The Children Of Time
by abc-mno
Summary: Gen.One/Two. Multi-Couple. A horrific plane crash occurs on a journey from London to New York leaving only 15 survivors. As their time on the island grows and survival becomes harder, they start to realise it was not just a coincidence. Is it too late?
1. The Ghost Farm

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything. **_

_**Set four years after series 2, two years after series 4. (2012)**_

To you, it was just picking flowers. To them, it was a massacre.  
(_Please Find This; IWroteThisForYou)_

"In other news, an aeroplane that took off from Heathrow Airport last night has mysteriously disappeared. Investigations are being made into where the plane currently is. We now join our correspondent in London. John, what's happening down there?"

"Well I've spoken to the Managing Director of Flights and Travel, and from what we can gather there has been no further success. It has been said that the plane vanished from all tracking systems and it is now removed from all Flight Grids. They are saying down here that they just don't know what has happened. More investigations are under way and I can say with confidence that everybody is teaming together to recover the Plane. It's honestly astonishing, as this has never happened before. All we can do at the moment is hope for the safe return. Back to you, Helen."

Effy. Group 1. Day 1.

_She can see him again. His lanky legs wobbling towards her, a sly smile making its way onto his pursed lips. He's so beautiful. The emptiness disappeares completely and she feels herself allow a simple smile to break onto her own face. It feels so easy, so nice to be able to smile without it aching in her gut. Without feeling regret and immediate resentment._

_"You're here." She whispers, looking up to meet his eyes. "You're actually here."_

_"I've always been here, Effy." He replies as he brings his palm to her cheek and begins caressing the skin. A sigh escapes her parted lips as her body slouches in relief._

_He's here. He's here, and she is safe. Everything is going to be okay._

_"Can we stay?" She asks as she nods to her own question. "Can we stay together now? I won't wake up?"_

_Freddie breathes out a silent laugh, air rushing past her cheek. "Effy, you're all going to eventually wake up."_

_Effy's face stills. Her smile is wiped off her face in an instant. "Who?" She narrows her brows. "Who's going to wake up? I don't want to wake up."_

_Freddie's face suddenly turns sad and his beautiful smile is no longer present on his face. "We'll be together soon. But now you're the only one that knows them all. You are the connection."_

_Effy shakes her head. She doesn't want to go back to reality. She wants to stay here with Freddie, she needs to._

_"I don't understand." She murmurs urgently. This is all going to disappear soon; she's seen it happen before. "Wait. I don't want to go back there. I don't have a connection." Freddie's hand drops, like it always does. "Don't go."_

_"We'll be together soon, Effy."_

Naomi. Group 1. Day 1.

Red. All she can see is that fucking colour again. Bright red enveloping her, exploding behind her eyelids and cascading right into her. It burns. She suffocates, coughs and splutters. Her oxygen has disappeared and all she can breathe is red. Thick and musty and heavy inside her lungs. She lets it take over her body, control her slow heart beat. It's slowly killing her, but she welcomes it freely. Naomi learnt a long time ago the effects of red.

"Oh, wow. It's, like, so red."

Naomi jolts in a fit of desperation. Her lungs searching for oxygen and something other than the burning red mist. Her eyes fly open and immediately start scanning her surroundings. Her body stays limp upon the soft surface molding around her body.

"Wow. She's awake." The high-pitched voice rings out again. Had she been asleep? Naomi's lying on her back, all she can see is the clouds slowly floating away and out of eyeshot. "Eff, this one's awake." The voice shouts out again.

Naomi can hear movement beside her and all of a sudden there is hot breath against her ear lobe. There's a tickle of hair against her cheek and then the excited voice again. "I like watching the clouds too." The girl whispers. And Naomi's not watching the clouds by fucking choice; she just can't move the heavy twatting head of hers. "They're just wow…so, like, beautiful."

Naomi opens her mouth, wants to tell this strange girl that she doesn't want to watch the yellow sun and the white clouds and all the blue in between. She doesn't want to lie here consumed by the need to run away from this strange lack of knowledge. She doesn't want to be here anymore.

Naomi opens her mouth to say everything that is invading her thoughts, but all she comes out with is a harsh whimper. She shocks herself by the sudden expression of feelings. Naomi doesn't do crying. She doesn't do emotions. That was all in the past and long ago forgotten. So she quickly blinks away the tears.

"Naomi." A familiar voice. She recognizes it, but can't place it. It's from a long time again, so fucking long ago she doesn't want to think about it. "Hey, Naomi can you hear me?" Naomi closes her eyes. This is a dream. Maybe if she closes her eyes tight enough, she'll just wake up on the plane again. The plane…

"Naomi, it's Effy." She was on a plane. Watching the yellow sun and the white clouds and all the blue in between. She was looking out the glass window. She's not here. "If you can hear me nod, just nod, Naomi."

"I can't." She croaks out, her throat is sore. She needs a drink, maybe when she wakes up she can get an airhostess to bring her a shot of vodka. Something strong. "I can't move."

"Yeah." The other girl says again. "And you're bleeding. Like, really bad. Just," she lets out a light giggle, "so red."

Naomi feels anger bubble up inside her. Even if this is all a dream, she's not happy about not being able to see what is going on with her body, and being laughed at because she's apparently bleeding. No, Naomi isn't laughed at anymore. "This isn't fucki-"

"Cass," Effy interjects, talking to the other girl. "Will you go and check if the others need help?" There's a terrifying edge to Effy's voice. She almost sounds worried, and the old Effy Naomi used to know never got worried. The old Effy never showed any sign of emotion.

"Oh, yeah okay." The girl sounds older than Effy, so Naomi's shocked that she's so up to do whatever Effy demands. Maybe Effy became bossy as well. "It's all just so crazy."

There's some shuffling, and then Naomi hears the patter of footsteps walking away. She feels slightly guilty for feeling a sense of relief when the footsteps stop and she knows the cheerful girl is gone. Naomi hates happy people.

"It's just the shock. You'll be alright once you get over the shock." Effy eventually says. Naomi thinks that Effy might have rested a hand on top of her arm, but she can't feel anything so she can't be sure. "Close your eyes and calm down. Breathe. You'll get movement soon." Naomi swallows. She hates not being in control, especially when it concerns her own body.

Naomi decides that she will close her eyes, and she will take a deep breath. But when she reopens them, she won't just get movement, she'll be back on the plane. It's all just a dream, a fucking nightmare.

Jal. Group 2. Day 1.

She's sitting on a log, watching the whole scene play out before her. It's horrible, a horrible situation. Not only has the plane crashed and left them stranded on some beach, but half the passengers are dead. The bodies haven't been tended to yet, everyone that's conscious are concentrating on the bodies with a pulse flowing through them. It's horrible.

Jal knows she should be helping; she's the only nurse awake on the beach. The really strange thing is, and the main reason as to why she's still observing everyone is because she already knows some of the people alive. They're all from a past she's tried so hard to forget about. Jal doesn't believe in coincidences though. That's the thing that's worrying her.

It's silly really. Being stuck on an island with 50 dead passengers, potentially only 8 survivors, no food, no way of getting off the island and being most worried about who the company is. But it's not that. Because, Jal doesn't believe in coincidences, so why is she being brought back together with friends from college again. It had been 4 years. She was dealing.

"Jal, right?" She hears a voice call, and she looks up to see a guy with very dark skin walking towards her. He seems to be struggling to walk through the deep sand. "Why are you sitting all the way up here?" He asks, she notices he has a very strong accent, from where in the world she can't tell.

"I'm just thinking." Jal shrugs, moving up the tree-trunk to make room.

"Yes." The man agrees nodding his head enthusiastically. "You are the medic, I hear. You need to think."

He sits down next to her, and she immediately feels calmer. He turns and smiles at her, and he has a real sense of meaning in it. It's such a genuine smile; she can't help but let one spread across her face in response. His only flaw is his eyes. They're gentle and kind eyes, but she can see worry and a sense of panic hiding deep within them. It just makes her more scared.

"I'm Thomas." He says as he sticks out his hand in front of her. Jal takes it and winces as he shakes it up and down with force. "And you are Jal."

Jal nods. "How'd you-"

"The girl with curly hair told me. Ma-ch-elle."

"Michelle."

"Yes." Thomas smiles gratefully. "You know her?"

Jal looks onto the beach and spots Michelle immediately. She's with the group of people all kneeling over the small redheaded girl. "We went to college together." Jal whispers. "In fact, I went to college with half of these people here."

"What a coincidence!" Thomas almost shouts, causing Jal to flinch and instantly drag her eyes back to the man sitting next to her. "I also went to college with half of these people. Friendly people, they are. I even like to think they are still friends."

None of it makes sense. It's all too weird and coincidental.

"Anyway, it was nice meeting you, Jal." Thomas extends a hand again but this time he takes it upon himself to reach for Jal's too. "I have to get back to my girlfriend now. She's pregnant." He nods enthusiastically. Proudly. It makes Jal feel sick.

She watched as he walks away, going to make sure his girlfriend and child is safe. She once had someone that would check she was safe. She once had a baby to check was safe. There's a new feeling in her stomach now. Nostalgia.

It's all too strange, and Jal doesn't believe in coincidences. She manages to turn on her front before she throws up.

Sid. Group 1. Day 1.

His hat's making his head sweat. His glasses slowly slipping down his chubby nose. His t-shirt's sticking to his flesh. Sid hates the heat, he hates sweating, and most of all he hates how his cheeks burn red under the rays.

"Oh, fuck." The man standing beside him mutters. "Oh, shitting fuck." Anwar's been muttering curses to himself for the past hour, shaking his head and rubbing his brow. "This wasn't meant to happen, man. We should be in New York by now. The plane should have fucking landed by now."

Sid continues to stare at the sand beneath his feet. This was all shit. He remembers sitting on the plane with Cassie, her fingers writing invisible words along his hand as she stared out the window in her own trance, and then he just woke up lying face down on this fucking island. Sand on his tongue, water at his feet and a crowd of bodies lying limp around the plane.

He'd gotten up and immediately started searching through the bodies until he got to Cassie. She was looking up at the sky, mumbling the shapes of the clouds aloud and tracing them through the sand. Untouched and unharmed. That was when Effy had called them over and asked to help sort through the bodies.

"We're stuck on an island. Deserted on a fucking island." Anwar shakes his head, looking back at Sid. "It's hopeless."

"Sidney." Sid looks up from the sand at the sound of Cassie's voice. "Sid, Effy said we should start looking through the bodies to make sure none of them are sleeping. But, like, that girl's been crying so loud I think they would have woken up." Cassie points towards a girl roughly wiping her eyes while sitting at the waters edge. "Wow, she's just, like, really upset."

Sid nods and starts walking towards the plane wreck where the bodies are all lying. The plane is lying on its side, stripped of most of its metal. Luggage and clothes all scattered around the beach, the contrast of the colourful clothing and the dull yellow sand makes his eyes hurt, even behind thick lenses.

This was the worst job. Checking through the dead bodies to see if there are any survivors, holding on to the last thread of life. It had to be done, and Sid wants to make sure the jobs done properly. He's lazy, yes. But he'll make sure there isn't a body left unchecked. If there's anybody still alive, Sid will find them. Even if it means bloodying his hands. Even if he has to spend the whole night.

JJ. Group 2. Day 1.

Emily is still unconscious. JJ is sitting with her head on his lap, her blood soaking through his shirt. There's blood everywhere, but she's still alive. She will recover. If there's anything he knows about the twin, it's that she's a fighter.

There are eight survivors from the plane crash. Including him. This means that approximately 97.5% of the passengers are dead and/or missing. He'd run it over in his head over and over until it had sunk in. He's never a lucky person, but his statistics have shown that he only just made the percentage. Another 0.5 onto the percentage and he would have had to lose a survivor.

"Is she still out?" JJ hears a voice ask from above him. He pulls Emily closer and then looks up to see a curly-haired women looking down at him. "I'm Michelle, by the way."

JJ considers lifting a hand out in greeting, but that would mean taking a hand off of Emily and this would cause less pressure on the body. And even if it were only a minor amount of pressure, it could be making all the difference. He doesn't risk it.

"JJ." He says bluntly, feeling awkward. "Well, I was baptized Jonah Jeremiah Jones. So really, technically you should call me by that name because that's what my parents obviously imagined someone would call me. No one has ever actually called me that though, not even my parents, so this would probably mean you don't have to call me by my full name. You could choose either my first name or middle name if you liked though, I have been called both by-"

"JJ, has she got any better?" Michelle interrupts, raising her eyebrows urgently.

"Who?" JJ asks, forgetting for a moment what he has previously spoken about. Has he mentioned that someone was better? Michelle could be talking about Emily though, but he wants to be sure. He doesn't like looking like a fool and rambling on about a subject no one has asked about.

"Your girlfriend?" Michelle points to Emily in his hands. He wraps his fingers tighter around her t-shirt and watches as his knuckles begin to turn white.

"Emily?" He shakes his head dramatically. "No. No she's not my girlfriend. I haven't even seen her for two years, not since college. And long-term relationships have been proven to on average end in the first eight months. But she couldn't be anyway. Emily's gay. And I'm not a girl. Although there was this one time in college when she helped me lose my-"

"Can I bring Jal over?" The girl speaks again, cutting off his sentence. He's slightly relieved though; he has a feeling he was about to tell some very personal details to a classic stranger. "She's a nurse. Emily seems to be bleeding a lot."

"Yes. Yes, bring her over. Emily's face has become at least twice as pale as it had been when I first found her." JJ nods, looking past Michelle towards the woman that must be Jal.

Emily will pull through. JJ is sure.

Katie. Group 1. Day 1.

The water was lapping at her feet, slowly reaching the tips of her toes and then floating away toward the rest of the sea. She wipes her eyes and feels the wetness again. Katie has been crying non-stop since she found her way to the water's edge. Emily is gone. She's scanned through all of the bodies looking for bright red hair countless times to no success.

Emily had been sitting right next to her. She remembers shouting at her to move her feet to the left because she was so close. She had been right there next to her, before Katie blacked out and ended up lying beneath an escaped plane chair on an empty beach. How can she just disappeared? Emily is gone. She isn't dead. Katie knows that Emily isn't dead. She'd know if she were dead. But where is she?

"Katiekins." She hears a bellowing voice holler above her. She know it's Cook. Fucking James Cook. Katie doesn't even want to think of the other people on the island that she knows. She doesn't want to think about how weird it all is yet. She has to find Emily first. It's Katie's duty to warn Emily that Naomi Fucking Campbell was on board. Stupid lezza bitch.

"What's up? It's fucking shit innit?" Cook asks as he lowers himself down. "I were just helping the Sid guy check the bodies. It's a fucking disaster, babe. But at least you're alright, ey."

"Fuck off, Cook." Katie spits out, not taking her eyes off the sea.

"Alright, babe. I were only bein' nice, weren't I?" Cook shrugs, his eyebrows all in a twist. "You should be happy you're not fucking dead, like the rest of 'em."

"I'll be relieved when I find my fucking sister, alright? Fucking twat."

"Oh fuck. Emily's still out there?" Cook jumps up to his feet; Katie's eyes involuntarily follow him to look up. "Don't worry, babe. I'm gunna find her. Fuck, can't have Emilio out there. Naomi will-"

"You won't say fucking shit about Emily to Naomi fucking Campbell, do you hear?" Katie's on her feet in a second, standing on tiptoes to face Cook. "She's my sister, and I will fucking find her, not that stupid lezza twat."

Cook raises his hands in mock surrender. "Katie, I'm not bein' funny, right. But if Emily's still out there, we need all the fucking help we can get. We don't even fucking know where we-"

"Emily's here?" A weak voice murmurs from behind Katie. She already knows who it is. The bitch.

"It's none of your fucking business." Katie snaps over her shoulder. Naomi stares at her with a broken face, her eyes already watering up. Worry written all over it.

"Wow, um guys. Effy wants to see us. Something about a plan." A blonde girl smiles, pointing towards the far end of the beach. Further away from the plane. "It's, like, really important. So," She shrugs and walks away from them.

"Fucking hell." Katie mutters under her breath.

Katie knows what her plan is. She's going to find Emily. They're going to get off of this island. And then they'll carry on with their fucking lives.

Tony. Group 2. Day 1.

"Here's the thing. There is another half of the plane missing. And my sister is with it." Tony shouts, calling to all of the survivors on the beach. "We have nothing this side of the plane, so we are going to have to move soon anyway. I think if we can set off now, then we have a good chance of making it to the other side of the island by morning."

Tony looks out to the crowd. There are five eyes all looking back at him with a hint of confusion and worry. Someone has to take charge eventually, and no one else seemed to act. He already knows half of them from college anyway.

Michelle is first to drag her hand up. "Tony, the girl Jal is with hasn't even woken up. She's not well enough to walk to the other side. She's lost too much blood."

Tony looks past the group, toward Jal and the redhead lying on the floor. The two of them and himself make up eight of them. "There's no way she can stay alive here. We have no food. No clean water. No medical kit. There's nothing here, Chelle."

"I'll carry her." Maxxie calls, followed by another offer from a boy that introduced himself earlier as Thomas.

"We can all take turns carrying her." Tony concludes, nodding in question to the rest of the group. There are multiple nods.

"There we have it. We'll move out in ten minutes."

"What about the bodies?" A girl standing next to Thomas and holding her stomach asks. "It'd be wholly mean to leave 'em."

Tony shrugs and looks at the others in the group. "We have to leave them. We've checked them, they're all dead. Our main priority is keeping ourselves alive now. It's brutal, but true."

There is a wave of murmurs from around the group.

"Ten minutes. Then we're finding my sister." Tony concludes.

Anwar. Group 1. Day 1.

Effy has assigned jobs. He'd put his hand up for the first announced and had waited till the speech was over. Anwar doesn't actually know what his job is, he wasn't listening. So he lies down on the sand and closes his eyes in contemplation.

It's been four years since he's last seen Cassie, Sid or Effy. It seems like a lifetime. Truth be told, the old Anwar would have probably been jumping at the chance to spend some time adventuring on a beach in the middle of nowhere. But it isn't just that. They aren't adventuring, and the truth is a lot more daunting and horrific. There are dead bodies. Fucking _dead_ bodies. This is serious. People have lost their lives on this plane.

The plane should have landed. That's all he can think about. They had all boarded the same plane to New York, and they should have all marched off into the same airport. Anwar was going to a conference in New York. He was only meant to be staying there for the week, and then going home.

Home. That struck another cord. His wife and children back in London. He can't just worry about himself now; he has a family to care for. A wife he loves and children he adores.

The group are all setting off to do other jobs now. They're carrying out their assigned roles on the beach. None of them have families. Anwar can tell just by looking at them. None of them have a wife and kids to go home to. He was the least expected to settle down in his college group. But he did. And he's happy.

Anwar looks up to the sky. Maybe his wife is doing the exact same thing, seeing the same sun, tracing the same clouds. Maybe they are still connected somehow.

Emily. Group 2. Day 1.

She's in a large white room. There are no walls, ceiling, or floor. Just whiteness.

"Hello?" She calls, walking around the room. It never starts or stops; she can walk forever if she could be bothered. She's wearing a white set of clothes, almost like a patient wears at a hospital. "Is anybody there?"

A practiced cough echoes throughout the room, and Emily immediately turns around. Her heart is beating at lightening speed. Her eyes burning into the boy that stands behind her.

"Christopher." He smiles, holding his hand out wide. He looks about her age, if not younger. He has a cheeky smile and his eyes twinkle through the white of the room.

"Am I dead?" Emily asks, ignoring the outstretched hand. "I remember a plane crash, and I just blacked out and… Shit, I'm dead, aren't I?"

Christopher laughs, shaking his head. "No, Emily. You 'ain't dead, babe."

Emily looks around, confused. "Why am I here then?" She says, searching Christopher's eyes for an answer. "No. Where am I first?"

"Dunno, really. I call it the in-between. You can call it fucking paradise for all I care though, love." He smiles. "Want to be my little messenger? It'll be a fucking ace job. Promise."

She frowns, and shakes her head. "Who are you?"

"Christopher." He smiles flirtatiously and adds a wink on the end for good measure. "I already told ya'."

Emily closes her eyes. She isn't used to being surrounded by such brightness. She can see the tips of her red hair swinging from above her shoulders and the contrast is starting to hurt.

"But, why me?" She asks again, bringing a hand to twist a red strand of hair around her pale finger. "Why do I have to be the messenger? No one listens to me."

Christopher smiles sympathetically at her, his eyes narrowing and looking deep into hers. Emily already feels her heart swell ready for the pain. "Because, babe. You're not gunna make it."


	2. The Tender Tinder Box

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything.**_

_**Thank you for the lovely comments; I was worried I'd get none.**_

You've made the air flammable. These walls are just paper. And blood is gasoline. You shouldn't have come here, made of fireworks, if you didn't want me to play with fire. I need a light.  
(_Please Find This; __IWroteThisForYou_)

Cook. Group 1. Day 1.

"Is Emily alright?" Naomi asks for the fourth time that hour.

"Dunno, babe. I only know that she was on the plane. Just what Katiekins told me, yeah?" He replies, for the fourth time that hour.

"Oh, okay." Naomi shrugs, for the fourth fucking time in the hour. And he knows what's coming next. Word-by-fucking-word. "I'd care about anyone, you know?"

"Yeah." Cook nods, staring down at the sea. It's been at least half an hour since Effy had given them all things to do. Like anyone cared about shitty jobs when they were stranded on a fucking island. Katie is still pacing by the edge, footprints permanently dug into the sand by now. Her eyes are searching the sea, her teeth worrying her lip. Cook decides to call Naomi's bluff, just because he's bored and fed up of hearing the same twattish bullshit. "Naomi, you can care about Emilio, ya' know? It won't kill me to admit it. Or you, for that fucking matter."

Naomi's lying on her back looking up at the clear sky. "Yeah, I know." She nods, and Cook's no fucking expert, but he can definitely sense sadness in her voice.

Cook leaves it at that, he doesn't want to push it. He watches as Katie drags her fingers along the width of her cheek and scowls at the wetness. Cook doesn't think he's ever seen Katie cry, and he feels really fucking bad because he's worried about Emily too, so he can't imagine what Katie must be feeling.

"You think we should go talk to her?" He asks, eyes never leaving Katie. He thinks she probably needs some comfort, but it's Katie Fucking Fitch. She'd probably bite their fucking heads off for suggesting anything was wrong.

"Emily?"

Cook frowns. "Nahh man. Katie." He nods his head in her direction. "She's in a right fucking mess." He feels Naomi sit up, feels her shoulder graze his arm. They both stare towards the sea and watch as Katie kicks at the sand sticking to her legs.

"Dunno." Naomi finally mumbles under her breath before looking away, towards Effy and the blonde girl she's talking too. "She'd beat the fuck out of us."

"Yeah. I thought that, din't I? But she's still our Katiekins." Cook can't take his eyes off her; she looks the same as she did back in college; her hair is a little less purple, a little more brown. Katie's started to kick away the foamy water from the sea. As if that's fucking possible, it's water. "She's going fucking mental down there."

"Can't blame her though." Naomi shifts her arm further through the sand, so her back is straighter and she's suddenly sitting higher than Cook. "She's worried about Emily being unsafe, about her being hurt, about her being alone. She doesn't want to seem weak by telling anyone, and she doesn't want to become vulnerable by letting anyone in on how scared she actually is. I just really want Emily back." Naomi coughs immediately, her eyes growing wide. "I mean, _she _just really wants Emily back. Fucks sake."

There's awkward silence for a while, Naomi is forcefully digging holes into the sand with an ashamed and cross look shadowing her face. Her brows are turned in, and it makes Cook smile, how Naomi thinks she's so fucking unreadable. She's always been like a fucking book to Cook.

"Right." He says. "We'll leave it then."

Michelle. Group 2. Day 1.

It's her job to make sure Emily is ready to travel. Jal had said that she needs a medical kit to properly help her, so Emily will have to just deal with a jumper JJ has kindly donated wrapped tightly around her waist. That's where most of the bleeding is originating. Michelle doesn't really like to think of herself as the kind of person to judge people on their looks, but she can't help it. She studies Emily for a minute and concludes that she looks like quite a nice girl. Friendly. She looks like quite a quiet person too; her clothes are simple, bright and modest. Emily obviously doesn't show flesh just for the sake of it. Michelle, on the other hand, quite likes to flaunt her body. If you have it, why fucking hide it.

"Chelle." She looks up quickly; guilty she's just been caught judging Emily. It's Tony; his hands pushed into his trouser pockets, a confident but caring look on his face. It looks too practiced, too fake. "I hope it's okay. To move on-"

"Tony, it was four fucking years ago. We were a good pair, but yes, okay? I have moved on." She hurries, it's such an awkward subject. Why the fuck was he even bringing it up?

Tony has a smile on his face, ignorant git. "Hmm." He nods, pretending to mull over the words. "Well, I actually meant I hope that girl's alright to move on from the beach." Michelle's face blooms red. "But, alright. Thanks for letting me know."

Michelle nods and looks down to Emily. She can feel her cheeks burning, probably the fucking colour of Emily's hair. "Yeah, I know." She shrugs, continuing to stare at Emily to hide her flaming cheeks. "I meant that too." Her eyebrows frown, that didn't even fucking make sense. Shit.

She can hear Tony's smug fucking laugh. Bastard. "Michelle?" She looks up at the genuine tone in his voice. "We were good together, weren't we?" He smiles; his eye's twinkling, and goddamn if she isn't falling for the Tony Fucking Stonem charm again. She watches as he walks away, hands still in pockets.

She misses him, really. She wouldn't admit it, because if she said she missed him people would automatically think she missed the sex and the relationship and then conclude she was still in love with him and wanted the sex with him and the relationship with him and… She couldn't admit it, because it was always a complicated thing. Her and Tony.

Once Tony is back to the rest of the group, all scattered in different parts of the beach, she turns back around to Emily. "Oh My Fucking…" Her eyes meet deep brown chocolate ones. Emily looks up at her with an unreadable look on her face. "Emily?"

Emily's face scrunches up, her eyes narrowing. "Who are you?" Her voice is rough and quiet. It sounds more like a breath singing out of tune. "Where am I?" Tears start to form on the surface of Emily's eyes, her mouth turning downwards. Michelle watches as her hand lowers to her stomach and her face cringes, the tears dripping down her cheeks.

Michelle feels the need to intervene. "Hey, hey. Don't cry, it's not that bad. There's a little bit of blood. Just a little bit. We're getting help, yeah?" Michelle reaches to wipe the tears from Emily's cheek. "I'm Michelle. We've been in a plane crash, but everything's okay. People are on their way, I'm certain of it."

Emily lets out a whimper at the news. Her body relaxes at the loss of breath. Michelle grabs a tighter hold of Emily and pulls her up so she's leaning on her arm and lap. She scans Emily's body as she watches the smaller girl do the same. There is blood everywhere, and her clothes are stained red all over; rare spots of colour stick out from the original form. It isn't a pretty sight, rather fucking worrying really. But it's best for Emily to see now than later.

"Shit." Emily whispers, grasping tightly for Michelle's arm. Her fingers slip off at first, the blood soaking her flesh, but then there's more force and Emily squeezes harder onto it. The blood-loss has made her weak though, the touch so easy to remove. "It fucking kills."

"Yeah." Michelle nods; her eyes tearing up just imagining what this must be like for Emily. "But we will get you sorted, okay?"

Emily swallows, her throat struggles to cope and Emily starts to frown again. "Katie?" She whispers, looking around with urgency in her eyes. "Where's Katie?"

"Who?"

"My Sister." Michelle looks around panicked then. She can't remember anyone being called Katie. In fact, she's sure there isn't a Katie with them. She could be with Effy. Tony had said a whole half of the plane was missing, she could be with the others. Wherever Katie is, she wasn't going to tell Emily they couldn't find her. The girl was already struggling to comprehend the fact that she was abandoned on an island with half her blood spilling out.

"Yeah, Katie's good." Michelle nods; she can feel her face growing red and guilty at the lie. "You can see her soon, okay? Get some rest."

Emily turns to her and makes sure they're making eye contact before speaking. "Thank you, Michelle."

Michelle swallows hard, takes a deep breath and nods firmly. "No problem." She whispers. Her throat closing up at the disgusting lies.

Cassie. Group 1. Day 1.

The girl is kicking at the sea again, her toes curling against the wrath of the sea and the sand teaming together to fight back. It's fascinating. How the earth will always win against anyone daring to be a contender. Cassie watches as the girl's feet splashes against the waves again, turning it into foam as it slips away again in retreat and fights back with another rush of waves.

"Wow, it's so lovely." She smiles, looking up to see the girl's body stop and become tense. "You just keep kicking, and the water just keeps foaming up, like…" She trails off, shaking her head. "Like the cycle of life."

"What the fuck are you on about?" The girl sneers, turning around to face Cassie with an incredulous look smeared across her face. The water crashes against the girl's legs again, met by no kick and no fight the waves run back to the sea gathering more ammunition within the water.

Cassie shrugs, a smile still playing on her lips. "It's like, you carry on even though your losing." She giggles to herself, Cassie can't imagine ever wanting to fight against the waves. They're too strong for her. "It's just so brilliant."

"Yeah?" The girl smiles, but Cassie can see straight through it. Her face suddenly drops the fake smile as she marches forward. "Shall I give you something to fucking lose?"

Cassie watches as her fists clench up and they swing and shake by her side. "Wow, you're so mad." Cassie shakes her head, her smile narrowing slightly but never disappearing. "So fucking mad."

"What the fuck do you want?"

Cassie throws her hand out, wiggles her fingers to catch the girl's attention. "I'm Cassie." The smaller girl in front looks down at the hand and back up to Cassie's face with a scowl, confusion written all over her face. "It's so lovely to meet you. We should be, like, friends."

The girl turns around, knocking Cassie's hand out of the way in the process. "I don't need any fucking friends. I have Emily. Me and my sister, we're gunna get off this fucking island-"

"Wow." Cassie laughs, shaking her head in complete shock. "What a coincidence. You have a sister, I have a brother." The girl turns around and frowns at her. "So fucking weird, right? You have Emily, I have Reuben. It's mad."

"No it fucking isn't. Loads of people have brothers and sisters." The girl turns around fully again, her frown making another reappearance on her face. Cassie thinks she always has a grumpy look to her.

"Yeah," Cassie says, like she's stupid. "But are all of them called Emily and Reuben."

The girl opposite shakes her head, confusion and ignorance winning over the millions of other emotions guest starring. "What… But…" The girl sighs moving her head dramatically; Cassie raises her eyebrows in a 'told-you-so' manner. "That doesn't make any fucking sense, you know? You're fucking crazy."

Cassie smiles proudly because she thinks she won that fight. "I'm Cassie." She wiggles her fingers and sticks her hand right in front of the girl's face this time.

"Katie." The girl takes the hand and releases it in the same second. "I'm not your fucking friend though."

Cassie nods in understanding. "Cool. That's totally super with me."

"'Cus, like, I don't fucking need friends. You know that, right?" Katie looks at Cassie expectantly.

"Oh yeah. Wow, totally." She nods and shakes her head in unison. "I so don't either."

Maxxie. Group 2. Day 1.

Tony rubs his hands together one last time and then looks up at them all. Maxxie gives an encouraging smile in his direction, because although Maxxie likes using his feet, he doesn't want to be standing there all day. He doesn't even know what time it is in the day, doesn't know what day it is or how long they've been on this island. Maxxie tries not to think about it.

"Right then," Tony looks around again. "Everyone ready to set off?"

"You look nervous." Jal comments, one brow raised with her mouth set in a straight line. "Sure you know where we're going?"

Tony half-nods. "'Course he does." Maxxie nudges Tony's shoulder. "Don't you, Tone?"

"Yeah, 'course." Tony smiles at Maxxie, nodding while his mouth speaks the words. "Anyway, only one fucking way to find out, yeah?" He cheers, clapping his hands together again. "Who's on Emily first?"

"Me and JJ." Michelle raises her hand and points to the curly haired-boy fidgeting with his shirt, Emily's blood soaking through. "She's just over there, I'll go get her." She says before walking away to the girl lying in a patch of red sand.

"Tone," Maxxie starts, stopping when he sees the man in front of him is watching Michelle's retreating form with as much intensity as Maxxie has when he's watching his 5-year-old dance class perform their dance routine perfectly. "Tone?"

"Hmm?" He hums before actually looking. "Yes, Max?" Then his eyes are back on track.

"I was just wondering, what if we need a piss?" Maxxie asks, shrugging his shoulders as if to emphasise how valid his question is.

"Then, Maxxie. We go for a piss." Tony smiles, but worry is still in his eyes. There's a glint of worry in everyone's eyes. Some more than others. "Right. Let's go then, little twats." He announces in a cheery voice, attempting to release the tension. Maxxie knows it's not going anywhere though.

Jal watches as Tony starts struggling through the thick sand. "I don't like this." She shakes her head. "I don't like it at all."

Maxxie smiles and links his arm through Jal's. He always feels like he has to be the happy one. The calm one. In college there was always a sense of burden on him, he was the innocent one that never got into trouble and always lifted the moods. He was starting to feel the pressure again, and it wasn't a nice feeling. Maxxie hates being relied on, there's always a chance he'll fuck up or disappoint.

"Well, Jal. Tone's always right, in' he?" They start to follow after him, Tony's already half way across the beach and close to the trees and bushes.

"You say that as if we know him." She shrugs and looks down at the sand, kicks some out of the way of her feet and then walks over it seconds later.

"We do know him." He nods. "We went to college together. Forgetting your memory, Jalander?"

Maxxie can see Jal's eyebrows turn in, and she turns to face him while keeping the same pace. Maxxie looks forward. "Max, that was four years ago. We've all changed a lot since then."

He keeps his eyes trained forward. He knows Jal well enough to know the expression that will be taking over her face. Maxxie thinks they all seem the same. There are minor differences, but not big major ones. No one's completely different. Maxxie doesn't like to think so, anyway.

Effy. Group 1. Day 1.

Sid throws the contents of the bag out all over the sand. Small clothes, old fashioned game-boy games, bars of chocolate and a stuffed teddy-bear. Effy clears her throat and feels a pang of regret and resentment towards herself for becoming so insensitive.

"Keep the food, we don't need the rest." She points to the bars of chocolate, kneeling to pick them up. She throws them to the food pile and moves on to the next bag. It's a pink fluffy children's bag, a little like the one before. They've come across many children's bags. Effy's become used to the aching in her chest, has had a constant reminder of the emptiness for the past two years, that she can't help but become used to this pain too. Cassie tried to help but started to get upset at every bag they opened, and none of them needed to feel anymore guilty that they already do. So she left towards the sea instead, she'd seen her sitting with Katie once or twice, but no one stays in the same position on the beach for very long.

"This is fucking disgusting." Sid sniffs, shaking his head and reaching for the next bag. "It's fucking unhealthy as well. Mentally, I mean."

"Sid, it has to be done. We don't know how long it'll be before we get rescued." Effy shrugs, she hates being the only one fighting normality. "We need to eat, we need to drink. There's no fucking alternative, alright?" She receives a detached nod from Sid. "Tomorrow we have the bodies."

"That's fucking great. We're giving them real dignity, aren't we?" Sid stops, fingers brushing over the bag beneath him. "This is so wrong."

"I know." Effy sighs, annoyance creeping into her voice. Didn't they realise it _had_ to be done. There's no other way. "I fucking know, okay? But we'll dig graves for the bodies, bury them with belongings." She says, staring at the bag that was once hung over the shoulder of a little girl A bag that was once chosen at a shop for being pink and fluffy and lovely. A bag chosen to hold a little girl's belongings. Trusted to keep her things safe. And here they are, invading her bag and taking all they wanted. Because she was dead. The little girl was dead. Fucking Hell.

Effy had taken charge. She realised from the moment she asked for her first demand to be executed that she wasn't the most convenient choice. Half of them only knew her as Tony's little sister, the mute sibling and the rebellious child growing up too fast. The rest knew her for being a mysterious train-wreck and a psycho that lived in a mental hospital because she tried to kill herself. But at least they all knew her. Freddie had told her she was the connection. So, she had to start getting things into order. They were chaotic when she had first woken up. The dead were lying with the alive. It had been hard to distinguish the ones with a pulse to the ones running stone cold.

Truth be told, Effy would prefer to hide in a corner and be silent and mysterious. She would prefer only having the responsibility to look after herself. Not everyone on the fucking island. But Tony would find them soon. She knew he was alive, and he would be looking for her. He would find her, wherever he was. The Stonems always found each other eventually. She just reminded herself that he was on his way. Even if he wasn't, the thought got her through all these horrible jobs.

"Sid." Effy urged. "Next bag?"

Emily. Group 2. Day 1.

Emily is sitting crossed-legged in the white room again. Breathing heavily. Eyes rapidly darting all around her. She can't help but gently sway back and forth in a slow and steady rhythm. Back and forth. Back and forth.

"Well if you didn't look like a mental patient before, you certainly do now." Christopher sniggers from behind her, he always appears behind her or out of sight. He's joking, but Emily's not in the mood.

"What the fuck?" She starts, pushing herself up off the ground and turning to face Christopher. "I mean… _fuck_."

He stays still and quiet for a while, looking her up and down as he bites the inside of his cheek. "You woke up." He says. It isn't a question, it's a statement. She cringes at the thought again.

Emily's face crumbles. All she can see is red sand surrounding her. She remembers her blood stained clothes and trying to grab hold of the girl's arm with weak fingers. She was, and felt, bloody raw. Her head had been heavy, her body had ached and hurt and fucking _killed_. It had been torture.

Christopher watches her face, cringes as tears start to form in her eyes. "Emily, I was gunna warn you-"

"But you didn't." Emily cries, her head whipping up and frowning. She hadn't known she was going to return to the real world anytime soon. She hadn't even known her real world was on an island in the middle of nowhere. And Katie. Katie was obviously gone, or hurt or something. Because Emily prides herself in being able to read people, and that girl she had been with was bloody lying through her teeth. "Did you?" She raises her eyebrows in a challenge.

"No." He shakes his head. But he doesn't seem regretful, or show any sign of remorse in the slightest. "I fucking didn't. Okay, Emily. But you were gunna wake up eventually, weren't ya'?"

"You could have told me I would be deserted on a fucking _island_. That I was bleeding to death. And that my sister isn't even fucking there. I mean, what if she's _dead_." Emily throws her hands in the air, her voice breaking as she voices her concern for her sister. She thought she would feel something when Katie died. Like she'd suddenly know because her brain was screaming it. They are twins after all, and connected together like glue. She starts to cry and looks away ashamedly, she doesn't want to show Christopher how weak she is, Katie taught her how bad weakness is.

"Your sister isn't dead, Emily." Christopher states, his voice a little kinder now. "Nobody's dead yet, okay?"

Emily wipes her eyes, the lump in her throat begging to be released. Christopher is looking at her with an expectant smile. "But that girl… She lied and… She lied and said Katie was okay."

Christopher shakes his head, his eyes still on hers. "Michelle, the girl, doesn't know who Katie is yet."

"But she will?"

"Eventually." He nods.

"Then, where is she?" Emily's voice has become a quiet mumble, her husky voice barely audible. "If she's not with us, then where is she? Is she all alone?"

Christopher lets out a breathy chuckle and shakes his head menacingly. "Sorry, love. Spoilers. Everything will become clear soon though."

Christopher takes a seat on the white floor. Flops himself down in a way that looks like he tripped. Emily follows him, sits down in a more elegant way before lying onto her back. The floor is hard and it almost hurts, though she feels like a fraud for thinking it when she remembers the pain coursing through her on the sand. Christopher smiles down at her and copies her actions, slamming his back to the ground with a harsh smack.

They lie in complete silence for a while, both looking up into the whiteness. It's so empty and bare and it feels like it's dragging her into a large black whole. Except, it's not black.

"I'm scared." Emily whispers. "I have no clue as to what's going on. And…" She closes eyes, needing peace from the intensity. "And I don't even think I want to know. You know?"

Christopher smiles and breathes out a light laugh. His eyes twinkle and immediately calm her. "Don't worry, babe. If things work out, it'll be the way it's meant to be."

Emily wants to know what is meant to be. Is she meant to be in the real world, or in this room with Christopher? Is Emily even meant to _be_? Because she's always felt like an outsider, she's only even felt complete when she was with... She's just always felt wrong.

"Things are gunna change, Emily. Time's gunna bend over backwards for us. All of us."

Emily nods in understanding. But she doesn't get it, not a single word Christopher has said. But she doesn't want to ask, she doesn't want to know. Not yet, not when she can dream of home and a place and time when she was happy and safe. Not when she can so easily drift off into ignorance and naivety.


	3. The Floor Takes So Long To Hit

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything.**_

_**Thank you for the comments; I love reading them.**_

Congratulations. You took me down. And now, you have made everything that is sad, relevant.  
(_Please Find This; IWroteThisForYou_)

Thomas. Group 2. Day 1.

It's getting dark now and Pandora's already getting restless. He knew she'd have trouble taking the walk, her stomach slows her down enough, but Pandora's quite a slow person in general. They'd both be left behind somewhere within the bushes and trees and hidden sand if Thomas weren't pushing her forward with his hand gently wedged in the small of her back. He couldn't let that happen.

JJ fidgets next to Pandora, clicking his fingers again and again. Over and over. Thomas hates the sound, but he knows that JJ has to have some coping mechanism to stop him getting locked on and completely losing it. He cares too much for his friends, that's what Pandora had told him once. Though Thomas hardly thinks putting up with constant bone-clicking is demonstrating the statement very well.

"Oh my monkeys, this walk is getting whizzer tiring." Pandora huffs, her cheeks red with tiredness and clammy with sweat. Thomas can't help but find it endearing, her struggle to cope with easy tasks. Though it isn't easy for Pandora, her job is to sit at a reception desk all day. No exercise or moving. Her University History course had failed miserably after coming home and crying that it was 'too effin' hard, it's bloody bonkers is what is it, wholly ga-ga.'

"I'm completely hungry as well. My stomach's going barkingly-ra-ra. Making me feel dizzy banana's, flipping and flopping like a bloody pancake."

Thomas stops, JJ bumps into his shoulder at the sudden halt. "You're dizzy?" He asks, placing the back of his hand across her forehead. It's warm, but he can't tell if it's from exhaustion or sickness. Thomas is worried. "Panda Sweets, do you need to take a seat down?"

JJ turns around in concern, looking Pandora up and down. Red cheeks to wobbly legs. "I'll, um, I'll get them to stop." He stutters before jogging to the front of the pack, carefully manoeuvring round Maxxie and Michelle carrying Emily.

"I guess that'd be wholly great. My head's going bonkers mad." Pandora smiles at Thomas, reaching for his hand and squeezing. "Thanks, Tomo. You're my hero; caring and every'fin'."

"It is perfectly alright. Let's get you a rock to sit on." Thomas places his hand on her stomach, searching for movement of some kind, frowning when none comes. "We'll get the nurse to check the little one's okay."

"We'll take a quick break, have a sit down and rest. But then we have to get moving. We'll have to stop the night somewhere, I think it's pretty fucking safe to say it won't be raining any time soon." Tony shouts, looking to the back at Thomas and Pandora. "Jal, will you check the two at the back are good?"

Thomas keeps his hand firm on Pandora's stomach, listens as her breath starts to slow and become normal. He watches Maxxie and Michelle gently lower Emily to the ground, watches Maxxie walk to speak to Tony, and watches Michelle brushing Emily's hair out her face and checking the deep indentations in her skin, blood still seeping through and covering the whole of Emily's body. He watches Jal move her mouth in front of his face, with JJ staring expectantly at him. Oh, wait…

"Sorry, could you repeat yourself? My ears weren't listening." He smiles friendly and apologetically up at Jal, she smiles back in return.

"Right." She laughs, shaking her head at Thomas' comment. "I said, what seems to be the problem? And I asked your girlfriend if she was alright."

"Well, I'm wholly tired. Head's in a right spin, sending my eyes banana's and in all crazy different places." Pandora rolls her eyes, like it's typical.

Jal nods, translating Pandora-Language into actual symptoms. "Okay, you're probably just feeling dehydrated and tired. It's a common feeling for pregnant women, but obviously mixed with stress and anxiety it becomes stronger and more worrying. Take a rest, try and breathe in regular patterns, and we'll give you some of the water we collected from the plane wreck." She looks at JJ, eyebrows raised in question and pleading. JJ takes the hint and runs off to get some water. "There's not much, so obviously rationalise it. It has to go around."

Thomas looks at Pandora out of the corner of his eye, checking she's not hyperventilating from the news or anything. She's nodding enthusiastically, a thankful smile gracing her lips. "Oh yeah, totally. Thanks a bunch, I was completely mumble-jumbled with the bonkers feelings. Mental crazy, it was."

"What about the baby? Is the little one alright?" Thomas asks just as Jal turns to go.

"The baby should be fine." Jal nods, turning to smile at them both. Her eyes drop to Pandora's stomach, her nose wrinkles and her brows furrow slightly, as if she's disturbed by the thought. "The symptoms Pandora's experiencing is usual, it shows no indication of harm to the baby." Then she closes her eyes and briskly walks off.

JJ comes back seconds later with a bottle of water in hand. His fingers already itching to be clicked. Thomas smiles at his friend, takes the water and watches as he goes back to muttering to himself and pushing his fingers free.

Anwar. Group 1. Day 1.

The fire is the only light visible. The beach is blanketed in darkness, a world of shadows. Anwar could trick himself into thinking he's just in his garden at night if it wasn't for the sound of crashing waves

He pictures his wife. She's always in his head, but he closes his eyes and imagines the tiny little details. The way her eyes wrinkle at the sides when she smiles. Her dimple etched into the side of her right cheek. The curve at the end of her lips, the edge slightly turned up. The way she closes her eyes when she smiles properly, a whisper of teeth between her lips. The curve of her hips as they meet her long, long legs. She's more beautiful every time he sees her.

"I can't explain. She's just…" Anwar shakes his head. "Breath-taking."

"Wow, that's lovely." Cassie nods from across the circle, her head shaking and nodding and flying in all directions. "Isn't it, Sidney?" She turns to look at the man sitting next to her, her hand interlocked with his fingers.

Sid's eyes never leave the fire. "Yeah. Sure, Cassie. Lovely." Katie snorts from her position in the circle.

"Yeah, real fucking enthusiastic there." Everyone turns to face Katie. She shrugs and looks back at Anwar expectantly. Sid is still nonchalantly looking at the fire, like Katie hadn't just insulted him. If they weren't stuck on an island, Anwar would think Sid was on crack or something.

"Anyway, we have two children. Rodger and Catherine-"

"Fucking Hell." Katie sniggers. "They're fucking nice, aren't they?" Her eyebrows are raised and she's shaking her head humorously.

"Katie…" Naomi warns, her eyes narrowing. There's a certain understanding in it, a weak connection. Katie raises her brows at Naomi, like she's got the message she's being given but she refuses to take it. Anwar understands that Katie is worried about her sister, but it's still fucking rude.

"What the fuck do you want, lezza cunt?" Katie shouts, Naomi flinches from across the circle. "Trying to fucking tame me, are you? Copying my sister's technique for you. Although… that didn't quite work, did it?" She was staring straight at Naomi now. Cook and Effy look to floor, evidently knowing what was coming. Anwar watches Naomi's face begin to crumble, her eyes searching and blinking back tears. Katie's being a bitch, but Anwar doesn't understand enough to judge. "Because you went off and fucked that girl, right? Broke Emily's heart. And then the girl just decided to fucking kill herse-"

"That's enough, Katie." Effy says loudly, glaring at the small girl with her mouth still open from speaking. "Jesus, just…" Effy trails off.

Naomi's staring down at the sand, her breathing heavy and nostrils flared. Cook's arm is resting on her lap, his eye's staring with amazement at Katie. Anwar doesn't really get any of their expressions. Katie glowers at the whole circle, shaking her head and looking completely disgusted and _so_ pained. Seconds later she's storming off in the direction of the sea. Naomi gets up next, hand over face, and walks off in the opposite direction, Cook immediately on her trail.

"Sorry, it's just…" Effy shakes her head apologetically before leaving in the direction that Katie walked off in.

Anwar looks at Sid and Cassie. Sid's eyes are off the fire and trying to look through the darkness, darting from the different directions. Cassie's mouth is dropped open, her eye's watching the fire flicker.

"Well, I guess something's wrong there." Anwar murmurs, noting to himself to apologise to his kids for naming them 'fucking nice' names.

"Wow, yeah." Cassie raises her eyebrows higher, to emphasise her agreement. "Totally, like, crazy."

Michelle. Group 2. Day 1.

She can hear faint snoring from somewhere in the group. At least someone is getting a good night's sleep. Michelle's tossed and turned for the past half hour, closing her eyes and opening them, curling up and straightening out. However many different positions she's tried, she just can't seem to get to sleep. It's fucking her right off.

She sits up and immediately hates how dark it is under the trees. The air is suffocating; warm, thick and heavy in her lungs. She can make out about six sleeping forms, and she works it out in her head. That means that the whole fucking group is asleep, except her. And Emily of course, lying next to her. Michelle's taken it upon herself to be responsible for Emily. When they were walking she had Emily's arm over her shoulder the whole time, even whilst the other arm was slung over different people, she was permanent with it.

Michelle lay back down, crossed her arms over her chest, and turned her mouth down in a frown. Fucking typical. After being tired throughout the whole walk, when she gets the chance to sleep she's too fucking awake.

"Michelle?" She turns her head to face Emily on instinct. She's used to her husky, breathy voice by now. It's painful to watch Emily speak though; she always looks like it hurts. "Where are we?"

Michelle looks around, trying to gather what she thinks Emily can see of the place. "We're just stopping off for a rest, yeah? Tony says it's too dark to carry on."

Emily looks a little confused, her pale face still looking so dead. "Tony. Your boyfriend?" She asks.

This time it's Michelle's turn to be confused. Emily has only woken up about five times in the whole day, how does she know her and Tony have any connection at all? "No." She rasps out, coughs quietly to clear her throat whilst minding not to wake anybody. "No, me and Tony are old friends. Nothing else, nothing more." She stutters out, she doesn't know why she always gets so nervous on this topic.

Emily still looks a little puzzled, but she attempts a nod anyway. It turns out to be more of a small head lift. "Oh, okay." She says. "But you love him? Tony, you're in love with him." Michelle starts to shake her head, but Emily speaks again cutting it short. "When I woke up," She breathes, Emily is weak and fragile now that half her blood has oozed out and left her empty. She has to take things in small steps. "I saw the way you look at him. You love him. More than a," cough, "more than a friend should."

Michelle looks away from Emily's intense stare, it's leaving her bare and transparent right to the core. She doesn't like feeling like this, Effy Fucking Stonem always left her feeling like it. "Hmm," is all she can manage. She knows Emily is just reading too much into it, she hasn't been in love with Tony for three years, not counting the year she took getting over him. "You're wrong." Michelle nods.

There's an awkward silence that fills the air.

"You'd know the 'love face' then, would you?" She asks cheekily, directing the question back to Emily. Eager to get off the subject of Tony.

It has the opposite effect that Michelle imagined. She thought Emily would laugh and deny it, or spill her guts about someone she dated back in high school. Act the way her University friends would if asked about their love life. Emily looks away, or tries too anyway; she doesn't have the energy to in the end. So it turns out to be a sort of averting of eyes. She looks like she's in more pain than usual. Michelle remembers JJ mentioning that Emily was gay; she could just be insecure about people's reactions.

"Any special girl?" She adds, to make sure Emily knows she's fine with the whole lesbian/gay scene. She used to be best friends with Maxxie, and she was still friends with him even after he let her boyfriend go down on him. That's fucking commitment.

Emily looks at her with sadness in her eyes. "No." She states, her voice blunt and broken. "Not anymore."

Michelle picks up on the last words and she can't help the curiosity bubbling up inside her. "Anymore?" She says. "Is there a story there?"

"Is there a story between you and Tony?" Emily raises her eyebrows suspiciously, a small smile making it's way onto her dry lips.

Michelle laughs out loud then quickly covers it with her hand. "Hmm, I like you, Emily Fitch." She nods. "You're good."

Katie. Group 1. Day 1.

Katie's grown bitter. She knows she has, and she hates herself for it. But Emily doesn't. Emily loves her for who she is, she always has.

"The nerve. The fucking nerve of her." She spits, kicking the sand violently. What the fuck was she doing, daring to even look in Katie's direction? No, that was not on. There is to be no words passed between them, no eye contact. She will stay true to Emily and stay the fuck away from her. "Bitch. Fucking-"

"Katie," Effy says quietly. "Sit down." Effy has been sitting there, watching Katie march back and forth for the past hour.

"If you're gunna, like, talk, then you can pretty much fuck off." She shouts, turning and stopping for a second just so she can look at Effy. "I didn't, like, ask you to follow me. You came by your fucking self." Katie storms in a circle for a few more minutes, muttering insults and phrases she imagines screaming at Naomi Fucking Campbell. Her feet start to ache and the prospect of sitting and resting them becomes more appealing. "I'm gunna sit down, but not because you asked, yeah?"

She sits next to Effy, just because it was the closest spot, obviously. She needs a cigarette; maybe she'll look for her bag in the morning so she can search for it. She thinks she made Emily pack some alcohol as well, with enough flirting you can take almost anything on an aeroplane without them noticing.

"Talk to me." Effy says, turning away from the waves to look at Katie. Katie hates this new calmer version of Effy. It's too fucking obvious. Effy was never meant to open her mouth, she was never meant to fall in love and ruin her whole exterior. Katie _hates_ this talkative fucking nice version of Effy.

Katie shrugs. She'll talk to Emily when she gets there. When Katie finds her and they can get off the island. That's when she'll talk, when they're fucking swimming away from here if need be. She's not talking to any of the freaks on this beach. Least of all Effy Stonem, the girl that tried to kill her so she could sleep with the guy she ended up getting murdered. Fucking freak.

"Why are you pushing everyone away?" Effy adds when she realises Katie isn't going to respond, still watching Katie bite her lip and scowl at the sea blackened with night. "We all just need to stick together and you're-"

Katie laughs. Shakes her head and openly laughs in Effy's face. "No." She sniggers. "No, Effy, I don't need to stick with anybody. That's what none of you _ever_ got. I've only ever needed one person." She looks back to the water, Effy's face is making her feel, like, sick. "And Em, she never got it either. Me and her, we need to stay together. Because in the end it's always us two. I'm not fucking like you, Effy Stonem. You think you have everyone fooled." Katie shakes her head. "But I can see right through you. Right fucking in you."

From the corner of her eye Katie sees Effy frown. Effy's just a little fucking girl. It's sick, really, that she has everybody at her feet. Katie's grown up a lot since college. Effy's still just the same in the inside.

Effy coughs. "What do you mean, Katie?" And her poor little fucking voice is _weak_. She sounds like she really needs this, and Katie can't help but laugh. Effy is actually asking something of her.

"Wanna' know something?" Katie asks, her hands are pressed into the sand, making imprints that won't show come morning. "Want me to talk to you?"

Effy's silent. Her eyes trained on Katie's face.

"After you fucked off and left everyone, Cook went to prison, Panda and Thomas moved to America, JJ went to University and Emily left Naomi, I was left. I was fucking left to deal with Freddie's family and Emily's broken heart and no fucking home. No one helped me. No one was there to carry me to safety in an angel suit like I fucking did to you. I was alone with nobody, because you had all _fucked off_." Katie digs her hand deeper into the sand. Deeper and deeper until it's so far down it's disappeared. "You wanna know why I'm so, like, horrible? It's because you all made me that way. Because you couldn't be fucking bothered to help everyone else's broken hearts. You were too busy worried about yourself, or slitting your fucking wrists and shit-"

"Katie I'm sor-"

"No." Katie shouts, ripping her hands out of the sand. "It's fine. Really." She says quieter. "Because you taught me that I wasn't like you. I didn't need to rely on people to make it out. You think you're independent? You think you need fuck all? Like, no one even cares about you anymore, Effy. Cook, Freddie, Panda, they all moved on without you, and they don't _fucking_ need you anymore. And that scares the shit out of you, because you've always had followers. You've always had someone looking out for you. But now you have no one." Katie laughs and shakes her head in painful humour that never really meets her eyes. "You're a loser, Effy. And it's your fault that everyone is the way they are."

Katie's horrible. She's fucking horrible, and she knows it. Katie hates who she is. But Emily doesn't. Emily will never hate Katie, and that's why she needs her. Because they're two sides of the same coin, they're the paper and ink of the same book. They need each other. And Katie can't live without Emily.

Emily. Group 2. Day 1.

"So, how much do you know about me exactly?" She asks, blinking away the white.

Christopher shrugs. "As much as I know about your other friends. Not much, only what I need to, yeah?"

"They're not my friends. I don't even know Tony, Michelle, Maxxie or Jal. The others were my friends at Roundview, but not them."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't talking about them, was I?" He roles his eyes in a cheeky manner.

Emily nods, thinking for a second. "So, what do you know about them then?"

"Dunno, babe. More."

"Why?"

"Because." Christopher blinks and closes his eyes a little longer than usual. "They're _my_ friends. We were friends at Roundview too."

Emily gasps in shock. "Fucking Hell, that's so weird. Crazy coincidence, right?"

"No, Emily." Christopher shakes his head, now serious. "Not at all."

Cook. Group 1. Day1.

"Get some sleep, babe." He sighs again, watches the girl lying next to him stare up at the sky. "I promise not to let Katie Fitch come kill you in the night, yeah?" Cook laughs at his joke, Naomi doesn't.

"I can't." She says in monotone. "I can't fucking sleep." Her eyes scan the sky, counting every star she sees and wondering if they're still there now, or if any of them have died out in the past hundred years.

"Look, Naomi, we'll have a big chat tomorrow and talk about our fucking feelings and then we can sort this all out. Simple, yeah?" Cook smiles, reaches for Naomi's hand and squeezes it. They've always been quite close, him and Naomi. And Cook never worries about getting too close, he lets the other person let him know when he crosses the boundaries. But Naomi just sighs and squeezes back. The warmth of their entwined hands give them both comfort.

"Do you still love her?" Naomi asks after a few minutes of silence. "Effy, I mean."

Cook frowns at the prospect. He doesn't like to think about loving Effy, because it gets into the whole territory of Freddie. Cook never talks about Freddie, he never talks about his family, he never talks about the two years he spent in prison, and he never talks about Effy. They are his rules.

To answer the question he'd have to break two of his rules. Two too many. "No." He says bluntly. Cook turns to look at Naomi, her face is empty and she still looks like she's pale from earlier. He can break them for her. "I could never love Effy, 'cus she were Freddie's. She _is_ Freddie's, man." He shrugs and sniffs. It's a warm night but a chill creeps across the surface of his skin. "Nahh, babe. Not no more."

Naomi nods to herself, nods to the answer, Cook's not sure. "So…" She coughs and makes a point to study the sky. She makes sure she looks like she's more interested in the stars, like this answer isn't important. Cook can see straight through Naomi's façade. "You just got over her? Just like that. Easy."

Cook shakes his head, squeezed her hand again. "Babe, is this about-"

"I'm just wondering, Cook." Naomi interrupts quickly, her words in a jumble. "It's just a fucking question, is all."

There's silence that drags on. It's becoming awkward and Cook can't deal with uncomfortable silences, not when he makes them.

He knows what the girl next to him is thinking about. Red hair, button nose; the lot. Cook's been there, feeling a horrible ache for something he never knew he needed. Never wanted to need in the first place. And really, he knows him and Naomi are completely alike. "Naomi-"

"I don't want to talk about her. Fuck's sake." She scowls. "Night, Cook."

The hand inside his disappears and he feels cold. Cook's a hard man; he can fight his own fights, win his own wars and live the fucking life. But when it comes to being left alone in the dark, he's not so hard anymore.

"Night."

Emily. Group 2. Day 1.

"I spy my little eye, something beginning with…" Christopher thinks, looks around the room.

Emily sighs. "White."

"Woah. Fucking Hell, you are just too good at this." He claps. Seriously. He hasn't clicked on yet. "Okay, I'll go again. I spy-"

"Ah, fuck." Emily screams, grabbing her stomach. A sharp pain is ripping across her stomach, as if a knife is being dragged into and across her bare flesh. "_Jesus Christ,_ it's like…"

"Emily?" Christopher is by her side in a second, wrapping his hand around hers and pressing hard. "Right. Shit. Okay." He nods in three short breaths. "Look at me, Emily. Look at me." She's falling onto her back, eye's slowly putting on weight and dragging down. All she can see is white. All she can feel is pain.

Christopher brings his hand in front of his face, it's dripping red. For a minute Emily thinks he's got some of her hair; it's the only colour ever evident in the room. But it's dripping and making a rough pattern on the floor. It's blood, Emily realises, and cries out a strangled whimper. The real world is invading her peace. Christopher never warned her this would happen.

"Christopher, what's happening?" She manages to rasp out. "Why is this happening to me? It always happens to me."

Christopher holds onto her waist tightly. He leans down to rest his forehead against hers, their noses graze together; his breath is hot on her skin. "Breathe." Christopher whispers, eyes staring deep into hers. "Breathe, Emily. Just breathe. It'll be over soon."

"I'm dying." She whimpers, shaking her head. Water blurs her vision, her cheeks growing moist. Christopher pushes their heads together more forcefully. "Oh my God, I'm dying. Fuck, I don't…" She swallows. "I don't want to die. Not yet."

She watches as Christopher closes his eyes above her. "No." He says weakly. "Not yet."

The white turns to black. Her eyes droop low and force shut. This is it. This is it. She hears Christopher's voice as a whisper. The calm in the tornado.

"_Not yet, Emily. Fucking breathe. It's not yet._"

Pandora. Group 2. Day 1.

There's right hustle and bustle going on when Pandora finally wakes up. The sound has been loud in her ears, and Pandora is a light sleeper.

"Michelle, take her top off." Pandora can hear Jal screaming. "'Chelle, fucking take her shirt off now!" There's heavy breathing all around her, and it's kind of making her feel uncomfortable. She sits up and through the hazy dark she can make out a group of people crowded round the edge of the circle they had all made to sleep in.

"Tomo?" Pandora says before turning around to find Thomas' place by her side empty. She panics. "Tomo, what the bloody earth is going on?" She asks when she's standing and walking over to the group. "It's whizzer loud and…" She stops.

Emily's on the floor, her body jiggling in all different directions. Like when Thomas tickles her and she goes wholly mental at him and she laughs, it doesn't feel nice but her mouth makes her. But Emily isn't laughing. Michelle has obviously got the top off Emily to reveal a mental big scar on her stomach. There's blood spilling everywhere and it makes Pandora feel sick. She turns away and sees JJ watching the scene from a distance. He's rocking back and thro, like a rocking chair pushed too hard and you don't want to stop because there's a bloody good chance you'll get, like, a splinter in your hand. She walks over and sits beside him.

"JJ, what the bloody earth is going on?" She repeats herself, directing it to a different person than originally intended. "Emily's going bloody mad, and everyone is all panicky and bonkers and…" She trails off, staring as Jal screams urgent instructions at everyone.

"I woke up and Emily was just shaking. I thought- I thought it was the cold. But then I could see she was bleeding more. I should have stopped it, I should have helped. I should have bloody stopped it. Fucking-shit-head-prick-face-buggering-" Pandora grabs JJ's hand and squeezes tightly, as hard as she can, biting her lip to and frowning with strength. It's weak, really, but it does the trick. "Sorry. Yeah. I woke everyone up, she was just shaking and shaking and shaking and… she wouldn't stop. Blood was everywhere. I didn't know what to do. What could I do? I mean, I'm studying stupid economics in University. That's hardly going to save a life and, and she needed saving. They went to help anyway. I didn't know what to do. What could I-"

"You did bloody good, JJ. I would have thrown a monkey and gone banana's." She sighs at herself. She's so useless. "You saved her enough, Jay."

JJ looks sceptical. "Yeah." He nods, but his heart isn't in it and his eyes are searching the group with rapid movement.

"Tony, I said her hip." Jal screams. "Maxxie, Thomas, press harder and Michelle will you bloody hurry up with wiping away the blood. I can't see shit."

"She's a hero." Pandora says, more to herself. "She's gunna save Emily, she is." JJ nods as well, squeezing her fingers tightly and sniffing violently.

"Emily too." JJ whispers as he uses his free hand to rub under his nose. "Emily will save herself too."


	4. The Village It Was

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything.**_

We're a city of aliens. Pretending to be people we're not until we're comfortable enough with each other to be who we are. So only you know who I am.  
(Please Find This;_ IWroteThisForYou_)

Naomi. Group 1. Day 2.

It's still early when Naomi wakes up. The sun has only just started to rise, and it shines out across the sea with a purplish glint. Cook's still sleeping beside her, his head curled between his arms and his legs folded into his stomach. He looks like a baby flinching from nightmares. His hard exterior is gone and he looks like a lost child, searching deep within the woods away from the big bad wolf. For the first time in her life she feels sorry for Cook.

When she gets up and heads towards the centre point of the beach she sees that the others are all sleeping by the burnt out fire. It looks dead, ash scattered around like confetti at a gothic wedding. She counts them up in her head. Anwar, Cassie, Sid, Effy and- she hears her before actually seeing the girl- Katie is missing.

"Fucking…" The girl is by the plane wreck and it's a wonder Naomi can hear her she's so far away. Katie's always had a loud mouth though, so maybe it isn't such a shock. "Piece of ruddy shit, I swear-" There's a suitcase and a few opened bags lying around her, and she can only just make out the scowl across her face. Katie doesn't do smiling, not sincere ones anyway.

After the big shout out- on Katie's part- yesterday, Naomi doesn't know how to act around Katie. She doesn't want to keep awkward tension whilst they're on this island, but Naomi does not apologize. Especially when she's done nothing wrong. And especially not to Katie Fitch. Better to solve it now though, Naomi thinks as she rubs her hand across the length of her face, she can't handle another run in with audience.

Katie doesn't notice her coming until the very moment she stops some steps in front of her. The scowl grows into a full-on frown.

"What are you doing?" Naomi asks, keeping it simple and civil. There are three suitcases open, clothes disrupted and hanging out messily. The other bags surrounding them are left untouched; it was Sid and Effy's job to sort through them. Thank fuck.

"Looking for my things." She holds up another piece of clothing, nods her head approvingly and throws it onto a pile built up on top of a stringy bag. "I'm not leaving my shit with you." At this Katie turns and looks Naomi up and down with a smirk. "Though you wouldn't know fashion if it hit you in the face, would you?"

Naomi looks herself up and down in an imitation of Katie. She's just wearing normal, dull colours. Floral and colourful left a long time ago, after Emily walked out. "Where are you going?" She asks, gulping at the memory of the door closing behind red hair.

Kate studies her, judging if she's worth telling or not. Naomi raises her eyebrows and attempts a smile. It's painful and she feels sick in her gut. "I'm going to find Emily." Katie shrugs. "I think we both know she's not good on her own."

Naomi nods, but knows different. She wouldn't say it, not to Katie's face anyway, she has some humanity. "Yeah." She says, though it's Katie that can't be alone, it was never about Emily. She thinks that maybe Katie knows this. Naomi wants to help, be there to find Emily. She thought she'd never see the small girl again, and her heart constricts and her stomach starts to flop at the thought. It's an awfully good feeling. "Well, I mean. I could-"

"You're not coming." Katie deadpans, and there's no arguing. It's final, and that's just fucking that. Katie doesn't even recognise that Naomi's eye's have started to shine in a way that isn't completely down to the sun smothering her.

"But, I could help." Naomi shakes her head, searching for genuine talents she has, not just quick scribbles about playing the drums or being talkative on job applications. "I can always remember directions we've been in and-"

"Naomi," Katie stands and starts stuffing the clothes into the stringy back. It's a sickly yellow colour. "You're not coming. You've, like, done enough, yeah?"

Her voice is soft and there's no malice in there. She's just stating a fact and _god_, that hurts. Katie obviously wants to keep it civil between them as well because she doesn't think she's sworn yet. Naomi doesn't think, anyway.

"Can't we just forget that?" Naomi tries again. She _needs_ to see Emily. "It was so long ago and, and Emily could be in danger. That's so much more important than what happened two fucking years ago. It was a mistake, and I paid for it-"

"You _paid_ for it?" Katie actually looks confused. Like, she wasn't even expecting a thing like that to come out of Naomi's mouth. "Naomi, you broke my sister's heart. Like, fucking shattered it." Naomi looks to the sand, her heart aching and throbbing. "You can't pay for that, you pathetic idiot. You fucked someone else, and ended up breaking all three of your hearts." Her voice is still rather soft compared to last night. She wonders why she's being so considerate. "You can't come, Naomi. Because Emily doesn't want to see you, like, _ever_ again."

Naomi's eyes widen, her breath gets lost at the back of her throat, her nostrils flare and she swears she hears a whisper of a whimper escape her trembling lips. She shouldn't feel this way. It's been two years for her heart to recover, for her mind to forget Emily. Two whole fucking years and her breath still hitches at the mention of her name. It's not normal. "You don't know that though." Naomi manages to rasp out

Katie frowns as she pulls the straps of the bag to close it. "Yes, I do. Who do you think fixed her once you'd broken her?"

"She left me, Katie. It's not like-"

"You think she wanted too?" Katie stares at her incredulously. "You think if you gave her a fucking choice she'd have left? Naomi, you know it was hard for her. She wasn't happy." Naomi sighs, she'd tried so fucking hard. "God, she couldn't get it out of her fucking head. You would have done the same… I would have done the fucking same."

Naomi feels the need to defend herself, because she didn't want it to turn out like that. She had tried to fix it. "But-"

"Stop acting like the fucking victim, Naomi." Katie shouts eventually. Her face is becoming red, her eyes angry. It was only a matter of time, Naomi thinks, before Katie got angry anyway. "You aren't coming with me. Fucking deal with it."

She walks off and Naomi watched her. The bag swaying against her back. Naomi hates this fucking beach.

Jal. Group 2. Day 2.

"We'll leave the shirt here. She doesn't need it anyway." Tony picks it up, frowns and drops it back to the floor. "She can wear my jumper until we get to Effy. They'll have clothes there." They all look to Emily again. Her mouth is slightly ajar, her white skin paler than snow and her red hair just blending into all the blood dried to her skin. Jal thinks it's the worst looking patient she's seen in a while.

"God, it was such a close call last night. Didn't know what to do or nothing, did we?" Maxxie smiles and shakes his head. Jal doesn't think it's funny at all and has a nasty urge to slap him for even showing humour in the face of Emily. "Except you, Jal. Saved and everything. Amazing."

She nods, sighs and turns away from the blood and the dead looking girl accompanied. Jal can't stand to look at Emily. She was sure they would lose her last night. Her fingers had trembled, her mind had gone blank and her eyes were blurring in the darkness. She was so fucking sure her eyes had started to water for the loss half way through pushing whatever she could find against Emily's wounds and pushing hard against her chest.

"Yeah, Jal. You were fucking incredible yesterday. Emily sure as hell will be grateful. She owes everything to you. Everything." Michelle grabs her hand and Jal flinches at the contact.

She doesn't think too much of it. Thinks though, that maybe she should be promoted in the hospital. Because she basically played doctor last night, and Jal is only meant to be a nurse. "It's my job." She lies. Jal only ever does what the doctors tell her to do; she never acts on her own choices or ideas.

Jal's got rather tired of the compliments and congratulations she's been getting since leaving Emily with bloodied hands and a jittery heart. Pandora and JJ had told her she was a 'proper hero and stuff', Thomas had grabbed her wrists and looked deep into her eyes whilst whispering 'you are super, Jal. You save people like Jesus cures the blind'. It's nice, really. But she doesn't want to be a hero, and Jal isn't even religious anymore. She doesn't think she ever properly believed in the bible fairytales either.

"When are we leaving?" She asks, and she hasn't had any sleep. None of them really have, and she can feel her eyes droop and her voice drag on syllables too long. "We should get a proper medical set soon, you say they have them with the other half of the plane?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure they will." Tony nods, he's still facing the other way with Michelle and Maxxie. They're watching Emily and JJ on the floor. Emily won't wake for another few hours though, she's lost so much blood Jal wouldn't be surprised if she's like, created a whole new type of coma. Jal hasn't ever dealt with somebody who's lost this much blood and isn't having another supply being dripped in through a tube on the arm. She's not sure what will happen and isn't sure she likes this deal-with-it-when-it-happens approach. It makes her nervous. "We'll leave soon."

"I'm like, whizzer tired." Pandora chirps as a hiccup rides through her body.

"You can sleep when we get to the others. But, our priority is to make it across the island to them by this afternoon, yeah?" Tony adds, his body reluctantly turning to look at Pandora.

"How do you know where we're even going?" Michelle snipes, and Jal can't tell if it's intended to sound as harsh as it does.

"I just have a feeling." Tony shrugs, brows raised in challenge. "I just know. Okay?"

Jal doesn't really know if anything will come out of this trek. She may as well try though. They were getting nowhere staying on their beach. She doesn't trust Tony anymore though. She learnt to always side with knowledge than feeling, and Tony's using all his feeling.

Sid. Group 1. Day 2.

He wakes with a start. There is shouting all around him, though when his ears focus it sounds more like a heated discussion. His eyes blur and he curses himself for not bringing his ruddy contacts on the plane. Sid loses his glasses all the time, and he doesn't remember taking them off last night, which means they're somewhere beneath all the sand. It's a fucking joke.

"Sid." Cassie whispers from beside him, he can feel her close and can make out yellow hair next to him. "Sidney, your glasses were like, hiding under all this sand." She laughs. "But I saved them for you." He feels a hard object being placed in his hand and he immediately feels for the sides and slides them on. "You can see, wow. You look so much better with glasses, totally fit and stuff."

"Thanks, Cass." Sid loves Cassie. He loves her quirkiness, her inability to say anything remotely appropriate and the way her smiles always reach her eyes. She loves him too, Sid doesn't really understand that though, he's caused her so much misery in the past. When he looks in front of him he sees where the noise is coming from. And he should have guessed Katie would be part of it. She'd caused enough bloody trouble last night.

"No." Effy is shaking her head adamantly. "You're not going. It's way too dangerous, and I won't have it."

"You aren't the bloody leader, yeah? Stop acting like you're in charge or some shit. I'm going. Fact. Fucking deal with-"

"Katie, I won't let you go on your own." Katie is scowling at Effy. Sid doesn't even know what's going on, but he already doesn't want to.

Naomi raises her hand whilst stepping from behind Katie. "I'll go-"

"You're not fucking coming." Katie says without even turning to look at the blonde girl, her eyes are still burning into Effy. "I already told you."

He feels sorry for Naomi, she seems to be the taker of loads of shit at the moment. All given by Katie. At Katie's words Naomi seems to shrink into herself, her hand drops and she takes a few steps back. She has the posture of an old woman struggling to cross the road. Sid has the sudden urge to pull her upright and kick Katie into consideration because from what he gathered Naomi was being nice with her offer. Cook's already by Naomi's side though, whispering things in her ear.

"Katie, you can take Naomi or you can stay here, do you underst-"

"You're a fucking bitch, you know that?" Katie glares ahead, her fists are clenching over the bag straps with so much force her knuckles are turning white. "Emily's-"

"Emily will find her way here." Effy says with conviction. "And if you go alone, you won't."

Katie purses her lips and just stares daggers at Effy for a while before raising her eyebrows. "Fine then. Cook's coming with me." Naomi and Cook look up at the same time, and stare at the back of Katie's head. Naomi looks sad all over again, Cook just shocked and confused.

"Fucking what?" He asks, leaving Naomi and jumping beside Katie. "First I heard 'a this."

Katie turns to him, and she's so manipulative, so fucking controlling that Sid knows he wouldn't stand a chance. "Cook, you don't want Emily safe?" She says menacingly, narrows her eyebrows in fake confusion. "I thought you wanted her back. Yesterday you were ready, now you're-"

"Fucking," Cook shakes his head, rubs his hand over his eyes and throws a quick glance at Naomi. "Fine. I guess we can't leave her alone. So, yeah, fucking fine." Naomi is staring at him with no evident emotion, and Katie is beaming at him. Like she fucking expected anything else.

"Right." Effy says. "Get food, drink, stuff. I want you both back by tomorrow though. If you can't find Emily by then-"

"We will fucking find her, yeah?" Katie frowns and starts dragging Cook away. Effy looks ahead at Naomi who's already dropped to the floor. Sid wants to help, but Cassie has already run to her side.

"Fuck." Sid hears Anwar say from next to Cassie's vacated spot. He feels bad for not realising he was there, for not panicking when he was the only person not in his view.

"Yeah." Sid nods and sighs. "Yeah."

Tony. Group 2. Day 2.

"Right. This way." He nods, dragging his hand in the other direction. "I'm sure it's this way now." He hears heavy sighs behind him, comments of exasperation and tiredness and fucking all sorts. They could at least show some generosity, Tony has been leading the group, he's got them this far thanks fucking much.

"You were sure last time, Tone." It's Maxxie who's the first to address his decisions. Tony knows there's more coming and he clenches his teeth together preparing for it.

"Yeah. You fucking did Tony. And I don't want to rush you or nothing, but Emily needs a fucking medical kit." Michelle chips in, he can hear her struggling to pull Emily up onto her shoulder. Tony hasn't actually took Emily, partly because Michelle keeps avoiding asking him to help, she just tells everyone it's their turn and they hoist her arm over their shoulder. "Make up your fucking mind."

"I'm so totally tired, my eyes are going bonkers droopy and my head is going ra-ra."

"Technically we've been going in the same direction for over thirty minutes which means we haven't actually gotten anywhere. I'm not in the percentage who have photographic memory, but I'm eighty percent sure I have seen this tree three times."

It's quiet for a while as they all wait for Tony's reaction, or defence or something. Jal breathes out and nods. "And my feet hurt."

"Right. Okay." Tony claps his hands together and turns around to face them all. They have pathetic faces, like they're expecting him to take fucking pity on them. No chance. "You all fucking done now?" He asks and looks at them, Pandora and JJ have the decency to look to the floor. "If I'm so incapable of finding our way to the others, then why don't one of you fucking try, huh?"

There's no answer. Maxxie looks down in imitation of the other two, Jal looks guilty and Michelle just looks bored. "I think you are doing a great job at taking us to the other survivors." Thomas says from beside Emily and Tony realises for the first time that Thomas is the only one that hasn't insulted his navigation skills. Apart from Emily, but she's unconscious so he can't blame her.

Michelle sniggers, but Tony ignores it. "Thank you Thomas." Looking out to the group, he stares at them with narrowed eyes. "At least someone is appreciative that I'm the only one trying to help you all."

"Sorry." Pandora sighs, looking more levels of ashamed than he expected. JJ and Maxxie apologize in unison.

"Well then." Tony nods, satisfied. He's like a teacher, teaching his students how to use manners. "I say it's this way."

He turns around and starts to walk, the murmurs start behind him again. That's how it's fucking done.

Cassie. Group 1. Day 2.

"Extra clothes," a nod, "food," nod, "drink," nod, "vodka-"

"What the fuck, man? Why is there vodka in the bag?" Cook pulls out the bottle and stares at it with wonder and confusion.

"Erm, Emily will be like, well tired and stressed and shit. She'll need some, I bet." Katie shrugs nonchalantly taking the vodka and muttering a quiet 'check' under her breath as she drops it in the bag.

"But how'd you even fucking get it here. Security is well tight." Cook is still confused, his eyebrows narrowing.

Katie laughs. "Flirting gets you everything. Plus my tits are fucking ace."

"Wow, that's so totally hardcore. My necklace beeped in the big metal machine and I like, nearly ran away. Didn't I Sidney?" Cassie stares at the bag, then at Katie's tits. Cassie had turned lesbian for a bit during her second year of college. Though she fucked anyone, so maybe that doesn't count. But Katie's tits don't look anything special. She tilts her head to the side and shakes her head. "And, like, your tits aren't even that great."

Katie frowns and steps forward, Cassie can see a little bit of hurt and insecurity through her angry mask. Cassie just thinks she's a little girl putting up a front and, despite Sid's views on the girl, Cassie actually likes Katie. "The fuck you say?" Katie's in her face, narrowing her eyes and squaring her shoulders. Cassie smiles at her.

"I mean, I totally prefer cock though." Cassie shrugs and turns to Sid with a knowing glance. "Don't I Sid?" His eyes widen and he coughs a little. Cassie loves making Sid flustered.

"Right, yeah." Sid nods, looking so awkward. Cassie laughs at him and reaches for his hand.

"Whatever." Katie hisses and turns back to the bag. Cook's smiling at Sid and Cassie, nodding his head approvingly. He has a sickly smile on his lips and his imagination is practically sprawled across a thought bubble above his head.

"Nice." He smirks. Anwar snorts in disgust at him.

Cassie turns to Naomi who's standing the other side of her, playing with her nails and staring at Katie and Cook. Cassie knows she wants to go on this trip, and she almost feels bad for her. Though Cassie's already looking forward to getting to know her. "Tits are totally cool too though." Cassie whispers to her, because from the arguments and whispering, Cassie has gathered that Naomi is into that sort of stuff. Which is also cool. Naomi's eyes widen and her face taints a light shade of red.

"We're ready, I 'fink." Cook bellows as he slings the bag round to his back. "Best get of before dark, 'aint we?" He moves to hug Naomi first, whispering things in her hair as the girl nods. Cassie was sure they were a couple, though maybe it's only one-sided. Or a forbidden love. That would be so cool, and Cassie hopes there's some drama there. Cassie thinks she can read people like a book.

Katie stands awkwardly for a bit before Effy pulls her into a tight hug. Cassie sees Katie start to relax into it, and she thinks there's possibly a story there too. Maybe they were proper friends once, Effy always seemed like the person that needed friends to bounce off. She was such a loner when Cassie knew her four years ago. Katie has a hidden need for people as well, can tell she has an unhealthy attachment with her sister. Katie pulls out of the hug and straightens up.

"Fucking hurry up, Cook. We're coming back you dick." She says, though her voice is a little wavy and Cassie wants to hug her too. Just because.

"It's not safe, I don't think." Anwar says and receives a warning look from Katie. She'd already had to fight for the right to search through the island. "I mean, it's fine and that. You should go. Just saying." He finishes a bit abashed by the glares Katie is giving him.

"Well, I think it's totally brave of you both. Going after your Emily like that, it's so like," Cassie shakes her head in admiration, "like really heroic."

Cook's finally left Naomi and is now squeezing Effy. Katie is just looking at them with annoyance.

"We're fucking coming back, yeah? Stop being so bloody dramatic." Cassie laughs at this. She doesn't know why, but she's though that Katie was the most dramatic out of everyone here. Katie looks at her with pursed lips, Cassie likes how easily annoyed Katie can get. It just makes her like her even more. Cassie likes everyone though, or most people anyway.

Cook steps away and rubs his hand. "See ya' later everyone. We'll find Emilio in no time," Naomi looks up, "so don't worry about us, yeah?"

Katie raises her hand at everyone and Cassie immediately waves back, smiling wide and wiggling her fingers. Katie smirks, but not entirely meanly because Cassie can see that she's grateful. They both turn to the tree's and start walking off. Cassie feels her heart drop and suddenly feels like there's something missing, but she doesn't even know them well. So she doesn't know why she's feeling so upset over it.

"Right, come on then." Effy claps her hands together and turns to the beach. It seems so far away now that they're high up near the trees. "Best get on. They'll be back tomorrow"

Sid drops her hand and starts walking with Anwar towards the plane wreck and the fire and the sea. Naomi is still standing staring at the bushes though, her eyes are watered up and her face is so scrunched up she's surprised her eyes are visible. "Whoa, you like so scary. Like a grandma. An upset grandma." She laughs. "So scary."

Naomi scowls. "Fuck off."

Cassie laughs. "Wow, you know what we should totally do?" She's almost jumping up and down with excitement. The recent departure long forgotten. "We should so make sand castle's. Have a competition and everything." Naomi rubs at her eyes with a small smile making it's way onto her face. "It'd be so awesome and I'd like beat the hell out of everyone. This is so totally exciting, right?"

Naomi shrugs and sniffs. "Sure."

JJ. Group 2. Day 2.

She looks like she's drowning in Tony's jumper. It's big and bulky, the complete opposite to Emily. But he thinks it looks moderately better than her bloodied top, it had been practically dripping and he knows it was getting unhealthy to still wear it. Her face hangs over her chest, her body completely loose and floppy. Her eyes are shut but still look slightly droopy, JJ doesn't think that's possible though, he just can't pick out the right words he'd use to describe her. He doesn't even know if her pale face is more white or blue or red. She just looks completely disastrous.

"She'll be okay you know Jay." Michelle counters from the other side of her; he could see she'd been watching him study Emily's face. JJ wishes he could believe her, he wishes it more than anything right now. "Tony says we're nearly there, and then Jal can fix her."

"Right." He nods. "Obviously, I mean Jal will fix her. She's good at that sort of thing. She's trained to save lives, right? It's just, I mean, statistically speaking, someone that has lost this amount of blood stands a very low chance of surviving for more than, say, a few days. So, you know. If we look at it technically, then I should be worried. Even if Jal was the best nurse in the world, which I'm not saying she isn't even though that would impossibly hard to be, though there has to be someone, she might not be able to save her in these conditions. Saying that though-"

"You're rambling again." Michelle says in a guilty way, as is she feels bad for pointing it out. "I was listening and everything, but Thomas told me to stop you when you started rambling. Sorry."

JJ sighs, looks at Emily again and nearly trips over his feet. "No, the doctors have told me I shouldn't do that. So, thank you."

"Not far to go guys." Tony calls from the front. "I can feel it in my fucking bones."

Cook. Group 1. Day 2.

Katie sighs and turns in a circle again. "Any fucking suggestions then? Or are you just gunna stand there like a pathetic sausage."

"Sausage." Cook repeats and licks his lip. "God, I'm well hungry I am." Katie looks at him, totally bewildered.

"Is that a fucking joke?" Katie frowns. "You're thinking of food when we're stuck in the middle of a fucking island looking for a lost Emily?" Cook nods. "I knew this was a bloody bad idea."

"You're the one that said sausage, love. Don't blame me, yeah? Cookie monsters always hungry." He rubs his belly and raises his eyebrows at her, a cheeky smile always makes the girls go mad for him. "Ey?"

Katie laughs, half in exhaustion and completely in humour, Cook thinks. She wants him so bad. But then her smile turns menacing and evil. "Yeah?" She says, raising her own eyebrows in imitation of his own. "Hungry for Naomi Campbell or Effy stonem? Had 'em both have you?"

Cook swallows. "No idea what your on about, love. But I am hungry for you babe." He winks at her and she turns around, hiding her own smile Cook thinks.

"We'll go straight, I think." She says more to herself. Cook hadn't been listening to her anyway, just following. "Emily's the kind of person to go straight, yeah?"

Cook laughs, partly because it's ridiculous to think you know the direction someone would go in, and partly because it's a complete fucking lie. That Emily would do anything the straight way. "Right," he sniggers, "Emily's a straight one anyday."

"Shut the fuck up, Cook, and follow me." She shouts behind her as she's walking away. He could sense her smile in it though. She wants him. Everybody wants a bit of the Cookie monster. Everyone.

Emily. Group 2. Day 2.

"Emily," Christopher whispers from beside her. "You're here."

Emily opens her eyes and turns her head to face Christopher. They're both lying on the floor. "What?"

He smiles at her and reaches for her hand. "You've finally arrived with the others." He says softly.

Emily blinks. "Okay."

He squeezes her fingers. "I know you don't understand yet, yeah?"

She nods. "I don't want to go back there. It hurts. I like it here with you, Christopher."

"Yeah, man. But you'll love it when you see who's waiting for you there. It'll be fine, okay?" Christopher's voice is so soft, it's soothing Emily back to sleep.

There's silence for a bit, Emily just listens to them both breathing. Christopher' fingers are slightly clammy against hers, but she doesn't want them to let go. She feels strangely safe under them. Christopher makes her feel safe in this room, soaked in white. The only red is her hair.

"Ready?" He asks and waits for the telling nod.


	5. The Aftershock

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything.**_

But as the rebuilding begins, the memory of you returns. Shaking the foundations, cracking the walls and spilling what's left of the broken glass into the street.  
(Please Find This;_ IWroteThisForYou_)

Effy. Group 1. Day 2.

_His fingers always seem longer than she imagines. Long and thin, she'd told him once. He had smiled, she remembers everything about him, and he'd told her they were like her. Long, thin and the bringers of joy. She'd told him to fuck off._

_"I'm trying." Effy whispers. Her fingers wrap around his and she feels him squeeze them lightly. "You told me I should be the leader, you said I was the connection. But I don't know why we're even-"_

_"All will become clear." Freddie says. "You just have to wait."_

_It feels so good to be here with him and Effy just want to lie here soaking in his presence. But she has so many questions. They're starting to eat her up. "How will we know though?" Freddie looks at her, confused. "I mean, how will we know what we have to do?"_

_Freddie rubs her hand with the pad of his thumb. "Chris has someone. They'll send the message. You just have to listen to it."_

_Effy shakes her head; more questions are popping up with no answers to solve anything. "Who's Chris?"_

_"Chris."_

_"I don't know who he is." Effy shakes her head and leans it against his shoulder. Freddie smells of spliff and cider and blueberry gum._

_"He's not important. It's the person he tells that is." Freddie murmurs, like it's so obvious. But Effy doesn't know, it's infuriating when she's out of the loop. She's always one step ahead of everyone. Effy's not used to being oblivious. She doesn't like it. "They're here now anyway."_

_"What?" Effy asks, and the hand in hers starts to disappear. "No. No, no, no." His warm skin and soft stroke leave her, and she feels empty again._

_"We'll be together soon, Effy." His voice echoes around her until it's just a silent prayer._

"Effy?" _She can hear another voice, invading her thoughts and dreams._ "Effy, wake up. We need you." _It's a male voice, there's a pair of hands accompanying it. Strong and steady. They're shaking her shoulder and…_

"Jesus." Effy breathes out and looks around urgently. She's on the fucking beach again. Anwar is kneeling over her, his hands rocking her awake. "Anwar, I'm awake. You can stop now."

He looks down at his hands. "Oh, yeah. Right." He pulls them away.

"What?" Effy asks, annoyed he woke her up from her dream. More than annoyed she had to leave Freddie. "What the fuck is it?"

"There's people here." Sid says, pulling her up off the floor. "It's not Katie or Cook or that girl they've gone looking for. I mean, there's voices."

Effy shrugs. "Yeah. You know Katie and Cook and Emily have voices…"

Sid shakes his head. "I mean, lots of them. Way more than three." Effy's heart starts to beat faster. _They're here now anyway. _"Naomi and Cassie are getting sticks."

"Shit. That's not gunna fucking help now, is it?" Effy looks around, spots Cassie and Naomi walking towards them with logs and sticks and fucking branches in their arms. "When? When did you hear them?"

"Minutes ago." Anwar wipes his forehead with the back of his hand. "It's an island for Christ sake, who the fuck lives on an island?"

Cassie stumbles over and opens her arms, allowing all the long objects to fall down to the sand. "We're so totally prepared. We'll batter them before they can say elephant." Cassie's already searching through the sticks. "Wow, I so want this one."

"Cass, will you find me a big one?" Anwar adds.

Naomi drops hers and offers one up. "This one's perfect for-"

"No. We're not fucking battering them to death. Put everything down." Effy orders, staring at each of them in turn. "Cass, I said put it down."

"Right, so we're just going to let them kill us?" Naomi spits, looking towards the trees. "Jesus, brilliant plan, yeah?" Cassie nods and widens her eyes in agreement. Like a little child.

"Well, I'm going to go meet them." Effy says. "They're going to find us eventually, and it's best we make a good impression. Coming?"

Sid follows after her followed by a reluctant Anwar. Effy can hear footsteps coming from behind her and she looks back to see who's following.

"No." Naomi is the only one by the water. "I'm not fucking dying on this island. No way."

"Fine then." Effy shrugs and carries on walking. Effy knows Freddie wouldn't put her in danger. He loves her. He fucking loves her, more than anyone.

Pandora. Group 2. Day 2.

"So I told him he was whizzer mental. Barking bonkers, yeah?" Pandora shakes her head to emphasize her words. "He couldn't dance to save his monkeys, he looked like a flippin' frog. I'm so much better though, bloody amazing really. Super brilliant, I am. Everyone's always wholly jealous of me because I have banana skills. Do you think you're better than me, then?"

Maxxie shrugs, his eyebrows had been raising higher and higher up his forehead as she'd been explaining. Probably jealous too. "I…" He shakes his head again and looks as if searching for words. "I just, I mean I really couldn't say."

Pandora nods. "Yeah." She bounces her head up and down like it's on elastic then she stops dead. "No, I don't get it."

Maxxie frowns and shrugs his shoulders. "It's not that I didn't understand it, 'cause I kinda' got the gist, it's just-"

"Embarrassed." Pandora says, smiling sympathetically at Maxxie. "S'alright. I'm so whizzer good that if I weren't me, I'd be bad too."

"Um," Maxxie gestures with his hand. "Okay, I just mean-"

"Fuck, I reckon it's just down here. I can see sand and sea and hear people and… Fuck, we made it, I think." Tony cheers from the front. "Ready guys?"

Pandora smiles at Maxxie and runs to the back of the group to find Thomas. He's walking with JJ behind Michelle and Jal carrying Emily. Thomas beams at her with excitement. Pandora giggles and claps her hands and bounces up and down. "This is crazy, right Tomo? We're goin' home."

"No. Panda Sweets, we're just finding more people. Not home yet." He looks at her confused face. "Soon, but not yet. We're finding Tony's sister-"

"But, but that's Eff." Pandora frowns. Effy's here? She knew nothing of this.

"What?" JJ asks with a frown.

"Tony's Effy's brother. It's well bonkers if she's here too. I didn't know that's what we were finding. Effy, I mean. That's crazy banana's."

"Pandora, what did you think we were doing?" JJ asks, his frown looking horrible.

"Going home, like everyone else. Duh."

"Effy?" Tony calls. "Effy it's me, Tony. Can you hear me?"

Pandora's jumping up and down more giddily. "Effy's here. Effy's here. Oh my God, Tony just said Effy was here. This is bonkers. Totally berserk."

Anwar. Group 1. Day 2.

His hands are clenching and then releasing. Clenching then releasing. Clenching then-

"Don't worry so much, man." Sid says from beside him, he places a hand on his arm. "Effy will sort it if it's trouble, yeah? Calm down."

Anwar nods, gulping. "Yeah, right." Clenching and releasing.

"Wait." Effy whispers putting her finger to her mouth. "Did you just hear that?"

Cassie nods. "Yeah." She widens her eyes in shock. "You just spoke."

Effy shakes her head. "No, I mean can you hear that voice? It's getting louder." She leans in. "Jesus, was that my name?"

Anwar can't hear anything until-

"Effy?" It's so quiet he could have misheard it. He heard the voices louder last time, he thinks that the people obviously went wrong and turned out further away from them instead of closer. Fucking idiots. "Eff?" The voice is louder and strangely familiar. It's so far away that Anwar could never work out who it was anyway. No point straining his neck over it.

"Jesus, it's Tony." Effy mutters to herself. "Tony?" She's shouting loud, and Anwar hasn't even got round the fact that she's calling for a man he hasn't seen for four years. "Tony, I'm here. We're here!"

Sid frowns next to Anwar. "Wait. Tony? What the-"

"Effy?" The voice is close now; he can hear the smugness and arrogance in it. His voice will never change, Anwar thinks. "Effy, we're coming. I knew it, I knew you were here. Effy?"

"Yeah. Yes, we're here." She's shouting back louder now, and Anwar never thought Effy could be that loud. He always remembers her as being mute and silent and mysterious and strangely manipulative. "Right behind the trees." She looks at Cassie just behind her and whispers, "I knew he was here. I knew he'd find me."

Cassie nods. "Yeah. I totally didn't know there was like, anyone else. This is so weird." She jumps a little bit and Anwar smiles at her childlike attitude. "I'm like, all excited now. So crazy."

"Effy?" It's just behind the bushes now and-

"Jesus." Sid hisses under his breath as Tony steps out from the leaves. "Fuck."

"Eff." He cries and pulls her into a hug. Tony's eyes are closed but Anwar stares wide-eyed as his jaw drops. He looks the fucking same. Typical. "Oh God, Effy. We've been searching for days. So fucking long, I knew it though, I knew I could find you. They didn't believe me but-"

"They?" Cassie repeats, mulling the word over her tongue. "There's more? Wow." Tony looks up and frowns at her.

"What?" He says, looking around. "What the-"

"Effy! Oh my God, this is bonkers." A girl with a big stomach comes bouncing out of the leaves and jumps onto Effy, nearly knocking them both to the floor. Anwar's still staring at Tony though, and he's still looking between them all with a frown.

"No fucking way!" Anwar hears and is all of a sudden breathless from a man running into him. "Anwar, you're here. What are you doing here?" The man is saying, and it can't be. It's just not possible.

"Maxxie?" Anwar whispers as he pulls away to look at him. "Shit, man. What the fuck?"

"Oh wow. I mean, wow. This is crazy. We all totally know each other." He can hear Cassie mumble.

"Yeah," Maxxie nods. "And Jal and Michelle and Tony and… We're all fucking here."

"This doesn't make sense." Tony is saying, looking at them all. "No, there's something fucked up."

"I'm whizzer tired. And hungry. Oh, Eff what food do ya' have? I'm starved like a rumble jungle."

"No way." Anwar looks up to see Jal and Michelle walking through the bushes with a pale girl between them. "No bloody way." Jal is shaking her head and repeating it over and over. "No fucking way."

"Jesus." Effy says, running to the three girls in a line. "Let's get Emily down."

"That's Emily?" Cassie is frowning. "But I thought Katie and-"

"Katie's here?" The girl with the stomach is saying, looking around. "That's bonkers, I can't see Ka- NAOMI!" She shouts and practically trips down to the sea towards Naomi.

"Let's sit down." Tony is saying, though Cassie has leapt onto him and is squeezing him tight. "I think we all need a rest and a talk."

There's two more boys that make their way out of the bushes, and then that seems to be it. Anwar's mouth is still dropped low and he's still looking around like these people have been raised from the dead.

Naomi. Group 1. Day 2.

"And I weren't even sure if Tony was lying or just off his head and going a little monkeys. It's bloody ga-ga ra-ra fantastic to see you though."

Naomi is staring down at Pandora's stomach. She can't tell if she's pregnant or just put on enormous weight. It'd be rude to ask, just in case it's the latter. Pandora's shaking her head wildly and throwing her hands everywhere whilst her mouth is on a constant run. Naomi can see JJ and Thomas coming up behind her.

"Jesus." She says, and walks up to hug them. Pandora stops talking and turns with a beaming smile on her face. "What are you guys doing here?"

JJ shrugs. "It's a big plane and-"

"We were all on the same plane, and we didn't even know it. How whizzer crazy is that? And we are the only survivors. I think it's because we're brilliant great people that God really likes. We're his favourites, right Tomo?"

"I can't believe you're all here." Naomi is squeezing JJ and moving to hug Thomas. "It's so fucking strange, we're all together again. I don't understand how so many people can die, and we make it out without a scratch."

JJ shakes his head. "Actually, technically speaking, not all of us. Emily didn't." Naomi immediately freezes, her heart stopping.

"What?" She whispers, barely audible.

Thomas looks at JJ with warning. "He means Emily isn't in as good of a state than us. Not-"

"But, what do you mean?" Naomi can't breath. She's going to faint. Breathe. Fucking breathe.

"She's over there, Naomi." Thomas points behind them. "But I should warn you-"

"Yeah." She nods, searching the group of people near the trees for red hair. "Okay, thanks."

Her feet move without her feeling them. She's not even in control of them anymore, they just keep stepping forward. One in front of the other in an ugly pattern bringing her closer to the others. Naomi can feel her heart pumping; her whole body is throbbing along with it. Her breath is gone, and if she doesn't breathe soon she'll collapse. But Naomi's not in charge of her body anymore.

"Naomi," Effy's saying, tugging on her arm. "Just leave her for the minute. Jal needs to sort her out, and- Jesus will you just stop for a minute."

She steps through more people and finally sees who she's looking for. Her breath disappears and her legs fall beneath her. Effy's kneeling beside her, her mouth is moving but Naomi can't hear. Her eyes are fixed on the girl lying on the floor a few feet away. The tell-tail red hair is sprawled across the sand; it looks brighter than she remembers it. Beautiful all the same. Her face is blank and pale and dead. Blood has travelled everywhere; dried along the skin she remembers being so, _so_ soft.

Naomi swallows, can't feel the water descending her throat. She can't feel anything. Can't hear anything. This is what it feels like to really break. To drown, she thinks as she completely deflates. Emily is right in front of her, she's steps away. And she can't help but wish it all away. Wish she never knew Emily was in this state. Naomi closes her eyes and completely falls to the floor. Blackness fills her vision and everything disappears.

Katie. Group 1. Day 2.

Cook is so fucking slow, she regrets it now. She should have just sneaked off alone in the middle of the night or some shit. Naomi would have probably been a better companion. No, Katie shakes her head; Cook isn't as bad as Naomi Fucking Campbell.

Cook's humming a dreadful song to himself and acting out the drumming along with it. Katie would do anything to shut him up. "What's it like then?" She asks, glancing towards him curiously. "Prison, I mean."

Cook stops dead still, his face hardens. "Nah, man. I 'ain't gunna talk about that." He shakes his head and fidgets with his fingers.

"Two years wasn't it?" She says, nodding to herself. "It was in the papers you only got charged with that murder-for-a-reason thing, yeah? I don't really read or follow the news though. That's all I know."

Cook looks forward, ignoring anything Katie says. The silent treatment: most pathetic fucking childish trick in the book.

"It's just a fucking question, Cook. Stop being a fucking petulant-"

"I 'ain't going to talk about it. Got it?" He scorns, and Katie doesn't like being spoken to in that tone. She can feel the anger bubble through her.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, James. Just because you're a fucking coward and can't fucking deal-"

"Something beginning with…" Cook looks around as Katie stops in confusion. "B."

"What?"

"I-spy, innit? Best fucking game on the planet. I said B, so you know, get to it." Cook raises his eyebrows in a challenge and Katie decides to let it go. Emily loves this game; she has to concentrate on searching for Emily. She's alone and scared. No point arguing.

"Bush?" Shake, "Banana?" Shake, "Bird" Shake, "Bed?" Pause…

"Fucking-" Cook chortles and shakes his head. "Bed? Nahh man, where the fucks the bed? I could do with one."

Katie smirks at him. "The tree is a bed for a bird." Cook laughs more and Katie can't help but smile along. "Fucking uneducated wanker."

Thomas. Group 2. Day 2.

It's dark already. Thomas doesn't notice how the time goes by so quickly on this island. One minute he's waking up from an uncomfortable sleep to help save Emily, the next he's by a fire with a lot more survivors surrounding him. It's strange, really, that all these people can know each other. He knows half of them too. There's Emily, Jal and Michelle are looking over her now, preparing for the proper operation Jal will do tomorrow in the light of day. Thomas prays it will fix her. He has heard Cook and Katie were here, but they've gone looking for Emily in the jungle. There's Naomi and JJ, both in the circle around the fire. Though whilst JJ looks like he's leaning in to be more apart of the conversation, Naomi looks bored. Then his beautiful Pandora, with the little one in her stomach.

"How long has she been pregnant then?" Effy asks from beside Pandora, she's pressing her hand to the stomach lightly. Pandora is looking down excitedly at her stomach bump, she's very proud of it.

"About 32 weeks, I think." Effy raises her eyebrows. "So we need to get off this island before at least 38." Thomas laughs, because it is obviously going to happen. He knows there will be people looking for the lost plane and all of these nice people. They couldn't just leave them there.

"We all do, really." Effy says, taking her hand away from Pandora's stomach to link arms with the girl. "Emily needs proper treatment, Anwar needs to see his family and we all need a good sleep with proper food and drink." Pandora looks up at the mention of food.

"Yeah, I'm always whizzer hungry. My belly grumbles and burps bonkers mad."

"Right guys, I'm sorry," Tony calls, clapping his hands for attention. "But I'm fucking shattered from all that walking. Thank you Eff and team for the food and drink. Night everyone." Effy stands and walks to hug her brother.

"I never knew Effy was Tony's sister, Panda." Thomas remarks as he looks away from their embrace. "It came as rather a surprise."

"Oh really, Tomo? I think they look fantastically alike, I do. It's bonkers, they have the same eyes and ears and nose and-"

"Well, I didn't really see it. Are you feeling okay, Pandora? Tired?" Thomas reaches for her hand. People are starting to stand and wish goodnight, others are just settling on the ground by the fire. Pandora nods with wide eyes. "Shall we find a nice spot to sleep on the beach?"

Pandora struggles to get to her feet, Thomas steadies her from the ground before standing too. "That'd be whizzer good, but we need to say nighty-night to Eff before, yeah?" She rushes, looking around for the other girl. Thomas can tell Pandora will be inseparable from Effy, he likes that she has good friends. Effy has always been nice to her, even when no one can quite understand what she's saying.

Emily. Group 2. Day 2.

When she opens her eyes the white room is gone and she's surrounded by darkness instead. She feels the sand beneath her fingers and the hard log Michelle had perched under her head. She's back on the beach she thinks just as the pain kicks in again. It's everywhere that she feels the ache, but the real raw sting is based around her stomach. She's still in Tony's big jumper, so she can't see the blood soaked into her top anymore. Emily is more than thankful for that. Michelle's sleeping beside her and the fire that was in the middle of the beach is now gone.

She's been on this side of the island for half the day now, and she already knows all the names of people, though she's only met a few new people when they came to speak to Michelle. Effy had come to her when she had woken up a couple of hours ago and she'd told Emily what she needed to know. Katie and Cook had gone looking for her in the jungle but she'd been told they were ordered back by tomorrow if they couldn't find her, so she was waiting for that. Naomi was apparently here too, though she hadn't seen her yet. Emily thinks she's probably avoiding her because of the history between them. Maybe that's best anyway because Emily's heart is struggling to cope with the loss of blood; she doesn't think she could deal with seeing Naomi.

Emily thought it was odd that Thomas, JJ and Pandora were on the island with her. It's even stranger that the whole lot of her old friends from college are here. Except Freddie, but Emily cringes when she thinks of the reason. She looks up at the sound of sand crunching and sees a tall figure standing underneath the moonlight, she turns her head and ignores the pain when she strains to see who it is.

"Naomi?" Emily whispers and it hurts her voice to speak but her heart hurts more at the mention of her name. The person just stands there, and Emily can make out it's a girl. Nothing else yet. She counts a whole twelve seconds before the girl speaks.

"Why are you like this?" Emily's breath hitches at the sound of her voice. She's missed it so much. "I mean, there are so many people that died. But the people that didn't, they're fine. But not you." Naomi shakes her head. "Why aren't you fine?" Her voice sounds weak and hurt.

"Sit down." Emily says as she tries to move her arm. It hurts too much so she gives up.

"It's just unfair, really." The girl doesn't move, and Emily will do anything for her to carry on speaking so she leaves it for now. "Why are you the only one?"

Emily's not sure what that last sentence means, but she guesses Naomi's on about her injuries. Emily laughs, because she's thought this for the past two days. "I don't know." She doesn't like this tension; it's making her feel uncomfortable. "Well, you know me though, I'm all badass. God probably wanted to punish me for-"

"It's not funny." The other girl states with a stern voice. It's just made it more uncomfortable and now Emily feels bad for trying to add any humour into this little exchange in the first place.

There's silence for a while, and Emily tries to think of something clever to say, something that'll make everything all right. But she's at a loss for words. The silence is just becoming more uncomfortable and awkward by the second. Emily doesn't even know if her voice will actually work it's that painful. "I know." She rasps and stares at the shadow of the girl. It's too dark to make out anything about her. Naomi seems just as tall though and from what she can gather from her shaded figure, she looks like she has the same shoulder length hair she did when Emily last saw her.

"You shouldn't be here, Emily. I can't stand you being here." She says and Emily's eyes water at the amount of emotion in the words. "I thought I'd never see you again. Not after you left me two years ago and-"

"Jesus." Emily sighs. "Just sit down."

Naomi shakes her head again and carries on as if Emily hadn't spoken. "It's been two years. Two fucking years, and I had gotten over it, yeah?" Emily breathes out heavily. "I'd gotten over you." Naomi looks away and shrugs. "But now you're back, and you're making me feel these things I thought I'd never feel again. I mean, I feel so safe now that you're here. But so vulnerable, like I know something bad is going to happen. And, I just can't stand it, Emily. I was over you, but now…"

Emily holds her breath. "Now?"

"Fucking Hell." Naomi releases a loud sigh. "This isn't happening." She says before turning to walk away.

"Naoms?" Emily calls and it's the first time she's absolutely hated not being able to move. Naomi's already walked out of the moonlight and her figure isn't even visible anymore. "Naomi?"

It's just back to blackness now. Emily curses silently and then lets out a frustrated. "Fuck."

Michelle turns around and looks at her. "You okay?" She asks as she rubs at the sleep in her eyes.

Emily looks down, swallows and nods. "Yeah, sure. I mean, my stomach still hurts loads but-"

"That's not what I mean." Michelle says and reaches for Emily's hand. Emily looks away from the brunettes gaze. She can't handle this fucking island.

"It was nothing." She shrugs.

"Yeah, well. No story my fucking arse." Michelle sniggers and starts to sit up.

Emily smiles and turns to look at her again. "I suppose I could say she's my Tony, yeah?" She laughs.

Michelle nods, a wide smile spread across her face. "Well," She squeezes Emily's hands. "We're fucked."

Maxxie. Group 2. Day 2

He's in a room full of white wearing a set of hospital clothes. They look hideous on him, and he internally thanks his parents for not letting him get injured and go to the hospital as a child, because they're well uncomfortable as well. He looks around and is surprised to find that the room seems to go on endlessly and effortlessly. It's a boring room though and it makes his head hurt with the boldness of it.

"Weirdest fucking dream I've ever had." Maxxie mutters to himself. His hand looks paler than usual as he holds it out against the white, he also makes a note not to wear white if this is the colour he comes out like.

The room suddenly smells of spliff. "Well, I do like to try."

"Whoa." Maxxie shouts as he turns to face the voice. There's a good-looking tall guy standing behind him, he's wearing the same white clothes. Maxxie hopes he's gay. He looks slightly gay too. His skin is a beautiful light brown, and his hair flops right over his eyes. Maxxie thinks again, how tall the guy is. "Who're you?" He asks but makes sure to leave a good amount of distance. He hopes it isn't a rude dream; they always leave him feeling dirty.

"Frederick." The guy says bluntly. Reaching across his hand. "Nice to meet you, yeah?"

Maxxie takes his hand. "Weird dream, huh?"

"Don't worry. I just came to tell you a few things." Frederick says, but his tone has already started to make Maxxie worried. "You need to listen carefully, okay? You won't understand yet, but I guarantee you will eventually. Got it?" Frederick's voice is one of authority and purpose; Maxxie is slightly scared of him.

Maxxie gulps and nods.

"Right." Frederick nods. "Don't struggle, okay? It's going to happen, and it'll be so much easier if you just let it. Also breathe, just fucking breathe because although it will hurt it will make you less dizzy. Understand so far?" He asks.

Maxxie shakes his head. No.

"Good, you will. It will hurt, but it'll be over soon. I promise you that, okay?" Frederick thinks for a minute. "Oh yeah, and the other guy? Hold his hand, it'll make him feel better and he'll be in a lot more pain than you. Hold his hand, because that guy is special to me. Alright?"

Frederick is looking at Maxxie expectantly, but Maxxie's face has turned a pale white. Camouflaged into the walls and his clothes, he thinks. "Weirdest fucking dream ever." He says and nods to himself.

Frederick is starting to pale out and it seems disappear. "And Maxxie?" Maxxie nods. Frederick has the saddest and most sympathetic expression Maxxie has ever seen, and Maxxie gets chills out of the fear all over again. "I'm sorry, mate. I'm so fucking sorry."

When Maxxie blinks Frederick is gone and he's just surrounded with white again. Maxxie swallows hard. A rude dream would have been better than that, he thinks. "Weirdest fucking dream, _ever_."


	6. The Perfect Apathy

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything.**_

_**For those readers who have not watched lost and are worried about it, it doesn't actually matter. What I mainly took from it was the outline story that their plane crashes and so are now stranded on an island. That's basically it. You will probably be confused at some point in each chapter anyway, sorry. Please review and let me know what you think, even if it's only a sentence.  
**__**It takes hours to write; seconds to review.**_

You remember and dwell on all the things you've lost and ignore all the things you haven't. Because your scars are like stars. Yet the night stays perfectly black.  
(Please Find This;_ IWroteThisForYou_)

Cassie. Group 1. Day 3.

The wind is a little heavier this time when she wakes up and she isn't suddenly adjusting to any shouting from Katie. It's different this morning, and Cassie likes it all just the same. She remembers when she used to open her eyes in the morning to the sound of her parents fucking in the next room. Or her little baby brother crying. But that was all before she was sent to the 'loony bin', as her friends called it, and way before she ran off to live in New York and Sid found her. They were the mornings she'd cringe and pick out a meal she wouldn't eat that day.

The sky isn't a lovely pink colour either; it's a light grey. The kind of colour used when you're meant to lightly shade in a picture with a pencil. It's a whole different side of beauty, this dark depressing colour. Sid sniffles next to her and curls into a tighter ball, his glasses are hanging half off his face and are making disturbing indents against his skin. Cassie picks them up and lays them next to his scrunched up hand. He'll find them easily there.

Cassie looks around the beach when she stands, there are sleeping bodies all around the place, imitating the dead ones nearer the plane. There's a blonde girl sitting up by the sea so Cassie immediately starts to head towards her. She starts to recognise her as she becomes closer.

"Wow, Naomi, you're up so early." She says as she takes a seat next to the other blonde. The sea is a dirty blue colour, reflecting off the dark coloured sky. Cassie has no idea what time it could be but she thinks it's so dark because it's really early or it's getting closer to Christmas. But the island probably doesn't have Christmas, most hot places don't, Cassie thinks. There can't be a Christmas without snow.

Naomi shrugs. "Couldn't sleep." Her voice is rougher than usual, wavier. Up and down like the waves crashing before them. Cassie slept quite well actually. She'd been so excited about all the new arrivals yesterday she had used up most of her energy.

"Well, I slept so brilliantly. Like, I don't even know how. It's just…" Cassie smiles and rolls her shoulders back, straining her back. "Just so…wow. I hope our new people did too. They all looked like they totally needed it." Naomi just sniffs and nods. "Especially the red one, she was already sleeping when they arrived. Katie's sister, that one. It's so totally weird how much similar they both look, right?"

Naomi shakes her head. "Not really. They're twins." Her face is dull and her mouth is set in a straight line.

"What's up with you, grumpy pants?" Cassie asks as she nudges her shoulder. "I thought you'd be like, so smiley once Katie left. You two were totally always fighting. She was always at your throat, that's what Sid said, I think. Something about a throat anyway." Sid had moaned about Katie a lot to Cassie, he didn't like arguments. Cassie liked Katie though, so she never agreed with him. "I think you should totally tell me why, Naomi. We're friends now, and all of that stuff, yeah?"

"Right. Friends and stuff." Naomi repeats and Cassie smiles and nods.

"Yeah, totally. I'm so good at making friends." Cassie says. "So are you going to, like, tell me about why you hate her lots?"

The other girl looks out to the waves and sniffs. The air is cold. "I don't hate her as such. She hates me." Cassie raises her eyebrows in confusion, tilting her head to get Naomi to continue. "I broke her sister's heart. Then she left me 'cause she couldn't deal with it. And now Katie hates me. Fucking simple, huh?"

Cassie frowns. "The red one? Emma?"

"Emily." Naomi swallows and cringes as she says the name. Like it hurts her. Cassie tugs on her hand and entwines their fingers. She's always more comforted when someone shows friendliness; Cassie thinks Naomi will be too.

"Wow, that's so crazy." Cassie mutters talking to the ground. Then she raises her head and looks at Naomi. "But why did you break her heart? I mean, Sidney did that to me, and I totally hated it. I mean, I tried to kill myself because love was horrible and mean and so horrible. It was like, mean to do that, Naomi." Cassie purses her lips and stares at Naomi. Naomi looks worse than before and Cassie has to backtrack her words to see what she said to make Naomi's face so sour and upset.

"I didn't mean it." Naomi whispers, wiping at her eyes with her free hand. "It all went wrong, it was a mistake. I just… I fucked up so badly. I didn't, like mean it." Naomi sniffs and releases a silent whimper as her whole body jerks forward. "I would never do it on purpose. I love her."

"You love her?"

Naomi shakes her head and blinks like crazy. "No, did I say that? I didn't…" She sighs. "I meant loved. I loved her. That's what I meant."

Cassie nods and wiggles her fingers between their entwined hands. "Yeah." She looks at Naomi and smiles. "I totally believe you." She lies.

Katie. Group 1. Day 3.

"Emily?" Cook shouts looking left and right as he walks. "Emilio, man?" He yawns and carries on forward.

Katie is slightly behind him, her feet dragging on the floor and her eyes drooping considerably lower than they should. They haven't slept. It was originally Katie that had decided not to, but now she's regretting it. She's knackered and every time she blinks it's a struggle to open her eyes again. The trees all look the same, the bushes all look bushy, and the grass is always green with a tint of sand in. She's not even sure where they've fucking checked.

"Emily?" She rasps out and it ends up quieter than a whisper. "Shit." Cook stops and turns around, his face looks tired, but Katie thinks Cook's used to staying up late and not sleeping at all. Katie, however, always makes sure she gets her beauty sleep.

"Babe, wanna stop for a bit?" He asks, he sounds slightly hopeful. Katie nods and tells herself she's doing it for herself and not for him. "Yeah? Alright then." He drops to the floor in a sudden motion. One minute standing, the next sprawled across the floor. "We'll find her soon, yeah? Before we have to leave today. Just you wait."

Katie wants to believe they will, she wants it more than anything in her life. To find Emily. To know she's safe. But she's not, and Katie has to make sure they don't leave this jungle without her twin sister. Katie's not leaving anywhere until she has Emily with her.

"I'm so fucking tired." Katie sighs and sits to the grass. Her legs feel so good; she could lie here forever if she didn't have a bigger priority. Katie moves up next to Cook and rests her head on his lap. She shouldn't close her eyes; Katie knows she'll fall asleep if she does. Cook sighs and rests his hand against her shoulder. It's comfortable, that's why she lets him, Katie reminds herself. They aren't friends or anything; Katie Fucking Fitch doesn't need friends. Not since they all fucked off and fucked her over. She just needs Emily, not Cook.

"Babe?"

Katie hums in answer, she's too tired to speak. She can feel herself start to drift off and she wants to resist, wants to rip open her eyes and storm onwards. But it feels so good.

"What's Em's top like?" Cook asks. Katie snorts in disgust.

"You better not be having a fucking daydream about stripping my fucki-"

"Nahh." Cook's quick to defend. Katie can feel his lap move as he shakes his head. "I'm just askin', yeah, because there's one over there that looks like it could fit our Ems." He says casually.

It takes a while for it to sink in, what Cook has actually said, but Katie shoots up as soon as it does. "What? Where?" She looks around urgently and Cook is already up and pointing to a piece of red material off by some tree. Katie knows Emily wasn't wearing red when they were on the plane, so she relaxes a little. It's a strange place to leave a top though, and it's only them in this jungle. Cook and Katie are the only ones that have entered the jungle, so she walks over for a closer inspection.

"No, thank fucking God. It's a hideous red anyway. Emily wouldn't wear it, it'd clash with her hair and I taught her what colours she could wear. Red isn't one." She nods and follows Cook's lead towards the top. "Red isn't one of them, thank fucki-"

"It's not red." Cook states and Katie's heart stops. He turns with the top between his forefinger and thump, like it's a diseased ridden object. "Babe, it's blood."

Katie feels her knees hit the floor before actually recalling falling. The top is a shade lighter than yellow and darker than white. It has a little crab symbol in the corner, from the sushi shop Katie always goes to. Her fingers reach out for the top and Cook immediately complies. It fucking smells like Emily. Shit, _shit_.

"Katie, what's wrong?" Cook's kneeling next to her, leaning close. "What's goin' on?"

"It's Em's." Katie manages to squeak out. "It's fucking Emily's." She holds it close to her chest and breathes in the scent. The blood is dry which means it could've been here for ages. She feels an arm snake around her back and she instantly leans into it and curls around Cook's body. Her face is hidden under his arm against his chest.

"S'alright, babe. She just cut herself, yeah? It'll be fine. Okay? We'll find her." He's saying against her hair. Katie sniffles and nods along to what he's saying; her eyes are producing more tears by the second. She's not listening though, Katie's too busy thinking of where Emily could have gone. She needs to find Emily. The top indicates extremely bad bleeding. Bleeding from Emily's body. She's in danger, and Katie will find her.

"We're not leaving, Cook. We can't go back until we find her. Yeah?" She tells him as she sits up, wiping her eyes and hugging the top.

Cook nods, though his eyes show apprehension. "Yeah." He replies. "Yeah, okay."

Michelle. Group 2. Day 3.

The wind is heavier than usual, and Michelle doesn't like it. Her hair is swaying gently into her face and prying into her eyes. She'd pull her hair away but it'd just fly back into her as soon as she let it go. It's her parent's fucking fault, her mother for having such thick hair and her father for having curly hair. Now she's stuck with a mop of frizzy strands slamming into her face. She's watching Jal look through the medical kit from across the beach.

The operation starts today, Michelle's not allowed to help though. Jal tested most people yesterday and Michelle was one of plenty that had shaky hands when it came down to business. She couldn't help the nerves. So now Jal was starting on Emily with Thomas and Sid of all fucking people. Jal's just sexist, probably doesn't think the other girls would be able to deal with it. Though Michelle had watched Pandora and Cassie shake the whole way through Jal's test. All they had to do was keep their hand straight for Christ sake. Fucking idiots. Effy and Naomi had refused to be tested, Michelle had gotten angry at this. They should be doing anything to help Emily right now.

Thomas is pouring a bottle of water over his hands while Jal is sorting out a string and a needle. Emily needs stitches to stop the bleeding, that's what Jal has told Michelle. They have to be quick though; the sun rises late and drops early on this island. It's already past mid-day.

"What's up, Nips?" Michelle reluctantly drags her eyes away from Emily to face the voice. Tony is looking down at her with a half smile on his face. Fucking smug git, Michelle can't be bothered with his teasing at the minute, not whilst Emily is minutes away from being cut open and fixed.

"Fuck off, Tony. I'm not in the mood." She hisses and turns back to the makeshift operating table, made up of two big stones pushed together. It's quite clever, Michelle thinks.

"Whoa," She can see Tony raise his hands in mock surrender out of the corner of her eye. "I'm being genuine. You're about to chew your lip off."

Michelle pushes her hair out of her face again and shrugs. "I'm worried about Emily, is all." Sid's rubbing his hands together now and is listening to something Jal is telling the boys. Instructions, probably. Maybe precautions.

"Ahh," Tony nods. "Your glue."

"What?"

"You're always together, aren't you? She's your new Jal." He explains and it hurts a little that he's comparing Jal and Emily. They're too different. She used to be best friends with Jal, but that was four fucking years ago. They went to university and grew apart, like her mum said everyone would. There's pang of regret in her gut and she has the sudden urge to walk up to Jal and hug her. But that's not their relationship anymore, and Emily should be everyone's priority at the minute.

"Whatever." Michelle says and watches Jal produce a knife from the medical box next to Emily on the table. She's pointing at the knife and then the needle, her mouth moving along with her actions. Michelle wishes she could help, if only just be there to offer encouragement.

"I could've helped, you know?" Tony gestures towards the operating table already in her eye line.

Michelle shakes her head and looks pointedly at Tony before looking back to the three operators, now all looking down at Emily's stomach. Maybe they've started. "No you couldn't. Jal chose everyone that could do it to help. If you're not helping now, you didn't pass. Fucking simple."

"No, actually." Tony shakes his head and nudges her shoulder. "Jal said I was too good. I'd put her to shame wouldn't I?" Michelle can see his smile, but she's still too worried for Emily to copy him. "I'm just bloody brilliant."

Michelle snorts. "You're arrogance still surprises me."

She can feel his intense gaze looking down at her. "Well, Nips, when you're this good, what can you do, right?"

Michelle can't help but laugh. She doesn't even know whether to take him seriously or not, she wouldn't be surprised if he actually meant the words coming out of his mouth. Tony's always been an arrogant fucker, all through college. When she looks up, he's staring down at her with a smile on his face. His eyes are soft.

"You have a lovely smile, Chelle." He nods to himself and watches her for a moment longer before walking away. His feet crunch loudly into the sand, releasing a horrible sound.

"Thanks." Michelle whispers to herself and this time has to drag her eyes away from him. She's falling for the Tony Stonem charm all over again, and she knows it. She's never been able to resist it. When she looks back at the operation the first thing that catches her eye is blood.

Effy. Group 1. Day 3.

JJ's fidgeting beside her, his fingers flitting around each other as he breathes in steadily. Effy can't stand to watch JJ sometimes, he has a way of making people feel awkward and out of place. She hasn't been used to him for two years, it's a surprise to be pushed back together in such intense circumstances. She has to look away to where Naomi is pouring a tin of something onto a metal bar over the fire. The food supply on the plane will run out eventually, but they have at least enough for two meals a day for a week.

"What is it?" Effy finally asks politely towards JJ when he releases another sigh. "Why are you so agitated?"

"No," JJ shakes his head, his fingers stopping against each other for the while. "No, nothing. It's just… Well, you said that Cook and Katie would be back today, and technically the afternoon is going by and turning into the evening. So, I'm a little worried about where they are, or what's happening. That's it. I mean, that's one of the only reasons. Though being on this island and being hungry and tired and home sick and a little lonely obviously adds some percentage on to why I'm so agitated." JJ looks away from Effy to the fire and the food. "But, like I said, the main reason is the Katie and Cook thing."

Effy looks around for help, Naomi is looking expectantly at her to answer the question. Pandora's making sandcastles down near the sea with Cassie, and Thomas is finishing up the operation on Emily. Look's like she's all alone. Truth be told, Effy has been thinking about where Katie and Cook are, but she figured they'd just turn up eventually.

"Well," Effy shrugs, "if they're not back by tomorrow, we'll send some people out to look for them. Yeah? I mean, they're probably just held back in the forest a bit. I haven't been in there yet but I can imagine it's huge-"

"Yes, it's very big." JJ nods.

"They'll be on their way, yeah? We'll send a bit of help if they're not back by the morning and then everything will be fine." Effy smiles at him, she's rather proud at how she managed that. It's almost like explaining something to a child.

"Yeah." He seems happy with this solution and Naomi has turned back to the food. "Well, I think that's a good idea. And I would like to be on the search party tomorrow, I think. I've been in the forest before, and I think I know it quite good now." JJ looks towards the trees. "I'd like to see Cook too, I won't be so lonely when he's here. I'm quite excited for it actually."

"Good." Effy runs her hands through the sand and feels the hot grains burn her skin. It's nice, a kind of release in some way. "I'm sure he'll be excited too."

Jal. Group 2. Day 3.

She watches as the blood meets water and they mingle together before the red blood floats away and turns onto the colour of the dark sea. They're both horribly stark colours, blood red and mouldy blue-black. Jal used to like the colour red, but after her time in the hospital she's learnt it's not such a nice colour after all. Red is for warning, danger, anger. She doesn't know why she ever liked it in the first place now.

Emily's hair is red though and Jal found it impossibly hard to stop her eyes from straying over to it. She's so used to panicking when there's any sign of red in an operation, her heart sped up a little more every time she glanced at it. In Emily's case, however, Jal had to expose a lot of blood before she could stitch it up. The wounds had to be cleaned of all the mud and sand and horrible diseased latching onto the open flesh.

"How'd it go?" A hesitant voice asks behind her. Jal takes her hands out of the sea and shakes them dry. When she turns around she's met with icy blue eyes and a pale face. Jal's seen the girl around the beach but hasn't properly met her yet. "Is Emily okay now?"

Jal smiles reassuringly at her and nods her head a little. "Well, I think it went okay for the moment. I repaired her wounds and tried to clean the cuts, but I really can't say how much it helped yet. We'll just have to wait it out, I think." Emily had already lost so much blood; there was no way she could've properly fixed her. Jal can't say it allowed but she's secretly pessimistic about the operation. "I'm sorry, I don't know your-"

"Naomi." The girl says and stretches out her hand. Jal takes it gratefully and lets her hand be dropped immediately after. "So, what? She's okay now?"

Jal looks over to where Pandora and Michelle are standing over Emily on the table. She thinks Emily will have woken up now. Jal winces at the pain Emily is bound to feel. It'll be horrendous. "Well, Naomi, she's right over there. I think she's awake. Or about to be, anyway."

Naomi looks behind her and stays with her head turned for at least ten seconds before looking back with a sad face. "No, I think I'll leave her with the others. I don't really know her anymore anyway." She says as she looks to the sand, then back up into Jal's eyes. Jal can feel the pain transmitting from the blonde girl. "So, you fixed her then? She's safe?"

Jal swallows. She can't tell Naomi that Emily still stands a small chance of surviving past a couple of days, not when she's looking so sad and broken already, Jal would never have the heart to kick someone when they're already down. So she nods and cringes at the lie.

The girl in front literally deflates with relief. She closes her eyes and releases a heavy breath. "Oh, thank God." She looks up. "No, thank you." Naomi steps forward and squeezes Jal into a tight hug. Jal wants to cry at how false this moment will be once all becomes clear that not everything will be alright.

She hugs Naomi tighter and hopes to God that they're off this island in time to save Emily.

Anwar. Group 1. Day 3.

He's lying on his back looking up at the moon. He wonders if his wife and children can see the same moon back in England, if they're wondering the same thing. Anwar twists the ring round his finger with his thumb, the metal feels cold against his skin, but it burns him anyway.

"I was going to a dance audition. Broadway, you know?" Maxxie says next to him, their heads are inches away. "Me agent said I had a brilliant chance as well. Probably already given it to some energetic gay fucker now." Anwar can see in the corner of his eye as Maxxie picks up a handful of sand and sprinkles it out over a bunching pile next to him, and then he starts all over again and picks up another handful.

"I was only going a conference." Anwar shrugs and suddenly thinks that if he didn't turn up, would he still get paid? They'd been low on money and this had been his last chance to get a raise. "The kids had begged me not to go. Rodger had gone crazy-"

"You have kids?" Maxxie asks with surprise and sits up straight. His eyes are black from the dark night. "I didn't think you… Well, you just hadn't mentioned them. I never suspected it."

Anwar sits up so he's level with Maxxie. "Yeah, two of them. Rodger and Catherine. Right little monkeys. They fuck around whenever possible. My wife always says-"

"You're married?" Maxxie frowns and looks out to the sea. He looks angry and Anwar doesn't quite understand, he thought he'd be happy for him. "Oh."

"What?" Anwar asks, pulling Maxxie's shoulder back so he can look at him. "What's all this?" Anwar gestures to Maxxie's face and body, his sudden annoyed posture.

Maxxie shakes his head and pushes against Anwar's hand to face the sea again. "No, nothing." His voice is low and dull. It's completely changed. "I'm happy for you, mate. So, you know." He shrugs. "It's nothing."

"No, Maxx. It's not nothing. What?" Anwar is starting to get annoyed now. He doesn't understand why things have just changed out of nowhere. "You don't want me to be happy?" He jokes, but Maxxie turns to him with a serious expression. The joke turns sour.

"Anwar, we're best mates. It's just," Maxxie hesitates, looks to the sky and back to the sand before looking at Anwar. "If something big happened to me, like marriage or something. Stuff like that. I'd tell you." Anwar still doesn't really understand. "You didn't even invite me to your wedding, man. We're best mates."

"We were best friends, Maxxie." Anwar says guiltily, tilting his head to the left. "Were. Four fucking years ago." Maxxie has such a hurt expression that Anwar's getting annoyed. To Maxxie everything's so simple, Anwar knows differently. "Then you got all loved up with that guy and caught up with university and, and you just watched me leave. You had no time for me, and I wasn't part of that university life you loved so much."

"No, you decided to leave." Maxxie replies. "You didn't like my life, my uni, my friends. You decided-"

"Yeah, well you let me go. Maxx, I was becoming a burden on you and… Whatever." Anwar shrugs and looks away, biting the inside of his lung to stop from shouting and getting annoyed. "We were best friends for two years, Maxxie. Then we weren't for another two, so I didn't think it mattered that I didn't invite you to the wedding. We weren't friends."

Maxxie looks down at the sand and threads it through his fingers again. It seems like a calming method. "I thought we were friends for life."

Anwar looks away. He's being stubborn, but he's pissed Maxxie isn't happy for him. Anwar is happy with his wife and children, he just wanted Maxxie to share his joy, not criticize it.

"Right then." Maxxie mutters as he stands up and looks down at Anwar. "Well, I guess I may as well help search for those lost people in the jungle tomorrow with Jay, then. I'm not wanted here, obviously." Anwar hears footsteps heading away from him.

"Wait, Maxx." Anwar call, standing up. "Maxxie, I didn't mean it like that." He kicks the sand under his feet when Maxxie carries on walking. The boy's already gone when he looks up from the sand he just kicked.

Cook. Group 1. Day 3.

Katie looks fucking hot under the moonlight and he can't keep his eyes off her. "Fucks sake." He shakes his head of the thought and passes the empty bottle of vodka back to her. He laughs when she shakes it into her mouth and only receives a drop. He'd only drank half of it though, so she couldn't have a go too much.

"You fucking finished it, yeah?" She slurs, her voice sounding like a roller coaster going up and down. "You're going to be bloody wasted now, stupid idiot." She giggles when he stands up and wobbles. He attempts to shrug to show he doesn't really care. Katie pulls on his leg so she can stand too. "Whoa, holy fuck. I'm well dizzy, yeah?"

Cook nods and grabs hold of her arms. "Yeah babe, you're shaky and every'fink." Her eyes are shiny and chocolate brown in this shade, she's beautiful. But Cook only thinks girls are fit, so maybe that's what he means. "Want to lean against a tree, darlin'? Steady yourself and shit."

Katie narrows her eyes and looks confused for a minute. "Yeah, 'cause I'm gunna fucking fall in a minute."

"You're well drunk, babe."

"You too." She laughs as he backs her against the tree. Her body instantly relaxes once she can lean against something. "Thanks, James. S'nice of ya'." She drags the 's' on and on like a snake would hiss in the grass. Fucking freaky. Or sexy.

"Yeah." He nods and leans in to meet her lips. At first he doesn't realise what he's doing, and neither does Katie. So she goes along with the kiss, opening her mouth for his tongue. It's fucking sloppy, like all of Cook's kisses. Though, he thinks, Katie's just as experienced as he is. Bloody slag.

He thinks it's nice as he bites at her lip and pushes into her harder. It's the alcohol though, because Cook's Katie's friend. Maybe he's offering comfort because she's going through a hard time. That's all it is.

"We're so fucked." She murmurs against his mouth and he swears she's talking about the alcohol and being drunk. His hands eventually find her chest. 'Cause Katie has ace tits and the Cookie Monster always gets to the boobs. Katie lets him to begin with, because they're drunk and getting ahead of themselves. It isn't until Cook moans against her tongue that she realises what exactly is going on.

She pushes him off immediately and looks over his face. "Fuck." She shakes her head. "What was that?"

Cook's ready to bail, like he does in these situations. His head is dizzy and his lips are swollen. "I gotta piss." He says as he stumbles away, blinking back into the real world when he just wants to enter that Katie haze again.

He finds a nice spot behind a tree and he's about to unzip his flies, because Cook could actually do with emptying his bladder, alcohol always makes him need loads of pisses, when he hears a snapping sound just in front. He looks up to see a tall guy, he's shadowed by the trees, but Cook could spot him out any day.

"Fuck, I know 'am drunk, Freds, but you do come at awkward times. Dun't you, mate?" Cook laughs and stumbles over to Freddie.

"Cook, you need to go back." Freddie says, and Cook suddenly stops at the sudden tone. He's seen Freddie a few times, only when he's drunk, and he never talks. They're always just like memories of him replaying over and over in his head.

Cook nods. "I know, man. I told Katie that, but she wants to stay until she finds-"

"No." Freddie shakes his head. "You're not listening, Cook. You need to go back."

Cook shrugs, his eyebrows turning down. "Yeah, I fucking heard that, din't I?" He says and walks closer. "I said we were gunna, but Katie-"

"Well, that's not what I mean. You need to go back, and you need to remember this. Go back, Cook. There's no other way."

Cook decides to indulge Freddie a little, play a long with his game. "Alright Freds, I'll go back for ya'. What about Katie? She need to go back too?"

Freddie shakes his head and crosses his arms. "She won't need to, she's not gunna have the choice." Freddie tilts his head at Cook's confusion still. "When the first drop falls, you're going to have to decide, okay?"

"What the fuck, mate?" Cook's swaying in the cold, his head's full of alcohol and he's not even sure if this is a hallucination.

"Just," Freddie looks at him sternly. "Promise me you'll go back. Do what they say, okay? Remember this when you feel the first drop."

"Whatever, mate. I need a piss. Wanna' watch or summut?" Cook has to look down to see what he's doing. It's so dark and the vodka's making him shaky. When his flies are undone he looks up to see an empty space in front of him. Freddie's gone.

"What the fuck?" He whispers and doesn't need a piss anymore.


	7. The Last Place We Saw Them

**_Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything._**

**_It takes hours to write; seconds to review._**

Gasping for air and sanity. Moon and stars and clouds and night. Out of breath and breathless. Pillows and sheets and blankets and you. I will drown in this bed. They say it's just like going to sleep.  
(Please Find This; _IWroteThisForYou_)

Naomi. Group 1. Day 4.

She remembers being young and naïve and fucking blinded by love. It was the best feeling in the world. Being able to share everything with this one special person, the completeness she felt when she could just see her. It never mattered whether she was the opposite side of the classroom or lying right beside her in bed. Just knowing she was there made Naomi smile sickly sweet and her heart ready to thump through her ribs. Naomi misses it, the feeling of being whole and wanted and fucking happy. She hasn't felt anything like it in forever.

Though, Naomi winces at the thought, it was the most scariest feeling she's ever felt. She remembers looking into the brown orbs and finding herself completely lost. She wasn't used to relying on people and when she fell in love, that's all she could do. There was just this constant _need_. She'd wake up to her body throbbing with need to just be close. To just hear the husky voice. Naomi hated the way it made her feel just as much as she loved it. The girl would always have a greater power over Naomi than anyone else. Naomi couldn't think straight when she was around.

And now the person that made her feel so much is here. Right in front of her with the same red hair and button nose and sexy rough voice and deep brown eyes. Naomi can't let herself fall into the trap again, but every time she's near Emily she can feel the wholeness and fear creep back. She can't allow the fright to win again. All hell broke loose last time Naomi gave into the fear. She'd ended up breaking a heart she was never meant to have.

Naomi can't help herself when she reaches across to her cheek. Emily looks so peaceful in her sleep and Naomi remembers lying in bed staring down at her and feeling _so_ fucking lucky. It's the kind of moment when she wonders why she ever hated the feeling of love. It's just as soft as she remembers, warm and smooth. Naomi could stroke it all day, she thinks as she brushes the red hair behind her ear and allows her thumb to travel along the length of her ear. She has to remind herself not to get carried away. Has to remember she broke Emily's heart and doesn't deserve to take what she wants, to run her hands along Emily's jaw and feel the narrow bone, or her neck and feel the muscles move as she swallows, and definitely not Emily's lips and how soft and plump and bloody…

"Naomi?" Naomi looks up at the husky voice, her eyes closing instantaneously at the sound. "What are you doing?"

Naomi stutters a bit and looks up to meet Emily's eyes. She drags her hand back and drops it to her side. Naomi coughs. "Well, I was just, you know? Checking your cuts and stitches and what not. Making sure they're alright."

Emily smiles knowingly and nods her head. "Okay. And?"

"What?" Naomi asks guiltily, her hand burns as it sways against the sand. She regrets ever deciding to come and kneel by Emily. Her sleeping face drew her in, and once she'd seen a small smile tug on the sleeping girl's lips she was dragged back to college.

"What's the verdict then?" Emily asks suspiciously. "You said you were checking my cuts. So, what's the verdict?"

Naomi coughs and looks over at the cuts along the side of Emily's face. "Well, they look and," she looks to the floor with blushing cheeks, "and _feel_, much better. But, they're obviously not on me, so I'll have to hold my judgement for your word."

Emily laughs at Naomi's raised eyebrow. Her laugh is throaty and lovely. "Yeah," she nods. "They feel so much better. I think Jal did good." Emily sits straighter and it makes Naomi sigh with a new level of relief that Emily can now do that. Yesterday she'd had to be taken to the toilet by Michelle. She'd had to be fed, by Michelle. Emily could only lie down, and Michelle had to do everything. Not that Naomi was watching or anything, and Naomi would deny feeling any jealousy towards Michelle. Though both statements would be a lie.

"I'm a little worried though. That they look horrible and mushy and bloody. I can't imagine they look attractive." Emily's hand is skimming across the cuts, her eyes narrowing. Naomi feels her heart constrict as Emily winces.

"You look beautiful." Naomi says before running it through her head. Emily looks up immediately with shocked eyes. "I…" Naomi shakes her head and looks away. "I mean, fine. They look fine."

Emily's staring at Naomi and it's a rather fucking awkward moment. Naomi spots the others hanging by the trees and suddenly remembers what's going on. It'd be a suitable topic shift and tension releaser. "Katie and Cook are lost in the jungle." She begins and watches as Emily's face suddenly turns panicky. "JJ and Maxxie are going searching for them this morning. They have orders to be back by tonight though." Naomi shrugs and watches the group talking, she can see JJ hugging Pandora. "Can't have two sets of people lost in the tree's, right?"

Emily is trying to strain her neck to see the others by the trees. Her eyes widen and she turns back around with her hand pushing at her throat. "You okay?" Naomi asks quickly as she pulls Emily's hand away to see blood dripping down her neck. "Jesus. Shit."

"It's okay, Naomi. The stitches just opened a little. I'm fine, honestly." Her hand joins Naomi's at her throat. The touch burns and Naomi's breath catches. She pulls her hand away so quickly Emily looks worried. Naomi clenches her hands tight and looks away. "So, they should all be back tonight then?"

"Yeah." Naomi squeaks out and has to clear her throat. "Yes." Naomi nods and looks back to Emily, their eyes meet and none of them have the power or will to drag them away. Naomi can feel her heart start to beat faster than her heavy heart. Her hands are getting sweaty and she has to bite her lip to stop a strangled whimper escape. She's getting lost in Emily's eyes and she feels the fear and the happiness and she just feels _home_.

"Naomi…" Emily whispers and tilts her head. Naomi closes her eyes at the voice. Shakes her head and comes back to reality. Fucking breathe.

"Anyway." Naomi coughs. "I should probably go say bye to the boys. Wish them luck at finding them and that. So…" She purses her lips and rubs her hands across her face. When she stands her legs feel heavy and it's a struggle to move her feet.

"Okay." She hears Emily rasp out and it's almost enough to make Naomi stay. But then she feels that spark of fear and she carries on quickly towards the trees.

JJ. Group 2. Day 4.

It feels odd walking through the forest again. He didn't think he'd have to come back to the trees and bushes and dark shadows. It'll be worth it though, JJ thinks, because he's going to be able to see Cook soon. That's enough to make him stride ahead and crunch on the same sticks lying lazily on the floor.

"Why did you want to come, then?" JJ asks as he turns to look at Maxxie. They've been travelling for at least half an hour and they've barely said five words to each other. "Not that I didn't want you too. Because I do. Not like, you specifically. I don't have a creepy obsession, I just wanted someone else to come as well. I'm happy it is you though. Because you've already been through the trees. It's just, you don't know Katie or Cook. All your friends are at the beach. So, I was just wondering why you decided to come." JJ adds and then thinks for a minute. "In a nice way."

Maxxie looks a little confused and shit, _shit_, JJ thinks he's done it again. Got locked on and rambled and bloody made a fool of himself. He hates it when that happens. He's humiliated himself again. JJ wants to apologise, but Maxxie is already opening his mouth to answer the question.

"I don't really know." Maxxie shrugs. "I suppose I had a fight with my mate and instead of getting angry I decided to do something helpful." Maxxie looks to the floor with a sad frown. "Maybe I was trying to punish Anwar though, 'cause I wanted him to feel left out. Dunno. But I'll make friends with him when we get back. We're best friends for life, and that means we'll make up soon. Just a little argument."

JJ understands this. His best friends always used to fight and then make up straight after. He got annoyed all the time, he didn't understand why they felt the need to deliberately undermine each other and then go after the same girls. It was just inevitable and boring after a while. JJ thinks it got to a point where he didn't care about any of them. But they're best friends, so JJ will always care.

"I'm best friends with Cook." JJ nods and smiles to himself. "That's why I'm going to look for them. Because we're best friends." Maxxie looks at him and smiles. He seems genuinely interested and JJ feels special for that minute. No one is ever interested in JJ, he's just a rambling odd fool that makes things awkward and complicated. "There was three of us, but technically the other is dead, so we shouldn't count him. It's not really possible to be friends with a dead person, hard to communicate, you know? But I still count him. We're the three musketeers, it'd be awfully silly to only have two."

"Absolutely." Maxxie nods and laughs. "Musketeers _have_ to be in a three."

JJ agrees. Though once Freddie was dead and Cook was in prison, JJ felt like the only Musketeer left and decided the name was just childish if he had no one to share it with. Cook always said that it was just them two that were the Musketeers when he would fight with Freddie, but JJ insisted that he was wrong; there could only ever be three in a Musketeer group. And Freddie, Cook and JJ always came as a trio. _Always._

They both walk for a couple of minutes in silence, concentrating on moving their feet in time with the other. None of them want to lag behind. JJ likes it when he's with someone that doesn't have to talk to fill the silences. Maxxie seems to like the silence too. Freddie was always like that. Not Cook though, he liked to talk about his conquests and best shag and worst fuck and he'd blab on about anything to make himself sound great. It's fine both ways, really. JJ just likes it when he doesn't feel the need to join in and then end up locking on.

"Effy says we need to be back by nightfall, so we need to be quick, yeah?" Maxxie says, a little out of breath. "We should pick up the pace if we want to find them." He suddenly starts to march faster and JJ breathes out and tries to catch up.

JJ's slow at everything, so he finds it no surprise he's a slow walker. He's doing more of a jog at Maxxie's side and his cheeks are turning red with exhaustion. JJ had heard that Maxxie was a dancer, so it's kind of expected that he's fast with his feet and fit enough not to get out of breath at the slightest move. JJ, however, isn't very energetic and in shape, so it's not long before he's on the floor face down.

"Oh, shitification." He cries and tries to pull himself up. JJ stops himself suddenly as he hears a strange ripping sound, like a door creaking horribly in the wind. "Wait, can you hear that?" He asks and looks around for the source of the sound.

"No." Maxxie's looking around and trying to follow JJ's eyes. "Hear what? Where?"

JJ shakes his head. "I don't know. It's almost like…" He stops and suddenly looks around with fear. "It's like…"

Maxxie is looking at him with panic and expectation. "Like what, JJ?"

JJ's still kneeling and he's turning his head rapidly. His mind is caught on something else and JJ can only attend to one task at a time. "I think a tree is falling." He says, still searching each trunk.

Maxxie's eyes are wide and he's turning around in a circle quickly. "Which one? JJ, which one?"

"I don't know. I'm looking. Technically I could be wrong; I've only heard about three trees fall in my entire life. One was when Cook climbed up-"

"JJ, look. We need to know which one is falling." There's serious panic in his voice and JJ suddenly understands the urgency of the situation. He scans each tree separately until his eyes lands on a large trunk swaying in the wind. It's leaning heavily towards them.

"That one!" JJ points and Maxxie quickly follows his finger. "I think it could possibly be that one. Yes, it is. Look it's coming down-"

"Shit. Get up. Get up, JJ. It's coming down." Maxxie tugs on JJ's arm, but he's too heavy and JJ's losing balance. "Get up, it's gunna fall on us." JJ's hands are sweaty, he's getting nervous and scared, and Maxxie can't grab a tight grip. JJ's up eventually, but the tree is leaning further and a loud snap fills the air.

It's too late, they both know it as they stare at each other and start to run. JJ isn't energetic and in shape though, and he always knew it would be his downfall. The tree hits the ground just as their legs do and JJ blanks out.

Katie. Group 1. Day 4

"Fuck. D'ya hear that?" Cook yells, looking around with his mouth agape. Katie winces from his voice, any noise is just adding to her headache. She knew she shouldn't have drank any of the vodka last night, her hangover feels like someone just decided to whack her in the head with a fucking hammer.

"Unless it was the banging inside my fucking head, or anything to do with my sister, then I don't give a crap." She hisses and places her hand against her forehead. It doesn't help though, her hand is warm too. She just needs to cool down.

"It sounded like something was falling or summut'." He shrugs and carries on walking. "Coming, babe?" He asks as he turns.

"I 'ain't your fucking babe, and yes. I am coming, Cook. At my own fucking pace, if that's bloody alright with you." Katie marches forward and walks ahead of Cook's standing body. It's been weird between them since last night. But it's been weird, because it hasn't been weird. She thought it would be different, more awkward. But it's like it never happened in the first place, so it's weird in that way.

"Alright. Soz, darlin'." Cook sniggers and turns to start walking with Katie. "So, when we goin' back? We're gunna run out of food and drink soon." He says and Katie suddenly feels angry. Cook knows why they're out here, and Katie doesn't understand why he doesn't feel the compulsive need to find Emily.

"Fuckin'," She stops and turns around with a killer frown. "No, I won't have this, Cook. You know why we're out here, and you know that Emily is hurt and in trouble. So don't act like filling your fat stomach will help anything, 'cause you're not the most important person in the fucking world, Cook. And your belly is the last bloody thing on my mind, got it?"

Cook's raising his eyebrows mischievously at her and it makes Katie feel a little sicker than she already is. "You're well sexy when you're angry, babe." He says and has time to let out a little giggle before Katie's hand collides with his arm with speed. "Ahh, fuck. Sorry for givin' the complement then." He shrugs off the pain and carries on moving behind Katie's already walking body.

Usually Katie would appreciate the compliment, been a little flattered and played along with the flirting. But Katie's stuck with Cook until they find Emily, and she doesn't want to give him another reason to stick his wet tongue down her throat again. She heaves at the thought. It's not that it was bad yesterday, because Cook's a good kisser. It's expected really, after the man slag he was in college. It's just that Katie actually likes Cook, she may not show it, but she doesn't show she likes anyone. She doesn't want it to be awkward around him.

"Jesus, got a pace on you today, love." He sighs and she can hear his breath is heavy and rushed.

"Yeah well, try to keep up, yeah? Just 'cause you're a slow fucker, doesn't mean I have to be too." She snipes, and Katie hears Cook's breathy laugh. She can almost see his hands on his stomach and his arched back to go along with it.

Sid. Group 1. Day 4.

Effy bends down with her hand outstretched once he's shook out the contents. The bag is navy blue with thick shoulder pads on the strap. Sid's original thought was that it was a little boring, probably belonging to a smart arse guy in his late twenties. Though he always shakes his head whenever he pictures someone wearing the bags. It makes them strangely more personal and he feels dirty all over again. He can't help it though; the images fly through his brain before he can stop them.

"A homemade sandwich, a bottle of water and a packet of salt and vinegar crisps." She throws each of them to the pile of food. "And of course, another phone with no signal and no battery." Effy stands up and looks to the bag closest to them. "Come on then, Sid."

He moves to pick up another bag. He hates this job. Fucking hates it and can't even put it into words. It makes him feel sick and horrible and completely inhuman. Someone has to do it, he knows, and the others refuse to have anything to do with the bodies or their belongings. They're happy to eat their food and swig their drinks though, so that's fucking fantastic.

"So, Eff, you seriously think rescue is coming then? 'Cause they're leaving it a little late." Sid says as he empties a red rucksack onto the floor. Dust rises as the objects smack down against the sand.

Effy leans and looks through it, her eyes skimming over the objects in the pile. "Yeah, sure they are." She shrugs. "They can't exactly cover up a plane, can they? Plus, look at all these dead bodies, they're going to have families, aren't they?"

"S'pose." Sid doesn't actually look towards the bodies. He's seen them enough, thank you. They're disgusting and just lying there, it's not like they can do anything with them though. It seems disrespectful to even go near them, let alone lay a finger on their pale skin. Besides, Sid's already going through their things, he's already crossed the line of sensitivity. "Just, surely they should send a plane the same way we came and just look over to see where we could have fell, right? They should have found us already."

Effy's throwing things towards the pile and standing back up. "It's only been four days, Sid." She says and shrugs. Sid moves to the next bag.

"Well, tell that to the others." The bag is black and rather bold against the dirty yellow of the sand. "Cassie thinks we're staying here. She's asked me several times when we're going to build huts." Effy laughs and suddenly stops as she kneels to rifle through the contents of the most recent bag.

"Hold on, is this a…" Effy's holding something metal and shiny. It glints off the sun. "It's a fucking gun."

Sid drops the bag and immediately reaches for the object in Effy's hand. Not that Sid would have any experience with guns, but he's seen them being used on television programs and knows enough about them to be able to confirm if it is. Effy drops it into his hand, and sure enough it's a gun.

"How'd that get on board?" Effy asks as she stares down at it in Sid's hands.

"Dunno, but there are those air-police people on board sometimes, right? Like an air-marshal or something. Could be that." He shrugs and holds the bottom of it tightly. Sid doesn't know enough about them to be able to tell whether it's ready to go off or not, and Sid doesn't want to kill another survivor.

Effy turns to look at the others, it's starting to get dark and there's already a fire going. "Dad taught Tony to use a gun once, he might know what to do."

"Your dad had guns?" Sid asks, shocked. Because Sid remembers Mr Stonem and he doesn't seem like the guy to shoot or harm anything.

She smiles and tilts her head. It's not a shake but not a nod. "Well, he was going through his tough stage. He wanted to be down with the kids or something." She laughs a little and then looks to the floor sadly. Sid doesn't know what happened to the Stonem parents, but he remembers Tony once ringing them in the first year of university and saying something about a divorce.

"Well," Sid and Effy start walking to the others. "Best go check how to turn this thing off."

"Sid," Effy laughs, "I don't think there's an on and off button to a gun."

Maxxie. Group 2. Day 4.

He wakes with a start, his head lurching forward and hitting back against the floor with a hard thump. He gulps out for air in quick, heavy breaths. His eyelids are heavy. That's when he feels it. The rush of blood and hurt crashing through his body until he's pulsing with throbbing pain. "Fuck," Maxxie breathes. But it's more than that; it hurts so bad it's unbelievable.

When he opens his eyes he finds he's staring up at the sky, his head can only just lean up to see the huge trunk crushing his body. There's blood surrounding him and he lets out a cry and feels the tears roll down his cheeks. His hands are free, but they're bruised and cut all over. The tree is too big and too heavy to move and he wouldn't have the energy to budge it anyway. He's so weak he can barely move. His eyes are droopy and he dares to close them again, it's the only things he feels like he can do.

_Don't struggle, okay? It's going to happen, and it'll be so much easier if you just let it._

Maxxie gulps for air as his eyes fly back open. He can't breathe, the tree is lying heavily against his whole stomach. Maxxie is no doctor but he's pretty sure he's broken every bone in his body from the neck down. He won't be able to dance again, he thinks and lets out another whimper. His breaths sound like they're made by a broken machine, rough and gruffly. Frederick's voice rings out into his head and bounces along the shell of his brain. Maxxie doesn't think he could struggle even if he wanted to.

"Oh my God." He sobs, closing his eyes and allowing the tears to slide down the sides of his cheeks. He doesn't have enough energy to wipe them away.

_Also breathe, just fucking breathe because although it will hurt it will make you less dizzy._

Maxxie can't breathe. His lungs won't work, and he can't get enough oxygen into his body for him to properly breathe. It hurts so much, and Maxxie frowns and his body shakes with his cries. It just hurts more as his body tugs against the tree's sharp wood. Maxxie doesn't want to think of a dream he had two nights ago, he's had better ones. More interesting ones. He doesn't want to think of Frederick and his creepy instructions.

He remembers then, that JJ was with him. It was JJ that had stated a tree was falling and had pointed the right one out. It was also JJ that had fallen over and slowed them down when Maxxie had wanted to run away.

"Jay?" Maxxie whispers, his voice is quiet and raspy. It sounds like he's just breathing in tune. There is no answer. "JJ?"

"Huh?" There's a high-pitched moan from nearby. JJ sounds weak and confused and so lost. "I can't…" He breathes in and seems to be struggling just as much as Maxxie at breathing. "I…can't…breathe." Maxxie can barely hear him. "There's something… I can feel…something in my…in my chest," JJ breathes out and Maxxie wants to hug him, because JJ always sounds like a confused little child, but now he sounds it more than ever. "I think there's a… branch in my…in my stomach."

_Oh yeah, and the other guy? Hold his hand, it'll make him feel better and he'll be in a lot more pain than you._

"Jay, breathe. It will make you feel better." Maxxie rasps out and feels himself fight for oxygen. Frederick's words recite through Maxxie's ears. He wonders how he guessed what would happen in his dream. He's never done that before. Maxxie's head flops as his eyes close, but he has to remember to keep awake. He won't let himself give in that easily.

"JJ, grab my hand." Maxxie hisses as he tries to move his hand to the left. It hurts too much and the ache becomes so much stronger. But Frederick had said, and right now Maxxie doesn't have anything else to go on. "Reach out your hand," he breathes steadily, feeling the jagged breath push through his swollen neck. "Reach and grab my hand, okay?"

"I can't…" He hears JJ cry. "I can't move."

"You can." Maxxie says, shaking away the tears as they sting back into his eyes. "Your hands are free, yeah? So reach out." Maxxie holds his hand out, drags it through the mud and waits to feel JJ's skin. Eventually fingers find his and Maxxie can feel that they're wet, with blood, he guesses. JJ's skin is cold, despite the warm blood covering his hand.

"It hurts…" JJ's sobs. "So much." Maxxie winces at the pain in his voice and attempts to heave another gulp of air into his lungs. "I want to…go home. I just…I feel…"

"Tell me," Maxxie gulps, doing his best to squeeze JJ's hand. "Tell me about your first crush." Maxxie whispers, and he hopes JJ can understand, because all Maxxie heard was a lot of breaths moulding together. He figures by asking a hard question it'll take JJ's mind off the pain. Maxxie could do with a distraction, it's becoming harder to stay awake and his energy is leaving him thick and fast with his blood.

"My first…?" JJ's voice is strained and painful to listen too. "…there was this girl… I was about eleven; it was the first year of secondary…she used to smile at me… no one would smile at me when I was younger…" It sounds like JJ attempts to laugh, but it ends up in a cough and a grimace. "She had blonde hair…green eyes. I cornered her once… tried to kiss her against the History building… didn't go well."

Maxxie smiles, he can imagine a small JJ leaning against a girl, awkward and shy. JJ seems to be struggling with breathing for a few minutes, but he's determined to finish his story. "What's her name?" Maxxie asks because in the past when he's seen JJ being asked questions he seems surprised and happy to answer them. It shows your listening, and Maxxie knows that with a stick going through his stomach, JJ probably won't make it out alive. Maxxie's eyes water at the thought and send more droplets down his cheek. The pain is still absolutely killing him, and there's a massive sting every time he tries to take a breath in.

"Sheila, I think…" JJ breathes out. "…she slapped me as soon as I pulled away… all the boys in class laughed at me and… and called me names." He sounds breathless and quiet. Maxxie holds his hand tighter. "…'course the next day …Cook and Freds … they came and beat them."

Maxxie swallows. "Good." He says.

There's silence for a bit and Maxxie is forcing his eyes open. "We're not going to… find Cook, are we?" JJ snivels.

"No," Maxxie shakes his head; he forgets that JJ can't actually see him. "I don't think we are, Jay."

"They'll find us though… soon."

"Yeah," Maxxie sniffs. "Sure."

They're silent for a bit. Maxxie is thinking about his first crush. Bruce Willis, he thinks. He became obsessed with him and put loads of posters up of him all around his room. This was before his parents knew he was gay, and they always frowned at him when he told them he would marry Bruce Willis. Maxxie cringes and coughs as he struggles to get another breath. It's getting harder and harder to keep his eyes wide and his throat swallowing. Maxxie doesn't think Bruce Willis is attractive now, he wouldn't even watch a film with him in anymore. But Maxxie always watched them with his dad.

"Jay?" Maxxie croaks out, frowning at the sudden add of pain. "You awake, JJ?" He pulls JJ's hand to get his attention, but there's no answering movement or sound. "JJ, answer me." There's no sound. Maxxie struggles to turn his head, it hurts so much and his eyes are watering all over again. JJ's face is white and his eyes are closed shut, there's blood everywhere around him and Maxxie cries out.

"JJ? Wake up. Wake up." There's no sign of life in him at all, and Maxxie feels the anger and fear and grief build up. "Fuck. Shit."

_It will hurt, but it'll be over soon. I promise you that, okay?_

Maxxie feels the chill all over his body, creeping over every inch of skin. He just wants it to be over now, he just wants to either wake up or go to sleep. Anything to stop this. "Fucking stop this now." He bawls, gripping the cold hand still lying limp in the mud. "Can't it just be over?"

Maxxie closes his eyes, dreams of halls with mirrors surrounding the walls. Dreams of tapping shoes and ballet pumps. He dreams of moving his feet in time to a slow rhythm and gliding past each reflection. Maxxie closes his eyes and dreams and doesn't open them again.


	8. The Sparks In The Ceiling

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything.**_

_**It takes hours to write; seconds to review.**_

The sky was made so clear that sometimes, at night, you can see the far blue edge of forever behind distant suns. Yet, nothing's that clear here, and I'm sitting right next to you.  
(Please Find This; _IWroteThisForYou_)

Thomas. Group 2. Day 5.

He's eating a chocolate bar for breakfast. It's not the unhealthiest thing he's ever eaten in the morning. In fact, Pandora liked to share donuts between them when she woke up, although having them everyday for almost three months proved to be having consequences. Thomas had had to put a stop to that when he found he couldn't run down the street without having to stop and take a deep breath.

"They should be back, right?" Anwar asks from across the circle. His fingers are rapidly hitting against each other, and it reminds him of what JJ does when he gets nervous. JJ has a lot of odd habits though, Thomas thinks, though he's been getting better at dealing with them. "I mean, Maxxie and JJ were meant to be back before sundown yesterday. So, like, where are they? JJ promised to be back by dark."

Thomas can see Cassie nod along to Anwar's words; her hand is playing with Sid's fingers. "Totally. Now we have two lost groups, we're so not going to keep track of them. It's going to be like, crazy." She drops Sid's left hand and goes to reach for his right one. Sid doesn't look like he notices it, like she does it all the time.

"It'll be fine." Tony says. Thomas thinks that everybody listens to Tony. He has a voice that sounds important and a face that people like to trust. Thomas likes to trust everybody though. "They probably just got tired. Half of us have been through those trees; we've seen how big it is. Be patient, guys."

"Yeah." Anwar nods, but his eyes don't agree. They're burning worry and fear through the sand. "They know the way, they can't be lost. So… Yeah, just tired."

Cassie looks up to watch Anwar, there's always a smile growing on her lips. "Wow, you're totally guilty about something, Anwar." Her eyes are wide and honest. Thomas can't read these new people well, he wrongly labels expressions.

"Fuck off, Cass." Anwar glares up. Thomas doesn't think he's heard Anwar swear before, so he thinks this conversation might turn sour. He doesn't like arguments and he doesn't want to be around for this one, so he stands and heads towards where Emily and Michelle are sitting. It's always calm around them.

They both look up at the same time as he stops beside them. "Hey, Thomas." Emily smiles and pats a space next to her. "You okay?" Thomas smiles back and nods. Emily has a warming smile; her eyes always shine along with it.

"I'm good thank you." He says, Michelle is biting a nail and looking rather bored at him. "They are all still worried about Jay and Maxxie and Katie and Cook. JJ is a good navigator though, so they should be back soon." Thomas stares down at the space Emily had gestured for him to sit at. Emily looks worried now though, and Michelle has turned to see her expression.

"Em, you know JJ and Maxxie will find her. Don't worry about it." Michelle is saying and is reaching across to place a hand on her leg. "Yeah?"

Emily smiles again, and Thomas recognises that this one doesn't reach her eyes. It makes him rather sad. "Hmm." She nods noncommittally. "Sure, JJ's a genius. He's going to find Katie. They'll be back soon. So…" Emily trails off and stares into the sand. There's no truth in her words.

"I should go, anyway." Thomas looks around; he hasn't seen Pandora for at least half an hour. "I need to find Panda."

"Yeah, okay." Emily's looking up at him again, her face suddenly brighter. "See you in a bit." Thomas thinks that they can always see each other. The beach is wide open and he can spot anyone at any time. But he nods in agreement anyway.

Pandora. Group 2. Day 5.

The hand on her stomach is a lot harder than it should be. It hurts and she yelps out another cry. "Ouch."

"Shush your moaning, would you?" Effy orders sternly, her brows narrowed. "Let Jal do her business." Effy turns back to Jal and tilts her head in question. Jal looks at Effy and then back to Pandora. Pandora knew this would happen.

"Okay, tell me when it hurts." Jal says and goes to rest her hand on her belly again.

"It hurts." Pandora shouts before she can feel any pressure on the baby-bump. It's growing bigger by the day, Pandora used to get annoyed by all the wobbling when walking, but now she just finds it fun. She sometimes plays a game of how long she can walk in a straight line before her belly makes her lose balance and tip over.

"She hasn't even touched you yet, Pandora." Effy sighs and frowns down at her.

"That's because it hurts now. Like, whizzer loads already. I 'ain't gunna wait till more pain to yap my monkeys out, am I?" It makes sense to Pandora, she thinks Effy isn't listening right.

"Right. How many weeks are you again?" Jal asks and there's slight concern on her face that Pandora's eyes widen at.

"Dunno." Pandora shrugs. "Tomo knows all that bananas, I just think about having it, you know? He said that'd be bonkers hard anyways."

Pandora watches Effy roll her eyes. Pandora thinks Effy acts more like a mother than best friend sometimes. But they're best buddies, chummy and everything. Pandora and Effy will always be besties. "Thomas told me it was about 32 weeks."

The number rings a bell in Pandora's head. "Oh, yep. That's it. Whizzer memory, Eff."

Jal thinks for a minute, looking over Pandora's stomach. "I mean, you could just be feeling contractions. Are you feeling sick at all in the mornings?"

Pandora widens her eyes and nods her head eagerly. "Loads and loads. Sometimes I don't actually poof it up, but it stirs ra-ra in my belly and my head spins like it did on the merry-go-round last summer. Totally mad. It went berserk fast and nearly fell off, I did. Wholly bonkers, it were."

Jal nods her head, she looks more relieved. "That's good. It's probably just the usual symptoms. Your stomach will feel tight sometimes and then sometimes really heavy and loose. It depends on your mood, mostly."

Effy smiles. Pandora shakes her head in disbelief. "I knew this were going to happen as well. Mum told me if I ever surf 'n' turf and open my box, I'd get a noodle in my pond and the potato would go poppy." Jal is frowning, Effy is nodding along. "See, she warned me. But I didn't listen, I didn't." Effy makes a tutting sound from the back of her throat. "Silly bonkers of me, now my flowers in a bunch and the poodle's gone potty."

Jal looks confused and gestures that she's going. "Okay then." She mutters as she's walking off.

"Well," Effy's saying as she gets down to the floor to lie next to Pandora. "You're mothers right, Panda."

Naomi. Group 1. Day 5.

The hand is only gently resting on her knee and then in the same second it's gone. Their mouths are moving, Emily is laughing and Michelle is looking all kinds of proud again. Naomi wouldn't find her joke fucking funny. There's the hand again, she sees and has to close her eyes. Emily barely notices, like Michelle's long pale fingers aren't snaking around her knee and squeezing. Naomi feels sick.

"Ugh." She snorts out and has to force her head to look away.

"Jealous?" There's a voice right by her right ear and Naomi whips her head round to see. It's Effy, smirking up at her.

"Fuck off." Naomi warns before looking back in the direction of Emily and Michelle. Michelle is now nodding along to words coming from Emily's mouth. Naomi hates that she can't hear them.

"Wow, you're like, mega jealous." Another voice smirks into her left ear. Naomi doesn't have to turn to know its Cassie. Like the angel and the devil on each shoulder. Though, Naomi thinks, it's more like the devil and the devil.

"No." Naomi shakes her head, her eyes tracing Emily's face trying to figure out what she's saying. "I'm not fucking jealous. So, you know, go fuck yourselves."

"Well…" Effy's voice sounds mischievous and Naomi already doesn't want to know what she's going to say. "Maybe I'll just ask to join them?" Cassie giggles from her left shoulder. "I'm sure they have a right _banging_ time, huh?"

Naomi gulps. She knows Effy's just trying to stir things, or get involved or some shit, but Naomi's not in the mood. She had enough of Effy's little games back in college, thanks very much. "Michelle's not gay." Naomi squeaks out before coughing. Naomi's heard enough around the beach to know that Michelle can be quite a slag. Cassie told her that though, and she has some resentment because of a lingering issue with Sid.

Effy laughs and Naomi can feel her breath prickle at her neck. "But Emily is."

"Besides," Cassie says as she rests her chin against Naomi's left shoulder. "When we're totally deserted on an island, who like, gives a fuck who you fuck. Right? It's all just fun."

Naomi feels sick. Her stomach churns and her eyebrows narrow. Emily wouldn't do that. She's not a slag, Emily wouldn't fuck someone just for fun. She always told her it was special, and it showed their love. Emily's not like that. But then, Naomi thinks, what about JJ? And that giant girl, her name began with 'M', that Emily always invited back to their house just after Naomi had fucked up. She didn't fuck them for love.

"Emily's not… She's not like that." Naomi stutters, shaking her head.

"Wow, I thought you were so not jealous?" Cassie's chin moves against Naomi's shoulder.

"Well, yeah." Naomi nods. She can't stop staring at them. Emily's eyes are bright and her smile is happy and Michelle is just the same. They're looking at each other, like friends, Naomi thinks; it has to be just like friends. But then, Naomi's seen Emily look like that at her. She used to wear the same expression when she used to see Naomi at college. "Yeah, 'course I don't care."

"So then, you think they are fucking?" Effy sounds closer than she was; her voice sends chills down Naomi's spine. "Like, rough, yeah? 'Cause I heard Michelle likes it rough-"

"Hmm," Cassie nods hard against Naomi's shoulder. Naomi swallows down sick. "Michelle always told me that. So, like, rough."

"Probably do it in the bushes, right? They'd be too loud. What do you think, Naomi?" Effy's voice is evil. Naomi frowns and can't help that her eyes still watch the two of them in front. They're totally oblivious. Has Naomi been totally oblivious too? All this time on the island and she hasn't suspected a thing. Her stomach clenches with pain. "I can imagine it's such a relief."

"Wow, totally."

"Bet it's loads of fun. Just imagine-"

"Stop it. Fucking stop it, okay?" Naomi steps away and turns around. Cassie's head falls but when she steadies there's a clear smile on her lips. "Emily and Michelle are not fucking." She shouts.

Naomi looks around and realises she was louder than she thought. Tony is standing feet away with a shocked expression on his face. Effy turns and smirks, like she's just realised she's accomplished something else, as well as annoying Naomi. Tony switches to a neutral face and shrugs before walking away.

"Wow." Cassie nods.

"No one's fucking anyone, I mean." Naomi says, glaring at the two girls. "So, yeah." When Naomi looks back at Emily and Michelle she can feel bile rise in her throat and she quickly walks away.

Cook. Group 1. Day 5,

His feet are fucking aching. It's gone past the point of hurting now, they're fucking _aching._ His head feels heavy and his neck can't even hold it up fucking right. Cook's never felt this tired in his life.

"Babe, can't we just stop now? It's been two days." He moans, and as soon as the words leave his lips he regrets them. Katie turns around with a furious expression, she's one of the only people Cook's actually scared off. It's strange. "I mean, we might have double crossed her, or whatever, yeah? We might have missed her or-"

"You think we should go back?" Katie asks, and her voice is calm. Cook looks at her angry face and then replays the tone of her voice over in his head and then frowns. "James?"

"Well," Cook doesn't know what to say. The truth or what'll make her happy. "Now that you're asking, love. Yeah, I think we should head the fuck back. Maybe Em's headed towards the beach too."

"Oh," Katie nods, her anger turning into a smile. "Oh, okay. You think that, do you?"

Cook fiddles with the hem of his shirt. Katie's fucking scary, man. "Yep."

"See," Katie says, walking closer up to Cook. He has to look down and he doesn't mind, not really. He has a nice view of her fucking mint tits. Cook would never complain about that. Katie's expression turns angry again and Cook has to take a second glance. "I don't recall fucking asking you shit. You haven't bloody helped me this far, so you can't help me now."

"Katiekins," He throws his hands up in mock surrender. "Babe, we need to turn back, yeah? Emily can't have gotten this far." Katie's frown stays the same. "Trust me, man, she's headed that way. Towards the fucking beach."

Katie's anger suddenly floats right out of her, Cook watches as she literally deflates. "You don't understand." She says, her voice sounding weak. "No one fucking understands."

"What?" Cook asks, his hands flat on his belly. "What you on about?"

"Emily," Katie shrugs. Fucking obviously. "She's like, _my_ person, yeah? It's not like you and fucking JJ or Freds. It's so much fucking more. Like…" Katie shakes her head and Cook regrets ever bringing the subject up. He wishes he just carried on dragging his feet across the floor. "I can't leave her here, Cook."

Katie's stare is intense. Cook wants to be the voice of reason for fucking once. He wants to tell her they're running out of food and can't last another few days. They need to turn back now. But Cook has a soft spot for Katie, plus her tits are staring him right in the face. "Okay then. Whatever, babe."

Katie nods happily and Cook shakes away any thoughts that it was all planned. That it was all just a fucking performance, because Cook likes Katie. He doesn't think she'd lie to him. "Thank you, Cook." Katie murmurs as she reaches to squeeze his hand.

They walk a little more in silence. Cook's worried that he's never going to be able to go back, 'cause he can't say no to Katie. He shakes his head though, he's thinking with his belly. They've been walking for at least ten minutes before he realises their hands are still connected and swinging along by his side.

Sid. Group 1. Day 5.

Cassie's eyes are wide, and Sid can read everything that is going through them. He's scared.

"Don't, Cass." He says calmly as the girl's hand reaches out. "Just leave it, okay?" Sid watches as Cassie's hands drag back towards her knee. Her smile is still as happy as always.

"Wow, but it looks so like, cool." She shakes her head, her eyes still gazing at the gun in the middle of the circle. Sid has seen the eagerness in her eyes before, though it's always when a bag of pills sits in front of her. Sid feels like a parent watching over a child sometimes when he's with Cassie. "It could totally bring death just like," she snaps her fingers, "just like that."

"Cassie, don't be silly. You heard Tone, he said he disarmed it but to leave it alone." Sid moves over to sit next to Cassie, he grabs her hands in his. More for protection than endearment. "Besides, I saw you with Naomi and Effy. You've caused enough trouble today." Cassie's eyes go wide.

"Wow, you totally don't know what your talking abut though. We were only being lovely." Cassie nods to herself. "I'm so not the person I was. I don't want to mess with people, Sid."

Sid remembers back to when Cassie was like that. He remembers the second year of college when she would mess with all their friends heads just to see the outcome. To test their reaction. Sid didn't like that Cassie very much.

"Good." He squeezes his hands over Cassie's and watches, as her smile gets bigger. "It's not nice to mess with people, Cass."

"Yeah." Cassie frowns, like its obvious and she already knows. "I already totally know that. I'm not that person anymore, Sidney."

Sid swallows and tries to believe her.

Tony. Group 2. Day 5.

Tony's watching the clouds float by when he sees her. Michelle is walking towards the trees on her own. She's finally left Emily's side. He'd laugh about it if it wasn't so fucking ridiculous.

"Hey, Chelle." He calls as he struggles to get to his feet. His head feels dizzy from lying down too long. "Michelle?" She's walking quickly and doesn't stop until Tony's right up behind her and tugs her arm.

She looks annoyed. "What, Tony? I really need a piss and I'd rather go alone thanks." Tony's eyebrows rise automatically and he receives a slap on the arm.

"Sorry." He laughs and shakes his head. 'Can't help it, can I?" Michelle has a whisper of a smile on her face, and he suddenly remembers why he wanted to speak to her in the first place. "Anyway," He tilts his head and can just see Emily's red hair over Michelle's shoulder. "I mean, so," he nods his head in her direction. "You're fucking her, then?"

Michelle's eyes widen and her head whips around to face Emily. "What?" She's laughing by the time she's facing Tony again. He feels a bit like a fool already. He knew his sister looked a bit too suspicious to trust. "What are you on about, Tone?"

Tony shrugs. "Dunno, really. I mean, it's a little bit like an obsession. You're always with her, right? I'd say it was a rather genius observation to say you two are fucking."

Michelle is still smirking, her eyes narrowing. "You're a dick, Tony."

"Yeah well," He says, annoyed he's being made to look like a bit of a twat. "You never fucking leave her side, Michelle."

Michelle suddenly frowns. She doesn't look happy at all. "Tony, she's ill. Fucking-" She shakes her head. "She has no one else, does she? Just because I haven't been a selfish wanker and cared about my self, like you. Don't make it out like I'm a fucking bad person for helping someone, Tony." Michelle's fists are clenched and Tony considers whether to apologize or wait for things to get really interesting. "At least I think about other people."

Tony shakes his head. "I came looking for Effy, didn't I?

"Yeah." Michelle nods, but she's still looking angry and annoyed. "Because she's the only person you fucking care about, Tony. You don't try with anyone else." She looks behind at Emily and back again. "You've never even talked to Emily. You're such a judgemental little-"

"Alright." Tony sticks his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, okay? Jesus, I didn't mean to-"

"No, fuck you." Michelle is already walking past him, her shoulder hitting his arm hard. "I'm not holding my piss for this."

"Nips, I'm sorry." Tony shouts. He's done it again, he finds it so easy to annoy Michelle, he does it without even meaning to sometimes. Well, he thinks, that's another thing he'll have to fucking fix.

Emily. Group 2. Day 5.

She doesn't get to come here often anymore. She's a little surprised to find herself missing the eternal blinding white. It's so much quieter here though; she can hear her thoughts rushing through the open tunnels in her mind. Emily also likes her clothes. It's silly, but she likes that they always feel fresh against her skin.

"You're back." Emily swivels round to face Christopher; his smile is slow to form. "Ahh, I missed you, didn't I? Come here, Em." He waddles towards her with open arms.

"No." She says sternly and steppes back. "No, Christopher." He has a confused frown on his face. "I need to ask you something, and you have to promise me," Emily raises her eyebrow, "_promise_ me, that you'll tell the truth."

Christopher doesn't look worried, he just nods enthusiastically. "Yeah, whatever babe."

Emily nods happily and sits down. She gestures to the place opposite her for him to sit down too. Christopher winks at her and drops to the floor. "What is it then, Em?"

Emily swallows. "Where's my sister?"

"She's in the trees."

"With Cook?"

Nod.

"And JJ?"

Pause.

"Christopher, with JJ and Maxxie?"

"See, Emily. I can't actually tell you that so…" Christopher looks to the floor guiltily. He shakes his head and fiddles with his fingers. Emily thinks he almost looks sad. "I promised I'd tell you the truth, yeah? I never said I'd tell you everythin'."

Emily frowns and leans forward. "Christopher, tell me where JJ and Maxxie are." Emily orders as firmly as possible. "Tell me, now."

"I can't. " Christopher won't look up into her eyes and Emily's starting to become worried. "Trust me, I just can't, yeah?"

Emily stands up and clenches her fists. "You realise that when the time comes, I don't actually have to help you. I don't have to send your message, yeah?" She can be lethal when she wants to be and Emily is starting to get angry. Fear and anger is not a good mix, Emily thinks.

"Don't do this, Emily. You'll regret it." Christopher stands too. "There just somewhere on the island, aren't they?"

"Why are you lying to me, Christopher?" Emily frowns in confusion, she can see straight through him. Christopher is still looking to the ground and wiggling his fingers together. "Just tell me the truth."

"I can't,"

"Jesus, Christopher. I'll have you know that JJ is actually pretty special to me. And if I find out he's hurt and you haven't told me about it, then I swear to God. I won't talk to you, help you, acknowledge you… I mean, I can be a bitch when I want to be, yeah? I do share Katie's genes, remember? So just fucking tell me, yeah? Where are Maxxie and JJ, for the love of-"

"They're gone." Christopher yells, interrupting Emily's speech. She goes silent and stares at him. "They're fucking gone, okay?"

"Gone?" Emily asks, her legs becoming a little weak. "Gone where?"

Christopher looks to the ground and then back up to Emily with sad eyes. "Em, they're dead." He whispers and Emily falls to the floor in one sudden motion. Christopher bends to catch her. "I'm sorry, yeah? I warned you, I didn't want to tell you."

"No." Emily mutters to herself, shaking her head and roughly dragging her hand across her eyes. "No, no, no." Christopher is pushing her head into his chest to try to comfort her but she pushes out of it. "No, Christopher you said that I was going to die. You said I would die first, so this can't be right. It's not right; you've got it wrong. JJ wouldn't die. He's clever. He's like, a genius and he'd get out of it and stop it. And anyway, you said I'd die first, so-"

"No, Em. I said you would die. I never said first, yeah?" Christopher's eyes are still turned down with sympathy and they make Emily feel sick.

"I have to go back." Emily says, pushing further away from Christopher and standing up. "Take me back to the beach, I need to tell them. Maybe they aren't dead. Jal fixed me, she can fix them. We have to find them and try to help them. They could be okay. We don't know." She looks down at Christopher. "What are you waiting for? Take me back."

He's shaking his head and standing up again. "I can't, babe."

"What? Why?"

"I don't choose this. You just pop up when you do, and you're back on the beach when you are. It just happens, yeah? I can't do anything."

"No." Emily shakes her head as she looks around for some kind of exit. There has to be one. "No, that's not true. That can't be true."

Christopher takes a deep breath and grabs hold of Emily's frantically searching face. "Listen, Emily." His voice is important, and Emily immediately stares back. "It doesn't matter. None of this does." Emily tries to shake her head and argue but Christopher has a tight hold. "If it all goes like it should, JJ and Maxxie will be fine. Everyone will be fine, okay? You have to start to understand that."

Emily swallows hard and nods. She doesn't understand and her heart feels too heavy for any truth to will out. She feels the tear run the width of her cheek before Christopher catches it.


	9. The Cold Travels Fast

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything.**_

_**It takes hours to write; seconds to review.**_

We all know what's happening here because it's happened before. Like an avalanche, there's nothing we can do about it so we don't even need to speak. But this time, if we're covered by the ice and snow, I will hold you tight. I will keep you warm.  
(Please Find This; _IWroteThisForYou_)

Cassie. Group 1. Day 6.

She's always woken up early. It's one of her talents that Sid is jealous of, and that is the only reason Cassie likes it. When they have to get ready in the morning for work Cassie is always the one that has to wake Sid up. Cassie sees it as a sort of power, being partially in control of his daily routine. That's why sometimes she leaves him to sleep late and he has to rush; it's all to show Sid just how much power Cassie has over him. Cassie thinks it shows that Sid needs her.

The fire needs wood to burn, and the wood is waiting for Cassie to pick it. Cassie is in control of everything around her, she thinks. So she pushes her way through the trees to find some spare sticks lying around the ground. They're all long and thin; they would burn out in no time. Cassie needs big fat and chunky sticks; they'll keep the fire flickering all through the night. Her arms are only cradling three, she needs more.

"You're gunna need more than that to make a fire." Cassie looks up at the male voice and drops the sticks. Chris has his eyebrow raised and is staring at the fallen objects. His smile is mischievous, the best kind of smile Cassie remembers.

"Oh wow," Cassie walks up to him and is already stretching her hands out. "It's been totally ages since I last saw you."

"Whoa," Chris raises his hands and steps away from her. She narrows her eyes and blinks in confusion. "Cass, you can't touch me. Sorry, babe."

Cassie nods in understanding. When she was a child she remembers seeing her Grandfather tuck her into bed a week after he died. He told her the same thing. Though she thinks that was a dream. "Oh, that's cool. I totally understand, you're like a ghost, yeah?"

Chris shrugs. "Sure." Cassie smiles and nods. She isn't scared, it's just Chris. She remembers back to the last time she saw Chris, his head was floppy and red in her hands. His nose had been bleeding and his cheeks were slowly becoming white. Cassie ran.

"It's so lovely to see you, Chris." Cassie fidgets with her fingers and tilts her head, her eyes widen on instinct as she looks him up and down. "I'm so totally sorry for leaving you. It was really shit of me." He looks normal in front of her, like he's alive and not dead. He looks more normal than her Grandfather did when she saw him. Chris looks less dead.

"Nah, Cassie, don't worry about it." Chris smiles and it makes Cassie's heart hurt. "I'm alright now, 'ain't I?" She looks at his face and thinks he looks nice; healthy and nice. She nods.

"Totally." Cassie wants to hug him, or kiss him on the cheek. She's missed him so much. "Are you like an angel? Did God send you down to tell me about a secret mission or something? 'Cause I'll so do it."

Chris laughs and purses his lips. "Yeah, I guess so." He scratches his head and looks back to Cassie with a serious expression. "I kind of have a mission for you. But it's from me."

"Yeah, okay. Wow." Cassie's eyes widen with excitement as she bites at her lip. "Okay, I'm totally listening."

"Right, good." Chris says. His face suddenly turns serious. "You need to tell Jal something, yeah?"

"Yes."

"You need to tell her not to worry. That she can't save everyone, and that she did her best."

"But, like, who can't she save?" Cassie asks as she nods along to his instructions.

"Just tell her that there was no way she could have saved her." He looks to the floor for a minute and then looks back up to Cassie with sad eyes, there's water at the edges, she thinks. "She was always going to die."

Cassie's eyebrows are knitted together, her lips in a straight line. "Wow, yeah. But who?" Chris doesn't look her in the eye. "Who's going to die, Chris?"

He shakes his head and rubs his hands over his face. "I can't tell you. But, Cassie?"

"Yes?"

"Look after everyone. After she dies, it's all going to be turmoil. Fucking chaos." He says as he stares into her eyes. "Promise me, you'll take care of them all."

"Right." Cassie nods. "Okay then."

He turns to walk away, and Cassie doesn't want this to end. She doesn't want Chris to leave again. "Chris?"

He stops and turns. "I'll see you, Cass." He whispers and looks as if he's about to turn but then thinks better of it. "It's all going to be okay." He tries a smile and then walks away. Cassie blinks and reaches for her sticks.

Cook. Group 1. Day 6.

He huffs to himself and lifts her into his arms. She's heavier than he thought, but it's manageable. It's for the best, what he's doing. He's only trying to do the right thing, because he knows that Katie won't. Cook has to take things into his own hands.

"Fuck." He sighs and stumbles forward. He feels like a right big fucking traitor; going behind her back like this. But it has to be done, he reminds himself, it has to. They've run out of food, and are quickly losing water. They'll be living off nothing soon, and if they carry on it'll just take double the time to get back. They won't survive if they carry on, and Katie will never understand that.

Katie shuffles in his arms and buries her head into his neck. He feels guiltier and almost stops to wake her. But she wouldn't get it, he's tried before. Cook's started to care about her a fucking lot, and he couldn't just leave her to search in the trees alone. She'd just become more helpless, and Cook couldn't leave her like that.

He loves Emily, he really does. And he'd happily search for her longer if they had more supplies. But they don't, and it's becoming so bad that they have to monitor when they can drink. They can't live off it for any longer, and they need to get more. If this means leaving Emily, then so be it. He thinks she won't have gotten this far anyway.

Cook's taking them back. Him and Katie. He'll carry her all the way back to the beach if he has to, but they're going to get there. He just has to get as far as he can without her waking, because when she does, it'll be fucking hell.

Jal. Group 2. Day 6.

She's sitting by the fire when Cassie comes up to her and drags her away. Her hands are sweaty and her eyes are still droopy with sleep. Cassie's determined and excited.

"Whoa, Jesus, Cass. I'm tired, yeah?" Jal moans as she stumbles over her feet behind Cassie. Her arm is being pulled with force. "Calm down." Cassie shakes her head in front of her and carries on rushing forward until they're away from all the others.

"Wow, okay. So listen, Jal." Cassie claps her hands together and then searches for Jal's to hold. Jal's too tired to pull away. "I have something to tell you, but you totally won't believe me."

Jal shrugs, she'll believe anything at the minute. She never thought she'd be deserted on an island with her old college friends, but here she is. "Fine. Whatever, just tell me."

Cassie looks sceptical. "Okay, but you like, promise to believe me?"

"I promise I'll try, yeah?" Jal replies and raises her eyebrows in annoyance. She's too tired for some cryptic game or whatever it is that Cassie wants to play. She remembers all the silly little comments Cassie used to say that would put Jal a little on edge for the rest of the day. It was all just shit.

"Right, okay." Cassie smiles at her and squeezes her hands. The excitement is back. "I saw Chris in the woods and-"

"Fuck off, Cass." Jal hisses and pulls her hands away from Cassie. She doesn't even know how Cassie can joke about it. The name alone makes Jal's heart tighten and ache and… "Jesus, how can you even fucking joke about that, Cassie? It's so cruel." Jal feels her eyes throb with tears and her nostrils are starting to flare. She knew she shouldn't fucking follow Cassie.

"Wow, no, wait." Cassie looks shocked, like she expected Jal to laugh along with her. "You've totally got it wrong. It was like, his ghost or-"

"Stop it." Jal shouts and rubs her hands over her face. Don't cry. Breathe and don't fucking cry. It's starting to bring back memories and she's tried so hard to bury them. She's been working on forgetting her old life for so long, just one name could shatter the walls. "I can't fucking believe you, Cassie."

Jal has to breathe. She flares her nostrils and opens her mouth wide. She can still see his mischievous grin, his small chubby hands, his sparkly eyes. She can see his eyebrow lift and his mouth quirk, "not even a cheeky little foot-job' or some other crude 'job' he'd enquire after and it'd make her giggle for the rest of the night. She has to breathe.

"It's like, so true." Cassie is shaking her head and trying to reach for Jal's hands. "I was on a mission, he told me to tell you something. I really, honestly did see him." She looks like she's about to cry, her eyes look confused. "Chris said-"

"Don't say his name." Jal mutters and then repeats it louder when Cassie looks as if to say something else. "I'm sorry, Cass. It'll always be too soon."

Jal sniffs and shrugs back at Cassie before walking down to the sea. She needs some time to herself, she has to forget it. She can't let him haunt her again. It breaks her heart every time she remembers him.

Tony. Group 2. Day 6.

The girl looks fragile and he feels guilty for not realising how hurt she actually is. She has little scratches along her cheek and a big stitch down her neck. He knows her chest is worse. She looks like she's been crying. Maybe he has been a little selfish from where Emily is concerned. Tony's done nothing to help her; he hasn't even sat down with her and tried to have a conversation. Michelle's words echo in his mind again and he cringes.

_Just because I haven't been a selfish wanker and cared about my self, like you._

He walks up to her and plonks himself down just in front of her lap. "Alright, Emily?"

Emily looks around confused, her eyes are narrowing and her eyebrows frown down. It makes Tony feel worse and uncomfortable. "Are you looking for Michelle?" She asks, and seems to look around quicker. "Because she's somewhere over there."

"No." Tony shakes his head and smiles. He wants to think that he's doing this to be nice, he doesn't want to look round for Michelle, it'll make him want to do it to impress her. That's not what he wants. "I'm here to talk to you, aren't I?"

Emily looks baffled and a little concerned. "You are?"

"Yes." He nods with a charismatic smile playing across his lips. He's a master at charming. "So, tell me about yourself, Emily?"

She looks around again and then back at him with an uneasy face. "Is this some kind of joke?"

Tony swallows. He can't tell if she's making him feel guilty by purpose, but he's a little shocked at how unexpected it is that Tony would talk to her. "No, Emily. I just want to get to know you. I haven't met you properly yet, yeah?"

"Okay."

"So," Tony can't imagine Emily has much fun, just lying there all day. Everyone thinks she's so fragile and delicate and about to fucking break. Tony doesn't want to just be like everyone else. He has an idea. "How are your dancing skills?" He quirks an eyebrow up and Emily looks even more worried.

"Like, proper dancing?" She asks as she purses her lips and bites her bottom lip. "Or club dancing?"

Tony smiles and feels proud he's got her interested. "I mean serious dancing. The type posh people do at proper balls and stuff. You any good?"

"Well," Emily laughs and shakes her head. "I can't say anyone's ever taught me."

Tony's glad. He reaches his arm across and gestures for her to take his hand. "Come on then." He wriggles his eyebrows. "Now's your chance, Miss Emily." She looks hesitant, but her eyes are twinkling and she looks rather excited. Her hand meets his.

"Okay, but you're not like," She breathes in as Tony stands and pulls her up. She looks wobbly. "You're not hitting on me, are you? 'Cause you know I'm gay, right?"

Tony nods and winks at the same time. "Absolutely. It just makes you hotter."

Emily laughs and blushes. "Right." Tony smiles to himself as he places her hands against his shoulders. She's small, but she can just manage. His hand rests on her waist and holds her up with her back. "This is the most exercise I've done since being here." She chuckles, and Tony notes that she has a very cute little giggle.

"The most fun, as well." He says with confidence. It's all part of his charm. "Now, Emily. When I move my right foot back, you move your left one forward. That's the first step. Got it?"

She nods. "I think so." Her smile is wide on her face and Tony wants to hug her. He actually thinks it's a little fun, teaching Emily to dance, and she looks like she's already having fun too. At least she's not stuck on the floor like always. Tony's different; it's all part of the charm.

Sid. Group 1. Day 6.

Cassie is lying on the sand, her fingers gliding through the hot sand. "Cassie?" He says, and she looks up happily. "Cass, I need to speak to you." She's on her feet immediately and walking to stand right at his feet. Sid's smile feels false.

"Yes, Sidney?"

Sid looks down and away from her. He doesn't understand Cassie sometimes, it makes him feel depressed, that after all this time he still doesn't get her. "I was talking to Jal." He looks up just as Cassie's eyes drop to the floor and her smile falters. "Cass, I thought you said yesterday…" Sid shakes his head. "You said you were done with messing with people."

"Wow. It's like… No." Cassie's eyes are wide and hurt. "Sid, you totally don't understand-"

"Too fucking right." He raises his arms in the air and flops them back. "I don't understand, Cassie. So tell me, why did you say that? Why did you tell Jal, of all people, that you saw him? It's just nasty."

"You can say his name, yeah?" Cassie says. "I was telling the truth, Sid. I know you don't like, understand anything. But I did see him. And you all don't have to be totally horrible just because… I don't know, maybe because you can't see him." Cassie's eyes are evil and wider than usual. "It's so shit that none of you will even fucking listen."

"Cass, Chris is dead." Sid argues and he has to raise his voice when Cassie gets into one of these moods, because she can be very mean when she wants to be. It makes him wince, saying Chris' name aloud. "Please don't slip into this pattern again, Cassie." Sid's voice is quieter. "Just leave it now, okay? Don't cause more trouble than you already have."

Cassie shakes her head defiantly. "I did see him. I was only being lovely and passing on a message, Sid." Cassie steps closer, her eyebrows raised. Sid wonders how Cassie can suddenly turn from being so happy to so angry in a flick of fingers. "And if you don't believe me, then…" She looks away and Sid can see tears in her eyes. But he can't have this. He can't let her make up stories just to cause drama. "Then I really don't want to be around you."

"Cassie," Sid sighs and tries to reach for her arm, but Cassie steps away quickly. "I just don't want you to be that person again, okay?" She looks towards him and nods.

"I'm totally not." She shrugs and seems to be a little happier.

"So, you know. Just don't make up stories-"

"Oh, wow. I thought…" She steps away again, like she's been burned. "Fuck you, Sid."

He watches her walk away. Sid doesn't like upsetting Cassie, but she fucked everyone up in college. He won't let her resurrect the dead and turn Chris into some joke. It's not right, and he won't stand by her if she just wants to watch everyone break. Not if she turns into her old self.

Michelle. Group 2. Day 6.

Emily's laughing into his shoulder, and it makes her smile to see it. She hasn't seen Emily so happy in a long time. It just makes her smile larger at the fact that it's Tony causing it. They're dancing the way that Tony used slow dance with her. Though they look like they're having a whale of a time, while for Michelle it was always a little sad when she danced with Tony. She always felt so insecure and vulnerable. Tony has an expertise at breaking hearts.

She hopes he took her advise, that Tony's doing this for her. But that's a silly thought. She shakes her head at it. "Grow up." She mutters.

"Sweet." A voice says beside her and Michelle turns to see who just witnessed her little moment. Naomi's lips are pursed and her eyes are watching Emily and Tony. She doesn't share the same joy Michelle has when she watches them.

"Emily's having fun." Michelle nods and turns to see them again. Emily's head is leant forward against his chest, her eyes are closed but her mouth still is laughing at something Tony is saying. "She looks fucking happy, yeah?"

Naomi looks away and sniffs. "Yeah, she does."

"Why don't you tell her?" Michelle asks. Naomi turns back and frowns. "You still love her. Why don't you just tell her?"

Naomi shakes her head. "No, it's not like that." Her eyes trace Emily as she sways along with Tony. "Anyway," She sighs out. "It doesn't matter. Emily doesn't love me anymore. I broke her heart."

"Tony broke mine." Michelle says, and Naomi turns to look at her with furrowed brows. "Several times." She huffs out a gently laugh. It's all just silly, really. "God, if only it was that easy, right?"

"What do you mean?" Naomi asks.

"I mean, like, Emily." Michelle nods her head towards the two dancing figures. "You might of broken her heart, but she's still head over heals. We're all just fucked, yeah?"

"No." Naomi shakes her head. "Emily doesn't. You're wrong."

"Fine." Michelle shrugs and watches as Tony tells another joke. Naomi looks like she's about to walk off. "But, Naomi?" She calls as she turns to see the girl stop still and turn around. "Who are you trying to convince?"

The blonde shrugs and looks over to Emily again. Her eyes are shiny and she sniffs. "I can't lose her again."

Michelle blinks and swallows. "You won't." She says. "Emily's not going anywhere." It sounds more like a prayer than anything.

Katie. Group 1. Day 6.

"What the fuck?" She screams as she pushes Cook against the tree. His feet stumble back. "Is this some kind of sick joke?"

"Babe-"

"Don't fucking babe me!" Katie's nostrils are flared and her hands are clenched. She could punch him right through his fucking cheek if she wanted. She could beat the fuck out of him. "What the fuck?"

"No." Cook shakes his head and reaches forward to press his palm against her mouth and grab her hands in his other hand. "I won't be fucking treated like this." She tries to struggle but Cook is fucking strong. She doesn't want to hear his excuses. He can't just carry her back to the beach while she's asleep. Fuck him if he thinks she'll go willingly.

"We have no food, no drink, nothing. What the fuck are you planning on living on? We were meant to be back ages ago. We've been looking for Emily for four fucking days. And we have nothing, yeah?" Cook's eyes are burning into hers, she wants to rip his hand off and bite it. See how much power he has over her then. Fucking idiot. "Listen, yeah? We can go back and get more food and drink and shit, and then I'll come and look for Emilio again. Okay?"

He finally releases her and she pushes him away with a disgusted snort. "She could be fucking dying out there, yeah? I'm not going anywhere."

Cook sighs in exasperation. "Katie, we won't survive out here for very much longer."

"I don't fucking care. Emily's everything, okay?"

"We'll come back for her and-"

"Cook, listen to me." She orders, her mouth set in a straight line and her eyes serious. "I just can't. She's my fucking sister, and you have to understand that I can't manage without her. I won't survive on my own."

Cook reaches out for Katie's hand and squeezes it tight before Katie can pull away. "You've got me, yeah?" He whispers and looks deep into her eyes. Katie feels her breath hitch and she has to look away. His hand feels warm over hers. "And I won't leave you here." He shakes his head slowly and speaks the words deliberately. "Okay?"

"It's not the same." Katie mutters and looks away, her hand is still wrapped beneath Cook's.

"It doesn't have to be, babe." He says as he pulls her towards him. "But we can come back. And we can still find her." She sighs and looks towards their linked hands. "But right now, we have to go back. If you ever want to see Emily again, we have to go back."

Katie shakes her head and feels her eyes water. She lets out a whimper and feels her body wobble with it. Cook holds her hand tighter.

"Do you understand, Katie?" His voice is soft and gentle. Katie hasn't heard it like this before. "Babe, the quicker we head to the beach, the sooner we can come back out and look for Emily, yeah?"

Katie reluctantly nods. She knows he's right. She had noticed the shortage of food and drink, but she didn't want to think about it. Emily is her priority. She's the one person she can allow herself to care about at the minute.

Cook pulls her forward with their locked hands; his fingers are becoming sweaty with how tight his grip is. Katie's a little bit glad that Cook is here to help her and make sure she'll be all right. Only a little bit, though.

Anwar. Group 1. Day 6.

He's been watching the bushes for the whole of the day. There has been no movement, except for Cassie running out them in the morning with a pile of logs in her arms. There's no sign of Maxxie or JJ.

"Nothing will happen if you watch it like a hawk." Effy says from next to him. "They'll find their way back soon."

Anwar nods and rubs his thumb against the surface of his wedding ring. He can't stand this. He's missing Maxxie as well as his family now. There's nothing he can do to help either of them. His family will be panicking now; he would've been getting home today. Five days, a work-week in New York. He was going for a conference and then he had to visit some other companies. Jesus, he should be at home right now.

They would have all met him at the airport and ran to him as he came out of the luggage room, they would probably of had a flask of coffee and a tuna sandwich ready for him. They would have got home and put on the fire and all watched some PG film for the kids. God, he misses them all so much.

"JJ's a genius at remembering where he's been. They're probably just trying to find Cook and Katie." Effy looks away from the bushes and towards the fire. Anwar wants to tell her that he's got to worry about his family as well, but that would just make the moment more intense. He doesn't want people to know how much he's suffering.

"They could hurry the fuck on then, couldn't they?" He replies and tries to drag his eyes away from the bushes, but he's just too afraid he'll miss some movement and won't see Maxxie coming. He needs to apologize, because Maxxie is Anwar's best friend, he'll always be.

Anwar doesn't think he can stand being on this island much longer. Not without Maxxie. And certainly not while he misses his family so much. He looks towards the sea and thinks it wouldn't be that hard to swim back to safety. Surely the island is close to something. His wife taught him how to be a pretty good swimmer; he thinks he could make it if he swam. He might even save them all.

Naomi. Group 1. Day 6.

She can see her red hair swaying in the wind. She's sitting by the sea, alone. The moon shines above her head.

"Hey, Em." Naomi says as she sits beside her. Emily turns to smile at her and then looks back out to the sea. "Did you walk here?"

Emily looks proud and nods. "Yeah." She smiles wider and licks her lips. Naomi closes her eyes. "Tony helped me to dance earlier, and I just thought I may as well try to walk. 'Cause I was on my feet and everything."

"That's so good, Emily." Naomi looks out to the sea, following Emily's eyes. "Well done." Naomi takes a deep breath and dares to reach for Emily's hand. Emily looks up at the touch and searches Naomi's eyes as she interlocks their fingers.

Naomi doesn't want a serious conversation, so she coughs and leaves their hands interlocked as if it's normal. "I'm sorry Katie isn't back with Maxxie and JJ yet." She whispers, her voice hitching every time she feels Emily's thumb brush against the back of her hand.

Emily looks away and sniffs. "Yeah." Is all she says. Naomi turns to her in confusion and Emily has tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" Naomi asks and squeezes her hand. "They'll find her, you know?"

Emily shrugs. "I don't think they will, Naoms." Naomi feels her heart tighten at the nickname, but she waits for Emily to continue. Emily just sniffs.

"How do you know?" Naomi says when Emily doesn't reply.

Emily shakes her head and looks a little worried. "I don't know. I just… I think it." She nods. "I couldn't know. So, I guess I just think it."

There's silence for a bit and Naomi lets Emily take some ragged breaths to compose herself.

"Okay." Naomi whispers and holds Emily's hand tighter. "Emily?" Naomi looks to the girl next to her and she feels her hand become sweaty and her heart thump a little faster.

Emily turns to look at her. Naomi tries to smile. "Yeah?"

"I just…" Naomi takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry, for breaking your heart." She watches as Emily's eyes widen and look to the floor. "I didn't mean it, Emily. I would take it back if I could. I'd go back to the beginning and change it. But I-"

"Naomi-"

"But I can't." She sniffs and looks down to their hands. "I'd wish it all away if I could. Because I can't stand this. I just… It's like…" Naomi shakes her head as she searches for the right words. She can't find any. "I…"

Emily lifts her chin up with her thumb so they're looking at each other. Her eyes are soft and shiny. "Naomi-"

"Em, I'm being brave, okay?" Naomi takes a breath and searches Emily's face for a reaction. "It's your turn to want me back."

Emily bites her lip and Naomi can see a whisper of a smile. "Naomi," She whispers and her voice sounds huskier than usual. "I've never not wanted you."

Naomi's not sure who moves first, she doesn't really care. Their lips find each other and Naomi lets out a relieved sigh. It feels like home.


	10. The Passing Moments

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything.**_

_**It takes hours to write; seconds to review.**_

Time grabs you by the hand and pulls you fast. Sometimes faster. And we don't notice at first because we're all still shocked at being alive.  
(Please Find This; _IWroteThisForYou_)

Naomi. Group 1. Day 7

She feels alone when she wakes up. There's no body lying next to her, no hand cradled inside her own and no shallow breath warming her neck. She prays it wasn't a dream. Naomi doesn't want to open her eyes in case the red hair is nowhere in sight and she's just lying alone in the sand.

Before she has the chance to open them, however, she feels a soft hand touch her cheek. Naomi knows its Emily straight away; she thinks she'll always recognize those chubby fingers that always feel so gentle. Naomi keeps her eyes closed tight together and hopes Emily keeps her palm running across her cheek forever.

"I've missed you _so_ much, Naoms." Emily whispers as her fingers find their way down Naomi's neck. Naomi tries to keep breathing steadily, but she's finding it harder and harder. "I'm sorry it has to happen this way." There's hurt and sadness in her voice, and Naomi doesn't know what she's on about.

The hand is immediately gone and Naomi waits a few seconds before she opens her eyes to see what Emily is doing. Her red hair is dancing in the wind and she's sitting up and looking out to the sea. Just like last night, she thinks, but with more light and a weaker expression. It breaks her heart to see Emily so upset.

"Hey." Naomi smiles as she sits up and fakes a yawn. "You okay?" She reaches for Emily's hand and squeezes it tightly, she wants to feel as close as she can to the small girl.

Emily sighs and nods, when she turns to Naomi a smile makes it to her lips. It looks almost helpless, like it's all she could do. "Yeah." She mutters, her husky voice catching Naomi's breath. "You?"

Naomi wants to nod and shake her head all at once. She wants to push Emily down and pull her up. She just wants to _be with_ Emily. But there's something wrong and Naomi has to swallow down her worry. "Something's up." She says and Emily's head whips round to search her icy-blue eyes. "You look sad and I can tell… It's like…" Naomi shakes her head and bites her lip. "You regret it, don't you?"

Emily's eyes are wide and confused. "What?" She blinks. "No."

"It's okay. I knew it, anyway. I messed up two years ago and…" Naomi looks down to the floor. "Shit, Emily. I just really wanted-"

"No." Emily is frowning and reaching for Naomi's cheek, her fingers are so soft it makes Naomi close her eyes and sigh. She leans into the touch without thinking. "No, Naomi. It's not like that, not at all." She strokes her thumb down the length of Naomi's cheek. "I want this, okay?"

Naomi nods and buries more of her face into Emily's hand. She smells like winter and summer and grass and snow. It's everything Naomi's ever wanted. Her heart feels horribly tight.

"Emily?" Naomi whispers when she's tangled her fingers through Emily's and she's finally let their hands fall away from her face. There's certain anxiousness to her voice and Naomi hates sounding weak. Naomi never wants to feel fucking _weak_.

Emily hums in response.

"Em, can you promise me something?" She asks as she watches Emily purse her lips and nod. Naomi swallows. "You won't leave me again, will you? I couldn't stand it if-"

"Naomi…" Emily sighs and squeezes their hands together tighter. There's no room for air between their connected palms.

"Just, promise me?" Naomi feels vulnerable, it's like she's fucking begging. She hates herself for being so bloody pathetic. Emily looks hesitant and Naomi can't breathe. "Emily?"

Emily looks away and blinks. "Yeah." She finally mutters, though her tone is unconvincing. "Yeah, I promise." She looks over at Naomi's confused face and then nods with more confidence and conviction. "I won't leave you, Naomi." Naomi relaxes; she says it like a fact. "I promise you."

Naomi smiles widely and shuffles closer so they're inches apart. "Okay." She breathes against Emily's lips before pressing her own against them. Their noses brush together and Emily pushes back with a smile of her own.

Effy. Group 1. Day 7.

Pandora has her hands outstretched as far as she can. Her teeth are clenched with the strain. "This big, probably." She says and nods to herself. "Humongous big, so wholly more. Like, fifty billion bananas more, yeah?"

Effy frowns and follows the length of her arms again. "Okay, sure." She shrugs and goes back to lying down and getting a tan. "Whatever."

"Yeah." Pandora nods and flops her arms against her stomach and lies back. Her bump looks enormous when she's lying down. "So like, if that's how big my house is, what's yours like, Eff? Bet it's bonkers big."

"Dunno." She shrugs and closes her eyes; the sun has suddenly become hot and it burns at her eyelids. "I was moving anyway. Tony wanted us to move to America, he had an obsessive idea that I should come with him. Fucking twat-"

"No. Bloody. Way." Pandora claps her hands and lets out puffed-out sigh. Lazy bugger. "We would've been living in the same place, Eff. Wouldn't that be whizzer weird?"

Effy nods and shrugs at the same time. She was never going to move out of Bristol anyway, it was Tony's dream. He'd talked about New York non-stop since he lost contact with Sid and Cassie two years ago. "Yeah, I guess it would be. But, Panda, we were living in the same place for almost eighteen years, before."

"Yeah, but it'd be flippin' different. 'Cause the magic monkey's woulda' flipped and flapped and gone ga-ga ra-ra and totally hammered the frying pan. It's whizzer different. Isn't it, Eff?"

Effy shrugs. "Maybe." She's missed Pandora, she's missed the challenge in trying to understand what half the words coming out of her mouth mean. Everyone else is just easy, she can read them all like a book. Pandora was always a little different, not quite normal and up to scratch. Just like Effy. "Panda, do you think your kid's gunna be as strange as you?" She asks, because Effy thinks the combination between Thomas and Pandora will be incredibly interesting.

"Her." Pandora says and looks across at Effy's confused face. "It's a girl, I can tell, can't I? Tomo says the pasta in the pot means it's a mini-man, 'course I'm a girl so it has to be a girl, doesn't it? It don't matter if the worm made it to the box."

Effy laughs. "I'm not sure it works like that, Panda. Otherwise everyone would be women."

Pandora bites her lip and carries on as if she hadn't heard her speak. "She'll be just as bonkers crazy as me, yeah? 'Cause we'll be have a whizzer time together and she'll wanna' be just like me, won't she?"

"It'll be fun to have two Pandora's." Effy smiles and reaches to lay a hand on top of Pandora's stomach. "We better get out of here before you pop though."

"That'd be monkeys."

"Miss Pandora Popper." Effy giggles and after a minute of thinking it over Pandora joins in. They lie next to each other laughing loudly, and Effy doesn't even find it that funny.

Pandora stops after a while and folds her hands over her chest. "Ouch." She shakes her head, tears in her eyes and a smile still wide on her face. "It well hurts to laugh."

Michelle. Group 2. Day 7.

Tony's sitting with Anwar and Thomas describing something about the gun. Emily's with Naomi, giggling about who-knows-what. Jal is off with Sid sorting through bags for food or anything suitable to live off. Effy and Pandora are building sandcastles by the sea; every now and then one of them will reach over and push the others into crumbles. Michelle looks around, that only leaves Cassie, she concludes.

"What's up, Cass?" Michelle cheers happily as she inches closer with every footstep. The blonde girl looks up to the voice and stares back down at the sand nonchalantly.

"Hello, Chelle." Cassie mumbles as Michelle begins to kneel down in front of her.

Michelle raises her eyebrows awkwardly. "Whoa, where's your smile today?"

Cassie suddenly looks up, her eyes are evil and her smile is menacing. It's not a good combination, Michelle thinks. It's the way Cassie used to look in that period she had been shagging Sid because she was in denial about Tony. Michelle swallows and blinks away from her. "Where's Emily?"

She frowns because it's not actually offensive, the words, but the way Cassie says it implies she's trying to inflict pain or hurt. "She's with Naomi." Michelle replies and awaits another sour come back.

"Wow, that's so like, ironic, right?" Cassie raises one eyebrow in question.

"What?" Michelle laughs, because she doesn't get why Cassie is trying to be mean. It reminds her of when a child doesn't get what they want so they start to act out in the most immature way possible. "Why are you being like this, Cassie?"

Cassie shakes her head and releases a strangled chuckle. It sounds ugly. "'Cause, like, everyone leaves you, don't they Chelle? Tony, Sid, Jal, Emily-"

"Emily didn't leave me." Michelle interrupts. "She's just over there. And as for the others-"

"Yeah. Sure. Right." Cassie nods sarcastically. "Everyone's like, so into you, yeah? We all totally love you." Michelle would probably be offended, but she doesn't understand what the hell Cassie's talking about. And it's Cassie, so Michelle finds it hard to take anything she says seriously.

"Fuck off, Cassie."

Cassie suddenly looks helpless and upset. Michelle frowns. "It's totally like, none of you get it, yeah? Chris would. Chris does." Cassie sighs and shrugs. Michelle had heard about Cassie's horrible rumours about seeing Chris. It makes her feel sick. "He's here and… Wow, none of you care, do you?"

"Cassie, don't start-"

"You can all totally do yourselves though, because I'm on a mission. Chris sent me on a mission. So, you know. Like, fuck off." She rolls her shoulders back and her eyes go wide. "Or, why don't you totally fuck my boyfriend again, yeah? I'm so sure Sid would love it."

Michelle snorts in disgust and walks off. Fuck Cassie, then. She doesn't even deserve a chance to give an explanation for making a joke out if Chris. She can go fuck herself.

Katie. Group 1. Day 7.

"I remember this one time, right?" Katie laughs at the memory. "Emily was being a right fucking twat-"

"Looking up naked women, right?" Cook nods to himself, a sickly satisfied smile on his face. Katie punches his arm. He moans and chuckles to himself. Fucking disgusting.

"You just ruined the story now." Katie sighs and kicks at the mud beneath her feet. "Now you'll just be imagining that all the way through. Fucking idiot."

"No, no." Cook shakes his head and slings his arm round her shoulder. Katie thinks it feels comfortable, so she leaves it hanging behind her neck. "Nahh, babe. Carry on, yeah? I can already tell it's a fucking crackin' one."

"Ugh." Katie looks to the floor and tries to remember where she was in her story. Barely started, she remembers. "Anyway," She huffs and makes a point to sound annoyed. "Emily was being a twat, right? We were just walking and mum and dad kept telling her to keep away from the bushes-"

"What kind of bushes we on about here?" Cook asks, interrupting again. "'Cause I'm getting' all types of images here, yeah? We talking a bush-bush? Or the bush down the, you know-"

"You're fucking disgusting." Katie slaps his arm again, the part that she can just reach from over her shoulder. "I told you, you bloody ruined the story. Now for both of us, yeah?" She squints her eyes and scowls. "Whenever I think of that story now, all I'm gunna think about is that."

Cook laughs loudly. It's close to her ear and the sound echoes through her head painfully.

"Prick."

"Yeah, you love me." He cheers and pulls her closer with his arm pushing against her neck. She doesn't respond, just clenches her teeth and manages an eye roll. "Anyways, I were interested in that story. Wanna finish?"

Katie shakes her head. "No." Her eyebrows are narrowed and her face straight. She's annoyed, only a little bit, but it's enough. "You fucking ruined it for us both, I told you."

"Tell us another then, love." Cook shrugs.

Katie looks up to him. Cook's eyes are pleading and he has a cute smile on his face. She relents. "Fine." Katie looks out to the trees and remembers another memory. "We were walking in the woods this one time, me and Em used to do it a lot 'cause we used to live right in front of them. Anyway, this one time, we were about ten and I was a cocky fucker-"

"No change then?" Cook sniggers.

"And Emily was well bloody confident around me, when we were alone and that. Not with other people though, she kinda just sat in silence then." Katie explains, a smile on her face as she remembers Emily's shy face. It's different now, Katie doesn't think Emily would ever be shy again, and she supposes she owes a little of that to Naomi, even though she's a lezza bitch.

Cook tugs on her neck. "Yeah?" He sounds impatient.

"So, this one time I remember we passed this humongous fucker of a tree. Like massive, yeah? And we both had to look really high up to see the top. Emily was scared of heights then, not anymore, but she was then. So I dared her to climb it. 'Cause Em would've done anything for me, I am her sister, yeah? We kind of have too."

"'Course." Cook shrugs sarcastically. "Bit harsh though, innit?"

Katie looks up at the trees surrounding her, the tree in the woods was smaller than any in front of her. But she'd only been ten; they all seemed like fucking giants back then. "Emily fell off half way though. Ruined my cheering and everything, I was clapping and stuff." Katie laughs, it wasn't funny back then but looking back Katie thinks it's hilarious. "Dumb twat, she was. We had to call an ambulance and she was in crutches for weeks."

"Poor Em."

"Nahh, not really." Katie cringes as she remembers all the blood that had surrounded Emily. She'd hated herself for being sly and daring anything. Emily always said it was her own fault for listening and agreeing; she always makes people feel happier. That's one of the things Katie loves about her. "She's not afraid of heights anymore. Besides, we went back there a year later and climbed the tree together. Fucking nailed it, we did."

She thinks about the bloodied shirt in the bag, about how much Emily must have bled to lose that much blood. Kate's mouth goes dry and her heart starts hammering again. She will find her, even if she has to stay on the island and turn down a way back. Katie won't ever be without Emily. It's not possible.

They're twins and best friends, they'll always stick together.

Thomas. Group 2. Day 7.

Anwar laughs and shakes his head. "The first few weeks, let me tell you…" His smile turns pained. "They're terrible. Well hard to look after. Rodger just cried. Catherine-" He stops and frowns. "No, well. Catherine was pretty easy actually. But they cry non-bloody-stop."

Thomas smiles. "I think I'm looking forward to all of it, actually." He nods as Anwar tilts his head in confusion. "I mean, I understand the crying will be hard. But it's all in the experience though, right?"

Anwar's face turns normal again, and then sad. "Yeah." He says and it sounds distant. Thomas can tell Anwar misses his family. "Yeah, I mean, overall it's great. It's great being a father." Anwar thinks for a moment and then holds his finger out as if to make an important point. "And I guarantee you'll love them to pieces."

Thomas nods again. "Oh yes, I already love my little one."

Anwar looks like he's about to cry and he closes his eyes for a whole minute before opening them. He shakes his head. "I miss them, you know?" Anwar sighs. "All of them. My wife, my kids. They'll be so worried."

"We will be rescued soon." Thomas says confidently. He wants to believe it so much, for everyone's sake. Thomas knows that Emily is still unwell; he knows she needs hospital treatment. Anwar needs to be with his family. Thomas has also heard that Cassie is going a bit crazy, though he doesn't understand the situation and why everyone is so angry with her. Thomas thinks everyone has a reason to head back. Especially him and Pandora.

"Yeah." Anwar mutters and then looks up to Thomas again. "I hope so. God, I hope so."

Thomas clasps his hands together and squeezes. He wonders where JJ and Maxxie are. He already misses JJ's awkwardness. Thomas never thought he'd see him again, but now that he has, he misses him.

"I hope JJ and Maxxie come back soon. They've been gone awfully longer than they should." Thomas thinks aloud and watches as Anwar purses his lips.

"Yeah. They should have never bloody gone in the first place though." He looks down to the floor. Thomas thinks Anwar looks extremely worried. "Maxxie only went 'cause we fell out." Anwar shakes his head. "I should've stopped him. I'm so stupid, because now I can't apologize or anything."

"They'll be back soon." Thomas forces a smile and a reassuring nod. It feels fake.

Anwar tries to smile back at Thomas' effort but it ends in a grimace. "They best be."

Tony. Group 2. Day 7.

There's nothing to do on this island. It gets boring pretty fast, and the days somehow seem to drag on. Tony thought they'd all be rescued within a day of finding Effy, but a week has passed since the plane crashed and they are still stuck with no communication with the outer world. Tony's worried they'll never get rescued.

"Hey." A voice says as someone slides down next to him. Tony sees the wild hair before realising it's Michelle. "What's up?" Her voice is soft and gentle. Very different to what she was like the last time he talked to her.

"Just thinking." He replies as he turns to smile at her.

"What about?" Michelle asks as she breaks eye contact and looks out to the sea. Tony can hear the fire crackle behind him. He didn't realise how dark it was getting.

Tony shrugs. "The island, home, being rescued, the gun-"

"The gun?" Michelle repeats and her eyebrows are turning in. "I thought you stopped that. Turned it off or whatever you do to make it not dangerous."

"Well," Tony sighs. He'd lied his whole way through it. Like Tony would ever listen to his dad, he talks shit all the time and Tony wouldn't listen to him even if he were paid. "I said that didn't I?" Michelle nods. "The thing is, I've never used a gun in my life. My dad tried to teach me, but he speaks a load of crap anyway so-"

"Tony." Michelle gasps in shock. "Well, that could go off any second, I mean-"

"Chelle, I know enough to know that someone has to actually _pull the trigger_ for it to actually go off. And now that everyone thinks I disarmed it, they won't bother going near it." He explains and lifts his hands in the air. "See, I did the right thing."

Michelle still looks pretty shocked but her lips are pursed. "I guess."

They sit in silence for a while and Tony likes it. Sharing moments with Michelle. Tony thinks he can get along with anybody; he has a way of manipulating himself into the best position possible. It's so easy for people to like him. But Tony only ever really liked the silences with Effy, Sid and Michelle. Tony never showed it though. _Love_ was an issue Tony Stonem doesn't like to dwell on.

"It was really nice of you." Michelle whispers and Tony has to lean close to hear. "I mean with Emily and everything. It was really nice of you to help her." She looks a little embarrassed and Tony raises his eyebrow.

"You were watching, ey?"

"No." Michelle shakes her head dramatically. "I just happened to see you. She really enjoyed it. The biggest smile I've seen on her face for a while." Michelle stops a minute and then shakes her head. "Well, except now, getting on Naomi again, I guess."

Tony laughs. "Hot."

She slaps his arm but still smiles. "You're gross."

He shrugs and nudges her back. "Yeah well, I was actually having fun with her as well." Tony looks to his side and Michelle looks away suddenly, like she's been caught staring. "Not so selfish now then, huh?"

"Fuck off." Michelle giggles. "You'll always be a selfish twat."

Tony shrugs and smiles down at her. "It's all part of the charm, yeah?"

She rolls her eyes and nods.

Emily. Group 2. Day 7.

She opens her eyes to white and swallows. She's back. It's not that she doesn't like it, it's just that it seems that recently every time she's in this room, it's for trouble or bad news. It takes everything she has not to cry and tell everyone about JJ and Maxxie. But she doesn't want more tension on the island. No one should be in pain yet; they don't have to be suffering loss. Emily doesn't have to tell them.

She looks around immediately, searching for Christopher. He's usually already standing behind her with his arms crossed and a smug look on his face. He suits over confidence best.

"Christopher?" She shouts, but the sound echo's inside the room, there's no walls for it to bounce across. "Are you there?" She turns in a circle faster. She's only been in this room alone a few times, and Christopher has always met her after a few minutes. She feels alone. Really, all she wants to do is go back to Naomi.

"Emily." She hears him say and she finally stops turning and faces him. Her sight is going fuzzy and she has to shake off the dizziness. Christopher doesn't look smug; she sees when she widens her eyes and concentrates. He looks sad and worried. "How are you?" He asks.

"Yeah," She nods, and a big smile spreads across her face without her intending it too. She can't help it. "I'm really good thanks. Should I ask how you are? Or shall I just gauge it from your expression?"

He visibly swallows. Emily can see his throat work down the gulp until it reaches his white shirt and his neck stops. "Emily…" His voice is telling, and Emily knows what's coming. She's been waiting for it, praying it won't come. Christopher coughs and looks at her again. His eyes are sadder than before. "Em-"

"No." She says and shakes her head. She can feel her eyes start to water. This isn't happening. "No. Don't do it, Christopher. Please don't say it. Just… Please."

He shakes his head and walks forward. "Emily, I'm sorry." He whispers and his voice contains such emotion it brings tears to her eyes. "Em, please just listen, okay? It's time."

"But, no." She moves away, wipes at her cheeks. She thought they would be wet. Her eyes feel droopier and more tired. "I _just_ found her, Christopher. You can't do this. She loves me, okay? She fucking _loves_ me. Do you understand?"

"Emily-"

"I have her again. I found her. Don't take me away. I promised Naomi I wouldn't leave. I can't just…" Emily swallows and licks her lips. Her mouth feels dry. "I love her, Christopher."

He nods and reaches out to grab her arm or hand or something. Emily doesn't want it. She doesn't want any of this. She didn't choose it. "I know that, yeah? But there's something _so_ much bigger than you and me and Naomi. This is all so small, Emily. _So_ small compared to what has to happen."

"No." She repeats. "I said no. I won't leave her now. We found each other, and I won't bloody leave her."

"Em, you knew there would come a time." Christopher tilts his head, he's trying to justify something that is impossible to make right. "I told you from the start that this was going to happen."

Emily nods; she blinks away the tears and clears her throat. "So, I'm going to die then? Right?"

Christopher rubs his face. His mouth curves downwards. "Emily-"

"I'm dying?"

"Yes." He closes his eyes. When he opens them, he has tears at the edges. "Emily, I'm going to tell you what has to happen, and then you'll… then it has to happen."

"Shit." She sighs and slumps to the floor. Emily crosses her legs and whimpers into her hands. "I won't get to see Katie?" She looks up and watches as Christopher shakes his head. "And Naomi? I'll never see her afterwards?"

He breathes out heavily. "No."

Emily feels the hot tears against her hands before she realises what they are. She won't ever get to be with Naomi again, they had just found each other and now it has to end. Emily hasn't even told her she loves her. They were going to get off this island and buy a small house up in the posh part of Bristol. They were going to start a family and a life together.

And Katie. Emily can't see her. She's her twin. They've been best friends all their lives and now Emily can't even tell her how much she loves her. She can't teach her how to plant a flower, how to make a bed or how to make a pathetic plate of pasta. Katie won't be able to manage on her own. They've always been together.

"Okay." She mutters to herself and finds herself nodding and standing up. "Okay then." The lump in her throat is pushing to be released, her eyes are throbbing and her heart feels heavy. Emily wants to curl up in bed, smell her old cushion and bury herself between the mattress and the quilt. Emily wants to go home.

"Are you ready?" Christopher asks and reaches for her hands.

"No." She says and finds herself choking up after that simple word. "No, I'll never be ready."

Christopher squeezes her hands and pulls her closer. He rests their foreheads together, his breath is cold. His eyes are shiny with water forced back. "It's going to be okay, Emily."


	11. The Missing Exclamation Marks

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything.**_

_**It takes hours to write; seconds to review.**_

You're ok. Breathe. Just breathe. Open your eyes. Come back. It's ok. It's over now. You're ok. Wake up. Please wake up. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. I love you so fucking much. Come back.  
(Please Find This_; IWroteThisForYou)_

Emily. Group 2. Day 8.

Emily knows what she has to do. She knows everything now. From what should happen to what will happen. It's a little confusing, this whole thing. And if she had a choice she probably wouldn't agree to any of it. But she doesn't. Emily has to be the one to put everything in motion, and then it is up to the others. She becomes irrelevant.

Her chest aches. The sticks are prodding into her legs as she hobbles her way through the trees. She has to remind herself that this is what has to happen. She had to wake up and leave Naomi laying on her own. She had to grab the water bottle and march through the trees before the sun reached the sky. Christopher told her, and she listened.

"_As soon as you enter the forest, you have to turn left."_

"_But," Emily shakes her head. "We came from the right."_

_Christopher nods. "Trust me, Em. Go left."_

The trees seem bigger to the left. There is no pathway or footsteps to walk over either, so Emily struggles to keep balance as she steps over the leaves and twigs and lumpy grass. It's still morning and Emily has to squint her eyes to be able to see the slightest drop of light coming in through the trees. She wishes she could have woken in Naomi's arms again.

She remembers when she was younger and she lost her heart to a tall blonde. Emily fell with all the essence of being naïve and innocent. It had been a pathetic romance and it only worsened when Emily had made a move and Katie caught them with their lips locked. Emily still remembers the feeling of Naomi's hesitant mouth against hers. She had almost sworn it possible to explode.

Emily wouldn't go back though, even if she was given the chance. She'd choose to stay, but Emily doesn't get a choice in anything. She can still feel the whisper of unsure breath, hot against her cheek. The smell of alcohol lingering on Naomi's tongue. Emily has dreamed about that moment a million times. If she remembers back, Emily thinks that she might have spotted the fear in Naomi's eyes. Because it's scary, getting what you want.

Emily had wanted to spend the rest of her life with Naomi, she felt so complete in her presence. And that's the point of happiness, she thinks, being full and complete and happy. But now Emily's desire for anything is a little belated. She knows what has to happen and there is no room for hope or wishes. Christopher had told her.

She's had the night to dwell on it, and she thinks that it's okay. She'll get over a broken heart, and if it all goes as planned, she won't even have one. She can get on with her life and maybe she'll be as happy as she is in Naomi's arms. Maybe there's a chance she can get everything back.

"_You'll come across a river."_ _Christopher says. "This is important, okay?"_

_Emily nods and wipes her eyes. The tears still linger at the corners._

"_All you have to do is fill the bottle with the water. Simple, yeah?" Christopher raises his eyebrows. His eyes are sad and pleading. "But don't drink it. You cannot drink it, you understand?"_

Emily spots the twinkling of the water against the sun before she realizes it's the river. The water looks dirty and a pale brown colour. The edge of the river is surrounded by lots of little stones. All different colours and Emily thinks this would actually make a pretty picture. The edge looks slippy from the water. Dangerous.

She unscrews the cap and starts to limp over the stones. Her bones are still painful and every time she moves the stitches stretch. Her feet start to slip over the stones. Emily leans down and thrusts the bottle into the current. She watches as the water is caught and veers into plastic bottle. She feels guilty for using something that wasn't hers, all the food and drink was just found in the passenger's bags.

She twists the lid back on and struggles to stand. The stones seem wetter and her feet start to lose grip. Emily trips over a large stone and lands flat on the floor. She lets out a loud yelp as she feels an immense pain coming from her lower stomach. It had been where she was given the biggest stitch. When she looks down, there is blood everywhere and a sharp stone is imbedded into her side.

Her eyes widen with the sting as she attempts to pull it out, her eyes are welling up and her nostrils are flared. Emily feels sick with pain. She drops the bottle to hold her side, the blood flowing freely out and spilling onto the stones. The red is travelling down to the river and mixing with the dirty brown.

Emily reaches for the bottle of water with her other hand and struggles to hold it; her hand is slippy from the blood. The plastic slithers right out of her fingers. Her cries are becoming quieter and weaker; she hasn't the strength for any of this.

_"Carry on." Christopher raises his eyebrows and reaches for her hands. "No matter what happens, you have to carry on, okay?"_

_Emily frowns. "What would happen?" She asks in confusion._

_He looks hesitant, his eyes looking all around the room but at her. Christopher squeezes her hands. "Just carry on, okay?" _

Emily pushes herself up and wails with the stinging the action brings. She has to carry on. Her hands are making blood prints on the plastic of the bottle. Her stomach is slowly becoming the colour of her hair. The blood is spreading all around her chest, and her hand pressed to her side is doing nothing to stop it.

Maybe this is how she's going to die, she thinks. Emily doesn't want to die yet though, she hasn't said goodbye and she still needs to get this bottle back to the beach. She hasn't done everything yet. She clenches her teeth and forgets the tears rolling down her cheek. She has to carry on.

Emily sniffs and limps past the stones. The sun is beginning to show through the cracks of the trees more clearly now. She wishes she could appreciate the beauty. Emily's going to die, she knows this. But not yet. She has to finish everything first. She has to fulfil Christopher's wishes. So she carries on.

Pandora. Group 2. Day 8.

Pandora looks out to the sea. She might have gone for a little swim. "Nope." She shouts, scanning the sea for any sign of red. It's a good job Emily's hair isn't blue, she thinks, then they'd never see her in the sea. "She's not in there. I bet it's monkeys cold anyway, anyone'ed be bonkers to swim in it anyways."

"Shit." Naomi's rubbing her hands over her face. "She wasn't ready to go anywhere on her own yet anyway. Her cuts were still fucking verging on bleeding." Naomi's shaking her head and wiping at her eyes.

Effy puts her hand on her arm. "Calm down, yeah?" Naomi frowns at her. "I mean, where was the last time you saw her?"

"I was bloody asleep. I didn't see her."

"Wow, you should totally calm down. Like, I bet she's gone to do a wee or something. It's so not something to worry about." Cassie inputs and Pandora thinks that Naomi's about to rip someone's head off. Her eyes are shooting daggers everywhere.

"This is whizzer crazy. Emily's well safe and that." Pandora looks around again; maybe she missed a spot of red somewhere. "When we find her, I bet she'll laugh at us and we'll feel like right bananas, yeah?"

Michelle throws her arms up and slaps them back down. "Well, why the fuck was no one watching her anyway?" Pandora shrugs and then realises no one was supposed to answer the question. "Em could be in danger or something."

"Oh, oh." Pandora claps her hands and points to the trees. "I see red! Emily's hair is red."

Everyone turns to look and Tony clenches his teeth. "Too much red." He curses before running up to the staggering figure coming out of the bushes.

Jal. Group 2. Day 8.

It's chaos. "Shit, okay." She shouts and gestures for everyone to help with Emily. "Grab her legs. Tony, Sid, take the arms." Her body is limp and there's blood fucking _everywhere_. "Shit, be careful. What the fuck do you think she is?" She yells and studies Emily's face. She's pale and there's blood smeared across her cheeks.

"Oh my… fuck." Naomi's pushing people out the way to try and see Emily. "Em? What the fuck? Emily?" Her voice is panicked and her face is wet from tears. Her eyes are wide. "Emily?" Jal can't deal with this, and people are starting to lose grip of the girl as they walk.

"Effy, get her out of here." Jal screams and nods towards Naomi. "Effy, I said get her away." Jal watches as Effy pulls at Naomi's arm and starts to yank her away. She doesn't mean to be horrible. But this isn't something Naomi should see. And she was slowing them down, pushing the holders out of the way. Jal needs to save Emily.

"She's slipping." Michelle mutters then says it louder. "Fuck, the blood is making me lose grip." Emily's body is becoming white and Jal won't have this. She can't deal with complications,

"Get her to the table." She orders and looks behind at the rocks pushed together. Jal keeps her hands firmly pressed to Emily's waist. "We're nearly there. Hurry up."

The pace picks up and Jal manages to look around and spot who she has with her. Thomas is holding Emily's head, he's staring down with dead eyes. Tony and Sid are at Emily's arms and Michelle and Anwar have her legs. Across for her is Cassie, juggling Emily's waist. Jal knows she can't operate with all of these people.

"Okay, hoist her up." Jal says when her feet hit the stones behind her. "Just lay her across it." Everybody moves around the table so they can gently drop Emily onto it. "Anwar, go and get the medical kit. It's by the food."

"Wow, she's so, like, red." Cassie's eyes are wide and she's looking over Emily's body. "Everything is red. Her hair, her clothes, her body. She's totally covered in red."

Jal rubs the back of her hand across her forehead. She feels the wetness of the blood from her hands. "Cass, go and see if the others need your help." Jal says, she doesn't need someone commentating on everything she's doing; it'll stress her out. She nods and runs off, Cassie loves it when she feels like she has a purpose.

"Right, help me get this top off. I need to get to the source of the bleeding." Jal tells everyone. A million hands reach for Emily's chest and it's off within seconds. She hears Michelle gasp. There's a large slash around her stomach and the stitches have come undone everywhere along her chest. There are so many places the blood is spilling out from.

"Shit, man." Anwar mutters as he throws the medical kit out on front of her. "I'll leave it to you, yeah?" He says and runs back. Jal nods and opens the kit. Her hands are slippy against the box.

"Michelle, take this." She pushes it into Michelle's awaiting hands. "When I ask for something, just hand it to me, yeah?"

"Yeah." Michelle swallows, her eyes are still tracing Emily's cuts. There are tears in her eyes. Jal can't deal with this.

"Michelle?" She urges and Michelle looks up, she looks like she's in a trance. "Are you sure you can you deal with this?" Michelle nods. "Okay then. Pass me the bandages."

Michelle frowns and shakes her head. "Fuck, there aren't any." Her hands are rapidly searching through the box. "There are no bandages."

Jal looks down at Emily's body and closes her eyes. She has to think. Shit. "Okay," She gulps. "Alright, someone take off your shirt." No one moves. "Now."

"Yeah." Tony says and whips his top off his shoulders. "Yeah, here. Take it."

Jal pulls it from his hand and immediately presses it to Emily's stomach. Thomas looks up and begins to stutter. "She's awake. Emily's awake." Jal turns towards the top of her body, her hands are still pressing against the cloth. Emily's mouth is open and her eyes are searching with fear.

"Shit, okay." The top begins to turn red. "Sid, hold this there, you need to apply pressure." Jal grabs his hand and wraps it around the fabric before moving to be closer to Emily's head. "Emily? Can you hear me?"

"Jal?" Emily manages to rasp out. Jal watches her throat work. "Jal, you need to listen, okay?" Emily coughs and closes her eyes in pain.

"What?" Jal asks and places her hand against Emily's cheek so they're facing each other. "I'm listening."

Emily swallows. Her eyes are droopy. "Jal, don't worry." There are tears in her eyes and Jal frowns in confusion. "You can't save everybody." Emily's voice sounds sore and Jal has to flare her nostrils not to cry. There's nothing worse than when a patient realises there is no more hope. "You need to listen to Cassie, okay?"

Jal shakes her head. "Cassie?"

Emily blinks and struggles to open her eyes. "He still loves you." She whispers and tried to gulp. "You have to listen to what she has to say." Jal shakes her head; she didn't even know Emily knew Cassie had caused trouble. Jal's confused, and she doesn't want to think about what Emily's said yet. "You can stop now."

"There's more blood." Sid yells. "Fuck, it's going everywhere."

Jal's eyes are still locked with Emily's. She shakes her head and drags herself away from Emily's weak eyes. "Right." She says and grabs the cloth back from Sid's hands. Jal sniffs and blinks away any tears that dared to emerge. "Michelle, pass me the string and needle."

Emily makes a noise from the top of the table. "Stop." Jal ignores it. "Jal, just stop. There's too much blood." Emily's voice sounds breathless and painful.

"Shut up, Emily." Michelle shouts down to the other side of the table. Her eyes are watery and there are tears running down her cheek. "We're going to fix you, okay? So, shut up."

Jal tries to smile reassuringly at Michelle, but it feels fake across her lips and ugly. She reaches for the string and starts to work it through the needle. She won't give up. Jal is going to save Emily. Everything will be okay.

Michelle. Group 2. Day 8.

Emily's lying beside her with her fingers holding onto Michelle's. The operation finally finished. Jal's lost her voice she had to shout so much. The bleeding has mostly stopped, but everyone's clothes are covered in blood and Emily has had to change into others that Naomi found in the suitcase she saw Katie looking through before she left. Apparently it's Emily's twin's suitcase and Michelle thinks it slightly funny that she has to wear a leopard-print top.

Michelle sits up and watches as the whole group cope with the panic and struggle the last hour had brought. Naomi's the only one still visibly in shock, and she's talking with Jal and Effy. Michelle thinks that it's probably about the operation. She wouldn't leave Emily's side until Effy convinced her that she needed some time to rest.

"Jesus, I was so worried back there." Michelle sighs and lies back down. She squeezes Emily's hand and turns to watch her gazing up at the sky. Her eyes are constantly shiny. "You scared the shit out of me."

Emily nods and turns to look at Michelle. "Thank you, for…" She visibly gulps. "For, saving me. You all brought me time."

Michelle frowns and shakes her head. "No." She says and shuffles closer to Emily. "Em, you are going to be fine. We just have to wait till rescue comes. Then they'll take you to a real hospital and sort you out, yeah?"

Emily closes her eyes and Michelle feels her hand get sweaty. "Okay." She sounds unconvinced.

Michelle lies in silence and studies Emily's face. She's pale and, if she were lying with the departed passengers, Michelle could mistake her for being dead. Her chest aches and she leans forward to leave a gentle kiss on Emily's cheek. Emily turns and smiles at her. But she just looks even sadder.

"What were you doing?" Michelle asks. "I mean, why were you in the forest?" Emily blinks and looks away.

"I'll tell you one day." Emily says and Michelle knows it's a lie, but she doesn't want to push her. "You'll find out soon, anyway." The way Emily talks is distant, like she doesn't care anymore. About anything.

Michelle wants to cry, there's something final about the way Emily is holding herself. She's reserved and completely oblivious. "You will be okay, you know?" Michelle tries to sound as confident as Tony always does. Or as strong as Jal sounds. But Michelle fails and sounds weak and hopeful. Emily isn't convinced.

"I've loved knowing you.'" She whispers and brushes her hand across Michelle's cheek. There are tears in her eyes and Michelle has to swallow. It's like Emily knows this is the end. But it's not, Michelle thinks, because they fixed her. Jal made her better. "I couldn't have got this far without you."

"Why are you saying this?" Michelle mumbles and shakes her head.

"Please don't give up." Emily says and dismissed Michelle's question. "There is an end, okay?" Michelle nods, she doesn't know what Emily is talking about, but she feels compelled to agree. "Thank you, for everything. You were my best friend on this god forsaken island."

Michelle smiles and grips her hand tighter. "You _are_ my best friend."

They look up to the sky with the hands clasped together. Emily leans over and wipes the tears from Michelle's face. She didn't know she had even been crying. "And for fucks sake," Emily starts to grin. "Would you just get with Tony please, because it's bloody frustrating to watch?" Emily laughs, but her eyes are watering up and there are tears running down her cheeks too.

Michelle chuckles and nods. "Yes, Ma'am" She sniffs. They smile at each other for a while and Michelle feels overwhelming sadness. But she doesn't understand, Emily's okay. She feels the need to cry but can't figure out why.

Tony. Group 2. Day 8.

Tony frowns as he walks closer towards Emily. He hasn't seen Emily alone all day; someone always surrounded her. She looks kind of empty all by herself.

"You wanted to see me, lovely?" He smiles, as he gets closer to her. Emily looks up and raises a humorous eyebrow at the nickname. She nods and pats the ground next to her. He takes it happily. "What's up?"

Emily looks at him and her face is suddenly serious. Tony gulps. "There's something you need to know." She says and looks round towards the trees. "Up near the entrance to the forest, there's a water bottle. I dropped it when I collapsed and-"

"You want me to go get it for you?" Tony stretches his legs, ready to jump up at confirmation.

"No." Emily shakes her head but smiles in appreciation. "Not yet anyway." Her voice is instructive and Tony doesn't think he's ever heard it this strong. Not even when they were dancing and she was telling him stories from her past. "It's important that when the time comes, you all drink it. Christopher says-"

"Whoa, wait." Tony raises his arms. "Who's Christopher?" He wonders whether Emily's blood loss has made her make some things up, or hallucinate. Maybe she's been dreaming.

"Tony, he says that time fucked up. We're not meant to be here."

"Em, the plane fucked up. That's why we're here." Tony shrugs and frowns at her. Emily's making no sense and he's a little worried for her sanity right now. "Are you feeling okay, Emily?"

Emily looks out to the rest of the group and squints. "I don't understand it myself, yeah? But we're the puddle. You'll know it soon."

"The puddle?" Tony asks, following Emily's eye-line to the rest of the group, crowding round the fire. "What are you talking about, Emily? I think you need a rest."

"Yeah." Emily nods. "I do."

Tony reaches to lay his hand on her shoulder and squeezes reassuringly. "You'll be fine after a nap, yeah? Just a little disoriented."

Emily turns to look at him, a stern look on her face. "It never rains on this island though. So, remember the bottle."

Tony laughs, Emily is so fucked up right now. He doesn't want to offend her so he nods. "Yeah, I will."

"Hey." Effy's voice is hesitant above them. She smiles at Tony and gestures to Emily. "Mind if I have a word?"

Effy. Group 1. Day 8.

"Feeling better, Emily?" Effy asks as she sits down next to her. Emily tries for a smile, but it just looks depressing and it makes Effy wince.

"I don't know. I guess I'm fine." Emily nods, her head looks like it's about to trip off her head as she moves it. Effy's scared at how fragile she looks.

She looks down at Emily and can't help but let out a little snigger. "Nice fucking top, yeah?" Emily looks down at Katie's clothes. Naomi had seen Katie searching her suitcase and they had all decided it would be better to dress Emily in her sister's clothes rather than a stranger's. Or let her lie in the bloodied ones. "Katie's style really does get better."

Emily runs her hands over the top with a whisper of a smile across her face. Her eyes are suddenly shiny. "Yeah." She nods and giggles a little herself. "Katie's obviously the fashionable one." Her hands grip at the hem of the top, her knuckles turning white. Effy looks away.

"Go looking for her then?" Effy says and nods her head in the direction of the trees. Effy suspected the loss of the passengers would hit people eventually. It's no surprise Emily was affected by it first.

Emily shrugs. "Something like that." She whispers and Effy knows that's not the truth. She can read people easily and Emily doesn't want to talk about the real reason she disappeared this morning. "Eff, will you do me a favour?"

Effy swallows and nods. She hates being relied upon, there's always the chance she'll fail. "'Course."

Emily looks to the floor and when she looks up there are tears in her eyes. She looks drained and empty. "I need you to look after them." Emily closes her eyes and softly brushes her cheeks dry. "I'm not going to be around forever, yeah?"

It feels like the place where Effy should intervene and argue that Emily is perfectly healthy and strong. But she can't, it'd feel like a lie after it left her lips. And Effy knows Emily is already fighting immensely to be alive. She nods and feels her throat ache. Her eyes well up at the conviction from the both of them. It's unknowingly turned into fact.

Emily watches as Effy blinks and agrees. "So, when my time does run out." Emily rubs at her eyes again. "Then, Katie and Naomi will need someone. They're going to be-"

"Everyone will be broken, Em." Effy adds and tries to smile. "Everyone loves you."

Emily shakes her head and looks serious. "Please look after them." She says and sniffs. "I love them both _so_ much, promise me you'll look after them. Katie will be-" She hiccups a slight cry and rubs her face. "I really love them."

Effy watches as Emily wipes roughly at her eyes and has to blink back her own tears. Effy's going to fucking kill the plane company when she gets back. Kill them really slowly. Emily looks up at her with red eyes, and Effy hates herself for noticing how shaky Emily's hands are. "Okay." She whispers and Effy has to cough to get her voice back.

Naomi. Group 1. Day 8.

Naomi's going to be sick. Her heart is clenched so tight; she thinks she'll never be able to breathe properly again. She's never felt so fucking helpless and scared in her entire life. Her eyes have been producing tears like a river produces water into the sea. Her face feels tight. It's all just fucking shit.

It's dark now, and the fire seems further away than it ever has. There's no moon out tonight and the sky feels suffocating. She feels like it's a big black hole come to swallow her up.

Emily starts coughing next to her and she's kneeling over her in seconds. She brushes the hair from off her cheek and runs her fingers over Emily's lips. Emily tries to smile up at her. "You okay?" Naomi whispers and checks over Emily's body. There's no sign of more blood. Not yet. "Emily?"

"Yeah." She rasps out and her voice still sends shivers down Naomi's body. Emily blinks and there are tears on the surface of her eyes. Naomi reaches for them immediately and tries to kiss them away. She can feel Emily's cold breath against her cheek.

"Emily, don't cry." She begs and reaches for her hand. Naomi holds onto her fingers tightly and brushes her lips against the palm. "Where does it hurt?"

"Everywhere." Emily mumbles and swallows hard. Naomi frowns and blinks away as many tears as she can. It breaks her heart to see Emily in pain. "It aches… everywhere." Her voice is weak and the black night swallows the sound up.

"Well then," Naomi brushes her eyes and tries to nod reassuringly. "I'll make it better, everywhere."

Emily shakes her head and narrows her eyes. Her nostrils are flared. "I love you." Naomi's breath gets caught in her throat. She hasn't actually heard Emily say that yet, not since two years ago. Not since the door had slammed behind her and Naomi had fallen to the floor and cried until there was nothing left. Naomi doesn't think there's any water left inside her now.

Naomi closes her eyes and nods. She feels her hot tears runing down her face and she thinks that maybe she's not empty. She has Emily. "God, Em." She sniffs and holds Emily's cheek with her free hand. "I love you, so fucking much." Emily smiles and for the first time in that night, it looks real. "I've _always_ been in love with you."

Emily bites her bottom lip and looks up to Naomi with _such_ sad eyes. "I wish I could be with you always. I wish we could make this last forever." Emily reaches up and brushes away Naomi's tears. Her hand is pale and cold.

"What?" Naomi frowns and shakes her head. "No, Em. We _will_ be together always. What are you talking about?"

"I feel so cold." Emily says as she looks up to the blanketed sky. "Like, there's no more blood left and I just… I'm so cold." Naomi's eyes widen and she looks down to Emily' chest. Her heart stops.

There's a large patch of blood dampening Emily's top. It's growing larger by the second. "What? No." Naomi shakes her head, she's so confused. This isn't meant to happen. Emily's meant to be fine. "Shit. What do I do, Emily?"

Emily shakes her head and her cheeks are shiny from how wet they are. Her whole body is shaking as she cries. "Naomi, I really love you."

"No. No. No." Naomi looks around in a panic. "Emily, how do I save you? What do you want me to do?" She can't breathe, her heart hurts. There's an ache low in her chest and she feels like she's going to throw up. "Em, you promised me you'd stay. You said you wouldn't leave me."

"I'm sorry." Emily breathes out and her eyes are gradually dropping lower. "I…"

"Fuck. This isn't happening." Naomi shakes her head and buries herself in Emily's neck. It smells like home. This can't go away. "Tell me this isn't happening, Emily?"

She can feel Emily swallow. Her neck is cold against Naomi's lips. "Naomi, we'll see each other again. We'll find each other."

"No, because I have you now." Naomi pulls away and studies Emily's face. She can see the figures of some of the survivors, appearing at Naomi's raised voice. But they're just shadows. They aren't important. Emily's the only one that matters. "Just, hold on, okay?"

"There's nothing you can do, Naoms." Emily whispers and then gulps a harsh breath in.

"There's _always_ something."

"I feel cold." Emily closes her eyes and swallows. "Naomi?"

Naomi shakes her head and nods it at the same time. "Yeah." She says and wraps Emily up in her arms and tugs her closer so she's resting on her knees. "I'm here." She nods and her heart is breaking. Her eyes are draining her. "I'll keep you warm, okay?"

Emily tries to nod. She can hear mumbles from the others as they all stop and watch. "Yeah." Emily sounds hopeful. "You always make me warm." She sounds childlike. Naomi can feel the blood on her stomach as she pushes them closer together. "I love you, you know that, Naomi?"

Naomi nods and sniffs. Her cheeks are running with water and her whole body feels too heavy. "I love you, Emily Fitch." Naomi whispers against Emily's lips. "I'll always love you."

Emily nods and hums in agreement. Her eyes are closed and her body is limp. Naomi pushes her eyes shut and buries her face beneath Emily's jaw again, presses her cheek against her neck. It smells like home.


	12. The Day After The Crash

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything.**_

_**It takes hours to write; seconds to review.**_

The sun still, surprisingly, came up and shone down onto the cold, metal leftovers. No loud noises. No screams. No breaking glass. Just silence and sunshine. You would be forgiven for thinking that this all happened on another planet. It didn't.  
(Please Find This_; IWroteThisForYou)_

Effy. Group 1. Day 9.

They're so close its almost looks like they're moulded together. Effy thinks it's probably always been that way. They were always meant to be together. She had watched from the sidelines, back in college, as they stumbled around their feelings. But they had known. She had known. It was always meant to end with them as the sickly sweet couple.

Not like this, Effy thinks. It was never ever meant to end like this.

This is one reason why she's glad she was never there to witness Freddie's last breath. Or to watch the blood emerge from his delicate body. It's heartbreaking to watch. Effy doesn't even want to think about the way she would be feeling if it was actually her.

"We can't let her stay there." Sid says from behind her. The sun is barely up but the light twinkles off the metal around his glasses. Effy hates that the whether is consistently sunny on a day like this. She'd rather it be grizzly or at least something to mark a difference. It's not just a normal day. "It's not right."

"Well then, what do you fucking suggest?" Tony hisses, and his face is contorted with anger. They all look forward towards Naomi and the limp body cradled in her hands. The sight always brings tears to her eyes and she has to blink them away. "Her girlfriend has just died, you fucking twat."

"Tony." Jal warns and places a hand on his arm. "Don't take it out on Sid. He's right, it's not healthy for her to become attached to a dead body."

Michelle whimpers and rubs her eyes again, they're bulging red. "It's not a bloody 'dead body', it's Emily." She says and buries her face beneath her hands again. Her eyes are on constant flow. Jal looks down guiltily.

"Right." Effy whispers and her voice sounds rough and hoarse. Emily asked her to look after the two people she loves most in this world, and that's exactly what she's going to do. Effy won't let her down. "I'll go."

She doesn't wait for the other's response. Effy doesn't think anyone would intervene or disagree anyway; they're all too scared to be a part of this. She knows Jal has been through this before, but so has Effy, to some extent. Freddie died. But while Effy was still delusional and hyped up from cutting her wrists and taking prescription drugs constantly, Naomi has nothing and no one.

As she walks closer, she sees that Naomi's mouth is moving and she's speaking to Emily. Her eyes are empty and her skin is verging on becoming the colour of the girl beneath her. It's a sick picture and if Effy's heart hadn't already broken two years ago, it definitely would have by now. Naomi's slowly rocking forward and backwards, her arms tightly wrapped around Emily.

"Naomi?" Effy stops just above the two of them. Naomi doesn't move or show any sign of acknowledging her presence. She's oblivious to everything around her except the girl lying against her knees. "Naomi, do you want to come with me? Get some rest or…" She doesn't know how to speak or what to say. There's nothing she can do to make up for this.

"I can't leave Emily." Naomi whispers and her voice cracks at the name. She continues to stare down at the ghostly body beneath her.

Effy swallows and nods. "Okay. Why don't we just let Jal look over her?"

Naomi shakes her head and drags her hand across Emily's lips. They look scaly and washed out. "I can't leave Emily." She repeats, her voice is wavy and weak. "She might wake up without me."

Effy blinks and feels her stomach drop. She rubs at her eyes and catches a few stray tears. "Naomi," She murmurs. "She's not going to wake up."

Naomi bends down and pushes her forehead against Emily's and Effy winces at the action. When Naomi pulls away, Effy notices how Emily's cheeks are wet from Naomi's fallen tears. Effy has to look away.

"She will." Naomi nods with conviction. She's tracing her fingers along Emily's face now. Across her eyes and over her cheeks, rising with the nose. "Emily said she wouldn't leave so…" She trails off. Effy doesn't know what to do or what to say to that. She knows Emily won't wake up, and she thinks Naomi knows it too.

"Come on." She holds out her hand in front of Naomi as she bends low to the floor. Naomi looks beside her at Effy for the first time, and her face is so disastrous and _hurt_, Effy can only blink in silence. "I can't make this go away, Naomi. But I promised Emily that I would look after you." Effy breathes in and rubs her eyes roughly. She doesn't want to cry. "So, that's what I'm going to do."

Naomi sniffs and her fingers hover just above Emily's heart. There's blood all over her body, and her chest looks cold. "Emily always makes sure I'm okay, yeah? She sent you, didn't she? Because she loves me."

Effy kneels to the floor and drops her shoulders. "Yeah." She mutters and watches as Naomi moves her hand to grab hold of Effy's. The grip is tight and Effy would complain if it were any other person on any other day. But she thinks Naomi might need to hold on tight, else she'll just collapse to the floor. "She really did love you."

Naomi breathes in and falls into Effy's body. "She _does_." She nods and Effy wraps her arms around Naomi's back. Her body is shaking with cries and Effy just hugs her more forcefully. Naomi's hand is still tugging Emily's and Effy fears she'll never let go. "She said she'll always love me."

Effy nods and strokes her hair.

Michelle. Group 2. Day 9.

The sea is rushing back and forth, the water crashing and turning into a thin layer of white froth. It's what always happens when the sea collides with the sand. It's normal, and it makes Michelle want to throw up. The morning is like any other morning. The sun rises, the trees sway against the wind, and the sea crashes in. But it's not normal. She feels drained and fucking confused, because what is she meant to do now.

Emily's gone. It's a fucking lie and understatement and a shitty way to put it. Because she's not really gone, she's lying in the middle of the beach with blood fucking _everywhere_. She's not gone. Michelle hiccups into her hand and wipes at her wet eyes. Her hair is sticking to her face, but she hasn't the strength to pry it away. Michelle doesn't thinks she'll be able to do anything again.

_"I've loved knowing you."_

Michelle closes her eyes tightly and imagines Emily sitting beside her, entwining their fingers together. She hears jokes about Naomi and Tony and how fucking useless it is to be in love. Michelle can feel the water drip down her cheek and she doesn't care that all the tears are making her lips taste salty, or that her top is beginning to stick to her skin.

"_You were my best friend on this god forsaken island."_

"You okay?" Michelle's eyes are ripped open at the sound of Tony's voice. He sits next to her and crosses his knees over the sand. She wants to slap him and scream that it's a stupid fucking question. No one is okay. No one will ever be okay after watching and feeling this.

She shrugs instead though. Tony has done nothing to her; she doesn't want to start a fight when she thinks as soon as she opens her mouth she'll just let out a loud cry anyway. If she's honest, crying would probably be the only way of expressing what she's feeling right now. And the lump in her throat is becoming evermore stronger and harder to force down.

"Yeah." Tony nods and casually slips his arm over shoulder. She doesn't protest, Michelle feels so shit she actually appreciates the gesture and leans into him. "Everything's pretty shit right now, yeah?"

"Emily was special." Michelle manages to breath out, and her eyes well up all over again. "I thought we fixed her." She buries her head into his chest and he rests his chin against it. Tony starts to shush her quietly as she makes wet patches on his shirt. He had to find his suitcase for more clothes; he'd given them all to aid Emily.

"She was in a lot of pain, Chelle." He whispers and his voice is soothing and practised. It does nothing to comfort her. "She'll be a lot happier now."

Michelle pulls away and struggles to balance. She shakes her head and climbs to her feet. She feels wobbly. "She was happy here." She says before walking away. Her feet feel incredibly heavy and her eyes feel tired. Michelle knows that Emily would prefer to be here; it just makes her feel fucking sick.

Cook. Group 1. Day 9.

Angelina Jolie has huge lips; she'd probably be a fucking sick kisser and ace in bed. Jennifer Aniston is well fit though, so Cook's a little confused. He rubs his chin and shakes his head.

"Nahh, babe. I think he shoulda' done 'em both and kept at it, yeah?" He concludes and watches as Katie scowls. He's happy with his answer. Katie asks pathetic questions anyway, she can't really expect a proper thought out answer.

"No." She says and hits him on his arm. He yells out even though it doesn't hurt. It makes life more interesting if he exaggerates. "Brad was well wrong. Jennifer was always so nice." She looks at him to gauge a reaction. He shrugs. "Whatever. I'd rather do Jen any day."

Cook raises his eyebrows and chuckles to himself. "Would you now?" He sneers and winks at her when she turns to him with a frown.

"Fuck off." Katie mutters and kicks a twig out of the way. "I'm no lezza like Emily, yeah? I'm just sayin'," Katie rolls her eyes. "Brad made the wrong decision, Jen's hotter."

"Yeah well." Cook smiles down at her in his best sleazy expression. "You're hot."

Katie laughs and Cook swears he can see a slight blush growing on her cheeks. "Right fucking smooth, James." She sniggers and pushes him away with a big smirk on her face. "Carry on like that and I'll be well in your fucking pants." Cook nods and winks again. "Or knickers." She adds.

"Ermm, no mate. I think the dehydration is making you fucking mental, yeah?" He skips right up and close next to her side, his arm flings over her shoulder. "Want some of my juice?"

"You're fucking disgusting." Katie leaves his arm there, 'cause she's well hot for Cook, and slaps his hand. "I think I just puked up in my mouth a little."

"Babe," He chuckles and uses his free hand to pull at the hem of his t-shirt. "We both know we're gunna' shag soon. Why don't we just get to it right fucking now?"

"I'll shag you, Cook." Katie nods and looks up at him with seductive eyes. He wiggles his eyebrows at her. "In you're bloody dreams."

Cook laughs even more and bends forward. He shakes his head and forces his cackle out. "Nahh babe, we've already done it plenty of times in there." Katie looks up and raises an eyebrow. "Real dirty, yeah? In a fucking public alleyway and we're both fucking out of it. Up against a brick wall," Cook hasn't actually had this dream, but he carries on because Katie's face is becoming more and more repulsed.

"And you want it well bad." He smiles and nods at her. She snorts in disgust. "So I push you against the bricks and get my fucking _humongous_ cock out with the sick tattoo. You says something about how big it is and then you pull down your-"

Her lips push hard against his and he stops trying to talk immediately. He remembers this feeling, from when he was off his face, just before he saw Fredster. Katie's lips feel so fucking good and he pushes back with force, bringing his hand to pull her neck forward. She doesn't complain, so he opens their mouths and tries to stick his tongue in to make it real nice and dirty. He thinks Katie's probably best at that kind of kiss anyways.

She pulls away and sniggers at him. "Now…" Katie breathes and flares her nostrils to try and gain enough oxygen. Cook thinks she still looks hot with a monster-sized nose. "Will you please shut the fuck up?"

Cook smiles and nods. "Yeah, babe." He throws his arm over her shoulder again and moves close to her ear. "You fucking loved that." He whispers and skips along with satisfaction as he watches Katie's grin grow wider.

Cassie. Group 1. Day 9.

The beach is totally silent, it's the first time Cassie has heard nothing but the waves from the sea and the rustling from the leaves. Everyone is mourning Emily's loss in different areas of the beach. They're all making sure to keep away from others, especially Naomi. Cassie can see that nobody can deal with the complete destruction of Naomi. Even Effy looks like she's struggling.

Cassie doesn't really know what to do with herself. She's never really handled grief or loss well anyway. The last time she saw a dead body was when Chris was jittering in her arms with a bloodied nose and a brand new stolen shirt. She'd took off as soon as she could, as far as she could get and ended up in the rough part of New York. Cassie can't do that now. The last two sets of people that had taken off on this beach still hadn't returned.

Sid's still not talking to her, and he was the only person that had saved her last time. At the lovely little café she attended as her first real job. He'd come in for a mug of tea and had dropped it steaming on the floor. But Sid's still in denial about her seeing Chris and no one will listen to her. Chris never warned her that would happen.

She thinks though, that maybe Chris knew that Emily would die. He'd said something about someone dying, and that they couldn't save her. She wants to be more upset at the death of Emily, but she kind doesn't care about anything right now. It's like the feeling she used to get back in college when she was ignored and sent to the special building that force-fed her mashed up banana's and watered down porridge. She never really mattered back then.

Cassie turns at the sound of footsteps approaching. She thinks that she's never heard people coming up to her on the beach before, they kind of just shocked her by their presence. It shows how quiet it is. "Jal." She says and makes sure to open her mouth wide at the name. "What a shock."

"Cass, it's not the kind of day for being cruel, okay?" Jal says and slides down next to her. Cassie thinks it's kind of rude, because she didn't offer up a seat next to her. She doesn't want to be scolded again.

Cassie narrows her eyes. "What do you want then, Jal?" She asks and raises her eyebrow. The sea crashes in and laughs at their exchange. "'Cause I'm so not in the mood to be told off, yeah? I feel totally shit as well."

Jal shrugs. "I don't want to tell you off." She looks away and Cassie notices how uncomfortable her posture is. It's like she doesn't even want to be here. "I just wanted to…" Jal swallows hard and looks back up to Cassie's wide eyes. "Emily told me that I should listen to you and… And I guess it's the least I could do, seeing as though she's…" Jal trails off and doesn't look like she's going to say anymore.

"Wow." Cassie blinks. She wonders why Emily would say that. Maybe she was on a secret mission from Chris as well. Whatever the reason, Cassie suddenly feels her heart ache for the deceased girl. "Wow, this is totally crazy."

Jal sighs. "Cassie, will you just tell me? I'll go if you're going to be like-"

"Wow, okay, chill." Cassie holds her hands up. "I'll like, tell you." She says and looks back out to the sea. "But I'm totally telling the truth and if you shout at me again, then I'll never tell you. 'Cause I'm only trying to be lovely."

Jal nods in understanding. "Yeah." She blinks.

"So, I saw Chris." Cassie starts and checks Jal's expression. There's a mini frown and Cassie rolls her eyes. "He said that you can't save everybody. You totally did your best, and so it was so not your fault." Jal's eyes are shiny and she's slowly nodding along to the words. "You couldn't of saved her, 'cause she was always going to die." Cassie swallows.

"Shit." Jal whispers and turns to face the body of Emily. Naomi had been dragged away and Michelle is standing above it looking down and roughly wiping her eyes. "You don't think he was talking about…?" Jal shakes her head. "Chris is dead."

"It was his ghost." Cassie adds. "Probably."

Jal blinks for at least thirty seconds before shaking her head again. She wipes her eyes like there was meant to be something beneath them. "Emily said he still loves me." She mutters and then faces Cassie. "Cass, Chris is dead. Why is everybody trying to bring him back?"

Cassie shrugs. "Maybe Emily saw his ghost too." She watches Jal think for a few minutes and then she looks out to the sea again. It looks slower, softer and calmer. She doesn't want to think about her and Emily being one of the same. Like the chosen two. Because she doesn't want to die like that. Cassie's always thought she'd be the one to choose when she dies.

_"After she dies, it's all going to be turmoil. Fucking chaos."_

Cassie gulps and shakes off Chris' words.

Anwar. Group 1. Day 9.

It's so fucking depressing. Anwar feels a pain deep in his chest. He wasn't close to Emily; he hadn't really had a proper conversation with her at all. But it was hard not to feel like crying when he looked in Naomi's direction and he would just catch her talking to herself or sinking into Effy's lap. He can't imagine losing any member of his family.

Anwar doesn't want to be on this island any longer. Maxxie has deserted him, and everyone is walking around with an awkward look as they skirt past each other and try not to fall to the floor in hopeless cries. He's waited for rescue, and there is still no sign that anyone is going to come. Food and drink is on short supply and he doesn't think anyone will be able to last another week without going extremely mad or depressed.

There is another way though. And Anwar has tried not to think of it, because it's a bloody stupid idea. It probably wouldn't even work. But as he looks out towards the sea, he thinks that there's a possibility. He just can't stand being away from his family. He can't stand being alone on this bloody island.

And after watching Emily die last night, Anwar's becoming more and more scared about the millions of dangers in this island. From what he can gather, Emily just went for a walk, and she came back with a deep gash in her stomach and now she's dead. He doesn't want to think about who could be next.

He's tired of waiting like everybody else. Waiting for rescuers, waiting for safety, waiting for the next day and the next spoonful of food and drop of water. He doesn't want to fucking _wait_ anymore. Nothing will happen if everybody just waits and does nothing. So, he wants to reach out. He wants to try and save everybody. Then he can see his wife and his children. If he succeeds, he can go home and never leave again.

So, maybe there is a chance that he could survive. Maybe the water won't be as cold as it looks. Anwar thinks that maybe, just maybe, he could swim to safety.

Thomas. Group 2. Day 9.

Pandora is staring at the body, he eyes are bulging out and her eyebrows raised high. It's the second dead body she's ever seen, he remembers a club and a drugged up girl falling from a balcony. Thomas thinks it's probably a normal reaction. But Pandora also hasn't spoken at all. Not since she asked what was going on in the darkness of night as everyone gaped at Naomi's rocking figure holding a not-yet-dead Emily.

Effy hasn't looked at the body yet, after dragging Naomi away from the limp redhead she's spent the whole day trying to calm her and get her to go to sleep. Thomas had come over to try and help and Pandora had mutely followed, her eyes leaving the body for mere minutes.

"She's asleep." Effy whispers, and Thomas watches as Pandora jumps at the sudden sound. "Naomi's finally fallen asleep." Effy sounds tired and Thomas places a hand gently on her knee for comfort. She looks like she's going to cry, but she tries to smile appreciatively at him anyway.

"You have been a very good friend, Effy." He says and squeezes her leg. "It is very lovely of you. But, are you okay?"

Effy swallows and nods delicately. "I don't think anyone's going to be okay for a while, Thomas." She looks down at Naomi and brushes the hair from her sticky cheek. Naomi's clothes are still covered in blood, but no one wants to ask her to take it off. She probably wouldn't hear them even if they did.

"Emily was loved a lot." Thomas nods and watches as Effy winces. Pandora hums in agreement, her eyes still glued to the body lying still in the middle of the beach. No one knows what to do with her, they can't just leave the body at the centre of the beach, but it'd be incredibly disrespectful to put it with the other dead bodies. Emily was special.

Thomas watches Naomi's chest move up and down as she breathes in and out. It's a relief she had fallen asleep, to say the least. Thomas was worried about her sanity; she'd started to talk to herself and everything. Though, he doesn't know what he'd be like in her position. He doesn't even want to try and imagine losing Pandora or the unborn baby. They mean way too much to him.

He still remembers Emily in her college years. If he closes his eyes he can just about feel the cold concrete beneath his feet as he stood by a bus shelter and held Emily against his chest. Thomas can see the smears of lipstick running off her lips and the black mascara cascading down her cheeks. The cold air brought goose bumps to his skin.

_"I'm gay, Thomas."_

She'd told him like the world could end. Like everything they ever knew could come falling down at the whisper of her words. Thomas had shrugged it off. It wasn't important to him. A person was a person. He didn't care about anything in between. That night her face had slumped into such relief at the nonchalance he showed. Emily was a beautiful person, inside and out. That's what had always mattered.

"Do you think she knew she was going to die, Tomo?" Pandora asks and looks round at Thomas. Her face is pale and she's gripping her hands round her big stomach tightly. Her eyes are red.

"Yes." Effy says before Thomas has a chance at answering. "Emily knew she couldn't make it. And she accepted it and did it fucking gracefully." She speaks with conviction and there's an air of admiration around her words. Effy nods and looks over to the body. "Emily died with dignity."

Effy wipes her eyes and then looks down at Naomi. The girl looks broken even in sleep. Thomas doesn't know how Naomi will cope. He doesn't know how Katie will cope when she gets back. Emily's death will have a catastrophic effect on everybody. And Thomas doesn't think anybody can guess how much.

Naomi. Group 1. Day 9.

Her eyes aren't wet anymore and her clothes aren't stained with blood. She's in a car park that Naomi distinctly remembers. Not for good reasons. She walks forward and round a building and her worst nightmare is confirmed. Shit. It's fucking Roundview College. Of all bloody places to be dreaming of.

The wind whips around her and Naomi feels her neck become unusually cold. When she brings her hand to the back of her head, her breath catches. It's the same short hair she used to have after she had cut it all off for a new start at college. It's the same haircut as it was the first year of Roundview.

She's wearing her tacky floral blazer she used to obsess over as well, and her hair is platted to the side. Fuck, she thinks, it's the first day of Roundview. Naomi still remembers looking through her closet for the clothes that would make the biggest statement. She cringes and curses herself for being so fucking naïve. Like anyone gave a fuck about her in this shit-hole. Except, no, because someone did.

Student surround her and all crowd towards the double doors at the entrance of the college. Most of them bloody fail anyway, she remembers cringing at the exam results in the school league tables. Second from last. She recognises some of them, and then it clicks. Emily will be here.

Her heart clenches at the thought of her and she can't breath. She'd do anything to see Emily again. To touch her, or talk to her or even fucking watching her breathing would be good enough. Maybe they're all just dreaming and Emily will recognise her.

Naomi starts to walk towards the steps, her pace becoming faster and faster at the prospect of seeing Emily. She almost can't breathe she's so excited. She's almost through the double doors until a hand grabs her arm and pulls her back to the walls.

"Whoa, babe. You nearly tripped." A guy says and winks. Naomi remembers all the sleazy guys at Roundview and, frankly, she doesn't give a fuck about anyone other than Emily. She'll fucking trip all she likes.

"No I wasn't." She hisses and pulls her arm out of his grip. His smile remains. "I don't give a fuck if that's the way you hit on girls. By pretending you saved them or what the fuck. But I'm not interested, yeah?" The guy raises his eyebrow in a cheeky manner, he's bloody persistent, she'll give him that. "So, fuck off."

He holds his hands up in surrender. "Okay, you got me." He laughs. "You weren't gunna fall. I just wanted to talk to you." He drops his hands and Naomi has to clench her teeth not to punch him in the face. She turns to walk away but his hand stops her again. When she swivels round with her mouth ready to shout, she's met by an outstretched hand. "Christopher." He smiles.

She sighs and stares daggers at his hand. "I don't give a fuck who you are."

"You're new here," Christopher nods. "I'll show you around."

Naomi's glad to find her attitude from the first year is back. This version of herself won't be fucking messed with. "No, you bloody well won't." She protests and then looks around with confusion. Her voice is louder than it was. Everyone that had been pushing by her is gone and they aren't outside anymore. "What the fuck?"

Christopher walks down the long stretch of lockers. They're inside the building now and Naomi recognises where she is immediately. "I assume you haven't yet met your form?" He says with confidence and she follows him until they're standing outside her registration room.

"No." She shakes her head. "I mean, no you're wrong. I have met them before." Naomi swallows and remembers her first registration; she remembers Emily's shy glances all the way through the lesson. Naomi had fucking hated Emily back then, she couldn't stand the way she made her feel.

"You have?" Christopher asks, and there's no real surprise in his voice. He's as fake as Gordon Brown's fucking speeches. "Well, you first then." He gestures towards the door. Naomi gulps and nods.

"Right, yeah." Her hand is suddenly clammy as she presses down on the door handle and opens it with a hard push. She stumbles through the entrance to the room and stops to look around. She finds Emily immediately.

Her red hair is just as vibrant as Naomi remembers it was that day. Her yellow bag it pushed high on her shoulder and her eyes are deep and happy. She always seemed so happy. Emily looks up at the sound of the creaking door, and her smile is somewhat questioning. Naomi's heart is breaking as every second passed. The realisation kicks in hard.

"She doesn't know me." Naomi mumbles and blinks away the tears. Emily tilts her head and looks around to fix back on her sister.

Christopher places a hand on her shoulder, and she doesn't even fucking know him, but there's a sense of understanding between them. "But she's alive." He whispers. "And isn't that better?"

Naomi swallows. It's all a dream, she remembers. Maybe when she wakes up Emily will be alive. Maybe Naomi will be able to brush her fingers across her cheek and kiss her mouth until her lips feel bruised. Maybe they'll be able to lie next to each other with their palms pressed tightly together as they watch the pale clouds float above them.

"I thought…" Naomi trails off and flares her nostrils. Emily looks better here. Her cheeks flow with colour and her smile radiates happiness. Naomi wants to be sick; she wants to go back to the real first day. To when Emily would hang off every word Naomi would say. When if Naomi strolled over to her and pulled her close, Emily would kiss back with as much force. Naomi wants Emily.

Christopher grips at Naomi's hand and leans close to her ear. Her eyes are filling with tears. "Don't you want her to be happy?" His voice is accusing and Naomi recoils away from it immediately. "Is this not what you want?"

Naomi wants the best for Emily. She always has. But… "All I've ever wanted is Emily." She rasps out, and feels her words deep in her heart. Emily looks over again and her smile is friendly. Not lovingly. Not guilty. Not endearing. This isn't her Emily. She'd do _anything_ to have her Emily back.

_"I think you need someone to want you. Well, I do want you. So be brave, and want me back''_

"No." Naomi shakes her head and watches as Emily looks around, uncomfortable from Naomi's stare. "This isn't right. This isn't my Emily. I want mine." She pushes her hand against her eyes and notes the wet patches on the back of her hand. "Jesus, I just need Emily."

"This is the way it's meant to be, Naomi." Christopher says and his eyes are serious. Naomi doesn't know what's going on. She doesn't understand. Naomi steps back and tries to run out the door, but there's a sudden crowd of people blocking her.

She turns to frown at Christopher and sees him leaning against the wall. They're outside again and Naomi shakes her head in confusion.

"You'll know what to do, Naomi." Christopher nods and pulls a cigarette to his lips. He takes a drag and smiles sympathetically at her. "It's all going to be alright." He breathes out and then turns his back to her and walks away.


	13. The World Shoved Me

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything.**_

_**It takes hours to write; seconds to review.**_

And you can tell when you look at them that it's everyone else who made them this way. Or maybe just, someone else.  
(Please Find This; _IWroteThisForYou_)

Cook. Group 1. Day 10.

His stomach rumbles. Like, makes a fucking growl or something. It doesn't even make a sloshing sound or a gurgle, 'cause there's no fucking liquid in his belly to tremble with. So, it comes out as a kind of bark. He looks away from Katie's questioning glare, because he's fucking hungry, yeah, but he doesn't want to annoy her again or endure another gob off about how he should be more concerned about Emily rather than his fucking stomach.

He folds his arms round his belly and winks in Katie's direction. She scowls back.

"Babe, I bet we'll be back to camp by tonight, yeah?" He says and he's probably more excited about getting a proper nights sleep than anything. Even more than some food and drink. He's so tired all the time; he's managed to close his eyes for a total of three hours in four days. It takes the fucking piss. Sometimes he even sees things that aren't really there, like it's a bloody hallucination or something.

Katie shrugs. "S'pose that's good then." Her face doesn't show it. "The sooner we fill up our bag, the sooner we can carry on looking for Ems, yeah?"

His answering nod is wistful. He wants to find Emily, 'cause she's his Emilio and everything. But Cook just wants to fucking lie down and not feel the need to spot red from the corner of his eye. He wants to have a conversation with Katie that doesn't include finding Emily.

He's not jealous of them. Not Emily nor Katie. Not jealous of their close relationship. Not jealous at how much Katie needs Emily and no one else. Cook gets it, kind of. So, sure, he'd like it if Katie showed him some attention once in a while, he did fucking get them this far, yeah, but he's not jealous. He doesn't like Katie in that way anyway. Besides, he doesn't want to think about Katie's hot mouth moving against his. Fucking stop.

"Thanks, Cook." Katie murmurs, like it's a fucking embarrassment that she dares to be fucking nice. "Like, I reckon you've been alright company, yeah? Not the fucking best, but whatever." Cook laughs and raises his eyebrow suspiciously. He's always bloody great company. "Bit shit, really."

He's full on laughing now, his hand pressed to his side as his mouth gapes wide open. Cook fucking loves sarcasm, he thinks it's the best way to express you're feelings. "Darlin', you fucking love me." He chuckles and watches as Katie smirks in his direction. She wants him so bad.

"Not fucking much." She purses her lips and looks him up and down. "I just have to stick with you until I find my sister, then you can get to fuck."

He sniggers and shakes his head. "Nahh, mate. You love me, little girl." He runs his hands up his body and down in a sick gesture to show off his right fit body. "You just can't admit you want this, yeah?"

Katie laughs and pushes at his shoulder. "Maybe." She shrugs in a teasing manner. "But then again…" Her eyes travel up and down his body, linger on his crotch. "Maybe I don't."

Cook loves it, this bickering. The girls he shags are just good at one thing, sex. Effy was different, but he never managed to get a whole conversation out of her. She was mysterious, fit and completely unattainable. It's what he fucking loved about her. But he never had this banter. Katie's a fucking whiz at comebacks.

"Babe," Cook smiles and continues to walk with his hands half way up his top and his back almost bent backwards. He's never fully upright, never fully _right._ "Wanna hear about my best top notch shag?"

"No."

"It were in a club, yeah?" His eyes are watching her as he speaks, his body is facing forward. "She had right fucking mint-"

"_Jesus._" Katie almost sounds annoyed. Almost jealous, yeah? "I said no fucking thank you." Cook laughs and shrugs. He thinks he might tell her later, just to see her frustrated pout again. It's fucking hilarious.

Anwar. Group 1. Day 10.

"Don' be fucking stupid, it won't work."

"You're being a twat. Just… come on."

Anwar shakes his head. There's no convincing him, he's made up his mind. He thinks he made it up a long time ago, but tossing and turning last night set him straight. This is the only way he can right things. It's the only way he'll be able to see _them_.

"No." He says and crosses his arms. Anwar's eyes trace the waves coming in and out, they look slow and gentle. He can swim against that easy. He's just slightly worried about the cold. But he's been camping in the winter before, he's had to lie surrounded by ice and snow and he was fucking _freezing_. He can handle a chilly sea. "I can do this."

"No, you fucking can't." Tony shouts back and his voice is murderous. Anwar thinks if he goes back now Tony will probably kill him anyway. His face is contorted horribly; it had begun to narrow as soon as Anwar began telling them all of his wishes. No one agreed or supported him. Naomi didn't give a shit, so he counted her as a go.

"Anwar, you're shit at swimming." Jal yells. She knows nothing, he thinks, because his wife taught him how to be fucking great, actually. He steps into the waves and breathes in heavily from the cold. "You'll never make it that far."

"You don't know how far it is." Anwar inputs with a smirk. He's right. "And I'm brilliant at swimming, so that's not a problem." He hears Sid sigh behind him and feels a hand in his palm. He's a little taken aback; Sid's never held his hand. Anwar turns to see it's Cassie anyway.

"Wow, Anwar. This is like, so brave." Her eyes are sweet, kind. Cassie always supports everyone. She didn't even discourage Sid when he was fucking Michelle back in college, she was just plain mean. But she never actually begged for him to stop. "It'll be totally dangerous, you know, right?"

"Yeah." He nods. He's thought about it, but he's also thought about his family. And he doesn't give a shit about the dangers if there's a possibility he'll be able to get back to them. "I know I might not do it, but I'll just come back if I get tired, yeah?"

Cassie sighs and shrugs. "I guess. It's totally you're choice. It's always your own choice, yeah?"

"Thanks, Cass." Anwar smiles and tugs at her hand. He suddenly feels a huge amount of regret for not paying more attention to Cassie on the beach. He knows they've all been having a hard time. He just assumed she had Sid. He looks down and sees that she's barefoot and stepping in the sea with him. She cares, he thinks, about everyone. "I know there are risks, yeah? But this island, it's so fucking…"

Cassie tilts her head in agreement and nods. He can't find the words, and he doesn't think she can either.

"It's so depressing and sad and… We could all die, yeah? We're running out of food and drink and, God, Cassie. I know there are risks. But if it means I might get to see my family again, and maybe save all you. I'll do it." Anwar swallows and watches the sea crash in and slowly die to a little wave. Cassie looks proud, her eyes are shining. "It could work, you know?"

Cassie squeezes his hand tight and his fingers start to hurt. "You're so brave, Anwar." He smiles at her and genuinely and feels his heart swell. "A complete hero."

Her hand slips out and Anwar nods at her. She's given him her acceptance, and so fucking what if it's only one, it's enough. Cassie believes and likes anyone and everyone. He'll do this to save her, at least.

"Right guys, I'm off." He shouts to the people behind him. Anwar hears Michelle hiss something to Tony. There are murmurs, but Anwar has already made his mind up. He can't stand this island, and he's going to get off it before he goes mad. He's tired of waiting. Nothing is going to happen. "Best get off so I can get somewhere by nightfall."

Tony breathes out heavily. "Anwar-"

"Tony, there's something close. There's safety just a swim away, I can feel it." Anwar thinks back to the tiny body lying in the middle of the beach. Remembers the distraught faces as everybody tiptoed around yesterday. "I could prevent another death. Get safety and stop anything bad happening. I'll get you all off, and I'll find my family and-"

"There are people coming, Anwar." Thomas says with conviction. "I can feel it, yes? We cannot stop you but… You don't have to do this."

Anwar shakes his head and steps further into the water. It's fucking freezing. His breath disappears and his heart seizes up and pumps cold blood around. He'll be warm when he's started, that's what always happens.

"I'll see you, guys." Anwar shouts and drags his fingertips along the surface of the water. "Soon." He takes one last breath and ducks his head under the water. They won't come after him, because deep down, he knows they want him to bring rescuers. They really believe him. He can do this.

He starts to move his arms out in front of him, starts to kick his legs out and feels the splashes sprinkle along the hairs on his neck. He won't come back to this island again. Not as long as he's breathing.

Cassie. Group 1. Day 10.

Tony crosses his arms and stares at her. He's well angry, and Cassie blinks in surprise. Everyone is looking at her rather meanly, and she's starting to become confused.

"Did I do something wrong?" She asks weakly, because people are staring out to the water and then back at her. Anwar is long gone now, she watched him swim out of sight until she couldn't make out his flapping legs anymore.

Tony laughs evilly and narrows his eyes. "Maybe the fact that you just fucking _encouraged_ Anwar to swim right into a _death trap_." Michelle nods from beside him and she thinks they make an awfully unequal team. She doesn't even know if they know they're copying each other. "Are you stupid or something?"

Cassie looks around for support. She wants Sid; maybe he'll copy her like the dysfunctional couple in front of her. She finds him and smiles weakly, he looks away and out to the sea. There's no smile in return. She widens her eyes and realizes she's alone on this one. Again. "Wow, okay." She blinks and looks in turn at everyone.

"Cass," Effy's voice is verging on sympathetic and annoyed. She doesn't like being the victim, she doesn't like being blamed. "It's just that, Anwar shouldn't have gone."

"Wow, yeah. But I didn't like, make him go."

"You told him too." Michelle bellows with her hands flying in the air. Cassie looks at her and then turns to Tony, half expecting him to do the same with his arms. "You fucking encouraged him to go."

"You didn't hear though, so… It's totally unfair for you to like, say that when…" Cassie shakes her head. She doesn't know what to say to defend herself. She didn't make Anwar go, she just told him he should do what _he_ wants to do. Not what _they_ want him to do. She thought that's what she was meant to say. "It was his own choice."

"Yeah well," Jal rubs her hand across her forehead. "He probably wouldn't have gone if you hadn't of said it. _Jesus_, am I the only one who thinks Anwar can't swim? In college, I swear…" She trails off and Sid turns to agree with her or talk to her or fucking listen. Cassie doesn't care. Sid should be sticking up for her, not having a nice conversation about how silly Cassie is with Jal.

Pandora and Thomas are already starting to walk away. Effy shrugs and looks out to the sea one more time before heading off in the direction Naomi is lying. Tony and Michelle are still staring at her, their eyes burning into her. She doesn't like it, she fidgets uncomfortably. Why is she all alone?

"It wasn't, like, all my fault, yeah?" She tries, but the two in front seem angrier, and she didn't even think that was possible. "I totally can't do anything right, can I?" She turns to walk away and waits a few minutes for Sid's hand to stop her. To comfort her or tell her none of them mean it.

She breathes out and carries on walking through the sand. Her footprints make messy scrawls. The hand doesn't come.

Naomi. Group 1. Day 10.

Her body is pale. It's fucking disgusting, and so unlike Emily, Naomi feels sick. Her hair is red and the contrast between skin and hair is painful. Her eyes tear up all over again. Her legs can't stand it any longer and they collapse to the floor in front of the body. It's not Emily though; she doesn't recognize her at all.

Naomi swallows and stares at Emily's face. She looks beautiful even in death. Naomi can't breath. She can't fucking function right, and she thinks it's all because of Emily. Emily was the one that kept her going. She was controlling the heart that operated all the other organs in her body. Now that Emily has stolen it away, nothing else works.

Her heart died with Emily. And it's fucking sentimental; it's a bloody right line. But Naomi doesn't know another way to describe it. She can't really concentrate enough to know how she feels anyway. Everything's a fucking blur. Emily was always going to die with her heart, Naomi thinks, because back when she was younger and halfway through secondary school, Naomi accidentally fell hard and fast.

She just remembers spending her lunchtimes alone in the library, reading some fucking factual book that was written for boring adults, and seeing this small girl browse through the books across from her. Naomi had hated Emily's hair; it was bright and bold and completely didn't belong anywhere near books. A colour like that was meant for girls that couldn't rely on intelligence or wit. They had to use bright hair colours to stand out.

Of course, Naomi changed her mind the instance Emily had turned and smiled at her. Brown eyes and button nose with a cute lopsided smile. Naomi remembers struggling to breath the whole time until Emily had acquired an equally boring book and left the library. It was the first time Naomi had seen Emily.

She runs her thumb past her bottom lip and feels the bumps crinkled in. Naomi swipes at her eyes and breathes in a shaky breath. She doesn't know what she'll do without Emily. She doesn't know how to cope. She's been trying not to think about any kind of future, it doesn't seem possible that life could still exist after Emily is gone. Naomi just expects to be swallowed up. To disappear into nothing. That's what she wants.

Naomi can't help herself, she really just can't. Her hand drops down to cup Emily's cheek, just so she can feel her narrow jaw and her soft skin under her fingers. She remembers when she used to caress Emily's face, she used to lean into her palm and sigh softly as Naomi would trace every inch of skin. It was the best feeling in the world.

Naomi feels water trickle down her cheek, just at the thought. There was never a moment that Naomi remembers when she didn't want Emily. It's silly, really. As far back as she thinks there's always been this foreign feeling, this want for something she never thought she would need.

Naomi looks to the sky. "I know you can hear me." She murmurs, because she doesn't want the others to catch on to what Naomi's doing. They already think she's mad. "Emily, what do I do?"

There's no answer, she didn't really expect one. "I kind of just keep expecting for everything to end." She says and reaches down to tug on Emily's cold hand. She's never felt so alone in her life, and she went through a period of having no friends at all. But right now, she feels like the only person left alive. "There can't be anything without you, right?"

Naomi sniffs and turns her head to the side, so Emily's face comes in view. Naomi swallows. She's never not wanted Emily, she thinks again. She bites at her lip, remembers Emily making a crude comment about this habit. She closes her eyes as she thinks about how Emily always used to lick her lips, just the slightest bit with the edge of her tongue. Emily always had smooth, moist lips. Naomi aches.

She shuffles over so their heads are touching, so her shoulder is against Emily's. "I can't do this, Em." Naomi whispers as she leans closer to her ear, her lips just brushing against Emily's red hair. "I can't stand it."

Naomi wants to bury her head between the crook of Emily's neck and fall asleep. She wants to smell her hair and kiss her lips. She wants Emily to kiss her temple and her head and make a path down her face and tell her that everything is fine. That Naomi doesn't have to move on or carry on or fucking live with this. She wants Emily to snuggle up close to her so they can breathe each other in. She wants Emily.

But Naomi can't have that, and she thinks she'd rather be dead than live in a world without Emily.

Tony. Group 2. Day 10.

He's been sent to collect more firewood. Cassie would usually have been chosen, but everyone is avoiding her. Tony feels slightly guilty, but whatever. Cassie shouldn't have gotten involved and convinced Anwar to swim off. Especially after making a big thing about seeing Chris.

He breaks off a branch from a tree and listens as the sound echoes around him. The woods, he thinks, is a very scary place to be. Though it looks more like a forest than woods. Tony's not scared though; he's encountered worse things in life than a dark, shadowy forest. Tony hardly ever gets scared.

"Shall we get the introductions out the way?" A voice says and Tony jumps a little and squints into the dark until he sees a boy with floppy hair. At first he thinks _right_, this is Cook, because he knows Cook and Emily's sister are on their way back. Though he remembers Effy's stories and has seen photos and remembers his name is Fred or something old fashioned like that.

"What the fuck?" Tony asks, even though he's pretty sure he's eaten something poisonous or completely moldy and is now feeling the effects. There's no such thing as ghosts. "Who're you?"

The guy doesn't bother sticking his hand out. He just shrugs and looks Tony up and down. "Frederick." His voice is casual, and Tony has the urge to punch him for being to damn patronizing. "Tony Stonem, right?"

Tony nods and crosses his arms, log still in one hand. "Effy's told me things about you. So, what? I'm dreaming of my sister's dead boyfriend or something?"

Frederick laughs. Fucking stupid name. "No, this isn't a dream." His smile remains as he offers, "I could be a ghost?" Tony sniggers and shakes his head. "Maybe I'm just a weird dead fucker come to tell you something, yeah?"

Tony tilts his head and accepts it. "This what happened to Cassie then?"

"Dunno." Frederick mutters, he seems bored. "I haven't met her."

"Whatever." Tony squeezes the log in his hand and steps forward to seem slightly intimidating. "So, what is it?"

Frederick frowns for a minute and then remembers why he's actually here. Tony smirks at Effy's choice of guys. He's not even a little worried for his sanity; Tony knows he's going crazy anyway. "Right. Well, I've got to tell you things. Instructions, if you like. They're extremely important, yeah?"

Tony nods and shrugs at the same time. "Fine, go on then."

Frederick breathes and claps his hands together. "Do you remember what Emily said?"

Tony's eyes go wide. "Emily?" He asks and feels a sting in his stomach. "She was losing blood and was dehydrated and-"

"You didn't listen?" Frederick doesn't look surprised or annoyed. He knew Tony hadn't taken her seriously. "Time fucked up." Something clicks in Tony's head, like he remembers Emily's delicate mouth miming the words. "We were never meant to be here, Tony."

"Obviously." He says and clucks his tongue against the top of his mouth. "The plane fucking crashed."

"No, I mean. None of us were ever meant to get this far with each other. _We _shouldn't know each other. No one fucking should, okay?" Frederick looks to the floor. "Nothing that happened in Roundview was meant to happen, yeah? Time fucked up, and now we're here."

Tony frowns. "I don't understand."

Frederick nods, he expected this. "Okay, imagine a waterfall, yeah? That's time. And as the water falls down, some of it splashes off onto the side. It makes a puddle. Something goes wrong and that puddle can't follow the path of the water anymore. The path of time. We're the puddle." Frederick raises his eyebrow. "We are the puddle, yeah?"

_"I don't understand it myself, yeah? But we're the puddle. You'll know it soon."_

Tony steps back at the sound of Emily's voice. He doesn't understand. She knew this? She'd seen Frederick and he'd told her this absurd idea? "What the fuck?"

"You need to go back, Tony." Frederick's face is serous, almost pleading. Tony steps away; he doesn't know what's being asked of him. "Everything is _so_ wrong and… You all need to go back."

He swallows. "Where?" There's more stuck in his throat, but it doesn't seem to want to come out. Tony coughs. "Where do we go back to? Fucking home?"

There's silence for at least thirty seconds and Tony starts to feel himself come back to reality. He looks around again and blinks over at Frederick. There's no such thing as ghosts or spirits or what the fuck. None of this can be real.

Frederick bites at his lip and his eyes narrow. "Roundview." He says, like it's fucking simple. Like people travel back in time everyday. "That's why we're all here. To change _everything_."

"But," Tony shakes his head. No, this isn't happening. Tony's fucking dreaming and he'll wake up soon. "What your saying, it'd mean that I wouldn't know…" He has to swallow again. The prospect stings his chest. "I wouldn't know Sid or, or, Jal and… I wouldn't know Michelle?"

Frederick tilts his head back, like this is fucking hard for _him._ "No."

Tony refuses. "Then, that idea can go to fuck." He doesn't want to lose all his memories from back in college. He doesn't want to lose his best friend, Sid can be a fucking twat sometimes, but he's always been Tony's twat. Even when countries separated them. And Michelle. He won't admit why that ache's the most.

Frederick starts to disappear, blend in with the background. "Find the bottle, Tony." He says as he stares straight at Tony, eyes fixed and not blinking. "It's important you find the bottle."

_"Up near the entrance to the forest, there's a water bottle. I dropped it when I collapsed…"_

Tony throws the log to the ground; it's skinny and small anyway. He should have spent more time with Emily; she seems to have known everything. And Tony still can't decide whether he's minutes away from waking.

Thomas. Group 2. Day 10.

His feet hit the sand and bounce back up again. Thomas runs like a dog. He's fast. But never fast enough, Thomas thinks as he races over in the direction of the fire. He always wants to be faster, if only for situations like this.

"Jal?" He shouts as he gets closer, there's a big group of them all reaching their hands out to steal the heat radiating from the fire. "Jal, I need you." He breathes out and bends down. He's out of breath now and Jal is standing and looking at him with confusion all over her face. He doesn't think there's any time for explaining, so he turns around and starts to run back. "Please, come."

It seems to take longer on his way back than it did when he was sprinting to the fire. It's just frustrating. When he stops just in front of the moaning girl on the floor, he hears heavy breathing beside him. Jal steps forward and wipes at the sweat from her forehead. "Jesus, what's going on?" She asks as she leans forward and tried to suck in breath.

"Pandora," Thomas says and gestures to the panting girl on the floor. Effy's shushing her by her side and brushing her hair out of her eyes. "I think she's ready to have the little one."

Jal's eyes widen and she goes about pressing her hand to different parts of Pandora's large stomach. Pandora squeals in pain and Effy tugs at her hand. Thomas watched with worry churning in his gut. He hasn't seen Pandora in so much pain before.

"Okay." Jal sighs and shakes her head. She looks exhausted. "Fuck, okay. You're right. So…" She looks to the sky and thinks for a few minutes. Her hands are all of a sudden wobbly and sweaty. "Okay, we're going to have to do this now." Thomas bites at his lip, his heart is speeding up as he thinks about a small baby tucked in his arms.

"OUCH!" Pandora screams and Thomas looks over just in time to see Effy wince and stare down at her squashed hand. Pandora's pulling on it tightly. He bends down and strokes her face.

"Pandora sweets, our little one is coming." He whispers and tucks some hair behind her ear. She doesn't look pleased, she just grimaces and blinks. "Did you hear me?'

"Effy, get up here. I need your help." Jal instructs and Effy's up and at Jal's side in an instant. Jal starts to tell her instructions or what will happen or something. Thomas turns back to Pandora.

"It's whizzer painful, Tomo." She squeezes her eyes shut and opens them again. They're shiny and pained. "I don't think my box will handle the ga-ga ra-ra slipper. My brush is banana bonkers and it's pulling through the pasta."

Thomas nods and traces his finger down her cheek. "It's fine, okay? It'll end soon and then we can hold our baby." Pandora swallows and whimpers. There's a tiny spark in her eye. Excitement, he thinks.

"Okay, Pandora." Jal interrupts their moment and claps her hands. "When I say we're ready, I'm going to need you to push really hard." She looks down with her eyebrows raised expectantly. "Do you understand?"

Pandora nods and watches as Effy quickly discards of her trousers and bright pink knickers. Thomas pulls of his jumper and hands it to Effy to place over Pandora's legs. To give her dignity and to make sure she isn't cold. Thomas doesn't want Pandora in any more discomfort than she already is.

"Ready?" Jal mutters as she bends down to the floor and separates Pandora's legs. It's an awkward position to watch, and Thomas almost feels bad for Pandora. But he doesn't think her privacy is the first thing on her mind right now. "Okay, Pandora. Push."

Pandora lets out a constipated sound and squeezes her eyes shut. Her hands pull at Thomas' and crush them together. It hurts a lot, he frowns, but she must be in a lot more pain. "You're doing well, Panda." He whispers into her hair.

She winces and takes another large gulp of breath before squeezing again. Effy looks down at what Jal is doing with mild disgust on her face, though she keeps looking up and smiling at Pandora in an encouraging manner.

"Nearly there. I can see a head." Jal shouts. "Keep pushing."

Thomas hears a tiny cry and jumps up with excitement. His baby is here. He squeezes Pandora's hand at the sound of weak whimpers. There's nowhere in the world he'd rather be.

He wouldn't give this moment up for anything.

"Oh, whoa." Sid winces as he looks down at Jal and what she's doing and then looks up at Pandora. "Shit, this is an awkward time. But…" Effy stands up and faces Sid. Thomas tries not to listen, he tries to concentrate on Pandora's firm grip and the quiet sound of a baby's blubber, but he can't help it.

"What?" Effy urges and places a hand on his arm. "What is it, Sid? 'Cause we're kind of busy right now."

"Naomi can't really help, 'cause she's kind of oblivious to everything and…" Effy shrugs impatiently. Sid swallows and nods. "Yeah, it's just… Katie and Cook are back. They've just come through the bushes and-"

"Shit." Effy hisses and looks around for some help or advice or support. She looks panicked. "Fuck, what do we do?"

Thomas' eyes find Emily's body immediately. His heart drops and his happiness disappears. He can almost taste the despair in the black night.


	14. The Orderly Queue

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything.**_

_**So, I know this story is a little depressing at the minute. I'm worried it's too sad though, and people won't like it because of that. But everything is necessary in the story. I'm sorry if it makes you not want to read it anymore. Please let me know what you think.**_

_**It takes hours to write; seconds to review.**_

Don't be shy. You can take another piece of me. Everyone else already has.  
Until there's nothing left. Until I disappear  
(Please Find This; _IWroteThisForYou_)

Cassie. Group 1. Day 10.

Katie hovers by the bushes, she's leaning on her left leg as she discreetly tries to catch a glance of the dimly lit beach. Her eyes are frowning in the direction of the new survivors. Cassie folds her arms and steps in her eye-line again. Katie huffs.

"Wow, so, like, you haven't seen Maxxie and JJ?" Cassie asks, and Cook jumps forward. He looks suddenly alive. Katie's eyebrows sink even further down her nose.

"JJ's here?" Cook bellows as he imitates Katie and tries to see past Cassie's shoulder. She's been told to not do anything until Effy gets there. No one trusts Cassie to speak anymore. "What the fuck? You mean my Gay-Jay?"

Cassie shrugs. "There were more survivors. It's totally crazy. You were gone for like, ages. They went to get you."

Cook's clapping his hands. "Oh, yeah man. Can't wait to see JJ. He's a top man, yeah? Fucking brilliant."

Katie taps her feet against the sand impatiently. "Seriously, yeah. What's goin' on?"

"So, you really didn't see them?" Cassie frowns and Cook shakes her head. They must still be looking then, she thinks. It's taken them quite long though, and they said they would be back days ago. "That's totally weird."

"Effy." Katie sighs and her shoulders seem to relax. She's looking over Cassie's shoulder and she can hear the approaching footsteps. "What the fuck is going on, yeah? Why is Cassie not letting us go any further?"

Cassie looks at Effy questioningly. She wants to know the same thing, and she's not happy about being blamed, yet again, for something she wasn't responsible for. Cassie's getting fed up of being picked on.

"Katie, why are you back so late?" Is the first thing out of Effy's mouth, and Cassie hates it when people answer a question with a question. And, by the look on her face, so does Katie. "We told you to be back for the next night."

Cook nods and slings his arm around Katie's shoulder. "I know, yeah?" He says and glares at both Effy and Cassie in turn. Cassie feels uncomfortable. "But we couldn't find Emilio, so we looked and looked. But then we ran out of food and drink and it all got-"

"We're only here to restore and stuff, yeah?" Katie interrupts, and Effy opens her mouth as if to argue but closes it immediately. "Tomorrow, we're heading back out. Emily's still out there. And to make matters worse we found a bloodied top and-"

"Katie." Effy sighs.

"And it's definitely Emily's. So she's bloody hurt, yeah?" Katie shakes her head and directs a warning look at Effy. "So, don't you start acting like the leader again, and telling us that we can't-"

"Katie-"

"- go back out and that, 'cause we will. I'm sure you would-"

"Katie!" Effy shouts and the girl stops talking instantly. Katie's eyes are wide and confused. Effy just looks damn scared and Cassie swallows in anticipation for what is coming. "Katie, Emily's here."

Katie's face contorts into a range of emotions, like she's testing expressions to choose the most suitable. She settles on excitement. "Oh my God, thank fuck for that. Cassie said there was more survivors." She shakes her head in relief, and Cook's arm looks like it's resting heavier on her shoulder. "I knew Emily would be alright."

Cook nods and has a satisfied grin on his face. "Yes, babe." Cassie's unsure who he is talking to. "Now I can actually have a proper nights rest. But first, I need to see Emilio and tell her off for worrying-"

"She was in a bad state when she got here." Effy mutters, and her voice is so weak, her eyes are searching everywhere but at the two arrivals. Katie's face drops. "We tried to help her. I mean, we tried _everything_."

Katie tilts her head; her eyes are already turning shiny. Cassie feels sick. "What are you saying?"

Effy blinks and looks straight at Katie. "I'm sorry. I'm just…_so_ sorry."

Katie's shaking her head and biting her lip. Her legs are already recoiling out of Cook's arm and away from the beach. "No, no. What are you saying, Effy?"

Cassie grabs Effy's hand. The moon is reflecting dangerously off Effy's cheeks and it shows the single tear rolling down her cheek. Cassie watches as Katie's suspicions are confirmed and her whole body slumps. It looks like she's about to disappear into the sand. "She's dead, Katie." Effy chokes out. "Emily's gone."

The wounds are still fresh for everyone on the beach, and Cassie can't begin to imagine how raw Katie's pain will be. She closes her eyes and winces at the thought.

"Shit." Cook is whispering as his head propels back and forth. Left and right. "_Fuck._"

Katie's already on the floor and Cassie leans down to her level. Her face is buried between her knees. Her quiet whimpers are heartbreaking and awful. Katie's not loud, she's not screaming or wailing. She's just rocking back and forth and breathing out the only air she has left in her. It's the worst kind of grieving. The most pained form of crying.

The sounds seem to echo on forever, crushing everyone in earshot. It's clear to Cassie, then, that Katie's pain is the worst type of pain. Katie is breaking apart right in front of everyone and, Cassie knows from experience, there's nothing anyone can do to stop it.

Pandora. Group 2. Day 11.

The sun is just starting to rise. Pandora thinks it feels like it should be high in the sky by now, that time goes way too slowly. It's been hours since she opened her legs wide and pushed so hard her eyes had turned white. It's only been hours, but it feels like it should have been days ago.

The beach is silent. It feels like a quiet before the storm. Pandora's only been in one proper big storm. When she was climbing the mountains with Thomas; they'd had to run for safety under a tree that eventually got struck down by lightning. They'd moved on by then though. Pandora doesn't want to run for the trees again. Besides, the island never has bad weather.

A soft gurgle pulls Pandora from her memories. She looks down and smiles at the sleeping baby tucked in her arms. It's a girl. Thomas was wrong, Pandora was right. First time for everything, she thinks. Pandora smiles as she looks down at her baby snuggling deeper into her chest. She's beautiful, her skin is a light chocolate colour and the few times Pandora has got a glance to see her eyes, she's seen they're deep brown.

Pandora still aches all over though, and she winces whenever she thinks back to the night before. Jal has said she'll get better, that it's normal for her muscles to tighten and hurt. She looks out in front of her and feels bad for being happy about her newborn child. Pandora closes her eyes and swallows down guilt.

Katie's broken. Anyone and everyone can see how much pain she's in from miles away. Pandora remembers back to when Naomi was pulling Emily close in the night, her tears reflecting off the moonlight. Pandora didn't think it possible, but Kate almost looks worse. Everyone is keeping their distance from Katie with Emily in the middle of the beach, though her cries echo inside their ears.

"She has your nose." Thomas says as he drags his eyes away from Katie. Pandora loves him for trying to divert her attention. Just like many she's acquired on this island, the image will never fade away. "Nice and squishy."

Pandora tries to smile, but it never reaches her eyes. "Whizzer, I think her nose is bonkers cute. That mean I'm cute, Tomo?" The joke dies down in her throat. Why can't she just be happy? She just wants to be able to smile at her daughter. Pandora hates how such a simple thing can feel like such a hard task.

Thomas nods and returns the pained smile. "Oh, yes. Pandora, you're just as cute as our child." He stares at their baby for a couple of minutes and then looks up into Pandora's eyes. He looks more relaxed. "What shall we name her?"

She pulls the baby closer into her. Her tiny body radiates warmth. Pandora has already began to think about names. "I don't know." She shrugs. "Pandora Junior would be monkeys though."

Thomas laughs, it sounds fake. He looks over to Katie tugging on the body and when he looks back, his face is serious. "I was thinking Emily." He says, and Pandora's eyes go wide. It's not that she doesn't like it, because the name is beautiful and the idea is lovely. It's just; Pandora's already considered it and ruled it out.

"It's whizzer nice and everything." The baby gurgles and Pandora can't help a little smile at the sound. "It's just, I don't think Naomi or Katie would like it. I know it sounds bonkers mad, but Emily is Emily's name, yeah?"

Thomas smiles and nods. He reaches across and brushes the baby's cheek, she squirms in Pandora's arms and reaches across to grab Thomas' finger. Pandora laughs. It's not really funny, but Thomas smiles at Pandora and back down to the little girl in her arms.

"I love you both very much." He whispers. Pandora squeezes her eyes shut and thinks that she couldn't of asked for a better family.

Katie. Group 1. Day 11.

It's not that she can't breathe, though she doesn't think she'd be able to if she tried; it's that she doesn't want to. There's no point anymore. Emily's stopped, so if they were to go along with their plan as kids, she should stop too. They vowed to do everything together.

Her heart is extremely heavy, and it feels shattered, so Katie thinks it should feel lighter, but it isn't. The sand is yellow and red. The sea is silent and noisy. The sky is dry and humid. Katie blinks and stares. She holds her breath and breathes. Her eyes are blurry and clear. Everything is wrong.

She knows one thing for certain though. She's drained and bloody empty. Katie thinks even the water has poured out, using her eyes for the entrance to escape. Katie doesn't know what she feels. She feels nothing, but that's not a real emotion, so she can't really label it. It's just like a complete fucking _loss_.

Emily's dead.

Katie remembers hiding beneath blankets, pegged up on bookshelves and tall lights. She remembers feeling completely safe and hidden, like nothing in the world could get in and invade their den. Her and Emily would hide and whisper secrets that never were. Hold hands and sing verses from songs that never existed. Katie wishes they'd never left the den. That way, they would both still be together. They would be alive.

Emily's dead. Katie thinks she might be too.

Katie stares down at Emily's body. She remembers seeing her skin pale back when she had fell from the tree when they were kids. She remembers closing her eyes and sprinting back home to find help or at least a phone to ring the emergencies. She wants to run home, now. Katie needs help, because Emily's skin is pale.

Back then; they'd got an ambulance. Katie had brought Emily back to the tree and they'd climbed it together. They'd fixed each other and banished any fears. It's what they did for each other because they're sisters, they're twins, and they're best friends. They're meant to fix each other. But right now, Emily is breaking Katie into pieces.

She wipes at her eyes as she pulls on Emily's hand. It's cold and stiff. Not like Emily's hand, Katie thinks and has to swallow back another wave of tears. Because she's already cried enough, though Katie can't help the stray tears escaping from beneath her frail eyelids. She's never felt like this before. Completely lost and alone and fucking _broken_. Emily always saved her; she always pulled Katie back on track. Katie doesn't have that anymore.

She breathes out and cringes at the sound of the shaky sob released from her lips. Emily's eyes are closed, her lips are scaly, her mouth has fallen slightly ajar and her hair is blown everywhere. Katie pushes her chin so Emily's lips just touch and she brushes Emily's hair out of her face and behind her ears. Emily looks peaceful, and Katie fucking hates it.

She's noticed as well, that Emily is wearing her leopard print top. It's stained red from Emily's blood. Katie bites her lip; at least some part of Katie was with Emily. It doesn't really count, but Katie wonders if it made Emily think about her, she hopes that it did. It breaks Katie's heart.

Katie remembers feeling alone. She remembers purple dresses and purple bruises. Red hair, red cuts and red hearts hanging all around the room. She remembers Emily swallowing hard and pushing Kate's dress strap up her shoulder before brushing past her and leaving in the hand of a tall blonde.

"___You have to understand, Katie. __I ____love you and I'll never really leave you."_

Katie had wanted to cry. She had wanted to run after Emily and beg her to come home with her. Because Katie couldn't trust anybody with Emily's heart. Not a girl, not a boy, not Naomi Fucking Campbell. Emily is, _was_, special. Katie didn't even trust herself to look after Emily sometimes, because the thought of something bad happening was unbearable.

Katie pulls on Emily's body; she tugs it up onto her knees and tangles her hand between her strands of hair. She wraps her arm around Emily's body and rocks her. She wants to be close to her sister, so close it's impossible to tell which limb belongs to who. She shakes her head and bites her lip hard; this is the worst moment of Katie's life.

She pushes her head against Emily's chest and breathes in the smell that was never Emily's. She wants to be back in the den. She wants to entwine her fingers with Emily's and giggle about their mothers awful cooking and James' snotty nose. She wants to bury herself beneath her quilt and sing silly songs in Emily's ear as they pretend to sleep. Katie wants to go back to a time when Emily would climb trees with her and paint each other's nails.

Emily's dead. She lied. She said she would never leave Katie. Katie sniffs as her body shakes with cries. But now she's gone and Katie is all alone.

Cook. Group 1. Day 11.

Katie is rocking back and forth. He can only see from the back of her, but her face is bent down and she's cooped Emily up onto her lap. He doesn't have to be near to hear her crying or know that she has tears running down her cheeks. Cook wants to help but doesn't know how.

Naomi buries her head deeper into Cook's shoulder; her head is the perfect fit. She looks like a complete wreck, and Cook can't even blame her. He feels like shit as well. Cook rarely cries though. Whenever he feels close to tears, he clenches his teeth and fists his hands.

Naomi sniffles from beside him and looks down to the sand with a slight frown on her face. "Is it mean of me to hate Panda and Thomas?" She asks, and it takes Cook by surprise. He looks over to the couple, smiling down at a baby tucked within Pandora's arms.

"Probably." He shrugs. Cook doesn't know anything right now. He can't think straight. He knows Pandora has only just given birth, Effy had filled him in on everything that's happened since he's been gone. Katie hadn't heard a thing. "Why would you hate them anyways?"

Naomi sniffs again, almost like she's crying. But there are no tears escaping her eyes. "Because…" Her voice is weak, dull and numb. Cook winces every time she speaks. "How is it fair that I lose someone but they gain another?" There isn't any question in her voice; she's already made up her mind that it's not fair.

Cook shakes his head. He doesn't know how to respond to that. "Babe," He tries and watches as Naomi cringes. He doesn't think she can manage any show of affection at the minute. He regrets using the name immediate. "Naomi, if there's anything I've learnt, it's that life's not fucking fair."

"That's a fucking stupid thing to say." She mutters and bites at her lip. Cook doesn't actually get what is bad about it, but he's not about to argue with a girl that will most probably just cry at any raise in voice. Naomi's so fucking fragile right now.

Cook loved Emily. She was the strongest person he knew, and no one would have ever guessed the power she had. She was quiet, intelligent and completely naïve. No one would have suspected her to have armour built of fucking steel. Emily knew what she wanted and she knew exactly who she was, and that's where everyone slips up. Not Emilio though, she was fucking clever.

Kate will never be the same. She said to Cook multiple times in the forest about how she couldn't live without Emily. This is possibly the worst situation that could have ever happened. They come in a two, Katie and Emily. It's a bit like Naomi and Emily, though people only started seeing them as pair after they'd apparently confessed their love at the Love Ball. Cook wasn't there though, he only heard about it from JJ when they came looking for him and Effy.

_"She's my fucking sister, and you have to understand that I can't manage without her. I won't survive on my own."_

Cook gulps hard and feels a pang of fear in his gut.

"She said she loves me." Naomi whispers, and Cook shakes his head out from his thoughts. Naomi's voice is painful to listen to. She sounds like she's minutes away from breaking down with every syllable. "Emily told me that she loves me. I thought… I broke her heart and I thought she'd never love me again. But she does."

Cook doesn't know whether to correct her on past or present tense. He doesn't know which one he'd use in her position either. "Emilio always fucking loved you, yeah? You could see it in her eyes from day one of college."

Naomi lets out a sigh, and he swears he hears a whisper of relief. "Yeah." She nods and bites down on her lip. "Yeah, Emily loved me. She _always_ loved me."

Cook wants to cry. But he can't tell who for. Everyone on this fucking island has something broken about them. It's only a matter of time, he thinks, before it all gets too much for someone. He just can't tell who will shatter first.

Sid. Group 1. Day 11.

He sighs. The sun has already begun to disappear and the moon is just coming into sight. He hates how fast the days go by. It makes him think he's been on the island less than he actually has. Sid just wants to go home. He doesn't care how, as long as he's in New York and in his bed soon.

"Are you still totally mad at me?" Sid turns to see Cassie bow her head timidly. Her eyes search the sand. "Because you haven't spoken to me in like, so long."

Sid turns back to the waves crashing in front of him. He doesn't want to look at Cassie. He loves her, because she's still Cassie. But some of the things she's been doing lately makes Sid crave space away from her. It reminds him of a time when Cassie screwed with him, Michelle and Jal just for fun. She loved Chris too much and Tony was too smart. Maxxie and Anwar were always together. She'd pushed everyone away.

He shrugs.

Cassie sighs and comes right next to him to stare out into the ocean too. "Anwar wanted to go." She reaches for his hand but he pulls away. It's not what he wants right now. Cassie looks to his hand, now pulled across his chest, and does the same with hers "Wow, okay." She sniffs. "I didn't make him do it though. He wanted to be lovely and-"

"And what about Chris, Cassie?" Sid's voice is a little angrier now, and he thinks that Cassie seems to recoil away from it. She's just like a confused child, and sometimes it gets too much for Sid. "Because that was fucking disgusting."

She shakes her head. "No, because… No." Her voice is a mixture of bewilderment and anger. Sid pulls his arm tighter around his waist to stop himself from comforting her. He has to remind himself that some people are still pretty mad at her for that. "That's fine now. Jal totally listened to me and we so sorted it. Why are you bringing it up, Sidney?"

"Cassie, you're messing with people's heads again and…" He sucks his lip into his mouth. Sid doesn't want to be cruel, least of all to Cassie. "It's fucking awful. So, stop it."

He goes to walk away but Cassie grabs his arm. She widens her eyes and she almost looks wondrous. "I'll love you forever, Sid. You know I will." There's something in her voice that sounds weak and almost sad about it.

Sid swallows and nods. He hasn't the heart to say it back. So he offers a smile before striding away instead.

Tony. Group 2. Day 11.

Michelle can't drag her eyes away from them. Tony thinks it's a rather unhealthy sight to watch. Every time he catches a glimpse he feels his stomach drop and bile rise in his throat. He can't imagine what he would do if he was in that position and he were Katie and Emily were Effy. Tony shakes the image from his head; the feeling would take over his body.

"Don't stare, Chelle." He says and reaches for her hand. She welcomes the comforting touch. "It feels like you're invading their privacy." Michelle makes a hum of agreement but doesn't avert her gaze.

Whenever he thinks about Emily, there's a picture of a water bottle. Tony knows where it is; he's seen it in passing and remembers spotting it by the tree after she'd told him about it. But he doesn't want to get it, not yet. It's important in that pathetic scheme Frederick had mentioned. Tony doesn't want to be apart of it.

"Michelle?" She hums again; she's concentrating on Katie really hard. He takes it as a cue to carry on. "Would you want to start all over again, if you could?"

She suddenly brought out of her trance. Michelle's eyes change course and land on Tony. She looks confused. "What do you mean?"

Tony shrugs. He doesn't understand it either, Frederick hadn't made sense. "Like, if you could go back and start all over. Would you do it?"

"No." She says matter of fact. Simple. "I've liked the majority of my life so far. When I was growing up we lived in the most beautiful house and-"

"I mean just in Roundview?"

"Oh." She looks more confused and looks to the sky as if thinking. "Dunno, really."

Tony nods, he expected that answer anyway. It's how he would probably respond. "Okay, well. If you could go back and make certain we never turn up on this island, would you?"

"Yes."

"What about if going back meant that you couldn't know anyone you know now?" He asks, and he doesn't want this to seem like some fucking interview. But it's been bugging him and he needs another opinion. "None of your friends or acquaintances. If everyone you knew since the start of college just… disappeared out of your life?"

Michelle turns and looks at Tony. There's a far away look in her eyes as she stares straight into his. He swallows and watched as she gently shakes her head. "No." She whispers. "I couldn't do that. I love some people too much."

Tony gulps. He squeezes Michelle's hand and mutters a quiet agreement. Frederick had said it had to happen. He'd made a point that it was extremely important they went back. But Tony can't not know people. He gazes into Michelle's eyes and thinks, _yeah_, I love people too much.

Jal. Group 2. Day 11.

Cook shakes his head. He has a familiar kind of presence. Jal doesn't want to think about who she recognises it from. She already feels her heart constrict at the image of his cheeky smile. She frowns and tilts her head.

"You're sure?" She asks, because it's bloody well important. Cook looks annoyed, he has his hand gripped at Naomi's and he's scoffing a chocolate bar down his throat greedily.

He nods. "I never saw' em, yeah?" Cook shrugs. "Maybe we passed them. JJ's a stubborn bugger when he wants to be. He probably just wants to find me and is still in there."

Jal sighs. It's fucking useless, talking to Cook, anyway. Because one minute he's constantly searching to look at Katie and the next he's squeezing Naomi's hand and checking she's all right. He's loyal, but completely unresponsive.

It's so frustrating. JJ and Maxxie are gone, and Cook claims that neither him nor Katie has seen them. They went looking for _them_, so they should at least be grateful and want to track them down.

Jal's worried. JJ, Maxxie, Emily and now Anwar have all left her. They're all gone. Jal looks around and tries not to think about who else could be next.

Effy, Group 1. Day 11.

There is a gun lying in front of her. She's on the beach, all alone. She doesn't know what's happened or where everyone has gone. But it's just her and the gun. There's no sound. Not the air running into the trees, not the sea crashing against the shore, not the fire crackling and spitting out ash. There's just a slight ringing sound in her ear.

She reaches for the gun but a hand suddenly grabs her arm and pulls it back. It's a firm grip. "You're not the one that uses that." He says and Effy's heart drops. Freddie.

"Freds?" She whispers, but his answering smile isn't nearly as wide as hers. He's got serious eyes and a mouth set in a straight line. "What's wrong?"

He shrugs nonchalantly. "Nothing." He picks up the gun and examines it in his hand. "But, this gun isn't for you. Someone else will need it. But, not you." He raises his eyebrow at Effy.

"Who is it for?" She asks. Freddie looks up with concern and then shakes it off.

"I can't tell you that." He says and kicks some sand out from beneath him. It seems like he's always a bit depressed whenever she sees him now. Her dreams are becoming depressing. "People deal with grief in different ways, you know?"

"Huh?" Effy's confused. She doesn't remember mentioning anything about grief. "What are you on about?"

Freddie smiles and throws evils at the gun. Like it can feel some fucking emotion. It's metal. "You can't blame yourself, Effy. If you did everything, then she can't exactly blame you, can she?"

"What?" She shakes her head. "Who?"

"I know you took what she said seriously, but if you can't save one, you have to save another." Freddie bites his lip. She hates it when other people are mysterious to her. She's never been totally out of the loop. "And when this thing," he shakes the gun in his hand, "goes off, the person you least expect will feel the most pain. Okay?"

Effy nods. She's sure it'll all make sense at some point. "Okay."

"And when the tide comes in, it's already too late." He chucks the gun into the sand below him and tilts his head. "It's not going to be okay for a while. But hopefully, you know that it never rains on the island."

She frowns.

"The weather's predictable, right? It never rains on the island." He reaches and squeezes her hand. "We'll be together soon." He whispers and he's already started to fade out.

Her dreams come and go fast nowadays. She never gets sleep. Effy needs to dream more so she can see Freddie. She needs to dream more so she can understand what's going, because she has no clue at the minute. Effy doesn't understand anything.


	15. The Fire In The Smoke

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything.**_

_**It takes hours to write; seconds to review.**_

What I meant to say was, sometimes I stare at the cigarette in my hand and beg it to stop wasting my time and just kill me. But I figured you didn't want to hear that.  
(Please Find This;_ IWroteThisForYou_)

Tony. Group 2. Day 12.

Frederick is in front of him, and Tony curses Sid for suggesting he be the one that collect firewood again. He should have known this was going to happen, because the island is only becoming more fucked up by the day.

"So," Frederick shrugs, eyeing Tony up with a knowing look. Tony thinks it's fucking ironic, that Effy chooses a guy that's shit at being mysterious. He bites his tongue not to laugh aloud. "You listen to what I said then? Get the bottle?"

Tony shakes his head, Frederick knows the answer anyway. "I'm not getting involved with this." He says, his voice on the verge of humour. Tony wants to laugh at the fucking ridiculousness of the whole situation. "Leave me out of this."

Frederick looks to the floor and squeezes his eyes shut. He looks annoyed and distressed. But, fuck him, Tony thinks. He's not the one that has to make this decision. "You know I can't do that, Tony."

He grunts in response, throwing his hands up in the air and dropping them to his side with force. "Why? Why do I have to be the one to get involved?"

"Because, you're the one everybody listens too." Frederick replies. Fucking simple.

Tony hates, now, that he took charge. He'd seen the worry in everybody's faces, and he just decided that they would look for Effy and find the other half of the plane. It wasn't intentional. Though, Tony knows the Stonems were meant to lead. They were both built with a strong voice and an inability to easily grow attached to people. They both failed though, Tony and Effy, because they threw all their power away when they fell in love.

"Frederick, trust me. No one will listen to this," he waves his hand up and down, gesturing towards Frederick. "Because it's fucking crazy. A ghost telling me to go back to Roundview to start all over again-"

"They will."

"Besides, I'm not doing it." Tony hisses, his eyes narrowing. He can hear his voice echoing against the trees. Frederick's voice makes no sound amongst the forest. "Why would I want to go back to Roundview? Repeating those two years again, it's just gunna end the same way. What's the fucking point?"

"No." Frederick's voice is firm, finally becoming louder and more deliberate. "No." Tony winces at the conviction. "You obviously don't understand what I said then, yeah?"

Tony shrugs, fake nonchalance laced in his eyes. Inside Tony's itching to know how this is all meant to end.

Frederick raises his eyebrows and breathes in. "When you go back,"

Tony grunts. "_When_?"

Frederick rolls his eyes. "When you go back, you cannot know the people on this island, _ever_. It'll be impossible." Tony swallows and feels sick. "They'll be in Roundview, your classes, your friend's friend. But, they can't be your friends. You can't know anybody, unless you knew them prior to Roundview. Do you understand?"

Tony shakes his head, gulps back bile. He can't imagine Roundview without his friends. Why would he ever want to go back there if he couldn't know them? "Well, then. What you just said, it just makes my decision definite, doesn't it?" He thinks of the depressing grey building, of the other students there. He can't remember anyone other than his group of friends. They were the only people worth knowing, as far as he was concerned.

"What?" Frederick sounds disgusted and on the verge of throwing a fit. Tony's eager to get a reaction out of him other than just standing with a smug look. He raises his eyebrows to goad him on. "You think I'm happy about it too?" Frederick scrunches up his nose in disgust. "Tony, I love my friends just as much as you do. I love _Effy_."

Tony looks away at the mention of his sister's name. "You don't understand."

"All the people that are dead, Tony. They can get their life back." Frederick's tone is almost pleading. But Tony thinks that surely Frederick already knows what's going to happen. "Me and Chris-"

"Don't." Tony interrupts. His heart is already aching. "Don't bring Chris into this. You know fucking nothing."

"All the five people that have died on the island-"

"You mean Emily, right?" Tony's on edge, his ears have woke up and he can feel his pulse racing a little faster. "Just Emily has died, yeah?"

Frederick looks awkward. "Tony-"

"You mean Emily, right?" He repeats, and now Tony can hear pleading in his own voice. He cringes at the desperation.

"Tony, I didn't mean-" Frederick stares into Tony's eyes and suddenly thinks better of the lies on this tip of his tongue. "You have to find Maxxie and JJ."

"No, this is fucked up." Tony rubs his hands down the length of his cheek; he feels the strain in his muscles. "You're joking me, right? They just went out to look for people."

Frederick turns to look behind his back and then faces Tony again. "They're in the trees somewhere." Frederick is already fading out again and Tony thinks this is all fucking stupid. "Find them Tony. Take someone, and find them."

Michelle. Group 2. Day 12.

Katie has finally left Emily's body; it took Effy two hours to even get Katie to look up in her direction. Michelle had started to think that she would never leave her sister's body. Emily was only left alone for mere seconds, however, as Naomi had dropped beside the redhead as soon as the space beside her was free.

Michelle steps towards the sea, her foot digging into the sand as she leans heavily forward. She wants to join Katie and watch the waves with her. She wants to hold her hand and check how deep the damage is and try to help. Michelle hates seeing someone so similar to Emily hurt so much.

"You okay?" Michelle asks and immediately hates herself for asking such a dumb fucking question. Of course Katie isn't okay. She walks forward and waits for Katie's shrug as a sign to sit next to her. Michelle slumps onto the sand. "Sorry, dumb question. It's habit."

"Whatever." Katie shrugs with no real emotion. Her voice is beyond flat, it's so toneless Michelle can imagine the words and expression mimicked by a robot.

Michelle looks out to the sea and then back at Katie. Katie has no idea who Michelle is, but she knows all about Katie. Emily wasted no time in telling her all about her family on the walk through the forest and when they just sat bored on the beach. Michelle feels a sting of pain in her chest at just the memory of Emily.

"What I meant was like, how are you feeling?" She asks and squeezes her eyes shut, tries to forget about Emily's quirky smile and warm chocolate eyes.

"Dunno." Katie mutters. Michelle thinks this is probably the most honest answer she could have responded with. Anything other than being completely unsure of this emptiness in everyone's chest would have been a fat fucking lie.

Michelle swallows and nods. She can feel her hand reach out for Katie's before her mind registers what she's doing. Katie flinches at the touch. "I looked after Emily, before…" Michelle hates herself, repeats the sentiment in her head just to make sure it registers. "She was really lovely."

Katie closes her eyes and brushes her hand past her cheek. She gulps and nods but keeps her mouth shut.

"She told me stuff, about her family, about Naomi." Katie looks up at Michelle, completely hurt. "But mostly about _you_." Michelle smiles, as there's just this overwhelming emotion of relief that passes through Katie's face.

"Yeah?" There's still an essence of hope through her words.

"I remember her telling me about this one time," Katie seems to sit up a little straighter as Michelle recalls another memory. Her eyes are beginning to get teary just at the remembrance of Emily sitting straighter, ready to tell her this story. "When you broke your mother's favourite vase. It was from Egypt or something and-"

"We'd just started netball, yeah?" Katie asks, Michelle nods. "_Jesus_, Emily was so shit at it. We were practising in the lounge and she threw the ball right into it, just smacked right into the vase. Went into fucking pieces." There's a whisper of a smile on Katie's face, and Michelle feels slightly proud that she achieved at least that.

"Emily said you took the blame." Michelle inputs and waits for Katie to elaborate.

Katie laughs a little, her voice still dull. "Ems was a right wimp back then, she followed everything by the rules." Another snigger is released from her lips. "Even made up her own, just so she could stay in check." Michelle breathes out a chuckle to join Katie's. "'Course she freaked out, so I took the blame. We're twins, and that's what we do, yeah?"

"You were a good sister, Katie. Emily loved you."

"I _am_ a good sister. Not as good as Emily though. She stayed with me for the whole time I was grounded." Katie's voice is back to sounding weak and numb. Her eyes are becoming shiny and Michelle is starting to panic. "She brought _Heat_ and _OK_, just so I could keep up with the celebrity gossip."

Michelle nods and smiles. She used to read them magazines too. She squeezes Katie's hand.

"You know," Katie mumbles, and it makes Michelle smile. She's like Emily; once you get her talking she'll never stop. Michelle raises her eyebrows in question to encourage her. "When Ems came out gay, I only hated it partly because she was _gay_-gay, and different to me." Michelle didn't even know Katie had argued about Emily's coming out. Emily only told nice stories about her sister.

Katie coughs and sniffs before carrying on. "It was mostly because she knew she was gay."

Michelle frowns. She's confused. "What do you mean?"

"Like, she _knew_ she was gay. So she must have wanted someone else, to know, yeah?" Katie shrugs and shakes her head in disappointment. "I figured I was straight because I dated loads of guys, I didn't _need_ any of them. But now Emily was telling me she did." She breathes out heavily. "She needed someone. Someone that wasn't me. And me? I only ever needed her. So, I hated that she _knew_ that she was gay because she knew she _needed_ a girl. You get me?"

Michelle nods. "Yeah. But you know, Emily did need you, Katie." She blinks back the tears welling beneath her eyelids. "She talked about you all the time."

Katie brushes her thumb under her eyes and breathes in a shaky breath. "I don't know what to do without Emily." Michelle doesn't know what to say. So, she stays quiet and hopes that Katie understands. "I don't think there's anything _to_ do."

There's silence for a bit. Katie's hand is cold under her fingers. Michelle starts to count the beating of her heart. One, Two, Three… Just to check she's alive. Just to check the world hasn't ended.

Jal. Group 2. Day 12.

Tony squeezes his hands together and looks up at her with intense eyes. They're digging into her and Jal has to step away just to feel like she has room to breathe. "What?" She repeats and shakes her head. "What is it?"

Tony swallows and looks to the floor. "Maxxie and JJ are in the forest." Jal stands straighter immediately and her feet are ready to move. "I-I don't know what to tell you but… I think… It's just…"

"What?" Jal is getting impatient. She wants to find Maxxie and JJ _now_. She doesn't understand why Tony is holding them up. "Come on, just say it quick. They're probably waiting for us now."

"Yeah, right." Tony nods and shakes his head at the same time. He looks agitated. "I have this feeling that something has happened to them. Something bad."

Jal frowns in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Tony struggles with words again, unintelligible sounds spitting out his mouth. "I…" He dismisses what he was going to say and looks behind Jal's shoulder at someone else. "Okay, just grab Sid and we'll go look for them, yeah?"

Jal grins up at Tony, jumps on her feet a little bit. She's missed Maxxie. "Sure." She says and races off to Sid behind her. All they need is Anwar back from sea and then everyone is together again.

Sid's sitting next to Cassie awkwardly. He looks relieved when he sees her approaching. "Jal? Why so happy, eh?"

"Come on, Sid. We're going to find Maxxie and JJ in the forest." Jal smiles and pats him on the arm to hurry him along. "We won't be long. Couple of hours, maybe."

Cassie looks unsure but half excited as well. "Oh, wow. But, isn't it like, totally dangerous to set another group off again. They always get lost and-"

"Yeah, lets go." Sid nods and looks at Cassie hesitantly before walking towards Tony waiting by the trees. "Be back soon, Cassie."

"Wow, okay." Cassie looks hurt at Sid's sudden departure. He almost looked eager, Jal thinks guiltily. "I so don't have a say anyway, so…" She shrugs.

Jal pulls Cassie into a hug and whispers close to her ear. "We're going to get Maxxie and JJ back." She squeezes her tighter and pulls away. "Aren't you excited?"

Cassie nods and widens her eyes. She looks back at Sid and then faces Jal. "Yeah, totally."

Jal's satisfied with leaving Cassie with a smile on her face and turns to the trees as well. Once they bring back Maxxie and JJ from the forest, and Anwar swims back to shore, they should all stick together on the island. That way they can all stick together and keep safe.

Thomas. Group 2. Day 12.

The baby buries herself into his armpit again, he pulls her away. Thomas thinks he must stink, not having a bath or shower in over a week has to be bad for his hygiene. His mother would probably argue that it is natural and perfectly fine. Thomas would prefer a nice hot shower though, even if it is just to wash the saltiness from his skin.

"She's gorgeous." Effy mutters as she looks down and pokes a finger out to push at the baby's stomach. "Have you got a name yet?" She asks, her eyes still glued to the bundle in his arms.

"We want to call her Hope." Pandora smiles. "'Cause she gives us hope, yeah? To get off this wholly weird island. Bonkers idea, right, Eff?"

Effy nods and continues to gaze down at the baby. "Yeah, that's really nice." She laughs as the baby squirms under Effy's touch. "Everyone's little bundle of hope, right?"

"Yeah, whizzer. Exactly that."

Thomas pulls his daughter up his chest a little more so she's not slipping down his arm. She's adorable, he thinks. "I wouldn't give Hope up for the world." He remarks and giggles as she releases a soft gurgle.

Effy. Group 1. Day 12.

It's a shock at first, when the gun goes missing. Cassie starts running around the whole beach in a frantic panic about where it could be. She thinks at first that maybe Tony, Jal or Sid had took it with them to go through the woods. But Cassie says that she remembers it being by the fire when they left. She says she remembers the metal shining off the sun.

Of course, when they track down where it is Effy's heart stills and refuses to beat. She can't bloody breathe.

Her hand is trembling as she holds it in her palm, the metal, as Cassie remembers, glints off the sun and shines bright into everyone's eyes. It looks devastatingly normal in the girl's hands.

She remembers the gun in Freddie's hand in her dream the night before. Effy remembers him shaking it around and looking at it like it was a piece of dirt he found on the floor. Effy feels sick as she remembers what he had been saying.

"_Someone else will need it."_

Katie swallows and frowns down at the gun in her hand. Her eyes are weak, her face is pale, and her mouth is inches away from opening. Effy doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want Katie anywhere near that object. She _knows_ that Katie isn't the one that needs to use it. That would be a sick twist of fate.

Effy remembers her promise to Emily. About keeping both Naomi and Katie safe. It was Emily's last wish to her, and everything else be damned. She will follow this through, she will look after Katie.

"_I need you to look after them."_

"Katie, what are you doing?" Effy asks, a harsh lump rising in her throat. When Katie looks up, there is so much pain in her eyes, fear courses through Effy's body. "Just… _Jesus_."

Katie laughs and stares down at the gun, like it's a piece of harmless plastic. Effy knows that with one bullet it could ruin _everything_. "I mean, this thing," she shakes the gun, "it's just metal, right?"

"Katie-"

"Just a piece of fucking metal. What can it do, right?" Katie sniggers and turns the gun around; she's running her fingers along it. "But I mean, really. It could do an awful lot."

"Wow, she's gone totally mad." Cassie mutters beside Effy.

"What are you doing?" Effy asks again, more serious now. Her face is pleading as her hand reaches out to take the gun back from Katie. "Give me the gun, yeah?"

Katie looks up and frowns at Effy. Suddenly goes back to twisting the object around in her hand. "Emily hates guns. But, do you think she'd hate one if it brought me back to her? Surely that would make it a good gun, right?"

Effy sighs and rolls her shoulders. She wishes Tony were here, he'd be much better in these situations. "Katie… Just give me the gun, okay?" She's stepped a little closer now, but Katie just retreats further away. "Emily wouldn't want you to do anything to harm you or anyone else. I know she wouldn't-"

"What the fuck would you know about Emily then, huh?" Katie's voice is angry then. Really viscous. "Because what? You knew her for two fucking years at college before you fucked off?" She shakes her head in disgust. "I knew her for my whole bloody life. Since we were born, yeah?"

"I didn't mean-"

"Well then what?" Katie tilts her head. It's not quite a warning but not quite a challenge. "The thing is, yeah? Me and Emily said we'd stick together. Completely together." Katie shrugs, like the conclusion she came to is obvious. "So, why should I stick around here when she's waiting for me up there?"

Cassie flinches as Katie points to the sky, the gun jolting in her hand. Katie looks back at her, helpless and vulnerable.

"There's no other way." She whispers sadly and wipes her eyes with her free hand.

Effy reaches her hand further and smiles encouragingly. "Katie, there's _always_ another way."

Katie's already brought the gun to her temple.

Katie. Group 1. Day 12.

She swallows. There's a large lump pressing hard against her throat. Her eyes are already leaking water, it feels like enough. Her heart feels heavy; it seems to beat at a faster pace than it ever has. It's quite a thrilling feeling, actually. Katie knows it's because of the cold metal pressing hard against her head.

"Fuck off, _no_." Katie looks up just as Cook is approaching behind Effy. His face is contorted into absolute disbelief. She sees Naomi standing to the side, watching the whole thing with a manner of interest, or boredom. Katie doesn't give a fuck anyway. She doesn't dwell on it. "What the fuck, man?"

Katie shakes her head, the metal moving with it. Emily would probably cringe down at this; she wouldn't be able to watch. But Katie knows, Emily needs her. And she needs Emily. Katie can't live if Emily isn't here, what's the point. Besides, she knows rescue isn't going to come. This is just the easiest way out. The cowards way out. But she needs it.

"Katie, put the gun down, yeah?" Cook's stepping right close up and Katie has to step back quick before he's in arms reach. She can't allow anyone too near to her. She's made up her mind.

Emily would have had the words to stop her, she would have just had to make an expression and Katie would have given up. Emily could have saved her from anything. But Emily's not here to do that, and that's the point.

"I can't." Katie rasps out weakly. Her eyes close and for a split second she swears she can see Emily smiling at her. "I just… _can't_."

Cook rubs his hands along his jaw, up his face and across his eyes. "Come on, babe." He tries, even throws in a little wink. It all looks ugly and desperate. "We haven't had our shag yet, have we princess?"

Katie tries to smile. She loves him for trying. "Maybe in another lifetime, yeah?"

"Nahh." He says. He rubs his eyes and reaches his hand, mimicking Effy's previous action. She's gone quiet again, now. Emily was always very quiet when a bigger character was around. "Put down the gun, right? Now will do just fine for me, yeah? So." He nods to himself. "So, put down the gun, and we can go at it right fucking now."

"I'm sorry." She whispers again, but Cook is already stepping forward.

"No, no. You ain't even given it a proper go yet, 'ave you? This feeling, it'll pass, okay?" His voice is pleading. Katie feels the tears roll down her cheek.

"But I have, Cook. I've tried, and I just _can't_, okay? It's like I'm fucking empty. There's nothing left in me and the _only_ thing that can fill the hole is Emily. But she's gone. So, how can I carry on? When there's always going to be half of me missing." She sighs and pushes the gun harder into her temple. "There's no point."

"Fuck." Effy hisses in front of her. Her shoulders are slumped and her face is beyond panicked.

Cook shakes his head. His eyes look shiny. "But, babe. When Freds died-"

"But it's not like that though, is it?" She asks, her voice breaking at its weakness. "Because me and Em, nothing compares to us."

She remembers growing up; everyone always thought that it was Emily that needed Katie. That Emily relied on Katie's confidence and Katie's charm. Emily was the doormat that needed stepping on. But Katie thinks, she always needed Emily. Needed her just to be there. She was never meant to become overpowering or mean. Because together, they were always equals.

Katie doesn't think there can be much more to life, not without Emily. Because Katie had already planned their futures in her heads. Together. And though they could go off and have separate families or whatever, Katie would live next to Emily and they'd have coffee together everyday. Or tea, because Emily only liked tea.

"Katie-" The voice is hazy, Katie's unsure of who it came from. She thinks it could be Cook, or Effy. But Katie thinks it also could have been Emily. Her vision is blurry and the people are just whirls of fuzziness now. There's a red splodge too, Katie thinks it's Emily.

"Katie? Seriously…" The voice says again, but maybe it was a different one. She's not sure. It could be Emily, telling her to hurry up and join her. Or Cook, telling her to put the gun down or shoot or something. There are constant murmurs around her. Yelling, whispering, pleading. She can't hear them.

Katie blinks her eyes shut. She thinks about Emily and sees her raising her eyebrow suspiciously. She remembers when she used to hide beneath the blankets in her old house. Pegged up on bookshelves and tall lights. No one could get in and no one could get out. It was just her and Emily. They would hide and whisper secrets that never were. Hold hands and sing verses from songs that never existed.

She wishes they'd never left the den. That way, they would both still be together. They would be alive.

"Katie shum." She whispers before pulling the trigger.


	16. The Close And The Nearly

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything.**_

_**It takes hours to write; seconds to review.**_

Something has moved and bumped the cradle of everything. The world is out of sync. Birds fly backwards and the fish swim through the air. Hours pass like seconds and seconds pass like hours. The light fades before the sun leaves. The stars shine before the night falls. I am here early. You are here late.  
(Please Find This; _IWroteThisForYou_)

Cook. Group 1. Day 12.

"No." He shouts, his voice breaking and developing into a whisper somewhere along the path to his ear. He thought he shouted it louder. He thought there was a spare second between the trigger being pulled and the bullet breaking skin. He thought he could save her.

There's just this _ringing_ in his head. It's deafening and loud and warning. It's not from the bullet, he's sure. Cook's heard a lot of gunshots in his life, and there's never been this siren beeping out before. He's never felt this.

He could feel his heart beat, tapping lightly against his ribcage, beating faster and faster. And then it stopped. There was the thumping of his heart, then the shot, then the ringing and then…nothing. Just silence. It's almost as if the bullet completely knocked out all audio. It's fucking wrong.

Cook stands in silence, watching as if in slow motion as Katie falls to the sand, her head crashing first. Her skin is already starting to pale, and the blood leaks out, discolouring the sand beneath her in the process. It's disgusting. Effy's rushing to her side, looking frantically at the head all the way down to Katie's toes. Disappointment and regret and sadness. All emotions cloud her face before she looks up at him.

"Cook?" He can hear her voice croak out. He can hear the rustling of the trees and the roaring sea. He can hear Michelle scream and Thomas run over. A baby cries and Naomi slumps down as if her legs collapse. He can hear Katie's broken voice in a whisper.

_"She's like, my person, yeah? It's not like you and fucking JJ or Freds. It's so much fucking more."_

He can't breathe. He doesn't know how too.

"Cook, she's dead." Effy's whispering and looking at him with shiny eyes, tears are already dripping down her cheeks. Thomas is now leaning beside Katie's body too. "Cook, what do we do?"

He watches as both of them run their hands over Katie's cuts, shaking their heads and trying to find a way out of this. Whatever this is. They just want to feel helpful or feel like they can save her or… He feels sick. "Get off her." He says and blinks down at them. "Just leave her alone. You can't do anything. She's dead."

"But," Effy's eyes are narrowing and searching for something to do that will help Katie. "But I promised Emily, I said…" She shakes her head. "There has to be another way."

Cook braises himself. "Katie's dead." He feels the pain right in his gut. "Give her some fucking dignity and leave her the fuck alone." Thomas looks up, confused at Cook's tone. "Hear me?"

He feels a hand curl inside his and he flinches away. "Cook." It's Naomi. Her hand squeezes his fingers and she attempts to pull him away. "Come on."

He swallows down a lump. Sniffs. Finally looks away. The ringing stops.

Tony. Group 2. Day 12.

The wind seems to be heavier, but the sun is still bright and hot, so the air being rushed along burns at his skin. He's only been walking for two hours, but he's already tired and ready for a nap. They haven't found them yet. Frederick had said they were in the forest. Tony thought they'd be closer to the beach.

"Tony," Jal's voice is skeptical. "You said they were in the forest, I figured you'd seen or heard them but… We still haven't found them. How do you even know they're close?"

"Hmm, I was thinking the same thing." Sid nods and turns to face Tony. They've all stopped walking. Tony feels the pressure.

"I just…know." He doesn't want to bring Frederick into it just yet. They'd all think he was mad and turn back. He knows they're in there and needs to find them. They're close. "We'll carry on for half an hour longer, then we can go back, yeah?" Sid tilts his head, Jal purses her lips. "Trust me." Tony says.

"Fine." Sid shrugs nonchalantly. "Not that we can actually keep time anyway."

Naomi. Group 1. Day 12.

Emily's fingers are cold. They always are. She's lying on her back, looking up to the sky. The same as Emily, though her eyes are shut. Naomi thinks she's dreaming.

"Your sister killed herself." Naomi whispers flatly. There's a sharp pain in her chest, and she doesn't really know why. Katie was vile to her. But it's Emily's sister, and Naomi has to admit there were times when she saw little bits of Emily in Katie, and that's probably why it hurts so much.

But then, Naomi did actually like Katie. She was very similar to her in some ways. Maybe that's why it hurts so much. Maybe it's just because Katie's death has confirmed her belief that everybody on this island is going to die eventually.

"Couldn't stand it without you." Naomi says and swallows. She doesn't want to think that Katie felt worse than she did. Because Naomi loves Emily an awful lot. It'd be impossible for someone to love her more, so maybe she just has more strength than Katie had. Maybe it's only a matter of time before Naomi follows in her path.

There are a lot of maybes going through Naomi's mind. And she's starting to think she knows nothing for certain. It's worrying her. Because Naomi was always very factual, always knew everything about everything. Except her feelings, though Naomi thinks she did know about them, she just didn't want to understand the need churning deep in her gut.

She remembers secondary school, how it was a living hell for Naomi. She'd walk through the corridors and around every corner there would be Katie or one of her many plastic minions ready to shout out abuse. It was mostly about being a raging lesbian or basically raping Emily. Naomi used to hate Katie. Especially after she caught her and her sister locking lips.

She was never jealous of Katie. There was once a feeling of complete resentment because of how close she was to Emily; Naomi wasn't even allowed anywhere near her, not without getting abuse. But Naomi refuses to call it jealousy. But now, Naomi thinks, she feels something resembling jealousy. It's sick really, but Naomi kind of envies that Katie will be in heaven now, with Emily.

Though, Naomi doesn't believe in heaven. But for Emily's sake, she believes there's something better out there. _Hopes_ there's something better out there. She wants Emily to be happy, even if it is with Katie and not her. But not for long. Naomi won't be able to manage for long.

"We'll all follow soon after." She says and nods to herself. "Only a matter of time." Naomi is sure that this beach is doomed, that as soon as they all fell from the sky and landed on the sand, they were all written off. No one is going to survive this. She knows something is coming, she just doesn't know what it is.

Sid. Group 1. Day 12.

"Shit." It comes from his throat before he can stop it. He doesn't even know he's spoken until Jal looks at him questioningly and walks to his side.

"What? Sid, wha…" She trails off and gasps at the fallen tree in front of her. Sid has to swallow and look away. "Oh my God." Jal whispers, shaking her head and walking forward. "No, no, no, no." Her voice is becoming weaker. "No, this isn't happening."

Tony's close behind and as soon as he looks at Sid's face, Sid can see worry and confirmation. He knew something bad was coming, Sid thinks. He led them here, knowing. Jal's starting to cry; Sid can hear her. He closes his eyes and tries to wipe the image from his mind, knowing he'll have to turn back around eventually.

"Shit. _Shit_." Tony hisses when he eventually disappears from Sid's view and rushes behind his back. "Okay, shit. Alright." Sid can tell from his voice that he's trying to come up with a plan, but he doesn't think there's anything Tony could do to make up for this. "Right, come on. Let's get this tree off of them."

Sid turns around to face the scene again and feels his stomach drop and his throat become tighter. He has to breathe heavily to stop himself from breaking down. He has to be strong. Jal is doing nothing to hold back tears though, and she's fallen to Maxxie's side and is stroking his face

"Sid? Jal?" Tony looks from one to the other, and Sid wants to smack him for being so damn insensitive. Instead he clenches his fists and looks down at his feet. He can't look anywhere without feeling the need to help Tony or comfort Jal or cry for Maxxie and JJ. Sid just wants to go back. This was not what he was expecting when Jal told him they were going to find JJ and Maxxie. "Let's get them out of there."

"Yeah, okay." Jal whispers, but her voice is gone and her eyes are red and sore. She looks up at Sid questioningly and he nods and walks over to the other side. Jal sniffs and follows.

"Sid, grab the end. Jal, the other end. I'll lift the middle." Sid steps over the feet peeking out from the tree and grips onto a large branch coming off the end. "Ready? After three."

Sid tightens his grip and closes his eyes. "One." Jal looks up and Sid can make out her teary eyes, they're shining off the light coming through the trees. He swallows and looks away. "Two." Tony breathes out and purses his lips. "Three."

He can hear Tony groan as he tries to lift the tree, his lips are open and his teeth are smacked together. Sid frowns and pulls the trunk up and tries to drag it. His end seems to be up and the middle is just lifting off the ground. His arms are starting to hurt. Jal's nostrils are flared but she can't seem to lift her side.

"Jal?" Tony winces and turns to her. "Just…a…little…higher." He breathes out, but Sid knows that they'll all drop it in a minute if they don't move it quick enough. Jal nods and braises herself; he can see her cheek muscles harden. "Okay, pull away." They all move to the side and Sid hears more moaning as they drag the tree away.

When they are finally clear of the bodies, Jal lets out a sigh and runs for the two boys immediately, hands at their necks and wrists. "They have no fucking pulse." She whimpers and turns around. "It looks as if they've been dead for a couple of days." She's crying all over again and Tony rushes to pull her into a tight hug.

Sid just watches. He can't do anything. He can feel his eyes becoming wet and his heart starting to slow. He can't do anything but stand and watch. Sid always feels so fucking useless.

Pandora. Group 2. Day 12.

She's left Thomas with Hope. He's good with her, and she feels a little too down to take care of her right now. She doesn't want to cry in front of her baby. Effy is still sitting by Katie's body, her head buried in her knees and arms as she rocks back and forth. Michelle and Cassie are by the fire looking awkward. Naomi is lying with Emily's body, looking up to the sky and tugging on her hand.

Cook's by the sea looking very sullen and helpless. "Alright, Cookie." Pandora tries to sound chirpy or at least a little happy, but her voice cracks and she sounds like her grandma trying to sing opera. It's ludicrously awful. Cook looks up at her and winces. "Mind if I sit by you?"

He sniffs and shakes his head. "Whatever, babe." It sounds dull. She nods and drops to his side.

They're both silent for a while until Cook lifts his arm around her and she leans into his side. She likes the comfort and she thinks Cook probably needs it. He looks terrible. Pandora never really feels at a loss for words and she's never struggled with finding the right thing to say. She just speaks and it usually turns out okay. But Cook looks so broken; she doesn't know how to make it better.

"It's all fucking shit, innit?" He shakes his head and closes his eyes for a second. Pandora nods and watches him take several heavy breaths in and out. It's as if he's trying to calm himself, or stop himself from breaking down. "Katie weren't meant to die, yeah. I could've saved her."

"Cookie, she was whizzer upset, I don't think it were possible to save her, yeah?" Pandora says and has to look away. Cook frowns and his eyes look completely shattered. She wants to say something totally brilliant that will make him smile. She wants to make this all better. But she can't. "It's not your fault."

"Nahh, babe. 'Cause it is." He shakes his head and scrunches up his nose. "I shoulda' saw is coming. I could've stopped her. _Jesus_."

"Tomo says they're all in heaven now, though. It's bonkers great, yeah? And Katie will be with Ems and they'll all be having a right great time. Having super-duper fun." Cook pulls her closer and rests her head on top of his shoulder. The waves are crashing in and frothing out. "She'll be whizzer happy now."

"But, she was happy with me." Cook says and he sounds weak and doubtful. "I 'ad Katie. Back in the forest, we were taking care of each other. But now," He sniffs and shakes his head. "Now I'm back to the start, in't I? Cookie's got nuffin', again. Cookie's always got nuffin'."

Pandora reaches for his hand over her shoulder and squeezes. "That's wholly not true. It's bonkers mad saying that. 'Cause you have me, don't you? I'll keep you company."

He breathes out a small chuckle, but it dies out and Cook cringes at the sound. "Yeah, okay." He nods and looks up to the sky. "Yeah, I got you Panda Pops. I fuckin' got you."

She relaxes against his body and wishes they were better friends in college. She fucked it all up after she surfed 'n' turfed him. Maybe if she never had opened her box, then they could have been best chums. But she had Eff. Cook and Pandora; they both had Effy in different ways. So, maybe they couldn't have worked it out so much.

But Pandora is going to look after everyone on this island now. She won't let anything bad happen.

Jal. Group 2. Day 12.

She has JJ's arm over her shoulder; his other is pulled across Sid's. He's not as heavy as Jal thought he would be. She's too small though, and his feet are starting to drag across the mud as they pull him through the forest. It just makes it worse. She feels like they aren't giving him enough dignity. Maxxie is in Tony's arms.

She can't stop crying. Sid keeps throwing her sad and sympathetic looks whenever she sniffs or releases a little cry. She can't help it. Her chest just feels so heavy and the lump in her throat is eager to be released into another wave of tears. Sid looks upset as well, his eyes keep fading to shiny and then dry. Like he can't make up his mind whether to cry. He hasn't spoken since they arrived at the scene.

She's used to death, has seen enough of them. She works in a hospital and though at times it can be the best place in the world, it is often the opposite. She's felt loss, felt disappointed and has somewhat gotten used to pale skin and clothes drenched in blood. But it still breaks her heart.

Jal thinks that if someone had told her Maxxie was dead back in her normal life, she would have had a little cry and tried to get on with life. She wouldn't have even known JJ. But it hurts more on the island. Because she got to know Maxxie again, she met JJ. And because every person is another boat of hope. Another death just adds to the pile of passengers that didn't make it.

Jal still thinks they're all here for a reason though. Because there's no such thing as a coincidence. She just doesn't know why yet. But when she finds out, she's going to do everything she can to save everyone else.

She's a nurse, and saving is what she's meant to do.

Effy. Group 1. Day 12.

"_I love them both so much, promise me you'll look after them. Katie will be-"_

"_Because me and Em, nothing compares to us."_

She feels like shit. She doesn't think she did enough, she didn't try hard enough, didn't say the right words, didn't pull the right expressions or make the right gestures. Effy didn't stop her. Katie's dead, and Effy couldn't stop her. She remembers the minute the bullet shot through Katie's head. Can see her eyes slam shut and her body plummet to the ground.

Effy can see it all happening again, over and over and over. Like a bad film, faulty in all the wrong places. The finger presses against the trigger so slowly Effy's starting to think Katie wanted to be rescued. That she was just waiting for the right words or something to stop her. Maybe Katie was waiting for Emily to save her. Maybe it was Effy's place all along.

Katie's dead. Effy couldn't stop it.

She promised Emily she'd look after Katie, and now it's all gone to shit. She broke her promise and she can only hope that's the only thing that was broken in Katie's death. She can't deal with all the emotions sailing around in the aftermath. This is the reason why Effy never likes being trusted on. Why she never likes being relied on. She was never good in a relationship because she couldn't handle the trust or the expectations. Effy mostly always fails.

And now, Effy sighs into her arms. Now she's failed Emily.

"_You can't blame yourself, Effy. If you did everything, then she can't exactly blame you, can she?"_

Effy wants to remember Freddie's words and nod at them. Feel relieved and agree. But she didn't do everything. She didn't step far enough, didn't reach Katie in time or manage to pry away the gun. Effy didn't do everything, because if all else failed, she should have pounced on Katie and fought her for the gun. Emily has all the right to feel betrayed and blame Effy for Katie's death. After all, it was Effy's fault.

"_People deal with grief in different way, you know?"_

Effy thinks that Freddie was most probably talking about Katie. About how she couldn't handle her grief. She couldn't stand Emily's loss or the prospect of life without her. Effy knew the moment she told Katie, that something was wrong. Death became more appealing than life. To find out that all the days she spent searching for her twin sister had been useless. That now she had to go on with half of herself missing. That's what did Katie in.

Maybe Freddie was talking about her. How she can't seem to remove the blame from herself or move from Katie's side. She can't look at her bloodied face or the gaping wound still leaking with blood. She can't look at any part of Katie's pale body or faded lips or ripped clothes. But Effy needs to stay with her. She needs to look after Katie in some way. Even if only for Emily. And she needs to keep a watch out for Naomi.

Maybe Freddie was talking about Cook. How Naomi dragged him away from Katie's body, and he hasn't left the sea front since. Pandora has spoken to him, she can see. Effy thinks Naomi has gone back to him a few times too. But his body is just sitting on the sand, staring out to the sea or looking up to the sky. Effy wonders if he's thinking of Katie being up there. Or whether he believes in some sort of heaven at all.

Maybe Freddie was talking about Naomi. The night they all stood and watched her cradle Emily's body in her arms, when the only light was from the forgotten moon, that was the moment Naomi really disappeared. Effy can look at Naomi and see she's not really there at all. It's just a poor imitation of what she used to be. A shell without the snail. She doesn't seem to care about anything. She lies with Emily's body and pretends she's oblivious. It's not healthy.

Maybe Freddie was talking about Anwar. He couldn't deal without his family, so he swam away. Kicked and splashed just to get off this island. No one has heard or seen anything of him. He could have made it somewhere, or he could still be swimming or… Effy cringes at the other alternative.

Then again, and Effy hates how confused she is about it, maybe Freddie was just talking about all of them. Maybe it was about something yet to come, or something already happened. Maybe they're all doomed and ticked off for a gruesome death on this island. But Freddie told her to wait. Freddie won't let Effy down. Even if Effy lets everyone else down.

_"All will become clear. You just have to wait."_

Cassie. Group 1. Day 12.

She remembers closing her eyes and falling asleep next to Michelle. Usually when she falls asleep there's just blackness surrounding her. But, Cassie frowns and looks around, there seems to be white surrounding her instead. It's like a room, but not. Because a room usually has a door or at least walls to hold the door in place, but this one goes on forever with nothing to close off the never ending whiteness.

She's wearing white clothes. The kind she used to wear every time she had to stay at a hospital over night. She always liked them; it was a difference to her colourful clothes and, now, the bloodied muddy ones back on the island. Cassie wonders where she is.

"Cassie." The voice is quite scary. Dull and low. She knows who it is. "How's the island?"

Cassie turns and smiles at Chris. He looks upset and not himself. Maybe he's lonely. "Wow, Chris." She does a little jump and feels the first wave of happiness for a long time. "The island? Wow, it's just like, totally horrible. Everyone hates me, and everyone keeps dying. It's so like…" She shrugs and looks to the floor. "I don't like it."

"Both the twins then? Already?" His voice is knowing and Chris sniffs a little bit. "Emily's properly gone then." He looks up at her and his eyes are bloodshot. Cassie feels sorry for him.

"Mm, yeah," She nods but her attention is on Chris' sad eyes and droopy mouth. "Chris, why are you so upset? You look totally awful." He shakes his head and widens his eyes. Gives her a warning look.

"Nothing, Cass. There's nothing up. Just everything's a bit depressing, yeah? But, hey, it won't last much longer." Chris has a whisper of a smile on his face after that and Cassie walks a little more towards him. She's all of a sudden confused.

"Wow, okay. What do you mean? What won't last much longer?"

Chris shrugs again and then takes a breath in. "Listen, Cass. You're all going to have to make a decision soon. You can choose to stay on the island, or go back to the real world, but-"

Cassie shoots her hand up. "Yeah, I choose that. I don't want to stay on the island any more. No one does. So…"

Chris rolls his eyes and laughs. "Nothing is ever that simple, is it, Cassie?" She purses her lips and narrows her eyes. "If you go back, then you have to go back to a certain time and you can only know certain people. You know?"

Cassie nods. "Okay. So, I could choose you, Sid, Michelle, Maxxie, Anw-"

"No, you can't choose them. You'd go back to Roundview and you would have to make different friends." Chris looks upset again and he reaches for Cassie's hands. She lets him take them; his skin is cold. "You can't know anyone here."

"Wow, yeah, okay. But, why would anyone choose that? I'm not doing it. That's totally stupid."

"Cass-"

"I'm not going to live without Sidney." She pulls away and folds her arms over her chest. Just to seem determined. Just to seem powerful. "So, no. That's so not what's going to happen."

Chris looks annoyed. He looks over his shoulder and rubs his hands over his face. "Fine." He sighs. Cassie feels bad but, no. No, she won't go along with this. She needs Sid, and he needs her, she thinks. She wants her home in New York and that comfy armchair by the fire and that silly little café down the road that say 'Coffee' in the funniest accent and… No. Cassie doesn't want that.

"Fine, Cass. I guess you'll have to make up your mind later anyway. You still have time." He doesn't sound hopeful, he already knows anyway. Maybe Chris is just trying to mess with her head. That's what Cassie used to like doing. "But, remember, it's not your fault. When everyone blames you tomorrow, remember that okay."

She frowns. Cassie didn't understand anything that Chris just said.

"Oh no. People totally hate me anyway." Chris reaches for her hand again and she sighs into his hold. "I so don't want tomorrow to come then. What's going to happen, Chris?"

"Just, remember, okay? Don't ever start blaming yourself, Cass." He looks down at her and raises his eyebrows to make sure she understands. She swallows. "Everyone is just confused and desperate. They feel that they have to take it out on someone." She swallows and closes her eyes. Tries to remember the feel of Chris' hands covering hers.


	17. The Simple Shattering Of Water

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything.**_

_**It takes hours to write; seconds to review.**_

It's because you and them were made of the same pieces. And afterwards, when you put yourself back together, some piece of them remained.  
(Please Find This; _IWroteThisForYou_)

Tony. Group 2. Day 13.

It takes longer than he expected, getting them all back to the beach. It's already started to get light again and the sun is just rising over the horizon. The leaves rustle quietly and Jal's sniffling is beginning to sound a little tiring even for her. They had to make stops for her, so she could wipe at her eyes and swallow back the lump in her throat again. He had to rest his arms too, Maxxie is rather heavy.

Tony thinks that he would have probably cried by now if his mind hadn't been so distracted. If it wasn't repeating the number _5_ over and over again. Like if he thought about the number hard enough, all the answers would come.

_"All the five people that have died on the island-"_

He keeps adding it up in his head. Emily. Maxxie. JJ. That's three dead. And then he comes to a brick wall, he can count three dead people and that's where he has to stop. Maybe Frederick was mistaken, or didn't actually know at all how many people had or was going to die on this island. Perhaps Tony is obsessing over something silly.

But two people. Two lives potentially at risk, and Tony is, as far as he knows, the only person to know about it. So what can he do? What can he possibly do to stop two more survivors lose their grip on life. The island wouldn't be able to manage with another death. When they find out about Maxxie and JJ, Tony thinks that everything will turn even more shit. Death is becoming too common on this island. The word shouldn't even have to be used.

So, that's what is going through Tony's head as he steps through the branches and sees the sea crashing in and the fire still burning and plane wreck still lying in the sand. Two more people. Two more people.

And Tony comes back to reality once he sees two identical pale faces lying next to each other. Both bodies covered in blood. Both bodies looking lifeless. Emily and Katie. Tony looks across to Jal and Sid and watches as both their eyes land on the two girls. Tony swallows and blinks away the horror and disappointment. He's quick to add another death to the list.

Cook. Group 1. Day 13.

"What?" His voice is croaky and wavy. It hurts him to speak. It hurts him even more to move his legs and march over to the returning survivors. His eyes are wide and studying everything about them, from their distressed look to the bodies in their arms. "What?… No."

"Cook." Effy is suddenly behind him, he hadn't even known she was still awake, and her hand is reaching to grab his. "Cook, you need to calm down, yeah? Let them explain before-"

"What the fuck man?" Jal seems to recoil away from Cook, Sid offers JJ in front and Cook's stomach lurches forward. He's about to be sick. Cook's about to spew all his guts out. Because he thinks he's probably been made to feel pain, to lose everyone. "Nahh, this 'ain't happening, is it? This 'ain't real?" He rubs his hands across his face and feels rough skin meet rough skin. It feels horrible.

Tony steps in, laying down another body in his hands and walking forward, holding a hand in front of him. "Cook, right? I know you're friends with-"

"Don't fucking tell me who I'm friends with, yeah?" His throat is closing up. JJ's body is pale. Katie's body is pale. Emily's body is pale. Cook wants t be pale, he doesn't want to be here. He doesn't want to lose everyone. He doesn't want to be a lonely fucker again. "What'd you do to Jay, then? 'Cause I'll fucking punch the fucking shit out of you, you hear?"

Effy reaches to grab his arm again. "Cook-"

"What fucking happened to JJ?" Cook sets his eyes accusingly on Tony, his shoulders hunched, his head tilted to the side. Cook's ready for a fight. He's ready to feel pain, to give pain. He needs to punch the living shit out of something. And he remembers back to the punch-bag in Freddie's shed. How he once taught JJ how to punch, he was shit and Freddie and him just ended up taking the piss out of JJ.

"A tree fell." Tony's answer is simple. So fucking simple it aches. JJ's death will never be simple; it'll never be _just_ this or _just_ that. Because JJ is clever, he can't die. He's too clever to die. Not Cook though. Cook will always be up for a fight and putting his neck on the line. Cook loves testing how far he can take things. JJ was safe, he was never in trouble. So JJ's death will always be anything but _simple_.

He laughs evilly, it sounds bitter. "Oh, that right now, is it?" Cook tries to sound horrible, like a really fucking sarcastic dick. "A tree fell, and now he's dead. That it?" Tony nods, his face straight and emotionless. Cook already hates his guts.

"Cook." It's Effy's voice again. Trying to help, to make it better, to fucking… he doesn't know. But he wants nothing to do with it. Nothing to do with any of the fucking Stonems. Nothing to do with fucking _anyone._

"You know what, Eff?" Cook's voice is harsh, he looks at Tony and his eyes are already warning. "Stop trying to fucking help, yeah? You got Panda and your fucking best mates. I got none of mine. I 'ain't got JJ no more, Freds no more. I 'ain't even got Katie, have I?" Cook scowls and shakes his head in disgust. They all make him sick. "Go fuck off. 'Cause you got every'fink. I got nuffin'. I always got nuffin.'"

When Cook looks, he sees Tony's fists are clenched tightly and shaking with restraint. "I know you're angry, but don't take it out on my sister."

Cook sniggers and shakes his head. He raises his eyebrows defiantly and almost prays for Tony to fight back. So Cook can feel a hard punch across his cheek, so Cook can let out his anger. So Cook can feel something other than the emptiness in his stomach and the loss in his gut and the fucking painful knot tied up in his throat. Cook's ready. "I'll do what I fucking want."

The punch doesn't come as a shock. Effy gasps. Sid steps forward. Jal looks up from Maxxie's body. Cook laughs in relief. He nods. "Yeah." He flares his nostrils and bits his lip. "Yeah? Fucking come on then."

Tony lurches forward again and his fist collides with Cook's cheek. It should make Cook reel back with anger, make him clench his fists and fight back. But it feels so fucking good. He spits blood from his mouth and smirks back at Tony. Cook turns to Effy again, looks her up and down and hisses. The punch comes again and Tony almost looks reluctant. But Cook's always suspected the Stonems were too fucking territorial.

Cook doesn't fight back. He closes his eyes and takes the hits and the punches and the pushes. Because Cook's not like JJ, he doesn't play it safe. He doesn't follow the rules and then end up fucking dying anyway. Cook pushes things, he goads people on until the line is crossed and the limit is far left behind. He has no reason to stop anyway. He has no one to fight back for.

Cassie. Group 1. Day 13.

Maxxie's eyes are closed gently against his skin. His eyelashes are so blonde they're almost white. His mouth look fragile too, and Cassie runs her finger across it and winces as her thumb rises over the bumps in his lips. Maxxie always looked so radiant and happy and fun. Cassie's never seen him so dull.

She sniffs and looks away. JJ's gone too, she can see Thomas and Pandora snivelling over the body. Cassie would like to cry; she thinks t would be appropriate and expected of her. But she can't. Surrounded by hundreds of dead passengers it's almost become a norm that people will die on this island. But she doesn't want to think of it that way, because it's depressing and a sad thought. She can't cry.

Anyway, she thinks and watches everybody stumble around looking to the ground and wishing their lives away, this isn't going to last much longer. Chris told her. They can all go back to the real world soon, and everybody will be alive and well and happy and… Cassie winces. And they won't know each other. She doesn't want that. Though Sid refuses to acknowledge her at the minute, he's just in a grieving stage and really; they can't be without each other.

Cassie's never been to a funeral. Her parents never let her go to her grandparents, they said it was too depressing, and she missed Chris', she was in New York. So, it's a surprise that the bodies are still laying around like ordinary living humans. Because they're dead and soon enough, Cassie doesn't know how soon they'll leave, the bodies will rot away. She doesn't know what she's meant to do with a body though; she guesses if she observed a funeral she would know.

"What's that?" It's Sid's voice that pulls her from her dreaming. He's standing by the sea, pointing out to a shaded object floating closer to shore. "Guys, what the hell is that?" Jal and Effy are already up and inspecting. Eventually everyone is there, surrounding Sid by the sea front. But Cassie doesn't move. Her stomach is twisting.

Chris said something about today, about everyone blaming her. And maybe this, Cassie thinks and prays Chris was wrong, is the thing that makes today different from every other day. Because nothing has ever travelled in the sea before. She can hear everyone talking and see their frowns as they lean forward to see. She holds her breath.

"Wait… Is that…" Thomas is the one that identifies it first. "It's Anwar."

There's denial. Cassie drops her head to her knees. She never wanted this to happen. She prays, _prays_ Thomas is wrong. That he's going blind or he's seeing things or that it's anything but Anwar. This wasn't meant to happen.

There's splashes and Cassie looks up. Tony and Sid are already in the water swimming to get the bobbing object. Michelle is starting to cry, like she hasn't already done enough of that today, and she's grabbing comfort from Jal and squeezing her into a tight hug. Cook rubs his bruised face and walks off. Pandora holds the baby tighter, and Thomas holds Pandora tighter. Naomi looks bored. Effy is shaking her head, like some part of her knew this already.

Jal sobs a drowned out, "No," and that's when Cassie's worst nightmare is confirmed. It's Anwar. She told him to go and defy everyone else. She was the only one that encouraged it. She's to blame. And when Michelle looks back, she can already see the venom in her stare. Cassie gulps. Sid will hate her forever now; she's stuck loving him.

"_But, remember, it's not your fault. When everyone blames you tomorrow, remember that okay."_

Cassie didn't want this to happen. She wouldn't have told Anwar to go if she knew this would be the turn out.

Effy. Group 1. Day 13.

Tony and Sid drag the body out to shore. He's pale, so fucking pale. Tony is wiping his face from the water and it looks as if he's taking special care around his eyes, like he's been crying. Sid just drops to the floor and buries his face in his knees. Anwar is dead. Freddie had said as much:

"_And when the tide comes in, it's already too late."_

Jal looks like she has to really push Michelle off her to get to Anwar. She checks his pulse and shakes her head. Like they didn't already know he was dead. The confirmation makes Michelle start blubbering all over again. Effy turns and looks at Naomi. She's just staring at the body, no real emotion.

Effy hasn't got time to do anything; she's just looked back from Naomi when she sees Michelle storming past everybody towards Cassie sitting by Maxxie. Effy knows what's coming and has to jog to keep up with Michelle. Tony isn't far behind and he has an expression that says he's not going to save Cassie from this. He'll just help condemn her.

"Michelle, it's not her fault, yeah? Just leave it." Effy tries and reaches out but Tony grabs her hand before it reaches Michelle's arm.

"Don't get involved with this, Eff. We know Cassie much better than you do."

"What?" She looks up to Tony's face, set in a frown with eyes that are burning through her. She wants to laugh at the ridiculousness of that comment, the pathetic implication, and cry because of the whole ruddy situation. "What? You mean you think Cassie did this on purpose? Are you out of your mind?"

Tony shakes his head. He's being a twat. "Cassie likes to screw with people, Effy." Michelle is already in front of Cassie and Tony looks to his side and seems eager to join. "She enjoys fucking everything up."

With that, he storms off towards Cassie and Michelle. And Effy knows this will be hell. Because she knows Cassie well enough to know that she would never want anything bad to happen to people, not like this anyway. Things are fucked up. They just need someone to blame to make themselves feel less guilty. Effy thinks they couldn't have chosen a more unstable person.

Michelle. Group 2. Day 13.

Cassie looks scared. Michelle doesn't care because this is her fault. This is her fault and she wants Cassie to know it.

"Look what you've fucking done." She thrusts her hand across to the sea and the people surrounding Anwar's dead body. _Dead_ body. "See? You fucking killed him. Anwar is _dead_ because of _you_."

Cassie's face is scrunched up, and it looks as if she's grabbed Maxxie's limp hand for support. This just makes Michelle angrier. She doesn't want to be mean, but she is _so angry_, she really couldn't stand doing anything else than telling Cassie what she thinks. Anwar would be alive if it wasn't for her stupid little encouragement.

"Wow, but. No." Cassie shakes her head, blinks rapidly, opens and closes her mouth. She knows this is all on her, Michelle thinks, she knows she's to blame. "I told him to do what he wants. It's like… Nobody was even giving him a chance. So, I was just trying to be lovely. I was just trying to… I was trying to-"

"You were trying to fucking kill him, were you?" Tony chips in and Michelle jumps a little at the unexpected arrival. "You told him to go off because, what? You wanted a bigger share in food? You didn't like him anymore?" Cassie flinches at the accusation and Michelle winces a little bit too. Tony's being extremely harsh. "What was it, Cassie? Maybe you didn't need a reason, just like college. You fucked with people in college for a game, was it just that then?"

"Oh, wow." Cassie's eyes widen and she looks to the people by the sea and back at Michelle and Tony. "I totally didn't want this to happen. This isn't… Like, seriously." Tony tilts his head. Michelle swallows and has to look away. Cassie looks so lost and alone and helpless and… Michelle doesn't want to feel bad for this. "Wow, I so didn't want this. You have to believe me-"

"Yeah? Well, we don't." Michelle barks and immediately feels bad again.

Cassie searches their faces. "But, I mean, this is totally-"

"You know what?" Tony grunts and looks Cassie up and down evilly. "No one is safe around you, are they? You want to fuck with everybody's life."

Cassie squeezes her hand hard around Maxxie's. Michelle watches as her skin becomes as pale white as Maxxie's. "It's like, none of you are even listening to me anyway." Cassie wipes at her eyes with her free hand, she looks completely wrecked and Michelle wants to leave this now. She doesn't want to make this worse. "It's so totally unfair." Cassie's voice is wavy.

"Yeah, well if you hadn't of fucking kill-"

"Tony," Michelle grabs his arm and he whips his head round, like he's suddenly been taken out of a trance. "Tony, let's leave it now. We've done enough." His eyes soften and he sighs again.

"Yeah, right." He looks to Cassie and back to Michelle again. She pulls him along with her. She's always been able to control Tony's moods to some degree. His eyes always _see_ her and then he just becomes fine and calm. Tony's safe when he's with Michelle.

Cook. Group 1. Day 13.

Naomi hunches her back and then relaxes it. Flops to the floor next to him and lays on her back so their shoulders are touching. "It's sad." She says.

Cook shrugs, moves Naomi's shoulder with his movement. "Suppose so." He's not really bothered. He didn't know Anwar anyway, just gathered things about him from everyone's reaction. Anwar isn't important to Cook. "JJ's dead." His voice is flat and monotone. He can't figure out how the best way of saying it is yet. It hasn't had enough time to sink in.

"Yeah." Naomi nods and reaches for his hand.

"Katie's dead. I quite liked her, you know?" It's an understatement. Cook thinks that Katie was perfect and lovely and fit, but he can't say that to Naomi. He doesn't want to tell anyone about how he feels strangely at a loss now that she's gone. Like he's missing something. The punch line in a humourless joke. Naomi hums. "She was nice, real nice."

He can still remember her taste. He has to scrape his tongue along the roof of his mouth or run it roughly off his teeth to get rid of it. It's not that he wants to forget her, Cook wants to remember everything about Katie, it's that he can't taste her or remember her body pressed against his. He feels a low ache when he thinks of her. If he had knows Katie could make him feel like this, he would have made more of an effort in college.

"And Emily." Cook whispers. Naomi flinches and looks away. "Emily's dead." It's bluntly put and this time it's Cook's turn to squeeze Naomi's hand. It has to be said though, because Cook's seen the way Naomi looks over at Emily's body. Like there's still a chance she'll wake up, like there's a possibility she's just sleeping. It has to be said, and no one else would say it to Naomi. They're afraid she'll break.

"We'll die soon." She says, like it's matter of fact. "Everyone will die soon."

"That's fucking depressing, love." Cook whispers and watches the clouds float over his head in the sky. Maybe everyone is there right now. Playing happy families and watching them all down on the island like a fucking television soap opera.

Tony. Group 2. Day 13. 

The water bottle is where he expected. He's had enough of this. It's time, he's decided. He picks up the bottle that Emily had dropped, the plastic is bloody from Emily's hands and the water is dirty, and he marches over to the fire where he has gathered everybody.

"Right," Everybody looks up expectantly at his voice. He coughs and throws the bottle to the ground. "So, I've been going crazy in the last two weeks. Fucking mental, so you have to stick with me and trust me. Got it?"

Thomas nods first, always the most eager. Hope gurgles in his arms and he smiles down at her. Tony has to drag his eyes away. "Go on then." Cook urges impatiently, his eyes are still bruised from earlier and his face looks bloody and painful. Tony has to drag his eyes away from that too.

"Right, so. Straight to the point, I've been seeing a ghost." He looks at Effy and then away. This will hurt. "Frederick Mclair." Cook and Effy flinch and look away. Tony thinks it's best if he just carries on. "He's been telling me things that have to happen, that will happen and just, everything really."

"Like what?" Cook sounds angry.

"He said five people would die on this island. And, there has been. It's the limit now, and it's time to just stop this." Tony swallows and claps his hands together. "Emily new about this too." Naomi breathes in too hard and chokes. Cook swings his arm around her. "That's why she went into the woods, that night. The night before she died. She got this water." He picks up the bottle.

"Jesus, Tony. You've gone fucking mental." Michelle says and Jal nods next to her. Tony feels like a fucking fool. But he has to carry on. He doesn't care anymore.

"Frederick told me where to find Maxxie and JJ, he implied they were dead. He told me to get the water bottle that Emily got." Tony's shaking his head. "We have to go back to Roundview."

"Chris told me that." Cassie whispers and everyone turns to look at her. She's sat away from the crowd because they all kept shooting her evils. Tony knows he's been pretty harsh to her, but he doesn't doubt she deserves it. "He said we had to go back to a certain time and know certain people. Back to Roundview. It's totally weird."

Cook stands immediately and shakes his head, a dirty smile pressed on his mouth. "Yeah?" He looks at them both. "You guys are fucking mental. I 'ain't standing around for this." He looks as if he's about to walk off but Naomi pulls his arm until he's fallen back to sitting next to her again. He roles his eyes but doesn't look angry with Naomi.

"What does that mean?" Jal asks. Everyone turns to look at her. She is, at the moment, the only person that seems to believe anything Cassie and Tony have said. "I mean, the certain things thing."

"Well, if we go back, we can only know people we knew before Roundview. So, mainly family, I think." He explains and Cassie nods. They all look sceptical.

"Right but," Michelle coughs. "Say you're telling the truth and haven't lost the plot," she looks at Tony pointedly. Like she believes he's actually gone crazy. "Then, how exactly do you plan on getting us back to Roundview?"

Tony swallows. "Well, I know it's something to do with the bottle. Maybe we have to drink it or something. Just…" He rubs his hands down his face in exasperation. "Just, when we find out, I want you all to know that we have to choose what to do together. We have to decide to go back and not know each other," Tony looks at Michelle, her eyes are sad and he looks away immediately. "Or stay here and pray rescue will come eventually."

Thomas stands and jolts Hope further up his arm; Pandora stands next to him confused. She obviously doesn't understand why they are standing up. "I am not going back." He says with conviction, looking around at everybody. "I have my baby and Pandora with me now. I will not lose them."

Pandora does a half nod next to him.

There's chatter amongst the group and Tony can only pray that they'll know the answers soon. That they can all come to a decision together and not have to fight it out. The response is mixed though, and Tony's worried that it will all turn into a blood bath before the verdict is made.

Naomi. Group 1. Day 13.

She's lying on a pale floor surrounded by whiteness. She guesses it's a room, but without any walls. She's surprised there's even a floor. She doesn't move, just blinks up into nothing and waits for this dream to end. For the colour of red to ink into the white and make her feel a whole lot comfortable. For the next dream.

"Alright?" Naomi doesn't flinch at the sudden voice. She can see him staring down at her, he's the guy from the dream she had of Roundview and of an Emily that didn't know her. "Don't get up on my account, I'll get down to your level." She doesn't respond. "After all, you are the guest."

"Why are you invading my dreams?" She asks, her voice in monotone. "Christian, right?"

"Christopher." He corrects. He's already lying on the floor and looking into the nothingness she can see. He doesn't seem bothered by it, like he's used to the view. "And I'm always in your dreams, love, because I'm important. 'Sides, I've only been in one."

"This makes two."

"Fine, two." Christopher shrugs and folds his arms over his chest. "Wanna' know why I'm important?"

Naomi huffs and roles her eyes. "No."

Christopher doesn't seem disheartened; he carries on like Naomi hadn't answered him. "'Cause I'm here to tell you about the plan. About how you can get back and all that. Interested now?"

"No."

"Emily used to come here, you know?" Naomi whips her head to face Christopher. He has a sick satisfied smug look on his face and Naomi wants to punch him. "Whenever she weren't conscious, she'd be here."

"So," Naomi's voice is sour and she sits up and faces Christopher. He looks worried for a second and then mimics her action so they're sitting opposite each other. "So, you mean to tell me you were the one that sent her on the fucking death trip into the forest." Christopher blinks and Naomi watches with pleasure as he struggles to swallow. "You fucking killed her?"

"No." He holds his hands up in surrender. "I couldn't make her do anything. And now, you have a chance to go back and she has a chance to live. She's a fucking hero, died to save you all, she did."

Naomi rubs at her eyes. Emily is something like a hero, she's rather special. She has to breath heavily through her nostrils and blink rapidly to get rid of the arising tears. "So, just tell me how we can fucking get back and I can see Emily, yeah?"

Christopher nods happily. "Yeah." Naomi raises her eyebrows impatiently. "Right, well the water bottle Emily got, you all have to drink from it. Just one sip."

"That's it?"

"Yeah, basically. And then dead passengers too. Only the ones that were ever alive on the island though. Like the five of 'em." Christopher claps his hands together. "Do that, and you'll be back at Roundview in no time."

Naomi smiles to herself. The prospect of seeing Emily making her more excited by the second. "And then me and Em can be together?"

Christopher looks around awkwardly. "Sure." He says and bites his lip. Naomi frowns. "Oh, and by the way," he adds and reaches for her shoulder. "Remember how beautiful the weather is. It never rains, yeah?"

Naomi shrugs and starts to feel tired. She's lying on her back in no time and looking back up into the blankness above her. A dream should work the opposite way, Naomi thinks, she's never fallen asleep in a dream before.


	18. The Nod And The Wink

_**Based on the television series, Lost. Characters from the television series, Skins. Quote from iwrotethisforyou. I do not own anything.**_

_**This story was never about the characters going back to Roundview; it was about their time on the island and the possible realisation that things started going wrong for them at the college. This might disappoint you, but it was my plan all along to tell the story of their journey on the island itself.**_

_**I appreciate it an awful lot that you took the time to read this. If you didn't enjoy it, I'm sorry. If you did, I'm grateful and pleased. I know it was a little depressing, but I thought everything was relevant. I hope you have enjoyed it.**_

_**There's a possibility of a sequel, though I may just leave the aftermath up to imagination.**_

_**Please let me know what you thought of the story. It takes hours to write; seconds to review.**_

_**This is the last Chapter of The Children Of Time:**_

Time never said  
"Best you enjoy yourself now because we're going somewhere soon."  
But that's what he meant.  
(Please Find This; _IWroteThisForYou_)

Thomas. Group 2. Day 14.

Hope has the most wonderful brown eyes. Chocolate and coffee and dark oak. They draw him in and capture his heart. They sparkle under the sun. Her skin is the colour of soft caramel. She has the cutest gurgle he's ever seen and small fingers that latch on to any moving object. Hope is beautiful and she takes Thomas' breath away every time he looks at her.

Pandora is bubbly and happy all the time, at the worst times, the best times and the simply inappropriate times. Thomas loves it. He loves her rambling and her awkward comments. Her bizarre phrases and her ability to find virtually anything funny. She has the kindest heart Thomas has ever known and so much loyalty it could keep countries together. Her smile could light up a room. Pandora is the greatest person he has ever known.

He can't lose this.

He hugs Hope closer to his chest and tries to avoid Pandora's glare. They're expected to have a decision, and he doesn't want to get into an argument of what is the right thing to do. He won't go along with it.

"Thomas?" He can feel Pandora's eyes on him. "Thomas?" He looks up. "You know I'm completely bonkers at making decisions, you always make 'em for us." Pandora bites her lip and looks down at Hope only to look up again with an even more confused expression. "What're we gunna' do?"

Thomas sniffs and looks down to watch Hope sleep in his arms. She seems peaceful. "I don't know, Panda." He sighs and shrugs back at her and Pandora appears disappointed with his reply. "I don't know. What do you want to do?"

Pandora blinks in surprise. She never trusts herself to make decisions, she's used to pushing Thomas to make them. He always relents and chooses to do what he thinks she would like to do anyway. But for this, he has no idea. "It's all bonkers bananas. It's like choosing out of mint or vanilla ice-cream, innit?" To Pandora, this would be hard. Thomas tries not to smile at how she compares this to ice-cream. "I wanna' do what you do."

"Pandora," Thomas says and softens his eyes. "I don't think I can go back. I won't lose you and Hope." Pandora nods and Thomas can't make out it it's in agreement or understanding. "I love you both too much. You're my family."

"Yeah." She reaches to grab Hope's tiny hand and Thomas' knee. "They'll hate us monkey-mad. I reckon all of 'em wanna' go back."

Thomas looks out to the other survivors and swallows. He knows if they disagree, none of them can go back. He knows that their decision will affect the group and that they'll face a lot of abuse. But he can't lose his family. He can't lose Hope and Pandora. Thomas won't.

Michelle. Group 2. Day 14

Tony's running his hands in the water, his fingers stretched out wide. Michelle watches him for a moment. He looks sad and confused and kind of helpless. His eyes close as the water runs over his skin. Tony's rather handsome. She was always attracted to his personality in college. His cocky smile and his overconfident strut. Michelle just always thought she liked dicks. But Tony's not actually a dick. He just has his moments.

"Bet it's cold." She says quietly. Tony jolts in surprise and then stands up straight and turns to face her. He immediately adapts a smile. "The sea. I bet it's freezing, yeah?"

Tony half nods and tilts his head to lean on his shoulder. "A little." His voice comes out shy and even he looks surprised by it. "It's refreshing."

She smiles back and swings her hands by her side awkwardly. "Yeah?" Michelle doesn't expect an answer back.

They stand side by side for a few minutes, looking out to the sea. She can feel her hand brush past his and she pulls it round her waist instead. Tony's never usually this quiet. If she weren't so nervous herself, she'd worry about Tony's silence. The sun overhead isn't warming her skin. The whole island seems unusually cold today.

"We don't even know if it'll work." Tony flinches at her voice. His head turns just so he can look at her from the corner of his eye. "Everyone is so scared about it all. We don't even know much about it."

Tony shrugs. "Suppose." He seems to lean into her a little more and Michelle can feel the heat from his body. She wants to fall into his arms and demand that he tells her exactly what Frederick said again. "But, we still need to decide. We need to choose to drink the water if we want to see if it works. You decided yet?"

She shakes her head. "No." He laughs, like he expected as much. "I'll just go with everyone else. Even if one person objects, it won't happen. So I suspect it won't happen anyway."

"I've decided." Tony says and Michelle looks up, because she thought Tony would be on the wall until the final bell. He looks at her questioning face and carries on. "I think I want to go back."

It's not what she expected.

"It's just, all these people are dead, yeah? I can't let more people die." Tony looks into Michelle's eyes and she can't blink. His eyes are serious and demanding. "Even if I can't have the people I want."

She swallows and can't bring herself to pull out of the intense stare-off. She misses Tony, everything about him. Michelle has always been drawn to him; she fell in love in college and was never really able to forget. The first love is always the most memorable. And for Michelle, she always feared her first love was her _only_ love. Her true love.

"You're right." She croaks out and drags her eyes away. "I suppose you're right." She wishes he wasn't. She wishes that there wasn't other people to consider in the equation and that her and Tony being alive was the only thing that was important. Michelle wishes she could stay on the island with Tony a little longer. But she doesn't say it.

Sid. Group 1. Day 14.

It's been two whole weeks now; that they've been stuck on this island. Sure, the question has stuck in his mind; will rescue ever come? If they choose to stay, will they only be dooming themselves for a death on the island? Sid has watched the news before, he's seen situations where people have gone missing, but they always go back to where they started and walk out what could have happened. If the detectives did that for the plane, surely they would have been found by now.

The thing is, Sid was a weedy little fucker in college. He followed Tony around and did whatever was asked of him. In college, Sid was nothing without Tony. He was so scared to be nothing, and Tony was someone. And now, the proposition being made to them all would make his fears real. He wouldn't be allowed Tony; he'd have to find people by himself. He would have to make other friends.

The other thing that Sid worried about was Cassie. Back in Roundview, Cassie had been unstable and on the verge of death. She didn't eat anything, she was lonely, and she was just out of hospital with an addiction for cheap drugs. Although he made her try to kill herself once, he also unintentionally started her eating again. She had told him. So, Cassie needed Sid, without him he doesn't want to think about what would have happened to her.

He needs Cassie too; he just doesn't want to admit it at this moment.

Sid looks over his shoulder, at the five dead bodies all laid next to each other. He wants to give them a life. Katie died of grief over Emily, who died to save everybody and give them this opportunity. Anwar died from trying to swim to safety to save them all. And Maxxie and JJ died trying to save Cook and Katie. So, really, they are all heroes. Sid thinks they should be given a chance at life again, because they lost theirs to save others.

"What you gunna' do, Sid?" Sid doesn't have to turn to know it's Tony. He doesn't have an answer to that question yet, and he knows time is running out. Tony is the somewhat leader of this thing they may or may not do. He knows the most about it. Tony's always the leader.

"Dunno." Sid shrugs and looks away from the dead bodies. They're pale and red and dirty and _dead_. Sid is starting to feel queasy. Tony stays quiet. "You know, some part of me wishes I was dead."

Tony raises his eyebrows. "Sid-"

"No, I only mean, I wish someone else would choose my future for me, you know?" Sid closes his eyes and imagines being dead. Not being able to see anything, or hear anything. But then again, he wouldn't feel anything if he was dead. Maybe not then, he thinks. "It's just, I don't know what to do. I want to go back for them," he points to the bodies, "and I want to stay for you and Cassie and because I don't want to be a loner."

Tony nods in understanding. Because Tony seems to know and understand everything recently. "Yeah, I know." Tony says and reaches to place a hand on Sid's shoulder. "But, Sid, you have to choose based on what _you_ want. Not anyone else. Do you want to be here, or there?"

Sid feels the weight of Tony's hand; it's heavier than usual. Maybe it's the words combined and everything making Sid feel under pressure. "If I go back, I'll have no one."

"Sid," Tony shakes his head. He squeezes his fingers harder against his shoulder. Sid doesn't try and smile up at him; his eyes are wide and bewildered. "I'll always be with you. Whether or not we know each other, we're best mates. Always, yeah?"

Sid nods. His answer is already there, he knows what he has to do and what his decision has to be. He knows that his life won't get better if he stays here and rots until rescue or they finally give up. He knows that a second chance is all he has. Sid nods and swallows back the regret. He wishes he didn't have to make the decision, wishes he could go to sleep and wake up in New York and the bed he shares with Cassie. He wishes he never boarded the flight. But he did.

Jal. Group 2. Day 14.

She pulls her eyes open and launches herself to standing. She'd let herself fall asleep. Jal doesn't remember being tired; she remembers blinking, and then this. Just waking up in a strange room. Blanketed in whiteness and silence. She doesn't like it. It's too plain and too quiet. It's not even a proper room.

She shouldn't be falling asleep when she has such a big decision to contemplate.

"Jalander." Jal almost turns around and screams not to call her that, she almost rolls her eyes and sighs, she _almost _doesn't recognise the voice. But she does. Of course Jal recognises who it is, her heart speeds up and her mouth goes dry. She hesitates for a moment before swivelling round.

Her breath leaves her lips like a gush of wind in a storm. Her legs turn to spaghetti and her eyes well up instantaneously. Jal stares at him but doesn't think she'll be able to say his name. She stopped thinking about him after a while, stopped dreaming about him, stopped talking about him; it all got too painful. But here he was, standing in front of her.

Chris laughs a little, but it doesn't reach his eyes like she remembers. "Can't speak?"

She blinks and shakes her head. Maybe she'll never be able to use her voice again, she wouldn't be surprised.

She coughs, clears her throat and wipes her eyes roughly, so hard she feels bruised. She's determined to speak. "Chris," She squeaks, and Jal thinks his name is enough. Her chest aches and she thinks his name is _enough_.

"Jal." He replies and bites his lip, like he's shy. But the Chris she knew was never shy, he was always confident and out going and up for anything. The Chris she knew never hesitates on a sentence, he never feared away from something so little as words. "Good to see me?"

She nods, but she really means to shake her head. No. No, it's not good seeing him because now all the memories are brought back, and she'll have to endure being without him once the dream is over. So, no. It's not good to see him. But she carries on nodding, because right now she only has the power to agree with him.

"Yeah? Good to see you too." Chris looks around awkwardly; his hands fidget and he looks to Jal's hands, he goes as if to reach out but thinks better and swings them to his side. Jal thinks she'd like it if he grabbed her hand, interlocked their fingers and pressed their palms together, but she's not going to tell him. It'll only make it worse when she wakes. "Hear you got a big decision to make?"

This is so surreal. She notices she's still nodding from before and immediately stills her head. "Yeah." She says, her voice is cracking and weak. Jal sounds nervous. "To stay on an island or go back four years." She can't breathe. Jal wants to reach out, she wants to hide her head in his chest and bury her face in his neck and elbow and smell him in. She wants to wrap herself against him and stay like it forever.

Chris tilts his head. "What you gunna' do?"

"Stay." She says it before she thinks. Maybe that's what she actually wants. Maybe given the chance to sit and think, this would be her conclusion all along.

Chris thinks about it for a bit, biting his lip and narrowing his eyes. "Stay on the island, huh? Why?"

Jal swallows. She stares into Chris' eyes and thinks she knows. She doesn't even have to think. "There's that saying, isn't there? Something about love and loss." Chris looks confused and shrugs. She carries on. "I'd rather have known you, been with you," She breathes in. "_Loved_ you, than have never known you at all." She shakes her head. "I don't think I could deal with that. Never knowing you."

"Yes." He says, but he still looks sceptical and unconvinced. Jal expected him to fully agree. She frowns. "Jal, you should go back."

She recoils away. "What?"

"You should go back to Roundview." His voice is blunt.

Jal turns her nose up in disgust. "The old Chris wouldn't say that. He wouldn't agree." Chris sighs and steps forward. "No," she steps further away; she doesn't want to think that this isn't the Chris she knew, _her_ Chris. "No, because you don't have to decide anyway. You don't have to make the decision whether to never meet the love of your life or to-"

"You think I want to go back?"

"You're _dead_." It leaves her lips before she can stop it, and she feels the pain before it registers. He's dead. It's not like she doesn't know it, of course she does. She was at the hospital, praying by his bedside to get better. She was there when they'd walked into his flat to find no Cassie and a dead Chris. She was at his funeral, looking up at the fireworks and muttering her speech. Of course Chris is dead. It just comes as a shock, is all.

Chris looks nonchalant about it. "Yeah, but I still have to go back if you do, don't I? I'm dead now, but if you go back, I won't be anymore. And I'll have to live the last two years of my life all over again." Jal sniffs and wipes her eyes, there's a lump in her throat that's rising with every second she watches him. "Fucking tragic, right? You think I want that?"

"We don't have to go back." Her voice is quieter than a whisper, wavier than the sea.

Chris scratches the back of his head and sucks in his bottom lip. "You know you do." She closes her eyes. "You know they deserve a life. And Jal, you know it's the right thing to do. You were always fucking right." When she opens her eyes, Chris is right in front of her. His eyes searching her face and his hands hovering over her cheeks.

"Chris, I can't not know you." She shakes her head, his fingers graze her skin and she feels shivers run up the length of her spine. She feels chills. His skins is cold. "I can't, I can't-"

"Maybe you can be that famous musician, yeah? Marry a cello-man and have little piano kids or something." He tries to smile, but it looks fake and makes her feel worse.

"That's not funny." She whispers, his thumb traces just beneath her eyes, wiping the tears dripping out.

"Jal." He says and sounds genuine. Chris sound like he needs her to listen, he needs her to know, just by using her name. "Jal, I will always love you. No matter what. You understand this, don't you?"

"You're just a dream," She shakes her head, closing her eyes and trying to imagine Chris standing in front of her. But he is. He is there, pulling her forehead against his. "Chris is dead, so this can't happen."

"No." His forehead is cold. Everything about him is so cold. Her Chris was never cold, he always made her feel warm and hot and cosy from the pit of her stomach. "You know that's not true. Cassie told you I was here. Jal, you understand, don't you? You have to know, okay?"

She sniffs and nods. Chris sighs in relief. "It doesn't matter." He's saying and pressing them closer. Jal feels happier when she's nearer to him. "It doesn't matter if we don't know each other, or if we aren't together. None of it matters. Because I will always love you." Jal nods and feels Chris' head move with hers. "Always, okay?"

"Okay." Her voice croaks. "Me too. I love you too. Always, I mean."

She opens her eyes just in time to see his lips move forward and gently touch hers. They're soft and warm and just the way she remembers. She presses against him harder, moves her mouth with his firmer so they feel swollen and bruised. She wants to be closer, to taste more of him, to be able to just be with him so utterly and never have to leave.

Chris pulls away just as she begins to whimper. "Don't miss me, Jal. Because I'll never of left." The pad of his thumb flows over her lips and then pulls down to her chin and travels down her neck. She wants to stay with Chris. She wants to feel the same kind of completeness she felt with him back in college. The security, happiness and love. She doesn't want to go back.

"You'll know what to do." He says. She starts to feel sleepy and dizzy. Her eyes start to droop. Jal can't seem to pull her eyes open, they're too heavy. She grips Chris tighter, clenches her fists around his arms and feels his fingers start to pull away. She wants to stay. But she knows, when Jal wakes up, Chris will be gone and she'll be left on the island again.

Pandora. Group 2. Day 14.

She leaves Thomas and Hope near the sea and trudges through the sand. The little grains gather together and fall into each other as her footsteps make deep indents. She can see Effy lying on her own looking up to the sky, and that's where she's heading.

Effy doesn't look up at Pandora when she steps above her; she just shuffles to the right a little to get a better view of the clouds and the blue sky. Pandora coughs; just to make sure her presence is known.

"Sit down then, Panda." Effy sighs and pats the ground beside her before laying her hand back on her stomach. Pandora nods and does as she's told, the sand move again to mould around her body. Like a water bead, she thinks, maybe. "What's up?" Effy asks when Pandora just looks up silently.

She watches a circle shaped cloud pass by. An orange maybe, a ball, a mirror, a wheel. "I'm just whizzer confused." She sighs and spots a cloud that looks like a boat. She could use one of those, she thinks, they all could. Maybe then they wouldn't have to decide whether to start all over again. Pandora wouldn't have to possibly suffer the loss of her baby.

"Yeah." Effy nods and reaches to hold Pandora's hand. Pandora hoped that Effy would be the one that could tell her what to do, because Thomas is still worrying about his decision. Effy always just knew. "I guess everyone is."

"Not you, Eff." Pandora turns to look at their hands; her fingers look chubby against Effy's stick thin ones. "You're never confused. Are you, Effy?" She looks up to watch Effy's reaction.

"Dunno, Panda. I think I'm a little worried about it, maybe not confused." Effy looks neutral, like normal, Pandora thinks. That's a good sign at least, because if Effy is cool and not panicked then everyone else should be too. "Know what you and the fam' are gunna' do yet?"

Pandora shrugs and returns her eyes back to the sky. Maybe if she concentrates on the shapes of the clouds she won't have to think about losing everything she ever loved. Maybe she won't have to think about making a decision that will change everyone's life. "We're gunna' be bonkers-hated for it, I know it, yeah? But Tomo thinks we ought to stay, you know? It sounds monkeys, to stay here. Totally bananas. But we can't lose each other or Hope."

Effy hums in agreement. But Pandora doesn't think Effy really understands.

If Pandora does go back, she'll know hardly anyone. Though, she thinks that's better than most other people because she'll at least know Effy. They met at the really posh high school her mother made her start, and Tony had said it was people that met at Roundview or after. Still, Pandora knows that one Effy isn't better than two Thomas and Hope.

"You know we're best-chums, right, Eff?" Effy nods beside her. "Well, will you look after me if we go back. 'Cause I don't know what I'll do without Tomo. I think I'll go monkeys-mad and ra-ra ga-ga. I'd totally let the soup out of the box too many times and do surf 'n' turf lots and lots." Pandora sighs, Thomas made sure none of that happened. "Can you make sure nuffin' bad happens, yeah, Eff?"

Effy squeezes her hand and brings it to her face to kiss her knuckles. "Panda, I'll look after you the best, okay? You're my best friend."

Pandora nods and feels the pain in her chest and her heart start to slow at the thought of not being with Thomas and not seeing Hope ever again. It hurts more than she's ever hurt before. Worse than the time she walked into a lamppost and had to go to the hospital to get stitches on her head and knees. But Thomas had been there, he'd held her hand and squeezed it tight whenever the needle touched her skin. Thomas was always there to look after her,

Pandora doesn't know what she'd be without him, what she'd do, or how she'd manage. He was the only guy that ever really understood her and wanted to get into her box for all the right reasons. Pandora doesn't think she'll ever find another guy like him. She doesn't even think there's another one out there. There's only one Thomas for Pandora.

"Thanks a wholly lot, Eff. You're my bestie too." Pandora says. Maybe Effy will be enough. Maybe if they have to go back, Thomas will find his move to England easier without their lives of clubs, drugs and sex. Maybe Pandora will find it easier too. Maybe she doesn't need Thomas or Hope as much as she thinks. She doubts it, though.

Cassie. Group 1. Day 14.

Sid flinches at her voice. "Can we make friends now?" She reaches his side and turns to look at him. Sid doesn't turn away from the sea. "Sidney? If we're all going back, can we at least make friends before?" Her voice is pleading. Cassie doesn't want to do this, but she sensed he wasn't going to come to her, so she has to come to him.

Sid's shoulder's sink, like he's sighing, and then he turns to face her. He looks guilty. "Cass, we were never not friends, okay?" He reaches for her hands and squeezes them once they're cooped up in his. "I know that there's been fallouts and arguments, and I'm sorry I let them get between us. It's just, on this island everything seems so…"

"Wow, no. It's okay." She shakes her head, enormous relief flooding through her. She thought for a moment that he wasn't going to forgive her or make friends with her. She's like a child; she always needs reassurance. "I know. Wow, you're really lovely. I was totally worried we'd have to go back enemies."

Sid laughs. "We were never enemies, Cassie." She smiles up at him and shrugs; she thought the looks he gave her told her as much. Sid looks into her eyes and eventually his smile is wiped away and he has a sort of sad and serious face on. Cassie frowns; she'd prefer his smile back. "So, you're going back then? For definite?"

Cassie's frown evens out; her eyes go small and her mouth clamps together. "It's like, probably positive. I so thought everybody else was doing that too." Sid raises his eyebrows and then drops them. He nods his head.

"Yeah, I guess that's what everybody else is doing." He shrugs. "I haven't asked them though." He grips at Cassie's hand harder and looks at her like he wants to say something, his mouth slightly open and his eyes burning. She watches him, hoping for him to just say what he wants, and that it's a nice thing.

"Sid?" She asks, and his head kind of leans back and then he shakes it, coming out of a trance, she thinks. "Sid, are you going back?" He bites his lip.

"I'm not sure, Cass. I…" He breathes in. "I'm not sure."

She nods in understanding. Sid frowns again, like he wants to tell her the thing before, he won't speak though.

"Cassie, I need you to promise me something." He says, and his body slumps a little, his hands are tighter and clammy. "If we go back, I need you to promise me something. And I know you won't know it, but it'll put my mind at rest, okay?"

"Wow, okay." Cassie squeezes his hand back, her eyes widening in wonder. "Yes." She whispers. "I totally promise."

Sid raises an eyebrow. "You haven't heard what I'm making you promise yet."

"But I do. I'll so promise." She tries to smile, but she's getting worried. "What is it, Sid?"

"Cass," He searches her eyes. "Cassie, promise me you won't die. I mean like, purposefully. You won't overdose, you won't stop eating, you won't cut yourself. You'll stay alive, yeah? For me."

She nods. "Sidney, I don't want to die. Back then; I just wanted you. See?"

Sid sighs and shakes his head. "But, Cass. You won't. You won't have me." He brings her hands to his chest and pushes them closer. "Cassie, I need to know you'll be okay before I choose to go back. I need you to promise me, even if it doesn't count four years ago."

She opens her mouth and closes it again. Cassie has promised, she has. "I totally understand all that. I so do. And I promise, okay?"

Sid closes his eyes. "Okay." He says, but it sounds reluctant and full of regret. He pushed their heads together and before Cassie knows it, their lips are moving against each other's. She remembers when he used to kiss her like this; it's desperate and needy. His hand is in her hair and he's tugging her closer. She sighs into it.

When he pulls away, he looks broken. Like a china doll smashed to pieces and rearranged with super-saver glue. "I love you, Cassie. Even if this is years apart, I'll still love you then, four years back."

Cassie smiles and can feel Sid's hot breath against her lips. "I'll love you forever, Sid." She remembers saying this once, before Chris was dead, before New York and finding each other. She remembers saying this when she thought Sid would never lover her back the same way. She wasn't even sure he properly loved her. But not now, Cassie knows Sid loves her now. "That's the problem." She whispers to herself, and she knows she'll struggle without Sid. She knows it'll be harder to keep Sid's promise than even he thinks.

Cook. Group 1. Day 14.

Tony is holding the bottle tightly in his hand. His knuckles are turning white and his face is stern. "Cook, will you do Katie and JJ for me? The others are sorted and I guessed you might want those two?" Tony stretches his hand out, offering the bottle. There's blood on it, he'd heard it was Emily's.

"Yeah, sure." He nods and takes the bottle. The water is dirty inside and the plastic is dented and rough. "Who's doing the others?" He asks, looking behind him at the dead bodies lying beside the other.

"Naomi's doing Emily, Jal is doing Anwar, and I've already done Maxxie." Tony explains and he looks pained to say it. Cook would wince, but his bruises would scrunch up and cause a whole other meaning of pain. "Effy offered to do JJ or Katie, but I said you'd probably prefer to do it, yeah?"

"Right." He smiles appreciatively, but it's ugly on his face and he drops his lips immediately. "Yeah, thanks." Tony turns away and Cook's left to saunter over to the dead bodies.

They're paler than they have ever been, Cook hates looking at them. Covered in blood and stained sand and pale blue skin. None of them look right. Not the way Cook wants to remember any of them. "Fuckin' hell." He claps his hands together and leans over to JJ first.

JJ's mouth is already slightly parted, his large teeth just showing behind a plump lip. Cook unscrews the cap off the bottle and leaves it on his lap while he leans further down. He pulls JJ's head up with another hand, and it kills Cook that this is the way he has to treat his best mate. That his best mate is dead on the first place.

"Come on, Jay." He whispers as he pries his lips further open with the top of the bottle. "Nice and slow, mate." Cook tips the plastic so he can see water escape and gush into JJ's mouth, water dripping down his chin and down his pale neck.

He sits back and screws the lid back onto the bottle. He watches JJ's body, scans him up and down. But nothing happens. Surely something is meant to happen. He should wake up or breathe or at least swallow. But nothing happens. Cook sighs. He wasn't expecting a miracle, but if he's honest, he kind of was.

"Katie Fucking Fitch, then." He breathes in. Katie's lying next to JJ, their hands so close they're almost touching. Whilst JJ is all bloody and battered in his stomach and top half of the legs, Katie looks perfectly normal apart from the large wound filling most of her head. He's seen headshot wounds in films, always a little hole. But this is different; half of Katie's head is split open and there's dried blood everywhere. He swaps sides so he only has to see the normal half of Katie.

When Cook goes back, he'll have Freds and JJ. They'll be alright. And when Katie goes back, she'll have Emily. That's all that Katie claimed to need. Cook thinks that maybe it's a good thing anyway, that they're all going back. Because maybe his friendship won't get shattered by Effy Stonem and Freddie won't turn into such a fun-sponge. Maybe they'll all be alright. But then again, maybe not. Maybe they were all destined to fall apart.

Given the choice, Cook thinks Katie would choose to go back. He opens the bottle again and lifts Katie up to give her some water. Cook has to gently pull at her chin to open her mouth; her skin is soft and cold.

_"What about Katie? She need to go back too?"_

_"She won't need to, she's not gunna have the choice."_

Cook suddenly pulls away at the remembrance of Freddie's words. He'd thought Freddie was on about going back to the beach and joining the others, but then Katie always had a choice in that. Katie was always in charge of their search. It's weird, knowing that he had the knowledge of what was going to happen, but without him actually knowing he knew it.

He pours the water into her mouth and then steps up and away. He doesn't want to be near to the dead bodies anymore. Cook passes the water to Jal; she's already unscrewing the cap as she walks to Anwar. Her eyes are tearing up and her bottom lip quivering.

"That's four done." Tony says as Cook walks past him. He's watching Jal, so Cook guesses Tony was overseeing him do it as well. Cook shivers at the thought and he doesn't know why.

The sky rumbles a little, only a slight bit, but it's enough to make all of the survivors look up and frown. The weather is always perfect on the island. It's still sunny, but the clouds are looking less white and more grey. Cook flinches as a water drop hits his face and rolls down his cheek. It's never rained on the island before; surely he's imagining it.

_"When the first drop falls, you're going to have to decide, okay?"_

"So, what you gunna do, Cook?" Tony asks from beside him. "Are you drinking or staying?"

_"Go back, Cook. There's no other way."_

Cook doesn't even think, his brain doesn't process the words and his tongue moves without Cook's order. "I'm drinking." He says. And that's his decision made up, he thinks. Cook's going back two years. Back to fucking Roundview.

Tony. Group 2. Day 14.

Tony has to make one last visit to the forest before everything starts. Before they all have to make their decision final and drink the water or stay on the island. Before he forgets everything he ever knew and starts from the beginning all over again. Or waits here and rots on the island. Before whatever happens.

"Tony." Frederick is already there, his smile fake and his outstretched hand shaking. "Why are you here again?" He asks, but his voice holds no question.

Tony doesn't really have an answer. He just wanted to get away. It's tense on the island, everybody is caught up in making their decision, they aren't actually thinking about the aftermath. "I don't really know." He shrugs. Frederick nods. "I guess I'm just wondering if we're doing everything right."

Frederick looks to the floor, then to the sky and then at Tony. "Tony, they're all contemplating drinking the water and starting afresh. So, yes. Yes, everything is going right."

"So, you sent us here so that we could go back? All this for that?"

Frederick shakes his head and frowns. "I didn't send us here. We just are here. I just suddenly had the knowledge of what we're here for, what should happen, and what will happen. I just knew."

"Then," Tony narrows his eyes. "Who sent us here?"

Frederick shrugs. "I don't know. I don't really care, though."

"Well, will we ever find out?" Tony asks, his interest peaked and his suspicion increasing.

"Maybe." Frederick says, his voice is dull and uninterested. "Then again, maybe not."

Tony sighs and looks to the floor. He should get back. He wants to get this all over and done with. "Okay. Bye then."

Frederick reaches out and pulls at Tony's arm. "Good luck." He whispers and Tony feels chills all down his spine.

Naomi. Group 1. Day 14.

It's time.

They're all in a circle. Tony claps his hands together. Michelle links her arms with Jal. Cook pulls his arm over Naomi's shoulder. Thomas hugs Hope and grips Pandora's hand with her other hand inside Effy's. Cassie rests her head against Sid's shoulder. None of them look ready.

"Right." Tony starts, and everyone's eyes suddenly whip to face him. Naomi stares at the bottle in his hand, Emily's blood smeared around the plastic. "Naomi, will you give Emily the water?" He passes the bottle over and she nods silently at him before walking off. Her hand feels empty without Cook's protecting it.

Emily's body is at the end of the row of five. Her face is still pale, so much so that it's turning blue. Naomi feels a drop of rain on her cheek and she wipes it off dismissingly. She unscrews the cap and drops to the floor next to Emily. She immediately brings her fingers to trace up Emily's neck and along her jaw line. She misses her every day more and more.

Naomi knows that she has to go back, there's not a question of thought in her mind. She knows that her and Emily will know each other. Naomi will already be in love with her, she'll be well past the age of twelve by then. But, she remembers her dream with Christopher in Roundview. She remembers an Emily that just wasn't hers.

The dream isn't true though. Because she can be with Emily. The thing that worries Naomi is that, would they really have gotten together if they were never in the same friendship group? She wants to say yes, because she loved Emily, and nothing could keep them apart. But it was the drugs that made it safe for Naomi to give in. Would she really have been so brave without the alcohol or drugs to hide behind?

_"She doesn't know me."_

"_But she's alive. And isn't that better?"_

Naomi would give anything to be with Emily. But what she wants more is for Emily to be alive. It doesn't matter if they don't end up together, or if they can only stare at each other from across the classroom. As long as Emily is _alive_, then Naomi thinks it's enough.

"I love you, Emily Fitch." Naomi whispers and forces herself to stop bloody _thinking_ and just get on with it.

She pours the water gently through her open lips and wipes away the dripping water. With one last kiss to Emily's forehead, Naomi stands up and marches away towards the group.

"Right." Tony tries to smile at her as she passes the water bottle back. He nods down at the bottle and then watches as Naomi claims her space next to Cook again. "Right then. Let's go round the circle and say our decisions, yeah?"

Naomi gulps and prepares for an argument. Everyone will drink from the bottle. Emily did not give her life for nothing. If they don't want too, then Naomi will damn well force is down their throat.

Effy. Group 1. Day 14.

The rain is picking up now. Getting heavier, but she's only felt three drops hit her cheeks.

"Drinking." Michelle says. Jal nods and repeats it. Everyone says the same. Effy thought it would go like this anyway. She knew they'd all be going back, it's not really a surprise. Effy doesn't realise what's changed until she notices everybody is staring at Thomas and Pandora next to her.

"What?" Naomi sounds evil and confused. Almost like she's daring them to repeat what they had said. Cook grips her arm tighter and it looks like he's attempting to restrain her.

"I'm sorry everybody." Thomas looks around. Pandora squeezes harder at Effy's hand. "I just can't lose my family. I have Hope here, and Pandora. And if I go back, then I'll have none of these."

"What the fuck?" Cook pulls Naomi back again. "You think Emily just died for no fucking reason? You think she went and got that water for you to just fucking throw it away? People are dead, Thomas. Fucking open your eyes and stop being so bloody selfish."

"Naomi, everyone has a choice." Tony says and looks back at Thomas and Pandora. Hope is starting to cry and Effy watches sadly as Thomas cradles her in his arms. "You do know that if you choose not to go, we can't either, right?"

Thomas sighs. "I am extremely sorry."

"No, don't fucking sorry anyone." Naomi spits, and Effy is starting to get protective of Pandora. Her hand is turning white with the strength Pandora is squeezing with. "Emily-"

"You can't even be with her." Effy says and Naomi stops. She takes a shaky breath in and steps back into Cook. "You don't know that you'll be together. In fact, it's very unlikely."

Everyone is quiet and Naomi's eyes are welling up all over again. "No, Effy. You're wrong." Naomi sounds convinced, she sounds like she's already thought about this. "Because I've always loved Emily. We're meant to be together, and we will be together. Me and Em, nothing will keep us apart. I love her too fucking much." Naomi wipes at her eyes. "We are going back, every single one of us. And I will find Emily, and we will be together."

Thomas looks down to the floor. He's an easy push over and while Effy wants them all to get their own choice, she knows that Naomi is right. She knows that they all have to go back. It's not fair that two people stop them.

"I will not live in a world without an Emily, do you understand me?" Naomi directs her question at Thomas. He nods weakly and looks to Pandora.

"Then, we all go back." Thomas says reluctantly. His shoulders slump and his face is droopy and somewhat relived. Maybe he's just glad someone made the decision for him. "If you find your Emily, I will find my Pandora."

Tony coughs and the attention is brought back to him again. "Right, well if that's what's going to happen. Then we'll pass the bottle around. You only need one sip. Then we just have to wait to see what happens." People are starting to talk again, the sound of whispers fill Effy's ear.

Effy watches as Tony grips the bottle; his eyes are across the circle at Michelle. They're looking at each other without blinking. Tony marches across to Michelle and pulls her into a kiss in one swift motion. Effy smiles to herself and watches as Tony pulls away and chugs the water down his throat. Like that was his final wish.

Tony winks at Effy and she grins and looks across at a breathless Michelle. The bottle gets passed to Sid next and he pours some in his mouth and offers it to Cassie. It goes around the circle, and everybody is watching as Effy passes it to Pandora. She hesitantly gulps it down and almost throws it at Thomas in a rush to get it away. He closes his eyes and leans his head back to drink it.

Tony shields himself from the gushing rain. "Okay. That's done then." He says and blinks as a drop gets in his eye.

The rain is ridiculously heavy now. The sun is out but all she can see is water splashing against the sand and everybody squinting through it. She's already drenched and she can hear Hope crying. Cook's laughing and throwing his hands out for the rain. It splashes off his palm and joins the hundreds of puddles surrounding them. But that's not right, Effy thinks. Because sand absorbs water.

"_The weather's predictable, right? It never rains on the island."_

"We're not here." She whispers and looks around at everybody wincing from the rain and covering themselves with their arms over their eyes. They're falling all over the place. Searching around and in the sky to down on the ground. "We're not here." She repeats. Effy steps away from Pandora and steps in another puddle, she watches as it splashes up.

She feels dizzy; all she can see is water. Water, falling from the sky, flowing at her feet, clouding her vision. Effy squints but it only makes her eyes fuzzier. All she can hear is the loud smacking as the rain hits hard floor. But sand isn't hard. She looks around confused. Her eyes close and her eyelids are too heavy to pull back up. All she can see is black.

Then there's silence. Then Freddie's voice, a whisper. The silence after the crashing of a waterfall.

"_We'll be together soon, Effy."_


End file.
